With no thanks to being unemployed, I’m becoming lazier and lazier upon awakening each morning.   I’m telling you it’s a chore just to get out of bed to empty my bladder. I’m thinking of visiting a medical supply store for a sterling silver stainless steel bed pan.

Excuse me sir, but does this come in Sterling silver?

Oh. Wait a minute– I’ll have to empty and sterilize it and that would be too much work.  Bonaparte also adds to my laziness by making my morning coffee and bringing it upstairs for me to savor while I’m in bed! He’s an enabler.“More fake sugar please”!

I grabbed the remote and turned on the local news. The local Philly news anchors and reporters are quickly becoming my delusional BFF’s.

I’m almost an equal opportunist for local news–but no Fox in my house!

No particular station being a favorite (caveat. I refuse to watch Fox news)—I’m a notorious channel surfer. Trust me; it isn’t about the news that they report being why I love them. (Exception-Jim Donovan’s consumer reports. He rocks it!) It’s because they are so energetic at dawn’s early light—kind of like the way I used to be when I was employed. I’m practically a stalker. I’m so jealous of the head of hair that Jim Donovan has. Every time I see him I secretly whisper “Why can’t YOU lose your hair instead of me?”

They may be on competing stations, buy, by golly they are MY delusional BFF’s!

Anyway, my eyes really widened when my delusional early morning best friend, Tamala Edwards an anchor on Action News, had an item about the “Queen Bey”. Beyoncé.   Someone leaked “untouched” photos from a L’Oreal shoot.  My adrenaline really pumped up with that news–and I nearly spilled my coffee all over my comfy  princess quarters bed!

Beyoncé looks …..normal!!

What is the matter with this picture?  Nothing!

Or this one–maybe the eye shadow needs to be blended more but she looks fine!

Apparently the pics have caused quite a stir and have been deleted from one of  her fan websites. I wonder why though? We need more photographs like this. It’s a twofold reason.

Personally, she looks better in the untouched photos than in this one. Her skin is freakishly smooth. NONE of us have skin like that!

First because people need to know that cosmetics should be used to “enhance” what we already got. Cosmetics are NOT going to transform a 60 year old woman into a woman decades younger. Come on—you think with a mug like mine I’m naturally beautiful? Secondly, NO cosmetic is going to make you look “flawless”.

Two photos. Same crappy lighting.  Before, absolutely not a stitch of makeup. After, primer, foundation, blush, concealer, eye brow powder, mascara, eye shadow and eyeliner.  It may take a village for some, but for me it takes an entire cosmetics company!

I’ve written about “full coverage” foundations and there is no such thing as full coverage unless you go to a hardware store, purchase spackle, apply it to your face and then apply the make up over it.

I just may start using this on my face!

We need truth in advertising!

Secondly—Beyoncé is still beautiful with normal girly skin. We all get little bumps. We all have uneven skin. What. Is. The. Big. Deal??????

I’m also curious incredibly nosey to see what Beyoncé has to say about those untouched photos for L’Oreal—simply because she’s posted plenty of untouched selfies—and these two are flawless.

A master of selfies–she knows her good lighting!

It’s the filtering and the lighting. Trust me, I’m a shameless “Selfiest” and it takes tons of selfies to get one decent one. (Now you know my secret for my “decent” pics)

Another favorite untouched photo of the moment is this one of Cindy Crawford. She’s going to be 49 tomorrow! 49!!!!

This is the most amazing pic–and I hope everyone out there loves it!

I love the fact that this photo shows that a supermodel has some ripples to her belly and thighs. She’s still not your average older woman, but this picture paints a very realistic view of what the ageing process does to a woman’s body! Seeing Crawford as humanly possible as in this photo should make all women feel better about themselves. I honestly think a photo like this is so much better for our personal body image than to see a body that has been retouched and photo shopped to the point of  seemingly having a body smoother than a Barbie doll’s.

I’ve always loved Cindy Crawford’s looks anyway.

Lovin’ that messy hair look!

For a supermodel she’s always been very “girl-next-door” looking but with a edge. She looks  slightly “Walk-of-Shame”—in a kind of Angie Dickenson and Bardot way. You know, in a slightly messy-hair, just a tad unkempt look.

Actually, that infamous saunter should be called “Walk-of-Shameless”. Guys can brag about a conquest whilst a lady has to return from a night of bouncy-bouncy as if she was naughty? More power to those naughty girls and the girls who look like they’ve enjoyed an evening of physical exercise! Hey, I’m just telling it like it is!Might I add, Angie looks fabulous in this pic. At 84 years young, she’s still hot!

Seriously—as an old lady makeup junkie, I’ve taken many a mascara ad seriously and I have the tubes to prove it.  

No mascara is going to have your lashes looking like this! We need realistic ads!

I’ve seen ads of lips, beautifully photographed with the perfect color, shine and plumpness—with a promise to stay put on my mouth for 12 hours—I believe the timing is more like 12 minutes!

Promises and statements telling me I’ll be flawless. It’s not going to happen. The makeup and all products beauty will still be purchased—and used. Why can’t the cosmetics companies just be upfront and honest?

Seeing those untouched photos is a breath of fresh air—and instead of untouched photos of Crawford and Mrs. Carters’ being “leaked”—they should be celebrated!

Let’s keep it real!

Let’s celebrate with Aretha singing “Natural Woman”—shall we?