We all know what last Friday was. It was the day #nevermypresident was sworn in as the 45th President of The United States.
Orange you glad you didn’t watch his inauguration? I know I am!
It was a sad day for many of us—especially those who voted for the woman who won the popular vote. Hillary Clinton. But—alas, America really isn’t a democracy when it comes to a Presidential election because of the electoral college. And this election was even less democratic because it was compromised by our President’s “friend” *wink*, *wink*, *nudge*—Vladimir Putin. (And just where was Vlad during the inauguration? My guess is that he had some “girls” sent over from Russia and they all waited in a hotel suite for Mr. President!)
Two big dick-taters sharing everything they possibly can. Maybe that should be “small” instead. Hurry up Mr. Orange. You need to get dressed for your inauguration!
Despite the sadness and the gloom over the inauguration, there is always a bright side. Um—no. I’m not talking a bright side to the next four years. I’m talking the bright side of the Inaugural Fashions.
And though I didn’t watch the ceremonies of the day or evening, like, Mrs. Kravitz, the nosey neighbor in the TV show “Bewitched”, I just had to snoop the internet to find out what this alternative truthful family, along with their friends, wore.
I’m just as appalled at some of the fashion choices as Mrs. Kravitz is (BTW, I like her, the ORIGINAL Mrs. Kravitz better!
Come along with me while I offer my honest opinions on some interesting ensembles and clothing choices. And I will not give you any “alternative facts”. I speak the truth! Let’s have a look-see!
And just like Mrs. Kravitz, I’m at my little window spying on the First Family. Oops! Can I say “spying”? I don’t want the CIA mens after me!
Mr. Not-My-President looks like he is about to shart. His pants are too short Melanoma, Malaria, Mesopotamia, Medusa, Morocco,Malta, Mississippi, Melania Trump in her favorite color. NUDE! It’s so befitting of her! The dress fits horribly across her well-endowed and very expensive bust. With all her husband’s money she couldn’t buy a decent bra? They are kind of saggy and need a bit of uplift. Our First Porno Posing Lady needs to go to Princesse tam tam to get a proper bra. This dress also makes her look washed out. Proof that money can’t buy good taste!
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! While the First Couple of Grifters were enjoying their pre-inauguration dinner, Ivana was leaving New York City for D.C. She did attend the inauguration but I could not find any pictures of her ATTENDING this inauguration. What the hell is she wearing? Did she dye one of the wild animals her moron sons hunted? And that purse–I thought it was some sort of exotic blue melon with a handle! The shoes–OMG–they need to be polished and the hemline on those pants…have you ever heard of a tailor? The demim jacket under the blazer? Oh please. But always looking for a ray of sunshine, I love the updo and the lipstick!
The most unchristian Roman Catholic on earth! My good buddy Pope Francis doesn’t even like this guy. I think VP Pence is giving a “Heil Hitler” salute to Trump! Back to fashion–Mrs. Sickpence has a very ill-fitting gown. She is not wearing it. It is wearing her. Way too much fabric. Her titties are down to her waist. What’s with the saggy look? And the spaghetti straps with the droopy off-the-shoulder hanging fabric? And I thought the fashions at the Golden Globes were bad. You are the wife of the Vice President. Dress the part. Don’t dress like you are the mother-of-the bride at a trailer park. And put some blush and lipstick on for cryin’ out loud. Looking on the bright side. The color looks good on her. And that ain’t sayin’ much!
Oh look! It’s the big “Alternative Factor” herself. She looks stunningly beautiful!! Hahaha–I alternative facted! The dress doesn’t fit around the middle. And no amount of makeup would make that hag look anywhere near attractive. Her hair is dull and lifeless. She should wear a wig. Fake hair would really help her fake personality. I know–I wear fake hair all the time. Jeez–she really looks like a witch when she smiles. Satan in a gown. (Shhh. I’m actually like George Washington. I cannot tell a lie. I DO like the dress. But she’s such an ugly soul that I don’t like the dress on her. I should own that dress instead!)
One of the inauguration festivities. I love Tiffany Trump. She has that oh-so-slightly-slutty look. She’s my fave! The short in front-long in back look is so 2015! But I know why she’s smiling from ear-to-ear. She can drink till kingdom come and she’ll always be protected. We should have all been that lucky when we were her age! Ivanka. Why is she wearing emerald green? She’s not Irish. That look on her face says “Upper-East-Side-Paxil”. I know this. My friends and I were “Upper-West-Side-Zoloft” Mommy needs her meds. Is that little girl Ivanka’s daughter–or is it Wednesday Adams? We are ALL in mourning–but you couldn’t dress this child in a cheery ensemble? And the hair–maybe mommy Ivanka needs to start paying more attention to her little girl. Just sayin’
Ivanka and her brother Beavis –or is it Butthead–look like two zombies. Are you THAT upset that the Secret Service is now going to be up your ass 24/7. He may like that. This outfit of Ivanka’s. It says so much more than “fashion”. The asymmetrical lines remind of..they look so…the outfit looks like..
…it looks like an upside down KKK hood. Well, her daddy IS pretty friendly with some of these guys!
Here we have Barron Trump, my favorite girl Tiffany and Ivanka. Happy little siblings. Just like Bob Ross’s happy little trees! Barron has a nice head of hair and he doesn’t look too happy. I know why. Look at his shirt. The collar is way too big. And the tie. For God’s sake. Take this boy to Brooks Brothers and get him a proper fit. He’s the First Son! He has the makings of a prepster teen icon and he’s dressed like he has his first hangover! My adorable Tiffany DOES look slightly hungover. It’s ok Tiffany, I won’t let on that you were out in Georgetown tramping it up the night before. You’re a party girl. I like that! Ivanka changed the part in her hair. It looks much better but girl, get rid of that KKK suit!
I’m having “issues” with Ivanka as a mother. Look how she dressed her daughter for Inauguration Day Church. I realize they are Jewish but go out to Long Island. If you think for one second that any of MY Jewish girlfriends or my sister would allow their daughters in a synagogue on the High Holy Days in that outfit, you would be kicked out! Put a comb through your daughter’s hair! Or if you can’t be bothered, get her hair cut in a China Chop Bob! She would look precious with a cut like that, and a part on the side with a huge bow. Absolutely adorable. Do I see the hem of her dress hanging from under the coat? Ivanka. You have a clothing line. How can you allow your daughter to be dressed so sloppy? White coat, white tights? No, she should have either opague knee socks or ankle socks and patent Mary Jane shoes. Ivanka. Burgundy is becoming on you. But please, don’t wear a bathrobe to a church. You may have been in a hurry but you could have worn a dress. And the bag. Black would have been better. Are the shoes from your Ivanka Trump line? I dig the toe-cleavage!
Hill and Bill! Remember Hillary, YOU won the popular vote. But think how lucky you are now. Nobody can blame you for “alternative truths”!!! How come the republicans said you “lied” but they insist that Trump told “alternative truths”. BTW, your white outfit is more empowering. You look more like a doctor than a KKK supporter. That Ivanka–huh?
Oh shit! I almost had a heart attack at this scary sight! It’s Sataness again! She’s laughing with glee at all the “alternative facts” she will be spewing for the next four years. Jesus. Help me.
Kellyann Conway doesn’t even know what country she lives in. This is NOT Bastille Day you idiot! You are NOT one of Napolean Bonaparte’s Army. It’s bad enough you insult the people of America–now you’re insulting the French!
Yes. You CAN plagiarize an outfit–just like I stole this meme! Ralph Lauren hasn’t an original bone in his fingers. His big original Inauguration ensemble for Monaco, Metz, Michigan Melania was a direct rip-off of the Oleg Cassini that my beautiful Jackie Kennedy wore. Mrs. Trump steals speeches and now clothing. Her hair looks fabulous though. And the light blue looks nice on her too. But her color still remains “nude”!
Michelle Obama always looks great. But this outfit isn’t cutting it with me. I’ve seen my Michelle in better. I don’t like the length of the coat. It would have been much better in a shorter length and there’s too much fabric. A tailored coat would have been perfect. I feel your sadness Michelle–I love the boots. And the hair. I love you!
Hold your horses! The Sloveian doesn’t have to place her hand over her heart to recite the Pledge?? That is so unAmerican. Oh wait. She IS unAmerican! Will her husband send her back in the box she was mailed to him in? You are First Lady now Melania. Respect the Pledge!
Ugh. Trump is so vile looking. Even his trophy wife can’t make him look better. But look! To the left! Tiffany’s booties! OMG. They look like they came from Forever 21! They are absolutely horrific with that coat. This makes me admire Tiffany even more…
I’m thinking she changed into the booties because these slutty shoes were too slippery on the church floor! She probably had the booties left over from all the Georgetown partying the night before. The coat is reminding me of one of those blankets with the satin trim at the top. Right? Tiffany–you might look a bit unkempt but trust me. You will end up the most popular member of this family. You need to write a book with your mom Marla. We’ll all buy it!
I’ll bet he needed lessons on how to behave in Church since I’m sure its been decades that he’s been in one. What’s with all the belted coats? Does no woman wear a classic tailored coat anymore? I think Melania will be praying that she can soon take all her clothes off and run naked through the white house. She’ll be more comfy!
Oh. Another Upper-East -Side Paxil mommy! Hey. If I had to wake up next to him in the mornings, I would be medicated too! The neckline of this gown is beautiful. As you move downward the dress turns from cute and hip to Mother-of-the-Bride. Not a youthful look. What’s with the Trump brother’s and the oil slick hair? What–are they Miami Vice fans?
Oh..I see now. They hunt animals and use the animal fat as hair dressing. NOTE to Trump brothers. I hope you get hunted down like this poor innocent animal did.
I’m thinking I need to be friends with Marla. I wish I could have seen the rest of her dress because if it is anything like what we are seeing–then Marla Maples gets the award for best dressed woman during the inauguration! The hair. The necklace. The neckline. I think Marla and Tiffany are the best mother/daughter team ever. Besides me and Oona! I love Tiffany’s lashes and that lady behind her seems to be having the time of her life!
Look at #nevermypresident’s hair. It’s so–umpresidential! Whats with the little crimson ribbon across Mitsubishi’s, Minnesota’s Melania’s waist. And those swoshes? Is she a walking add for Nike? I’m laughing out loud because of all those fake Christian fundie’s who cast stone’s at Michelle Obama’s sleeveless frocks and sweaters. What do they think of that slit? I guess it makes it easier for Mr. #notmypresident to grab her p……
Stop the presses. Look who showed up at the Inaugural Ball! Kaitlin Jenner. Now she’s a woman with REAL balls! She is also a disgrace to the LGBT community to show up where equality will be a thing of the past. BTW, s/he looks awful. This type of dress doesn’t look flattering on a body with such broad shoulders. And the fillers–way too much and the makeup is horrible. On the bright side. That shade of blue is very flattering to Kaitlin. The purse is ridiculous. It doesn’t even match the shoes. Pewter shoes and a pewter bag would have added so much to this outfit!
Thank you Hollywood Life for this fabulous photo of the great Tiffany Trump! The gown looks so–Upholstery!! I want to cover a chair with this fabric. Tiffany–you’re so much fun. Keep smiling and keep having fun!!!
The First Family of Alternative Truths! Only in America. Ivanka’s gown. I think she’s going to recycle it for an evening Bar or Bat Mitzvah for her children. Or she’ll recycle it for the wedding of one of her children. I don’t understand why a young woman, who is very pretty would wear a matronly gown like that. Ivanka should be wearing what her stepmommy is wearing.
And my sincere thanks to my favorite designer Mr. Karl. Thank you for not dressing anyone for the inauguration. You’re my friend again!
I love you Mr. Karl! Even though I can’t afford your designs!
This is the second time I’m posting this song because it is how I feel every time I think of our #notmypresident and the congress. George Harrison with the prolific “Beware of Darkness”
What delightful viterol you bad girl. I have been avoiding looking at anything to do with that event, especially after seeing the Grabber’s wife dressed in the Ave Maria blue monk’s robe/Jackie O rip off. What a travesty.
Hi KB! I couldn’t resist. The clothing was just too much for me to not throw snark upon! Can you believe what a rip off artist Ralph Lauren is? He’s as bad as Kors! It’s ridiculous. However, Tiffany, will remain my choice of favorite of the family. I think she’s a bit of a rebel. Or I’m hoping she is!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
YOU NAILED IT!
FANTASTIC!
THE SON BARON……..I think there is something WRONG THERE!He has NEVER cracked a SMILE ONCE!!!!!
ARE THEY JEWISH…………..REALLY?I did not know that…………but that surprises me!
WHY?
NO IDEA but it does…………
THE ITALIAN says he will be IMPEACHED…………I think someone from TEXAS will get FED UP and bring out the GUNS!
ALL we can do now is wait and see…………………..it truly is UNBELIEVABLE.
XOXOXO
Hi Elizabeth! Ivanka converted to Judaism when she married. She needs lessons on how to be a Jewish mother! Some of my girlfriends could advise her! One rule–dress your kids for the occasion! Ugh! They are so vulgar–and that’s no alternative fact! I hope your husband is correct!!!!
THANK YOU for the FACTS………….XO
Yes perhaps there is something wrong and they prefer to keep it private. Or perhaps there is nothing wrong. My God! He’s just a kid!
You are most welcomed Elizabeth!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Hey Catherine–
I got such a kick out of seeing my old friend Gladys Kravitz from “Bewitched” in your post! I hadn’t thought of her in years, but she was such a hoot. Thanks for brightening up a rainy (in Phoenix! It’s a crime!) Monday when I had to stay at work two extra hours!
Fabulous pics of the whole Trump Travesty! And great commentary mais oui! I think the gowns looked so-so. Melania had to channel Jackie K’s dress (and steal Michelle O’s speech) because, bless her, she doesn’t have a mind of her own, poor dear. She is beautiful, I will say, as are the Trump women. Poor Mrs. Pence just did what she could–the fact that she showed up in public with her twit of a spouse (the Hoosiers are soooo glad to be rid of him, you have no idea–their win is the country’s loss) is a testament to her courage. So I won’t slam her.
I’m saving my vitriol for Kellyanne Conway (here’s my take on the old Hollies song “Carrie Ann”:
“Hey Kellyann, what’s your lie now, what are you s’posed to say?”) Her Inauguration red/white/blue ensemble made her look like a 1960’s Braniff flight attendant–the coach section, of course. A joke of a dress for a joke of a woman, and I am NOT spewing “alternative facts” on that one. That hideous look made my Friday, and offered me a little light in a dark, dark day. Her taste is clothes is just a deplorable as her taste in bosses.
Great post. Have a good week. To me, a great week would be the firing of Sean “Alternative Facts” Spicer and lil ol’ Kellyann, These two are DANGEROUS.
Hi Nancy! Yeah. There appears to be a “Free Melania” movement starting but I feel no sympathy nor do I feel empathetic toward her. She knew what she was getting into. If she wanted out she could have left! She’s an overpriced call girl. And don’t even get me started on that copy of my beloved Jackie.
You’re right though about the gowns. Nothing was Wow!!! Mrs. Pence. Oy. I had nuns in school that looked more hip than her! I can’t even with Kellyann. She IS Satan with a vagina. And I’m being ladylike in my words!!
Our country is in for a bad, bad, bad time. And moreso than blaming Trump. I blame those who voted for him and those who were too damned lazy to get off their butts and get to the polls!! XOXOXOXO!
PS. I love your rendition of The Hollies Carrie Ann!
Hahah I love how you made humour out of such a unfortunate event. Best of luck to you Americans!
Thanks Quinn!!1 We will need a lot more than luck!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Your post is a breath of fresh air! Laughing and crying at the same time!
That’s one of the reasons I had to write that post with humor. I was tired of crying. I’m still really upset but we have to find humor in this or we’ll all go crazy! XOXOXOXO!!!
The world has officially gone to hell in a hand basket. Cannot speak.
Cindy F
Cindy–Its gone worse than that!!! ANd every day that orange monster is in office it’s going to get even worse!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Loved this post. That vile troll will never ne my president either.
Hi Kathy. I’m very happy that you loved it. Oh. He’s the most disgusting creature of all time–next to Hitler. I blame the ignorant and misinformed people who support him and the morons who were “mad” because Bernie didn’t get the nomination then voted for Trump in rebellion. Idiots. Then we have the “lazy” contingent who couldn’t be bothered–their laziness were votes for the Orange menace. XOXOXOXOXO!!!
Catherine,
Thank you for making me laugh again! The hipocracy of the Republicans who surround me in my everyday life has nearly leveled me. I turn to your blog for the strength to go on. We have seen crassness, bullying and outright lying become the path to victory. The future is terrifying. Please keep the posts coming – they’re my lifelines!
Thanks Elizabeth! I’m telling you. I HAD to find something to laugh at and throw snark to because on Friday, I cried. I was so depressed. I still cant’ watch that filthy pig on the news. I turn him off. XOXOXOXO!!!
I So love this post. too funny.
Thanks Dude!!! Glad you loved it and had a few laughs!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I really think Tiffany should hire you as her spokesperson! Wow! Then you’d be on the inside and think of what luscious gossip you could blog about! 😀
Oh Lady Calen, If I was Tiffany’s spokesperson the things I would have her saying to her dad….I would love to make her my puppet!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
The most hideous dress is the one that Mrs Pence is standing in. I think Tiffany is the US equivalent of Princess Beatrice. They both are unable to close their mouth and always look so gormless. May be Kellyanne Conway thought it was a costume party with the theme of “favourite ruler” so she combined a Napolean inspired suit with her dreadful orange fake tan. I feel slightly sorry for Melania as she signed up as a trophy wife which does not require her to lead by example, inspire, speak articulately, and take on great responsibility. Thanks for all your insight and can’t wait for the Academy Award post.
Hi Yvonne. Is that dress the worse rag you’ve ever seen? WTF was she thinking? It’s true. Tiffany IS our USA version of Beatrice. OMG. I am going to have so much fun with Tiffany! I really hope she is very visible!!
Conway. I swear the woman gets uglier with every breath–and it her soul that is ugly. She is disgusting. With Melania–I don’t feel sorry for her at all. She was interviewed a while back. And she stated how she actually broke up with him when they were dating because of his “philandering”. She knew damn well what she was getting into. She wanted a wealthy man (who doesn’t pay taxes) and she’s stuck with him. Oh well!
The Oscar nominations were announced today. What a boring list. Slim pickings this year. But I’m sure the bad fashions will give me plenty to snark upon!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I think Ivanka was the main inspiration behind Patsy Stone of AbFab, so for that I can accept her as I am imagining she could be a lot of fun. However, some of the others – hmmmm not my style. The Kellyanne person looks erm, interesting. Maybe someone gave her the “alternative truth” when they told her she looked fabulous darling…
Juliet. That’s Right!! Ivana has Patsy Stone hair! I KNEW that updo looked so fantastic! Kellyanne Con’artist’way. Ugh. She looks like a total oiler!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Really? I was certainly getting tired MO’s toned guns. She is a completely different build than Mrs. Trump. Will have to say she looked very classy, she reminded me of Carla Bruni. I’m sure Hillary’s pant suit would suit more of us than Ivanka”s she looks pretty damn good after 3 kids. As I sit here in my LLBean couture made in God only knows foreign country rat hole I have no room to comment on fashion. I think our country has to be the top or close to the top for worst dressed. We are a throw away society and it shows. You should look a Cote Texas blog for an altogether different take on the Inauguration. Catherine you make me laugh out loud! Thanks.
Jesus, Pam. You HAD to do it. You HAD to tell me to look at Cote d’ Texas. I added the link to this post in the replies. I couldn’t help myself. It was too tempting. I’ll probably have the CIA at my door tomorrow after that one!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
What a great site, Pam. Thanks!
Omg..you are too funny.
I Really am Lol.
Hi June!! Glad you enjoyed!!! We needed a good laugh out of the inauguration!!! XOXOXO!!!
Per Joni at Cote’ de Texas. The curtains now hanging in the Oval Office are the ones that Hillary choose for Bill…me thinks that was intentional!! My outrage grows by the day!
Love this post!!! So dang funny!! I sure needed the laughs!! Thx…
Hi Renee! You are quiet welcome. Oh I felt the same way about the curtains!!! XOXOXO!!!
Great work, Catherine!
Thanks HJ!! It’s always fun when a guy gives his opinion on the posts!! Thank you! XOXOXOXO!!!
I try to read when I can, Catherin. I still love Denver. Finally made it out there last year. Beautiful!
Catherine, you made me laugh so hard with this one! Thank you for that.. this election has been really hard for me to accept. You were pretty much on the mark with everything.. did you ever think of auditioning for a TV role, because you would be great at it! Thanks for the laughs my friend!
Hi Annamarie. Oh I would LOVE to be on TV. I don’t think the networks would appreciate it–especially the network where both of my sons work. I do believe they had me banned!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Excellent Post! One comment: Dollars to doughnuts, the guide is the one who shot the beast. I don’t see those two doofuses wielding a rifle very well.
Hi Patty. In true Trump form they made it look like they shot. Hmmm. Alternative factors those two. Perhaps if they did shot the aim would be at each other. Just sayin’! XOXOXOXO!!!
Love your post! You are hilarious with all your observations.
I have no sympathy whatsoever for Melania. Check out this video from 2011, when she was interviewed by Joy Behar. Melania and Trump are two peas in a pod. That, or she’s paid plenty to spout the same sort of nonsense as he. Rat bastards, the lot of them, and their GOP cohorts too!!! Blechhhhh!!!!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gBqkLZvJu0c
OMG. That interview. I almost needed a Depends because I was laughing so hard. I garner NO sympathy for her at all. Look–I’m no prude and I find nothing wrong with nudiity. However, the nude photos she posed for were vulgar and bordered on porn. She KNEW what she was getting into when she married him. She made it known in another interview that she was aware of his philandering and she stopped seeing him until he came back and “promised” to stop. She made a Faustian deal and she sows what she reaps.
But Christine. You had me at “rat bastard” ! Are you originally from New York? That is such a brooklyn thing. I LOVE that saying–it reminds me of Renee from Mob Wives!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Oh wow – from over the pond we are holding our breath, I can tell you. Oh no, wait a minute, our sainted Theresa is visiting and we’re all best friends. How low can you get??? And the answer is – and this is the UK today – very!!! OK, this inauguration. What a collection or melange (ha) of dresses! I think the red, white and blue ensemble is just bizarre and so in-your-face bad it’s almost beyond parody! I’ve got a red hat like that which I consider vintage and that with the buttoned coat – such an odd outfit. Sigh. There was such a thing as a class act from the last administration and the wonderful Obamas. But Catherine – you can vote the man out! Hold that thought – it’s some consolation. Please do!!!! xxxxxxxxxxx
Melania MUTTON DRESSED AS LAMB. No first lady dress slits, Jackie Kennedy was in her early 30’s when first lady and Melania 46 re-insert the mutton comment. Ivanka dresses older than she is in order for us to take her more seriously…..seriously America didn’t vote for her. Kellyanne Conway what make me think I knew her… those eyes….Bingo DAISY DUCK! Found you thru the Contessa, This week has made me an angry liberal and I need to vent. Aloha
This post was so truthful and so funny. I found your blog just this evening and appreciated a bit of cheering up as our illustrious (not) leader continues to sign executive order after executive order anytime he isn’t taunting world leaders on the telephone.