It started with a cuppa tea. While I was preparing dinner last night, I wanted to ward off snacking so I put the kettle on. Now, I realize that not everyone takes milk in their tea. I do. And when I went to the fridge to take out the small amount of milk that was in the carton, I noticed the expiration date was three weeks ago.
Who woulda thunk that a cuppa tea was the inspiration for a blog post–not about tea!! Like my grandmother and mother before me, I keep the kettle on the stove at all times. It is never put away. I think my daughter Oona does the same thing!
That didn’t stop me. But the disagreeable odor that emanated as I opened the bottle did.
Then I realized I had a carton of Almond Milk in the fridge. Back I went. And I checked the expiration date. With an expiration date of June 24, 2017, it came to me that Almond Milk is now my best friend. This carton will be here waiting for me when I get back from France in July! OK?
Almond Milk sure has a long shelf life! I’m lovin’ this more by the expiration date!
I checked the yeast in the fridge. I bake a lot of bread. The last tthingI need is for the bread I bake for Bonaparte to fall flat. It is a Frenchmen’s crime and I could, quite possibly, be jailed like Marie Antoinette. Thank God, the guillotine is no longer used!
I’m safe with the bread baking for now too. Besides, there isn’t much left. I bake a lot of bread!
Then another thought popped into my head. My cosmetics. I knew there were charts somewhere out in cyberland to warn me when to trash my makeup.
Thank you Makeup.com–but I’m very naughty and pay no attention to this chart!
Here’s the thing. I have a lot of makeup. There is the makeup that I use on a regular basis. Those items will never expire.
A sampling of the cosmetics hanging in a jewelry holder over a closet door. I’ll bet half of this stuff is expired!
Then there’s the stuff that I hardly wear. There is also the stuff I purchased that was a mistake—but since I spent money, I refuse to trash the stuff. Then there’s all the backup makeup I have. The stuff I have forgotten about.
Two of my favorite palettes. The top is Urban Decay’s Naked 2. The bottom is Stila’s In The Know. If I was in the know about the fact Stila discontinued this palette I would have purchased a second to use past the expiration date. Both palettes are expired. It isn’t stopping me from using them. Look how much I hit pan on both of these!
I’m sure that all the cosmetics and skin care products that I have stashed away expired a long time ago. And I’m holding on to them.
This inexpensive bronzer, Ticket to Brazil by Wet n Wild, is the best powdered bronzer of all time. It expired in September. So did my unopened backup. I don’t care. I’m still gonna use it!
How can bacteria get into a package that literally takes a knife, a scissor and a ton of elbow grease and some very naughty language meant for the cosmetics companies that package this stuff?
This is the packaging from the elf Lemonade Pink blush stick that is now discontinued. I purchased it over a year ago. It is also expired. Doesn’t matter because I couldn’t even get the packaging opened with a nuclear weapon!
Better yet, how ironic is it that my cosmetics expire and the Easter candy is on display the day after Valentine’s Day. And I can bet the candy companies recycle that shit on a regular basis without nary a thought of an expiration date!
Candy Conspiracy: I’ll bet the candy companies collect all the unsold holiday chocolate, melt it down and recycle it for the next holiday! Their way of getting around the expiration dates!
Am I right or what?
Mascara usually lasts me three weeks per tube because I love thick, clumpy lashes. Yes! I said it. I love when mascara clumps. It makes my eyelashes look lush. I pack that glop on my lashes like spackle. And when I near the end of a tube, I spit into it to keep the product moist. Hey. It’s my spit and I’m pretty much germ-free!
The back of one of the MANY tubes of Maybelline The Falsies mascara that are unopened. This one could go unopened until 2020!
Eyeliner—I’ve had some liquids for over a year. I’ve had some that were so awful I’ve thrown them out after three applications. And that hurts because I hate wasting money. Luckily, I buy inexpensive eyeliner. And trust me, some of the eyeliners I’ve had to trash were over ten bucks!
Eye pencils. The one eye pencil I cannot live without is the Urban Decay 24/7. I would say perhaps I purchase two a year—around every six months.
Blush. I hold onto this for years. Although I do have an elf stick that has expired. No big deal to me. It was discontinued. The blush stick is ensconced in the original packaging. Therefore, in my world, there is no expiration date!
To the left is the Lemonade Pink blush stick that is long expired. In the middle is the Stila blush that I purchased over two years ago. It expired six months after I purchased it. Wait! What if I purchased that same blush today? See–the expiration dates don’t mean anything!
My next epiphany clicked when I reviewed what I wore this past week. My clothes have no expiration date. Really. They don’t. If something isn’t in style, I’ll wear it anyway. I stick to the plain and simple.
Here’s what I wore this week tha, style-wise, didn’t expire.
On Monday I wore a linen blend skirt with a simple white shell, a denim jacket and ballet flats. None of which have gone out of style or expired!
Plaid shirts never expire–neither does a basic black pencil skirt or pointy-toed black heels!
Wednesday had me wearing a striped skirt from Old Navy that is years old. YEARS old! In a rare fashion moment, Bonaparte modeled his striped socks for my stripes theme!
Stripes continued on Thursday. Although I will admit. Lilly Pulitzer did expire the wonderful Travel Pants I wore. I guess the Preppy Princesses couldn’t deal with the fact Lilly Pulitzer actually had a black item within the bright colors. That’s fabric racist! Well, I won’t expire these great pants! Alas, my refill of Fleur d’Oranger DID expire and turned into pure alcohol. Can’t win ’em all. At least I had a backup that wasn’t expired!
Friday was jeans, ballet flats and a Lobster sweater from J. Crew Factory. Critter clothing never expires!
Yesterday was a blend of old and new–the flattering striped shirt I wrote about the other day, a new ruffled blazer from J. Crew, jeans and Converse sneakers. Converse sneakers will NEVER expire!
OK –I’m sticking this in here for good measure. I went to J. Crew Factory yesterday to return a pair of shorts that I was on the fence about. I saw this dress on a hanger and thought “Meh”–but I tried it on anyway. I LOVE IT and bought it. Why? It reminds me of the old-school house dresses that my mother wore in the 1960’s. Yes. Sentimental value NEVER expires! This dress is comfortable AF and brings back nice memories!
Hold on. This is for the menz! I got Bonaparte to pose in his new jeans. His first pair of jeans from J. Crew Factory and the fit is incredible–that nice slim European fit. Jeans have no expiration date!
Last of all, the dress I’m wearing today! This is about five years old, I think. Banana Republic. I’ve worn this through heavier years and leaner years. Look at the difference between now and last summer!
I had to exhibit some serious tummy sucking-in last year. Thankfully the dress has some stretch. But the dress hasn’t expired!
What say you? ( I know. That expression drives many people crazy–but it is an expression
that hasn’t expired!) Do you throw your cosmetics out after the expiration date? What about your food items? And lastly—do your clothes expire?
In honor of Phase One of the French elections, I’m playing a song with, in my opinion, has no expiration date. Jacques Dutronc “Mini, Mini, Mini”
Throw away makeup? Surely you jest? Lol. Never, I’ve invested far, far too much money in my makeup collection! As for food, I recently learned that eggs are actually good for at least 3 weeks after the date. Now milk, I do dump at the date because it sours so quickly…sometimes even before the date. Cookies, cakes and bread only get tossed once they are stale. As for clothes, I keep what I love and wear it, trends be damned!
Lori. I’m so glad we think alike! Eggs don’t last that long in Chateau Bonaparte because we eat a ton of them. LOL. I’ve actually placed stale cookies in the microwave to unstale them! Yes. I’m THAT bad!! But the makeup thing is crazy. I think it is a conspiracy for the cosmetics industry to make more money!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Love that checkered dress on you!
And I agree too on expiration dates – I trust my nose more than the printed dates. Note that (lightly) sour milk makes the best pancakes – after all, its basically buttermilk 🙂
Hi Marie. Thanks! I love the dress so much I suggested to my daughter that she buy one. We’ll see on that one! OMG. I never realized that sour milk is basically buttermilk. Now I’ll never throw out expired milk. I’ll just use it in cake batter! (Buttermilk also makes a great cake!) XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!!
In Pennsylvania anyway, milk is supposed to last a week past the date on the carton, which is actually the sell-by date. We have been buying organic milk lately, and while it is more expensive, it lasts for months, not days! I find yogurt and sour cream also last well past the date on the carton. I do have a good sniffer though, so I taste and sniff it just to make sure
Kewlmom! I never knew that tidbit about PA milk. And I never knew about the organic milk either. Looks like I’ll be buying Organic milk in the future!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I grew up around the old Pyrex glass coffee pots and have had one parked on my stovetop for years, only to boil water for tea. When my daughter moved into her dorm she wanted one, so the tradition continues around here too. Oh yes I use “expired” cosmetics also, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t, never had a bad reaction I think because I try to keep the applicators clean. With food, for dairy I’ll go about a week after the expiration date, I’ll go about a year after with canned goods, and let my nose decide everything else. I’ve also frozen just about everything and save a lot of money that way too. The majority of my clothes are classic styles, so I only end up getting rid of pieces that I “outgrow”, lol. Kudos to Bonaparte for modeling the new jeans, they look great! My husband could use a new pair too, my daughter screams “Those jeans are so bad, dad, I can’t even look at you!”. I’ve left him to his own resources for long enough and will have to drag him to JCF one of these days. Thanks for the tip!
Margaret. I remember those old Pyrex coffee pots! I’m also glad to see you have a tea tradition in your family too. And that you don’t pay much attention to those expiration dates!! Oh Bonaparte is already mortified by the photo. He came running downstairs to “remind” me I promised I would not show his face! Oops!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
I throw refrigerated food away a week after it’s been cooked or past the expiration date.
However, I tend to keep cake mixes for 10 years, then wonder why they turn out flat.
My clothes stick around waiting for me to wear them again.
I have a closet called, “The closet that Time forgot”! My next blog, just FYI!
Have a great day my funny friend!
Hahahaha! Robin. Cake Mixes for ten years. I love you!! I also love the fact you have a closet that time forgot. I’m waiting with bated breath to read that post!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
Pffffft expiry dates????! Only certain things – not make up, I mean seriously. As for food – it depends – is the jar lid or the tin bulging? that means bad gas from bad bugs so toss it, otherwise nope we shove right back in the cupboard (my rule of thumb – if in doubt I “try it on Trev” – the husband, he is impervious to anything and everything – after 28 years of marriage he has ecologically adapted I guess and is my guinea pig before I’d even contemplate trying anything myself, I figure this is only fair as he is the family tightwad/money-grinch), as for milk or milk products – have people ever heard of cultured milk products (er you know – cheese, yoghurt???) if the milk is getting a little towards the older end or things add lemon and make it sour for cooking and stuff, we’d toss if it was growing fur or changing colour and skimmed milk (for tea) lasts for eons more than full milk… But seriously there are use by dates and sell by dates and any other dates used by industry, what the heck did our mums do when they canned, bottled, preserved and had no one to tell them??? Oh I know – they used their common sense.
That check dress is gorgeous
Tell Bonaparte I LOVE getting to see him, face included. Such a handsome Frenchman he is! And I love his new slim fit 👖. So far, I have only been able to get my husband out of relaxed jeans into slimmer cut ones. It would be a battle to get him into skinny jeans, even though he has a body that would look good in them, even at 70 years of age.
I love that Bonaparte shared his striped socks to today’s post. 🙂
Please keep slipping pictures of Bonaparte in occasionally. I love seeing him, as well as hearing about the things you do together.
Anne
Hi Anne. Oh boy! Bonaparte will get a huge head after I tell him what a handsome man you said he is! But it’s fun to have his pics in the blog every now and then and I think I WILL sneak pics of him into the blog!!! Thank you for the great suggestion! XOXOXOXO!!!
I forgot to add I have done a clothing and make up cull since embracing my new hair colour – only because certain colours I could almost get away with now have no chance of working on me.
I recently threw out a Clinique eyeshadow that I bought in the States when I was a Flight Attendant…I hung up my ‘wings’ in 1999 so that makes it at least 17 years old and I only threw it because I never wear it now, not because I’m worried about germs… obvs! I use skimmed milk and that seems to last way after the expiration date, same with yoghourts, I use my nose and common sense.
Love your denim and gingham frocks and I’m so happy to see French music on your blog (and Bonaparte’s face!) I googled France Gall last night (Comment Lui Dire) which evoked memories from French teenage holidays.
The polls were wrong, Le Pen made it through, I wasn’t surprised after the shocks of Brexit and Trump. I’ll be in France for the election…very exciting. x
Hi Fiona! BTW. I love your blog!! I’m following–that stitching and bitching line made me laugh so hard! I would have probably held onto the Clinique shadow and called it “vintage” makeup!! Yeah. I noticed that skim milk seems to last a bit longer too!
OH. OHHHHHH. Fiona!! I LOVE French pop. Michel Polnareff is my dream man! I wrote a post about French Pop Music: Transforming Bonaparte into a French Pop Music Fan I hope the link worked! I have a 2-CD set of France Gall’s greatest hits!
Oh man, if Fillon didn’t have the scandal of his family working for lots of money and doing nothing or the suit scandal, LePen would have been out of the running. She’s disgusting. The female version of Trump. It doesn’t look good!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Just a shout out for your new blue jacket with the ruffle trim. I love it! Wish it was mine. You will get so much wear out of that jacket since it is a nice neutral blue and versatile (kind of like wearing a jean jacket but much nicer.) You can wear it dressed up or casual. And, it will never expire! Hope to see it a lot in your weekly wardrobe 👚👖👠 posts! 🙂
Anne
Hi Anne. You know, when I purchased that blazer, I really liked it. Then I came home and after a couple of weeks I wasn’t sure–but after wearing it this weekend, I can honestly say that I am in love with that jacket! I’m glad you like it. Keep checking J. Crew’s website out for sales–I got it 30% off!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Glad you re-liked that jacket. I sure do! 🙂
You know, I did finally learn to throw out bread. I found out that even if the VERY LAST PIECE halfway down the bag has just a LITTLE bit of green mold on it, the spores can be all through the bread. That did it for me! I’m religious about it now.
Oh Lady Calen! Bread goes bad so quickly! I usually freeze it. Although I had a little bread mishap last night. I took out what I thought was a regular pullman loaf that I made. We toast the slices when we have rillettes. Anyway, Bonaparte mentioned that the texture of the bread was much different and it was more delicate than usual. Um—it was a Brioche loaf. Oops!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!