I know. I’m late to the party. But the sad truth is, I’ve been sick since Sunday evening with the worst stomach bug of all time. Ugh. I only got to watch some of the Grammy’s because I was in the bathroom most of the night.
The only thing getting cuddled in Chateau Bonaparte was my stomach and the ceramic throne in the bathroom!
Honestly, it felt so good to kneel on the tiled floor and hug the cold ceramic of my toilet bowl when I wasn’t sitting on it. That outta give you an idea of how I spent the past couple of days!
Anyway, I just got back from the doctor. Bonaparte literally forced me to go. I think it was because he was tired of hearing me moan “Ohhhhhh. My stomach. I hope this isn’t serious!”
I mean that literally and figuratively!
Honest to God. The thought of eating is making me more ill than I am, but the good doctor gave me a prescription to ward off the nausea so that I could keep something in my gut. And the only food item I want right now is Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup. It’s been my “sick” comfort food since I was a child.
I’m eating this as I write..
I’m getting off track here.
This is about Grammy. And not my Grammy.
My real-life Grammy. In her wedding dress. Beyonce could have worn my grandmother’s wedding headpiece and would have looked much better!
It’s about the Grammy Awards, which, in my opinion, could very well be the reason I was so sick!
Ugh. I believe that watching E!’s “On the Red Carpet” made me ill from the get go. Kriss Jenner and that dumb butch hairdo of hers! And that dress–it is absolutely awful! Why does Ryan Seacrest insist on having this doyenne of bad taste hosting a red carpet event? Brad Goreski–I’m appalled that you would wear such a hideous jacket. And Kristin Cavallari–one false move and your girls are going to escape big time!
OK—so the music industry has a bit more creativity than, say the film or TV industries. And I guess that’s why people who attend feel as though they have to dress a bit more eccentric or differently.
I get that. I really do. But there is a fine line between dressing differently or more creatively and coming off as looking downright silly. It’s about fit. It’s about what looks good or even great on you.
So, let’s just take a look at some of the fashions I happened to see when I wasn’t in the bathroom!
I had just exited the bathroom and Bonaparte was cleaning my glasses when Beyonce was doing her number. I swear from far away I thought I was watching a Novena to the Blessed Mother. I knelt down before the TV and started chanting “Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee”. Then Bonaparte gave me my glasses and I realized Queen Bee just wanted to look like the old-school Christmas tree toppers we had when we were kids!
Who wore it best? Why the cute little pug on the right! And speaking of JLo…
…she needs to come up with a new signature pose. I’m sick and tired of that dopey “come hither” look her face makes in every single pose. And you may want to change it up from the Angelina Jolie pose. I swear JLo will be a wrinkly 80 year old with lips that sag down to her chest and she’ll still pose with that dopey face!
Shoes notwithstanding, Heidi Klum gets my vote for best dressed. Had two inches been added to the hem, and had she worn silver pointy-toed stilettos with toe cleavage, this would be my favorite red carpet look of all time! I love the simple cut of the dress and I LOVE the length of the sleeves.Her earrings and makeup! She rocked it!
Laverne Cox almost got it right! The dress is a weird length. It should have been shorter. Just at the knees. She has great legs! And the cut-out sides give the dress a very rocker type vibe while still maintaining fashionable taste! Her eye makeup is great too! I love Laverne!
I was born in 1955. In the early to mid-1960’s we practically lived on these Funny Face drinks. That’s probably one of the reasons I lost most of my hair. Anyway, all I could think of when I saw Taraji P. Henson in that getup was Goofy Grape! Henson is cute as a button and she could have gone with something a little edgy without looking ridiculous. The dress doesn’t even fit! The fabric looks sloppy. When will these celebrities ever learn?
Rihanna. RiRi. You are one of the most beautiful women in the world. You can wear just about anything. So then, can you explain just why you put on something that wore YOU? I’ll admit, the black and orange put me in a very sentimental mood for those wax whistles that we used to get at Halloweeen time! That skirt looks like the umbrella you sang about!
I actually loved the simple and streamlined cut of the suit that Chance the Rapper wore. But–did your mother ever tell you it was not proper to wear a hat indoors? Well, I’m telling you now. Get rid of the hat when you are inside a building!!!
I have no idea who this young woman is. But she has my vote as one of the Grammy Best Dressed! Her gown is fresh and youthful and the color is gorgeous on her. In fact, if she was cross-eyed, she would remind me of a young ME! I can’t get enough of this dress! The dropped waist is so flattering! And she’s a bit modest on top without looking fundie! Most of the celebrities at the Grammy’s could take a lesson from her! Absolutely perfect!
Why did Beyonce and Jay Z take their daughter to the Grammy Awards! I KNOW! I KNOW! They didn’t want Solange to be their plus-one at the after parties so by bringing Blue Ivy, they had a great excuse for Solange to babysit! Poor Blue Ivy! Mommy and Daddy should have dressed you in a blue suit..that pink looks like Pepto Bismol! Props to Mr. Carter for the way he looks so lovingly at his daughter! It’s so sweet!
…speaking of Solange…she looked like….
The Golden Ticket from Willie Wonka!
Carrie Underwood needs a new stylist. NOW! It was bad enough she looked like chewed up bubble gum at the Golden Globes, but now she has a dress that not only looks like a newly used tampon, it is an old lady bar mitzvah dress. I don’t even think Joan Rivers would have worn it…
This is red done right! Faith Hill nailed another “Best Dressed”. It is a beautiful shade of red. The lines are simple and even with the little cut out, it was discreet. And the shoes! Oh God–I can’t even! I WANT those shoes! Well done Ms. Hill!
She may be “zuh gret-ess singuhr” but Ms. Dion is far from the greatest dresser. She’s only 48. She’s young. She looks older than me–and I’m old! She needs to wear her hair down and layered to soften her angular structure. The dress. It’s too low-cut for a flat-chested woman. What is WITH these low cut dresses anyway? And while I’m at it–what’s with the ankle strap shoes. Faith Hill is the only one to rock those ankle straps..Celine Dion looks more like a…
…glittery St. Patrick’s Day hat! Save that shade o’ green for March 17th!
I love Adele. And this pea-soup green frock did nothing to enhance her beautiful curves. That waistband makes her titties look supersized and saggy. She needs a princess cut. Slightly fitted. She needs boning in the chest area to hold those ta-ta’s up. The dress is too long–it looks sloppy. Adele was meant for black dresses. She needs a simple dress because that voice of her’s is what draws attention! I”m glad she swept the Grammys!
Chrissy Teigen. No. This isn’t working. SHE is someone who needs to show a bit more skin! But not the way this dress shows it. She looks like an extra from a vampire movie! I’m kind of surprised because she usually gets it right. Her makeup looks horrible too. What happened Chrissy? You better look more like your fashionable self at the Oscars!
I’m guessing Cee Lo was channeling his inner Pussy Galore from Goldfinger. And this one in the middle. Wearing 45’s slogan? WTF? THAT was what really made me sick. Who is this Girl Crush on the far right? That dress! How the hell did she sit down or go to the bathroom? Well, I can honestly say she has more balls than Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan!
What’s with the unbottoned shirt? What’s with the ill-fitting pj bottoms? What’s with the awful sleeves? I think this one was trying to channel her inner…
…..Sick Pense look! Same color of blue. Same lousy fit!
I need to say something about this Tom Ford dress that Katy Perry wore. I KNOW this dress did not get a lot of love. However, if you want to be edgy and different without looking clownish, THIS is the way to do it. Naturally, I have a bit of commentary on this dress. *Sigh* sometimes I wish gay designers would be more in touch with their feminine sides. Why? I’ll show you…
Katy Perry has the best set of Ta-ta’s on earth. In fact, if I ever hit it big in the lottery, I’m taking a photo of her in a low-cut dress to a plastic surgeon. I’m going to tell him that I want HER ta-tas! They are spectacular and they are real! Anyway, back to the dress. I would give her a ballet scooped neckline so that her cleavage would be a focal point. Then I would cut the sleeves to a long short sleeve. Tom–are you listening? Thank you! Might I also add, Katy Perry ALWAYS has THE best made-up face! Her makeup is never less than perfect!
This is NOT good cleavage. At all. Lady Gaga looks like she wore the wrong sized bra and reached up to a top shelf to grab something. Girls–hasn’t that happened to you? You know. You reach for something and your bra rides up in the front? Even for Lady Gaga who can basically get away with anything outrageous, the bottom tit look is just ugly!
Katy Perry sure knows how to show bosom! They are the envy of us all! Even though this suit DID remind me of piano keys!
That’s about it. I ended up falling asleep because I was so violently ill. I couldn’t even make it out of bed yesterday to write this so I know I’m getting much better!
Did you watch the Grammy Awards? Did you have a favorite look? Did you have a look that you thought was just awful. Tell me!!
And…. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!!!
One of my favorite songs about love. John Mayer with Katy Perry “Who You Love”. (I hope they get back together!!!)
Do hope you are feeling better now. Looking on the bright side you have probably lost some weight!
Hi Ruth. I”m starting to feel slightly better now that I FINALLY had some soup!! And I lost a couple of pounds too!! XOXOXOXO
I like your take on Grammy fashion. I was not a fan of the Faith Hill cutout on her dress, I think she is too bony for that look.
And what is with all the cleavage? Do they leave nothing to the imagination anymore?
Hi Tami. Oh that’s funny! Isn’t it amazing how we notice different things? I need to go back and check out Hill’s bones! Yeah. I don’t get all the low cut dresses. In the first place, I would freeze..in the second place, I would not want a malfuncation!!! XOxOXOXO1!!
Hi, Catherine,
Hope you are feeling much better by now. You need to subscribe to: http://www.fda.gov/AboutFDA/ContactFDA/StayInformed/GetEmailUpdates/default.htm?source=govdelivery
and
http://www.foodsafetynews.com/
You will be AMAZED how much bad (and killer) food is out there. Remember, too, that the GOP wants to do away with food safety laws and let the free market monitor its own tainted food products. Did you know it is legal for up to 25% of cattle food to be unsellable candy? http://fortune.com/2017/01/23/farmers-cows-red-skittles/ Isn’t this idea the same way Mad Cow Disease started, with Britain cattle farmers feeding their beef cattle food that is not normally in a grass-eating cow’s diet (like other cows who died of diseases!)? That the “free market” – gotta love it! Remember last year when the honey produced in the south of France was all BLUE, because the honey bees were feeding off discarded blue M&Ms?
As for the Grammys, this was the first time** I have ever watched the Grammys from beginning to end. I thought, WOW, the Oscars could learn a thing or two from the producers of this show. James Corden was fantastic, and I loved that he included his Mom and Dad, who are two of the coolest parents on the planet.
I did not EVEN recognize the beautiful should-stay-a-brunet Katy Perry. She is a perfect brunet: hair, eyes, skin; but just “another” fake blonde.
Dresses: this was definitely a show of breasts and cut-outs and gauzy, flowing, breasty, leggy, apparel. What word describes that? Oh, yes: negligee or négligée, from the French: négligé, literally meaning “neglected”, known in French as déshabillé, is a form of see-through clothing for women. (Wikipedia)
As for Adele’s dress, I agree with your design for her. With her criss-cross Moby Wrap chest style, I kept thinking her baby was going to pop his head out and smile at us.
**I was face-timing the show to my DIL in Asia who loves the Grammys, but can’t get it on TV there.
Hi Vadalia! Thanks for the links! I’m definitely going to check them out and do some research! Our FDA I’m sure is the product of many a greased palm. But that’s another story,
I’m a Brunet Katy Perry fan myself. The blonde just does not suit her. But, I”ve also read that she is a huge fan of wigs so I would not be surprised if the blonde locks were a really expensive wig! I’m really getting tired of the show of breasts with the dresses., It’s getting old. And boring!! Can’t wait for the Oscars!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Oh Catherine I hope you are feeling better. Do you think it was food poisoning? Or that really awful Norwalk virus? I have had both and it’s as if your body is possessed!!!
I can see why the Grammy’s may have caused major gastrointestinal upset though…I am not sure what Queen Bey was up to with the tilting chair, that was just weird. Practicing for childbirth?
The two dresses that stood out to me as just…odd. 1) Mme Céline Dion..that was really ugly! The color wasn’t good on her, the low cut exposing too much of…nothing interesting. She needs to get her skinny fesses back to Montréal for a BIG feast of poutine! This woman has tons o’money and has proven time and time again that she has fabulous taste and style so whaddup? All I can think is she has a bad stylist. That hair… she looked like a Mammie or a Mémère and she has really beautiful hair. Oh well..I heard René used to vet a lot of her ‘on stage’ looks. I miss him.
2) Carrie Underwood. Yep your comment about Baba’s Bar mitzvah dress was correct…or any dress that any Granny would wear to a BIG event. Brutal..I wonder if she and Céline have the same stylist…Granny Clampett? Maybe I am not being very nice but these woman have so much money and access to free designer duds that unless they want to look ‘different’ (Gaga) there is no excuse…(and we all know Gaga can pull off a great look when she wants too) Don’t start me on Adele..I ADORE her but new stylist needed pronto! She always has great makeup/nails though.
Hope your feeling a lot better and rehydrate kiddo if you have been making love to the toilet for long….my lips flaked off for a week after I had that illness, I didn’t realize how dehydrated I was:)
Hi Momcat! When I saw Queen Bey on that chair I couldn’t believe my eyes. Who in their right mind would DO that while pregnant–and with twins. Honestly, I would put my body as my priority rather than the entertainment value That’s so self-absorbed! Oh. I LOVED Rene and was extremely sad when he passed. I think he always steered Celine in the right direction. And I feel the same as you do. With all the money these women have, they can’t find a decent stylist??? Either that or some of these stylists need to be fired!
Adele was wearing a Givenchy and got a lot of love from the “experts” I’m thinking it was because they will praise any well-known designer! She looked horrible! Even her hair bothered me. She has a great head of hair and down, it is gorgeous! But you’re right. Adele’s nails are just as perfect as her makeup!
Ugh. The doctor told me if I didn’t start to eat, I would end up in the ER for an IV to rehydrate. Luckily the medicine I got is keeping everything in and I just had a bit of macaroni. She asked me if I thought it was food poisoning but it wasn’t. I had a similar bug about three years ago so I had an idea that it was the very bad stomach flu that is making the rounds! I still feel the need for sleep though!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I can never understand how all these gorgeous women can be talked into wearing such hideous stuff. I agree with you on all of these ensembles. The neckline (if you can even call it that) cut down to navel level is one of my least favorite looks. It’s been done. We’ve seen it. Can’t it be over? And most of the other outfits are just strange and unflattering. The unbuttoned pajama outfit? How can she even walk around. The woman in the … is it a balloon skirt (?), looks like she’s scheduled for lift-off. Agree totally that Heidi Klum, Faith Hill and the young woman in the grey/lavender dress were by far the best dressed. Poor Adele, who is so lovely … who could have talked her into the green dress? And Rihanna’s top with the semi-revealed tattoo … just not the greatest look. I only caught bits and pieces of the Grammy’s so thanks for the fashion round-up!
Hi Gillian, I’m still amazed at how much love the pea-soup green dress of Adele’s got. It’s hideous! And I’m very tired of that low-cut look. It’s boring and frankly unattractive on most of the women who wear it! It’s crazy!!! XOXOXOO!!!
I didn’t watch much, but did see Faith Hill and Tim McGraw….ooohhh wee .. Love Tim! I thought Faith was gorgeous! I didn’t like J-lo’s lavendar dress; it looked like the flounce at the neckline kept getting in her face! I love your commentary! Hope you are feeling better today.
Hi Donna! Thank you. I’m feeling much better today and went to work. But I’m still not 100%. At least my stomach cramps are gone and that’s a great thing! Ugh. That think on Jlo’s neck looked like a goiter! I don’t know what it is about her, but Jlo bugs the bejeezus outta me!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Oh, Catherine this is wonderful. You had me laughing my butt off! I really thought the Grammy’s were weird. I seriously will skip it next year. I just didn’t get half of it. Beyonce? That was a little ridiculous. Like she is the first Holy mother to give birth. You are spot on in all of your evaluations and suggestions. One exception, I think if the rapper took off his hat he would lose his whole look and the suit would look silly. Anyhow—great post. Love that song too!
Hi Lisa! So many of my friends said the same thing about Beyonce and thinking she is the first holy mother to give birth. I’m a little bit more discreet and think it’s kind of exploitation to use a pregnancy as an entertainment prop. But, those celebrities–it’s all about them! You know, I think you just may be right about Chance the Rapper, if he had taken his hat off the effect would not have been as good. I really loved his suit!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I didn’t watch, I would need to be off my face to manage that. But did get to look at all the lovely photos on the Daily Mail. And what a coincidence we are in complete agreement. Who would have thought that. Heidi Klum looked amazing but dress too short. I liked Katy Perry’s dress and did not recognise her probably because she had hidden her most recognisable assets. Beyonce must have believed she had undergone an immaculate conception, as being mother of the world (or the US),she had evolved into the Blessed Virgin Mary. Ditto every other comment. You are a great talent. Academy Awards soon and cannot wait for the commentary.
Hi Yvonne! Oh. The Daily Mail is my favorite online rag! But wasn’t Klum’s dress so perfect? LOL. I do not like when Katy Perry hides those girls of hers. They should always be on display!! Yeah. Beyonce’s headdress also reminded me of Benediction and when the priests would take that “special” host out of the altar and display it for all to see! Oh the Oscar commentary will follow!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Catherine, you hit the nail on the head!!!! I totally agreed with you!!!!!
Please feel better soon!!!! Keep eating that chicken soup….
Thanks Susan! I’m already feeling a bit better. I had plain spaghetti with a bit of butter for dinner. It turned Bonaparte’s stomach but when I’m sick–that’s the way I roll!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Hey Catherine–
First, I hope you are feeling better. Stomach flu is no fun. Neither is food poisoning. You should not have to punish the porcelain in any case. You have better things to do. So shape up! And be sure to hit the fluids–you do not want to be dehydrated. Electrolytes.
Second, thanks for taking one for the team–and by that, I mean watching the Grammy’s for everyone. I’m a snob about awards shows–I’ll only watch the Oscars, the Emmys and the Tony’s because I don’t listen much to music of any kind and i don’t think the others are “legit,” but I do love to see the fashion coverage in the mags or online the next day. And I get a kick out of your ideas because much of what you say is exactly what I’m thinking.
So I did see clips of Adele, and everyone on this site is right–that pea green dress did her no favors. Glad she got the Grammy’s because she wouldn’t get the love from the fashionistas. You’re right–the dress should’ve been shorter. Your comments about the other outfits were spot on.
Third, I am the same age as you, and have to say that one of the things I most enjoy about your blog is the trip down memory lane–Funny Face drinks–OMG! Goofy Grape was so bad it was good.
I think that accounts for the death of so many brain cells that I could never do math. At least that’s how I see it.
Thanks for the coverage–I think we should plant you next to the “regulars” at the red carpet and let you call them as you see them, Now THAT would be a breath of fresh air!
Nancy! YES!!! Goofy Grape WAS so bad that it was good! I think between the Funny Face drinks, Hi-C, and my personal favorite, Hawaiian Punch, many of our brain cells were evaporated! Oh, I would LOVE to be on the red carpet because I would ask questions that nobody else would dare to ask!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I so agree with this post. These people have so much money – why? Adele – no, so unflattering! That lovely unknown girl in that sweet off-white dress is definitely the best dressed person there. Thanks so much for this as I haven’t seen anything else on the Grammy fashions as detailed as this – great post! xxxxxx
And very very sorry to hear you’ve been so unwell – must be the noro-virus – just awful. Get better soon xxxxx
Hi Penny. Ugh. That dress on Adele. What stylist in their right mind would put that woman in such an awful frock. Adele’s stylist needs to be fired But that young girl. That dress was one of the most beautiful gowns I’ve ever seen.
Yeah. The doctor said that a very strong stomach virus/flu was going around. It’s a killer!! I hope you avoid it!! XOXOXO!!!
Spot on Catherine…I laughed out loud at your Christmas Tree Topper comment…we had that same tree topper when I was a kid…made me laugh even more. Feel better…the creepy crud is swirling around everywhere.
Jeanne. WAIT! That topper. Those fiberglass threads were killers if you were walking around barefoot and stepped on one! I think those toppers are no longer produced and if they are, I’m sure they use a different thread. I could not stop laughing when I saw her in the get up!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Yup…I guess early 1950s before we knew stuff. 🙂
I have to agree with you. The gray and lavender dress was really different and young, and I always like the way Heidi dresses. The rest of them looked like they just had their outfits made on the Unconventional Challenge episode of Project Runway. Thought the whole thing was pretty tasteless.
Hi Lady Calen. You got that right! The Grammy Awards are always the most tasteless of the awards because everyone tries too hard to look different! LOL. I like your train of thought with the Unconventional Challenge! Heidi always gets it right!!! XOXOXOX!!!
I thought the fashion was horrendous at the Grammys this year. What the heck. Adele’s dress looked like a potholder in the bodice and she looked like a battle princess. All the dresses the rest of the websites gushed over, I was like – I don’t see it. I am in total agreement, the girl whose name we don’t know was probably the best dressed. The rest of the outfits absolutely sucked. I didn’t really even like Heidi Klum’s, it was too short, too simple, she would have done better to have one of her Project Runway contestants design something for her. I was truly disappointed. If I were them, I would be demanding a refund from my stylist.
Catherine, you are a hoot! I dont’ watch the shows, but we always see the news feed after, so some of the outfits were already out there. Love your commentary! Thanks for sharing. – Amy
http://stylingrannymama.com/
You are a wonderful writer. This is the first time I came to your blog and it’s awesome!!!
Exploring more on your blog! <3
Love your Grammy fashions. Poor Celine D, she looks older than me!! Some of these look truly dreadful, all that money, I don’t get it.
oh I meant to add, hope your feeling much better now 🙂
Great post, hun! You are a great writer. And I love the unknown woman’s dress, too! So beautiful and chic.
If you want to see some fabulous outfit pairings and fashion show reviews, you should click this link to my blog, view and come and follow me:
https://jessiesthreads.wordpress.com/
It is like a non-stop fashiom award ceremony! Fabulous!!
Thank you Jessie! I’m so glad that you added a link to your blog. I already took a peek and am in love with the clay version of my adorable Grace Coddington. I am not a Wintour fan because she cheapened Vogue when she put Kardashian/West on the cover. I haven’t read Vogue since then. But I do have a beautiful hand-written note from Coddington. I wrote to her to tell her that her editorial visions reminded me of my better half’s grandfather, Jacques Henri Lartigue’s photographs. She was shocked because she actually collects his photos. It was a great moment!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Awww, thanks hun! You are so sweet. Yeah, Vogue is not quite as good as it used to be. I really love V magazine, though! So cool and edgy. Grace Coddington has a coffee table memoir book, by the way. It is awesome!