I’m changing the words to Willie Nelson’s “On The Road Again” to “My Wide Load Again”
My wide loan again
Need to get rid of my wide load again
Need to work it till its lean
And thin again
I just need to get rid of this load again!
Literally stuffed into my white jeans. BTW, I should NOT be wearing these since it is after Labor Day. Also–has anyone noticed that I’ve been taking photos of myself in this mirror since January and I’ve YET to take it out of the cardboard packaging and hang it? How lazy can I possibly be? Note to self–hang mirror sometime in the near future!
I worked out yesterday. NO…not at the gym sillies! I took a little trip to the Outlet mall. Walking around the outlets is my exercise. You know how exercise raises “happy” chemicals in your body? Well, I walk and then imagine the shit I can buy when I finally get a job—I’ll be so happy! Imagine me carrying around that Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag!
Deeply shallow as ever, THIS is what I achieve to earn when I become re-employed!
Exercise also relives stress and anxiety. My mall walk will be just the medication I need. Besides, I am carrying a wide load in the seat of my pants! No. It isn’t an issue with a certain bodily function. It’s the weight gained from the past ten months. I need to be active in order to get rid of my fat ass. This ass isn’t going to disappear on its own you know.
So off I went to the Philadelphia Outlets in Limerick. Luckily, my old jeans still fit. Well, I’m stuffed into them like a Polish Kielbasa, but let’s not talk about food right now……
Air conditioning on high. Music at “eleven” and I’m ready to make my way to the outlets!
The air was crisp and clear and not sweltering. It’s actually quite nice to be able to go outside and walk at an outdoor mall when the weather permits. Besides, parking at any shopping center mid-week, provided it isn’t Christmas time, guarantees the space of one’s choice!
Not a cloud in the sky and crisp, clear weather. Perfect for walking around the outlet mall. It was also great because mid-week doesn’t have the crowds that the weekend brings!
In and out of various clothing shops, I realized that there are an awful lot of crappy goods being manufactured. Complete garbage—fabrics don’t drape correctly, seams are loosely sewn, inconstant sizing. I decided to hit J. Crew Factory and then leave…..
Until I passed by the Lindt Chocolate store. I love Lindt chocolate. Bonaparte loves their chocolate too. The difference between Bonaparte’s love for it and mine is that he has willpower. I do not. Hand me a bag of Lindt chocolate truffles and I’ll eat the entire bag. The. Entire. Bag.
I could go through an entire bag in less than an hour–or until I get sick! Bonaparte has incredible willpower. He can eat one. One. And not go after the entire bag! (photo by Guava Rose)
So I passed. I didn’t even enter through the doors. I just kept walking over to J. Crew. But, as I continued to walk, I couldn’t get the thought of chocolate or sweets out of my mind. A craving was beginning to build. On a good note, Factory had some decent stuff for 40% off. I ended up with a navy pair of Gigi pants, and a plaid popover shirt. Both would look cute in a casual work environment! (As if…..)!
I had to size up in the shirt, but I like the looseness of it and I love the half-tuck!
Ya know, that damn chocolate was still on my mind as I left the outlets. It was as though the more I thought about eating healthier, the more I envisioned vegetables dripping with chocolate syrup. All I could think about was a recipe I had seen recently for chocolate almond toffee!
I had to stop at Wegmans on the way home and grab the ingreeds to make that toffee. Then I got to Wegman’s and had a different epiphany. Why not give in to a small indulgence instead?
Wegmans in Collegeville, PA. I have a love/hate relationship with this location. In the first place, there are more “handicapped” and “Parking reserved for parents with small children” signs in the lot than regular spaces. In the second place, this Wegmans never has anything I need…
Instead of going with the toffee, I picked up a jar of the Wegman’s Nutella dupe. I also picked up a small bag of sliced almonds. And rice cakes.
Wegmans “Hazel ‘Nuttin” a perfect dupe for Nutella. It actually tastes really good!
My sweet craving was satisfied in the form of what I shall deem “Cathe’s Craving”. A rice cake topped with the Wegman’s fake Nutella, a sprinkle of fleur de sel, and on top of that, sliced almonds. Not as fatty. It’s gluten-free and healthier than wolfing down an entire pan of homemade chocolate almond toffee.
This kept my cravings at bay. Rice cake = 45 calories. Fake Nutella = 80 calories for 1 tablespoon. Sprinkling of almonds = I don’t know, but it cannot be as bad as a pan of chocolate almond toffee.
I looked in the fridge and noticed that I was really low on my jar of peanut dressing. That’s another craving. This dressing is so stinking great that I only use the basic recipe just to make sure I have the ingredients on hand.
Asian Kale Slaw with Ginger Peanut Dressing I’ve posted this recipe before and will do it again. The dressing is the best of all time! ALL TIME!!!
Then I quadruple –or more—the recipe and go to town. This needs to be made in large quantities. It also gets thicker when left in the fridge for a while so you can use it as a dip or to spread on bread or whatever. It’s bangin’!
Ingredients at the ready–it’s time to make more spicy ginger peanut dressing–or sauce–or dip. Whatever you use it for, it is awesomeness!
Atypically me, I didn’t have any fresh ginger in the house but I ended up using powdered ginger and it did the job!
I always have a stash of this in the fridge. Make it. Please. You will thank me later. Oh yes. You WILL thank me!
I also received a card in the mail from Oona. When I opened it, she wrote a note to me that made me cry and touched me. It’s now in my purse for inspiration.
This was divine intervention for me. It came at a most-needed time! I love Oona!
Despite the emotional ups and downs I’ve been experiencing lately, the best up was receiving those words from my daughter. I guess I’m not the loser I wrote about a few days ago. Huh?
My day was a good one, like a jar of mixed nuts—I had mixed emotions. From disappointment about my wide load, to being gloriously happy with some stellar weather. From cravings for decadently luxurious sweets, to a solution in enjoying in moderation. From feeling like a loser a few days back, to knowing that I have a daughter who loves me and is rooting for me to succeed.
Yesterday was nice!
Well, speaking of wide loads, I HAVE to give you Willie Nelson! On the Road Again!
XOXOXOXO!!
Most days are like that for me, up and down all the way through.
Ain’t that the truth? Up, down, inside out and back around! But for some bizarre reason a great weather day seems to make it better–and even better is when you realize that you are loved! XOXOXO!!
I love going on your excursions with you. I’m so happy you chose the low calorie version of your chocolate treat. What a lovely daughter you have!
Oh Cathy, you can come along on my excursions ANY time! Yeah. That low-calorie version made me a very happy person–but I was happier to get that card from my daughter! XOXOXO!!!
PS I DID notice the mirror and chuckled when you mentioned it!
Right?? I’m going to have to have Bonaparte hang that mirror this weekend. Lord knows if I do it, the walls will crack or some awful thing like me hammering my hand will occur! LOL!
Fun going to the outlets with you. Love the shirt. Love the note.
I read this today, thought it was funny. “My goal this year was to lose 10 pounds. Only 15 more to go.” 😊
LOL. Jean, that goal should be on my fridge! That’s great–I love it. And it is just so true! XOXOXO!!!
Catherine! Your posts continue to bring me sunshine!
I’m so glad you feel that way! XOXOXO. Thank you! XOXOXO!!
I admire your ability not to go near that Lindt chocolate. The nut one would definitely overcome any feeble resistance I could put up.
This was hilarious! I have a love/hate relationship with our Wegmans too. I think they hide things on purpose! xoxo!
Hi Meg. Oh. I need to do a post on Wegmans alone! I’ve actually had “words” with their bakery department on the horrific quality of their *cough* “fresh” baguettes! Bonaparte, being the contrarian Frenchman, has taught me the finer points of picking out a baguette. It isn’t a pretty sight to see me and the bakery manager arguing because I inspect every loaf……………XOXOXOXO!!!
We were spoiled for real French baguettes after we visited Paris a few years ago. I even tried baking my own, but its just not the same. *sighs* Can’t wait for your Wegmans post! XOXOXO!!!
I think this is a great read! I’m not a big purse carrier, but that LV is awesome! And the note from Oona. I love it. I get those little notes all the time from my daughter, but they look more like this “eeruichjdueblkglsjhgr”. She is 4, but I know how much love was put into it! I need to do a day trip to our outlet mall. Although, I don’t think I would walk away from the chocolate store. Especially Lindt Truffles. I’ll sit down and eat an entire bag with ya, than we can laugh about how it should have been an avacado or something. XOXO
Hi Megan! Oh…your daughter’s notes will definitely change someday. I still have stuff from all three kids from when they were about your daughter’s age. Isn’t it sinful how we just cannot eat chocolate in moderation? I’m incredibly scared because Halloween will soon be here–and if I purchase any candy in advance, I’ll eat it. Last year I consumed an ENTIRE bag of these “Butterfinger cups”. I wasn’t even ashamed either–THAT’s the bad thing! XOXOXOXO!
Take no shame in your indulgences! I have done that, eat an entire bag of candy, and than want to go to the store and get more. AH! My daughter started school last year, I now have a box FULL of artwork. Its priceless to me. One box I would grab in a fire, flood or tornado! 🙂
I loved your post today and could identify with it so much… seems to be a lot of those emotional ups and downs going around these days. I hope now that Autumn is here things will mellow out! {{{Catherine}}} Hang in there, girlfriend.
Hi Cheryl. Ain’t it the truth? Wanna sit next to me and join me to ride that roller coaster together? XOXOXO!!
I’d be honored anytime, girl!
Funny as always – and those selfless you take are priceless.
Hi Anand. LOL. Just call me the Kardashian of the badly focused and posed selfies! Hahahahaha!!! XOXOXOX!!
Why my computer plays with my words – “those selfless you take”? I swear I typed “selfies” (Ok, I saw it do it again! Mad Meddling Machine!)
Your wit is contagious! Love the humor and the photos, too!
Hi Rose. Thanks! Can you do me a kindness and come over to hang that mirror for me? LOL!! XOXOXO!!
Uhm. 😀 Hahaha
Oh, what a lovely lovely daughter you have raised!
Hi gk, Thanks!!!! I’m missing my Oona, but we talk almost every day! I was so happy to receive that card! XOXOXOX!!
Our daughters LOVE us and GET us (our sons don’t always get us) lovely lovely note, and how kind of you to share!
Catherine, chocolate is loaded with vitamins for our “young” brains and Fall should be “chocolate indulging season” I believe…
Ah! the good thing about being unemployed are crowd free shopping malls..and our padded behinds protect us from injury when we fall back gasping at the price tags (we can no longer pay as we are unemployed, but free to stroll on a crisp beautiful September week day) 😉
Sorry, very difficult to write on this crazy uncooperative tablet 🙁
Oh how true. Our daughters “get” us far more than our sons do! That’s for sure. Hmmm….you are making so much medicinal sense on why I should be wolfing down chocolate. …….
Let it be said that the ONLY reason I want to be employed is for the funding that it lends to my favorite charity: ME! I need stuff! Oh..don’t even worry about the tablets—or the phones for that matter. I’m convinced you need skeleton fingers to type anything! XOXOXO!!!
*laughs about the mirror* Oh, it looks good like that! Love the white jeans. Statham wears white jeans!
LOL. Prof. I’m a rebel! Getting ready to don some more white jeans on this September Friday! The mirror remains unhung! XOXOXO!
*laughing* Yeah and fist thingies for rebel! I think the mirror is meant to be left that way, the sudden.
Wegmans!! We need one down here,,I miss them!! As for Lindt chocolates,,,sign me up!!!!!