Last week I wrote a blog post based around the language that the president of these United States used. Here’s a link to the post in case you didn’t see it: I Am A Shitholer
This wasn’t written as a “political” post. It was merely written because the language used was horrible language for a president to use. He used this language to describe countries and a continent. And it seems that we are normalizing this vile behavior.
Really??? A World Leader using that kind of vocab? Not cool. Not cool at all.
My post also went on to discuss immigrants and how we can all trace our roots back to countries that could be described, at one time or another, as the word the president used.
My immigrant grandmother. Now SHE was the epitome of fierce and empowerment!!
I shared the post I wrote on a “women’s” Facebook Group that I belong to. It is a group where bloggers and non-bloggers can “meet” and “discuss”. This group pontificates being “Fierce” and that “Women need to have a voice” and the group is all about empowerment. It is also targeted for the mature woman—the “over 40” woman.
My post was deleted—it offended a few “members”-two of whom aren’t even bloggers.
Now—before I go any further with this post, I want it to be known that the creator of the group was very supportive of my post. She “got” it. She realized that the post was, in fact, about the language the president used.
And a few of the members were also supportive of my blog post. However, the ones that weren’t really started to throw some major snark toward me.
Yes. You DO fight–especially when someone speaks up about important issues!
Rather than take the liberty of just scrolling past my post, they took it upon themselves to throw shade and name call. Among the names I was called were “liberal”, “racist” and I was told that I was basically a “white woman pandering to non-whites”. When I shot back, I was labeled “mean spirited”. Seriously. To name call is bad—but to call me a “liberal” is off-the-charts nasty. I’m a humanist!
A short time later I received a phone call from the creator of this group to let me know that my post was deleted. She explained that although she understood where my post was coming from, the administrators of the group wanted the post off—because political and religious posts should not be discussed in the group. Mind you now, others turned this language-based post into a political one. Not me.
And to tell you the truth, I thought it was very kind of her to call me. She didn’t have to do that. And I truly believe she felt bad taking the post down. She’s a very nice woman.
After mulling it over, a few days later, I decided to leave the group. I did it in a silent manner. I didn’t go onto the Facebook page and act all victimized and hurt and trauma-ridden with “I’m leaving, I’m done, blah, blah, blah….”. I merely clicked “unjoin” or “unfollow”—whatever it is. And went on my merry way!
Thankfully there was no door to hit me on the way out!!!
That group gave me the opportunity to meet a handful of women bloggers who are great writers and I continue to enjoy their blogs—they brighten my day. But it would be unethical for me, and I would not be true to my beliefs, if I stayed in a group that refers to themselves as “fierce” and “having a voice” if that real voice cannot be said or heard. Ain’t my thing.
And this whole incident made me think—do women really want empowerment? Do they really want a voice? Do they want to discuss harsh words that a president uses? Do they care about others—or do they only pretend to care? Do they only want the smoke and mirrors and the illusion of a perfect lifestyle and perfection all the way around?
..if you don’t talk about makeup and fashion!
And that’s what it’s all about. Women can be empowered only if other women decide it’s okay and how they can be empowered. We women are our own worst enemies and the mean girls grow into mean women!
Red heels and stilettos are empowering.
These are my red empowerment shoes.
Women who discuss politics are not empowering.
My political icon Rachel Maddow. She speaks her mind–but will women like high school Rachel better than the Rachel of today? I mean–will they find high school Rachel more fierce? I like short-haired Rachel!
Makeup is fierce.
Hey–with my face all made up and my fake hair. I. Am. Fierce.
To speak your mind is not fierce.
This is Frances Farmer. She was a very liberal and outspoken actor. She spoke her mind. She empowered herself and was lobotomized.
Those who follow this blog know that I speak my mind. You know what I’m passionate about. You also are well-aware that I live for my fake hair, my fake tan, my love of makeup and pointy-toed, cleavage-baring heels. You also know that if J. Crew was a real person, I would be married to him—in my dreams.
A fierce woman can never have enough fake hair…
..or fake tan–even if it’s applied badly!
I also love my overabundance of clothes and love to share my style tips with you. It’s a lot of fun!
Hey…check out my style! I’m the empowering style icon!
Hey Girl! Don’t go away!! I’ll even tell you what bra to buy! Now THAT’s fierce!
My home is my castle—and it isn’t grandiose, nor is it ridiculously huge—it’s the empty-nest chateau that my Frenchman and I built together. And I love sharing my home with you.
Come–sit down and we’ll discuss important things. Like can I wear pink with red?
My travels? I’m blessed and damned lucky. Going to France with Bonaparte is always a fun adventure.
My favorite little alcove in Antibes! I love the casual life!!
I’m a happy little clam when my grown kids come home to visit! I still relish in being “mom”!!!
Our infamous Philly Cheese steak competition..
That’s right. I’m the cool mom! I’m out standing in my field!
As I write this, I’ve got two pound cakes in the oven for my husband’s pleasure. And when those cakes are baked, I’ll be making gougeres to put away in the freezer so we can enjoy them on the weekends with our aperitifs. My cooking skills are fierce!
One cake for the rest of this week. One is now in the freezer for next week! I can’t have any because I’m still TRYING to be good and eat healthier!
I don’t need a group to validate my fierceness or empowerment. I can empower myself. I can be free to speak my mind–about any issues while still retaining my most feminine self! And, I don’t need to answer to anyone but me!
I want to thank each and every one of you who enjoy my voice. Sometimes you disagree with me—and that’s fine because you never punch below the belt.
Here’s a vase of flowers to thank you for always allowing me to speak my mind!
In this little community of Atypical60, we always agree to disagree. We keep our differences kind and respectful. I’ve even had readers reach out to me via e-mail to tell me I went too far—and in the end, we iron it all out.
So that’s about it for my little rant. I love my blog—its my baby! I love you. I try to keep things light—but every now and then, I’ll get a bit passionate about certain subjects and certain people. It’s because I have a voice—and so do you!!
But lately, I’m wondering just what do women want? Especially the mature woman. They claim empowerment and fierceness and speak of having your own voice–but sadly, that isn’t true. I suppose the mature woman is as deeply shallow as her younger counterparts!
Let me go—I’m working on a very important blog post about putting my face on!!! I think you’ll love it!!
In the meantime, here’s a little song from way back. Do you remember the song “Make Your Own Kind of Music” by the fierce and empowering Cass Elliot? Well, I do—and I’ll keep marching to the beat of my own drum and I hope you do too!!!
Thank you for your support and for being a part of this blog!! XXOXOXO!!!
I feel what you feel. I’m here with you.
I love my lipstick and heels, but I also love talking about things that are socially conscious and politically important. I intend to do a full post about the new Tarte Shape Tape foundation, because these are conversations that we need to have. We need to be really uncomfortable with how things are going currently.
I really enjoyed your Shitholer post, and I’m always happy to see bloggers lay down the law, at any capacity, no matter what their blog content generally consists of.
I’m a beauty blogger, but that doesn’t mean I’m a politically and socially unaware buffoon.
Hi Zo. Exactly!!! I’m working on a “get ready with me” post and its one of the most fun posts I’ve done because I got to really pay attention to how I do my face in the morning. But that doesn’t mean, we as women, can’t voice any political or social issue? Sometimes I feel as though we are regressing. This “group” consists mainly of women over 40–and they really are more like high school girls if they are so easily offended by any post about social, political, or world issues. Man–it’s just so awful when you think about it!! If a group of women don’t want to discuss issues then they should not refer to themselves as fierce.
Thanks so much for the comment–I really appreciate it!!! XOXOXO!!!!
I LOVE THAT YOU TALK DIRTY ABOUT THAT SHITHOLD IDIOT!!!!!!!
KEEP IT UP!!!!!!
IF AMERICA doesNOT DO SOMETHING SOON NO ONE WILL BE AROUND TO ARGUE!!!!!!!
WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!!!!!
HE IS NOT FIT TO BE PRESIDENT!
He cannot even SPEAK.
He looked right at the ECLIPSE with his eyes and NO PROTECTION!
He had SEX when he was MARRIED for the 4th TIME????AND PAID HER OFF!!!!!!
His DOCTOR cannot EVEN SPEAK…….”YOU KNOW YOU KNOW YOU KNOW!!”Was in every sentence!!!!!!
I was NAILED for that line in my sentences in the 5TH GRADE!!!!!!!!!!
PLEASE OPRAH……..RUN FOR PRESIDENT!
PLEASE CATHERINE KEEP PONTIFICATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
XOXOXOXO
Thank you Elizabeth!!! What’s worse–is that he told that porn star she reminded him of his daughter Ivanka. I saw the headlines on the news while at the supermarket. I almost threw up. Ohhhh…the doctor who examined him must have done so with a toy doctor kit. And yes, I will keep on pontificating!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Sad isnt it, the sisterhood doesn’t extend to all women, and even sadder is the fact that women our age/s havent wised up and learnt a little disagreement amongst each other is fine but really respect and reaching out to understand differing points of view empowers. Shutting people down by ganging up is not courageous but sad and pathetic so I feel really sorry for what you experienced – these women demean and disempower themselves by their actions. Namecalling – schoolground nonsense, they could reason or argue with logic and clear thinking? Well, there – that tells you everything. Women can be the worst – we have a newish male boss after having had a female boss on a floor of female bosses – guess what!? The whole work place is so much nicer and more respectful, yep – SO MUCH NICER. We are our own worst enemies and why – it doesnt get us anywhere or at least anywhere I would want to be
p.s I love the shallow and fluffy end of life – make up, shoes, fashion – in these crap times we NEED it!
Oh..I live for the shallow stuff—but that isn’t all–there’s so much more. Social issues, politics…helping others…and might I add that while helping others I would definitely be the best tressed!!!! XOXOXOXO
Hi Juliet. It IS sad. Jesus–I remember in high school the debate club always handled such serious social issues in such a respectful way. WTF has happened to us as a society? Nobody can have a serious conversation anymore without being “offended”. I’m offended by Trump but I gotta deal with it for now. It’s crazy and I’ll tell you, in the blogging world, a number of the older women are just as unethical in their practices as the younger ones. Women will eventually ruin it for themselves.
Oh…I’ve worked for men–and I’ve worked for women–and I’ll take working for a man any day. Any. Day! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
I loved Cass Elliot. Love this post. Just sayin’
Thank you Sue!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!
Hear bloody hear!!!! I love how you can see there is no difference between speaking about politics or recommending red shoes. It’s all about the freedom to make choices and if you want to talk in a forum specifically designed to give a voice to strong women then you should!! It saddens me how women can be their own worst enemy sometimes. Loved the honesty and fierceness of this post x
Thank you Middle! What is the difference? It’s a voice! Women worked so hard to get the vote–to wear pants to work for crying out loud. And now a woman can’t be free to speak about important issues? It really is sickening. I’m very happy that you are diggin’ my honesty here. It wasn’t an easy post to write. But it’s been on my mind since it happened!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
You go, girl 💪💪
Thanks Amanda!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
You go girl!!! I love your blog. I don’t have to agree on everything. I have a mind of my own and I enjoy using it. Linda
Thank you so much Linda!!! Exactly–we don’t have to agree on everything and a healthy debate is always welcomed. Thank you so much!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
You are fierce and fiercely funny and fiercely informative and fiercely generous and fiercely real. You may not be in NYC now with the Chico brand ambassadors, but big deal. Your sharing of fashion, wigs, travel, and just plain old living is far more interesting and informative than seeing what is in the Chico’s gift bag. Keep on keeping it real.
Thank you Marsha!! It’s true. I’m the best gift bag I know!!! LOL!!! I will keep on keeping it real!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
First, you keep doing you! Your voice matters, even if we disagree. And it matters no matter what the subject is. Second, that post was passionate about people, including your people. Third, everything can be political and I’m sick of that phrase being thrown around as an insult or taboo. Fourth, I’m so glad you posted this tonight. Women are often their own worst enemy, and yes, far too many get up in arms and nasty about trivial things instead of putting that effort into something larger. Finally, I’m going to add my own to this…have you seen the ridiculous outcry over the new Tarte foundation release and its limited shade range? It’s the same shade range they always use, yet females are foaming at the mouth over it. Is that really worth all the nasty negativity? No, it’s not. That type of outcry belongs to families being separated and children being uninsured! Ok, off my soap box now. Love ya Cathe, keep speaking your mind and heart! Xoxo
Lori! Thank you. If we all agreed on everything, life would be boring!! Oh..I’m fed up with everything being “political” and all the “offense” and I’m tired of all those who name call moderates as “liberals” if they don’t agree with the guy in the white house. Shows how uncreative they are.
Ohhhh..noo. and NOW I know what ZoBeautie meant when she said she was going to do a post about that Tarte stuff because people needed to read about it. I can just imagine. Most foundations have a limited shade range. Oh god.
So true–why aren’t these “fierce” and “empowering” women expressing concern about the children with no health insurance? I’m sure the government shutdown doesn’t have anything to do with them because they all have CEO husbands. Lori–you know I’ll always speak my mind. Always have. Always will!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
And these are all the things I admire about you, Catherine. I love your fierce, no holds barred attitude! Keep on and whatever you do—do not edit yourself in fashion, politics, or beauty.
Hey Lisa! Oh girlfriend, you know I’m not editing myself in anything! I march to the beat of my own drum!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
I think you are fantastic!
Thank you Momo!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
You are one tough woman but your heart of gold always shines through…you have such a generous nature but you’re not afraid to tell it like it is. This is why I follow you and why I continue to do so…always remember we are not elderly we are elders which means we are the keepers of wisdom…🤓
Awww..Liz–thank you. I always try to be a nice person. Sometimes I’m a little on that edge but ultimately, I try my best to be a good girl–err, elder!!!!! Thank you–and I hope you continue to keep hanging with me!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Hey you sister……..love you! I’m sorry you had this experience……..I too have had a group of women behave in ways that weren’t in keeping with what the group was supposed to be about. I too left the group as I realized these were not my people.
At 66 yo……this IS the time to own our voices, speak our minds, and perhaps gently tell others to go fuck themselves.
Not sure what anyone else wants. I want authenticity( which I see in you Catherine), respect, open dialogue without judgement. If we can’t listen and hear one another……we are in trouble.
I like it all…….politics, fashion,lipstick…….but I’m not afraid to show the face God gave me with or without makeup. I’m not afraid to speak my mind or have an opinion.
I was attracted to your blog because of your exact fire, honest, courageous telling it like it is.
Don’t change a thing to accommodate women who want you to be quiet, more lady like as you sip tea and all agree with one another instead of having an opinion.
Don’t get me started….
Chris D
OMG. Thank you so much Chris! Oh..I’m not accommodating anyone but myself. The longer I’m blogging, the more I’m finding out that most of this is a facade—an illusion of “…and you can be like me if you click the link and purchase” Yo. I got a review you know damn well that I’m using that stuff for a good month or so before I give my opinion. And what I wear–I actually spend my money on. I try my best to put depth into my posts. I’m fake enough with the hair and tan and nails–but my soul and spirit are real!!!
But seriously–look how long it took women to get a voice–and women want to silence other women. It’s astounding. And don’t even get me started on the women who didn’t even bother to vote for president because they didn’t “like” either candidate. Voting for a leader isn’t about “liking” it’s about making a decision to see who the better person for the job is–and women want equality in the workforce but many chose not to vote because they didn’t “like” Hillary. I don’t exactly “like” Hillary, but she was better qualified for the job that that fat slob who got it with the help of the Russians… What. Is. Wrong. With. Women?
Thanks again Christine. I need to go watch the political news so my blood pressure can rise..LOL!!! XXOXOXOXO!!!
Great comment Christine
I’m saddened and disappointed to hear what happened to you but not really surprised. It seems that nowadays so many people cannot cope with an alternative viewpoint. I’m so tired of hearing various groups saying they have been offended. What has happended to free speech, agreeing to disagree and respecting that there are different opinions to your own in the world? Those women sound like a bunch of third formers.
I admire your honesty, integrity and ferocity!!!
Xxx
Fiona, My computer is being wonky. I thought I replied to this on my iPhone. There is no such thing as free speech anymore. Everyone seems to be “offended” by everything these days. Offended is so overused and meaningless and the do-gooders have ruined it with their self-righteousness. People cannot simply disagree anymore without being labeled “haters” or “snowflakes” WTF is that anyway? It’s more of the dumbing down of society. Thank you so much for your support on this girlfriend!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Catherine you make my day. I love your blog, your honesty and your humanity. 👏 👏 👏
Thank you Anna!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Catherine, I really enjoy reading your blog. “A day in the life. . .” is fun and brave and fierce and you’re just damn cute. If we women don’t have the strength and the courage to step out and say who we are and what matters, then we shouldn’t be allowed to get mad at someone who does. Keep up the good words!
Hi Lorrie!! Thank you. We need to not be offended or “mad” every time someone disagrees with us–it isn’t very “mature”!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Cathy I love your blog and enjoy the varied topics you post. Keep on… your blog brightens my day! Thank you! ( and I love this by Cass Elliot)
Hi Marysue!! Thank you!!!!!! Oh…Cass Elliot WAS an empowering woman–she didn’t care what others throught!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
First , I love that song by Cass Elliot! She didn’t care what people thought about her or the nasty things they said about her body…no way, she had THE voice and could out sing anyone who dissed her..her death was such a loss to the music world.
Secondly, I agree with you 100% that mean girls grow up to be mean women. But you know what? They are also sad women. When women don’t support each other or politely agree to disagree and get nasty with women who speak out I think it’s because they are afraid. Fear masks itself in so many ways…jealousy, hate, criticism or intolerance are all manifestations of fear. What are they afraid of? I don’t know…afraid that their long held beliefs of ‘womanhood’ are being turned inside out? That the world is changing and they won’t be able to cope? Afraid that they will never have the strength to use their voices and therefore begrudge those that do when they should be supporting them? I would bet my last dollar that the form of fear that made those women insist your post be removed was the good ol’ green eyed monster. Yup. They be jelly of you girl. But, deep inside, they really wish they had your guts.
If things go back to the way they were even 40-50 years ago. They’ll really will have something to fear.
Amen.
Hey Momcat. You know–I don’t think there was a green-eyed monster at all. LOL..trust me, there’s nothing I have to be jelly of. I think it was just that my post struck a chord with women who support Trump–and they could not handle the fact I spoke out about his language–one woman in the group went as far to reply that we should “respect” the president. Can you imagine that? A man who debases women, the disabled and has zero respect for anyone. Hell now, he doesn’t deserve one iota of my respect. I seriously think a chord was struck–and god forbid anyone goes against the grain of that crowd. Right???? XOXOXOXOXO!!!!
You know, having been around during the bra burning days………boy have women lost their way IMO.
That’s why women who are strong in their determination, their viewpoint need to engage such as we do here. I was amazed by how many women did not want to vote for Hillary. She’s not perfect
but she has been blamed trashed and scapgoated. One major reason to vote, aside from fact that it is a service to one another, the suffragettes worked for 100 years to be able to vote. Don’t know about you but I will always vote as long as I am able, to honor those sisters who paved the way.
Another thing to consider with people behaving badly ie not being tolerant of different viewpoints is that we are living in a culture of fear: fear of politics, of religion, of terrorists which all leads to fear of one another………and fear of the other as different and therefore dangerous. This is old tribal behavior, anthropologicaly speaking, when in order to keep village safe, one needed to fear the other. Wouldn’t it be nice to evolve from this, where other is just something to be explored and enjoyed. We are living in a war zone with our thumbs up and thumbs down , your in or your out, your current or passe, fat or thin, young or old. There is a cultural brutality going on that is adding greatly to mistrust of one another. I dont have any easy solutution…….all I try to do is be kind……and I fail at that sometimes. But with a president mouthing off as he does, the whole country has permission to behave badly………..or, if we can be conscious about this we can see how destructive it is.
I pray for me consciousness for myself……..but the more waking up I do the more pain ful it seems.
One of life’s great paradoxes.
Chris D
Peoples behave badly not because of president mouthing.
Because missing the 7 years of educational example from home ,parenting…
Christine–Let me tell you, I was a Bernie person. But–my vote went with Hillary because she KNOWS DC. She is politically savvy. And she knows the nuances. Do I “like” her? I don’t even know her on a personal basis. But because she was the better-qualified person, she had my vote.
And vote I do. I don’t take for granted what the women fought for–our vote. And I vote because I want validation in my gripes and complaints. Don’t vote? Then shut your mouth.
I honestly think women, and society are regressing. There are no more true revolutionaries. We have become a bland people who rely on celebrities as “news”–every news program has to end with a “human touch” story. That isn’t “news”. I watch the BBC and the French news to find out what’s going on in the world…
Lol–I’m rambling now….XOXOXOXO!!!!
Oh I was just remembering recently watching a tv show where a young girl maybe 19 was about to perform…….she took a moment to herself and said I’m a bad bitch, I’m a bad bitch, several times before she went on stage. My god she gave a fierce performance, and I thought, I like that mantra!
Can’t imagine that if she said I want to be a sweet, soft spoken lady (not that there is anything wrong with that) that her performance woyld have been the same. She was calling deep into her soul for her best strengths………..hey, I’m with her, I’m a bad bitch……..in a good way!
Oh…I like that–and I for one am a bad bitch!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I think I may be a member of the same Facebook group- supposedly ‘fierce’, but only if you’re not political, credit ‘God’ with everything, and don’t dare disagree with anyone.
*yawns.
I LOVED your shit hole post; it inspired me to have a political rant and do my own political post here: https://boneandsilver.com/2018/01/17/world-wednesday-martin-luther-king-day-and-losing-a-cranberrie/
keep doing ‘You’ Catherine, cos we all love it, and stuff those who can’t handle it! Thank you for sharing your experience, G xO
Hi Bone–quite possibly……. XOXOXOXO
It’s impossible to talk about anything constructive for the advancement of women. I stopped trying years ago. Because I’m a grown woman and isn’t about to go around sounding like a little girl. Everything must be said or written in this neat little package which would be ok for kid but not a mature grown woman.
You wrote: “because political and religious posts should not be discussed in the group”
How does they think any of the rights they enjoy today was won if not through challenging the religious and political structure. It’s took a lot more than being fierce to even earn the right to vote and get domestic violent laws passed.
Nothing is going to wake this crowd up until the laws are repealed that protect women’ right and he has the legality to beat the hell out of them and not go to jail. That’s when they will say. “Ohhh! I get it”
Hi Unholy. Truer words have never been spoken–or written! I just think of all the hard work women did–when I was a teen and they made strides for me. Now my very own age demographic only wants empowerment without being “offended” Trust me, the slap of a man is far worse offensive than a damned blog post. I know this. It’s sad…..XOXOXOXO
The worst thing about is abusive men do not stop with a mere slap. They go for total domination. What we don’t hear about the suffrage movement of the late 1800’s, early 1900’s or even 1960’s and 1970’s is a lot of the foot soldiers disappeared and what do people think ‘really’ happened to them? I hope the laws do not change and go back to the “good ol’ days”. But the ways still are going as of today it’s headed back that way on a one way express train. Then those so easily offended will learn what the word offended truly means.
Their loss, Catherine. And their shame for being so narrow minded. Sometimes people can’t bear to hear when someone speaks out as it brings home to them how small they are and how brave you are. Their treatment of you is also bullying, despite your right to say what you think in a democratic country. Don’tt ever change, just keep on doing what you have always done. That’s what we love and what we need. Xxxxx
Hi Judy!! You know–there’s an awful lot of “bullying” going on in the internet. People love to hide behind the keyboard and monitor. It’s too bad because would they be the same way IRL??? As I stated in the past, if I don’t like a post–i.e. one that I disagree with on a political or religious stance, I’ll scroll on by. I’m not going to go on a “pro-Trump” FB group and curse and badmouth others. I may give an opinion, but I chose my words wisely. The amount of hatred toward others is vile.
That post obviously struck a chord with a very small amount of women who used the tag words “mean spirited” and “offended” and those words are powerful to the point others fear those words. Words.
But I’m still pondering what women want? Especially since women before us tried so hard to give us a voice!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Oh my, Catherine, I’m with you 100% – so sorry that your post on ‘that word’ got taken down because it was so on the button (and a button is of course, what we all hope someone is nowhere near!). I mean from an outsiders point of view can I just say your President comes over as sooooo un-Presidential. Anyway enough of him. You keep writing EXACTLY as before. We love to hear what you have to say – all of it. And if a ‘group’ cannot take it – it really is their loss. Who do they think they are? I mean it can’t be a discussion group because a discussion should take in alternative views. However, it actually shows them up, big time. You’re well out of that group, Catherine, and no way are they ‘fierce’, ‘cos the minute someone shows up who is actually fierce they run a mile in the opposite direction screaming names! You just carry on and be yourself which you are, and we all love you for that.
Actually, Catherine, we are both serious people, aren’t we, but don’t we just love our clothes xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Penny. Oh…you know I’m serious–and I do love my clothes and makeup and wigs and all that fluff. It’s fun. But I”m also thinking you saw my comment on your other blog…XOXOXOXOXO!!!!
Hooray for you for speaking out in such a classy manner! I do believe that we need to be free to speak our minds and respect other points of view, rather than just shut them down.
The president’s language was- and is- vile. His character is seriously flawed and, if we do not continue to speak our minds- and listen – we all stand to lose here.
I’m happy to follow you on your blog (btw, where did you get that blue bra?) and I hope that, as I create my own blog, you will share your insights with me.
Pleasure to meet you and read your blog?
Hi Maureen! Shutting down a person is not conducive to progress. It’s regression–and the thing is, you CAN be girly and have an opinion–that’s what manyfail to see. That blue bra? I got it in Paris December 2016–here’s the post: “Lets Go On a Bra Crawl”
I’ll be heading over to your blog shortly—and thank you for the support!!!! XOXOXOXO
I can understand the “fierce”, “own voice”, “empowerment” in the context of mature women shedding the norms for how society believes they should dress. This is obviously what they signed up for when they joined the group. They did not sign up for political discussion – so in a way I can understand what has happened here.
Hi Helen–and I welcome your view on this. But my post was about language–and if a group pontificates having a voice–then the caveat–about fashion should be stated. It would make for a more clear understanding. We all have a voice and if someone doesn’t like that voice–there is no need for snarky remarks. All the reader has to do is scroll past. I’ve scrolled through many a post I didn’t care for or that didn’t share my beliefs. There is no reason for me to get snarky about a post from another person that I don’t agree with–especially when it is not on my platform.
Others turned my post into a political statement. You bring up an excellent point. However, women should still be free to debate in a respectful manner –just as we are! XOXOXOXO!!!!
The saddest thing is when women don’t support our own. I don’t understand why we can’t all love each other even with differing views. It’s those differing views that make us unique and hopefully open our eyes to others and their issues.
But as my husband always says, “people are people” and it’s the way of the world. I’m so sorry that your post got turned into something it wasn’t. Most of us do get it. But there’s always a bad apple in big groups, right??
I always love your take on everything, even when it’s not my thinking, because we are wonderfully lovely each and every variety!
Have a great weekend.
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
PS..I laughed at your saying that you’d marry J.Crew….
Hi Jodie! And thank you so much for your comment. You have no idea how much I appreciate your words!! Your husband is right—and you are right too–why can’t we just love and respect one another? Life is way too short for snarking on what others believe! I’m glad that we don’t agree on everything but do so with respect!
LOL–Hey. I would marry J. Crew……XOXOXOXO!!!!
I love your blog, and I like and enjoy your views on things. I admire you quite a bit. I’ve ‘unfriended’ several people on Facebook, they are ultra right-wing and we no longer have anything in common aside from breathing air. I’ll tell you one thing, you and your blog are a breath of fresh air. I follow quite a few fashion blogs and if I were smart, I’d stop. One in particular has become just so over-the-top annoying….. She started out as a young woman on the cusp of getting married, was having fun with fashion (particularly J. Crew which I have been a fan of too), but now she’s something altogether different. Spoiled, VAIN, terribly rude at times. Building her second 11,000 sq. ft. McMansion. You get the drift. I feel sorry for her really, because she no longer seems to appreciate the simple things in life……….like a fresh slice of pound cake in a cozy home with her wonderful French husband. Take care, Catherine, and keep on going!
Hi Vava. Oh…I cut down tremendously on the amount of “fashion” bloggers that I used to follow. If I am reading a fashion blog, I want deets! I want to know the fabric and the fit and all about the clothes. I don’t want a polyvore flatlay and a “click”. I happen to like reading better than clicking!! But thanks so much Vava!! Comments like yours give me the push to carry on when I’m thinking of packing it in!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!
You are fabulous! Keep speaking your truth because it is also my truth. If my friends, there are only two that will discuss politics and our sad state of affairs. The rest either don’t follow politics, don’t like the discussion of it and the discomfort it presents. I feel the need for a political support group and you and Tge Frugal Fashion Shopper are my ladies! Keep up the good work!
Hi Marilyn. OMG. Is Penny not the greatest? I went off on her other blog with a rant the other day. I love her so much. And the thing that is love is that we can read both about her fashion style, her travels and then–BAM!!! She’s write a great post on politics or social issues. I freaking love that!!! I stopped speaking politics with my sisters because I just cant’–they are family and I just cannot wrap my head around the way they think politically. But I’ve been “unfriended” and the like and it’s fine by me..I have the friends that I can disagree with respectfully and that’s cool. One of my family’s very good friends attacked my kids because they voted for Hillary. She is now persona-non-grata. My kids may be of voting age and adults, but if anyone disrespects them, I’m crazy like a wild animal. LOL!!! XOXOXOXO
Hi Catherine,
We read you because of who you are. Your post was from the heart, and done well. I enjoy your personal posts the most, not being a big make-up girl myself. But wouldn’t give you up for anything. Those of us with age and wisdom have experienced a lot, as through our time, women have swung from role to role. I found it hard to accept that women wouldn’t vote for Hillery, for many reasons that would never have mattered if she were a man. Now we see what we got instead. Keep being true to yourself. I”m glad you left the group. But maybe a little door slamming in the form of a good-bye letter would give some of the bad girls something to think about.
Hi Bonnie. Thanks so much!! LOL. I certainly do write from the heart–or rather heartless when I’m really upset! Like you, I am flummoxed that women would not vote for Hillary. Sure–she’s got faults. Sure–she’s not charasmatic. But the woman knows her stuff and she’s strong and she would have been a lot better in foreign relations and medical care than that fat bozo who’s off to Florida to charge $100,000 to have dinner with him. The only thing I would give him is my saliva–if I had the opportunity to spit in his face!!
Be that as it may, I try to avoid confrontation at all costs. It isn’t worth my while to write a letter because I realize that I just don’t fit in with that whole “group” concept. I’m a loner!! Like the Neil Young song–The Loner!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!!
I like your voice, and I’m going to keep on liking your voice, and I am glad it is here because, agree with you or not, I enjoy what you say. Maybe that is a sign of maturity? I’m hoping so.
Hi Marsha! Thank you!! I do think that this voice could be a mature voice or a sign of wisdom with pro-aging!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Dear Catherine, please do continue to speak your mind and what’s in your heart. I do enjoy reading your blog.
Thank you Elly. Oh..I will!!! Many of my friends have always said I say what others think–and I’m not going to stop!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Catherine, I am a member of that “fierce” Facebook group and I read your post and I can’t believe it was deleted! Sadly, although empowerment was the intention of the group initially, there is more emphasis on fluff than real stuff. Don’t get me wrong, we all like the fluff but it is the real stuff that is our voice and that is what makes us fierce! I so enjoy your writing – there is substance to your words which is thought provoking; you manage to mix in fashion, beauty, food AND you are not directing me to “Like to Know It” in every other line of your post which is why yours is one of the blogs I consistently read (I do love the music videos when you include them at the end!). Keep up the excellent work – you are one Fierce lady!
Hi Mary Lou! Yeah. It was deleted. I’m telling you, I was pretty disappointed. Not angry but majorly disappointed. We are supposed to have a “voice” but it apparently is only if we gear that voice toward fluff. And you hit the nail on the head about the “Like to Know It’. I’ve reassessed many of the blogs I have been reading–fashion and beauty geared for “mature women” and the ones I no longer read are those very ones with the “clicks” to the “like to know it” and other sites along the same lines. Why? It’s because those bloggers have stopped WRITING about the details or the nuances of the clothes. Instead, they are building a fantasy of photographs and not centering on important things like construction and fit and fabric. Even when I read fluff, I want substance!! I like a blog with a read and those are the ones that I’m leaning toward. Hey–your comment came up in the “pending for moderation”..are you subscribing? If not, please join in on this little group of friends. Your voice matters!!!! Thanks so much Marylou. As a member of that group, I really appreciate your taking the time out to write and to continue reading what I have to say. Thank you again!! XOXXOXOXXO
I subscribed to your blog! Been following you on Instagram for a while — love your IG posts!
Thanks–ok you didn’t get placed in the moderation group! Word Press is weird sometimes! LOL. Instagram is fun for the most part. I love it!!! XOXOXOXO
Love that song and Cass. Just do your own thing. I’m with you.
Hi Sandy!! Thank you my dear!! I’m very honored and happy that you are with me!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!!
PS. I love that photo of your grandmother. She has such a sweetness and beauty about her.
Oh..Sandy, my grandmother was the best!!!! She is the woman who really shaped my life!! I miss herXOXOXOXO!!!
Hi Catherine!
I love that you are not afraid to speak up…about all things!! And speaking of that, I have something to add about hair. For the past 5 years I have been asking all of my Docs(GYN, internist,Derm) about hair loss and facial hair growth. They all said it was common in women of my age (65) and nothing could be done. Fast forward to this fall…I switched to a new Derm and this young woman said my loss did not look normal to her and more like male pattern baldness. She asked if anyone had checked my hormones, which they hadn’t so she did it. My testosterone levels were way too high!!
She sent results to my GYN. He ordered an MRI and a small cyst was found on my right ovary. I was referred to a GYN/oncologist and he says this is a rare form of cyst that secretes testerone. So, to be proactive he recommends a complete hysterectomy so it won’t happen again. I’ll let you know if my hair starts growing back in the right places!!
After this is all over I will be sending my new Derm Doc a big thank you bouquet of roses!!
Theresa Bowles
Spartanburg,SC
Hi Theresa! I’m so happy that you have found a reason for the hairloss/chin hair. Having a great OB/GYN is so important. When do you have the surgery? I want to know how it goes!! And I”m glad that you will have that hysterectomy so that it won’t recurr!!! XOXOXOXOXO
Thank you so much Catherine! Surgery is this coming Tuesday the 23rd. I will let you know how it goes. Hopefully just 1 night in the hospital with no complications!
Catherine,
I love how you write and I know you are not a racist.
I love following you because of your quick wit, you make me smile, and laugh.
When you shared your link within the community of fierce women, trolls were under the bridge waiting.They sit in all large groups and feel they should voice their opinion, but they are mean spirited and nasty.I have seen trolls go after interior designers on shelter magazines FaceBook sites , like Traditional Home and Veranda group with such ugliness. The magazines do a terrible job controlling negative comments, but negative comments fuel the fire.
We live in a society where being ugly and bullying is the new norm.
When your post was deleted it wasn’t because of you, it was because some women got ugly and mean very quickly. It was deleted to protect you from the ugly trolls. It shut down your voice, but also shut down the trolls.
I believe we should all support and empower women over 50 in however they choose to express themselves. I will not give power to bullying, there is no place in my world for it.
I am sorry you left, but I still love finding your voice here.
Your follower always,
Robin
Hey Robin. Thank you. You are one of the bloggers that I am happy to be following forever! The thing with trolls is that the ruin it for everyone. But rather than protect me, the trolls should have been banned from the site. However, I realize that is most likely difficult to do. It’s all ok. This incident, can, perhaps be a learning experience for all of us. But I’m really glad that we can continue to enjoy each other’s blogs and words and support each other–that’s what it’s all about!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
you are absolutely right!!
Thank you again my friend!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!
Catherine,
Just wanted you to know, I too, am with YOU…all the way!!!
Alrighty, I’m off to start my Friday night with Season 4 of Grace and Frankie. Boy, can I really use a laugh tonight (started watching after your terrific review). Many, many thanks for all that you do!!
Cheers to a great weekend!!!…
Hey Catherine, I just wanted to chime in here with my two cents worth as one of the group’s admins. I missed the ‘discussion’ that happened on your post and it’s a shame that you feel you were censored when it was deleted. You do know that the members who were making the ugly comments were removed, don’t you? The other thing I’d like to point out here is that we all make mistakes. We (the group admins) aren’t perfect and we don’t have all the answers. We are fully supportive of all opinions and points of view, but we have zero tolerate for women tearing each other down. Our group is still very new and we’re still finding our feet; mistakes will be made along the way and we’ll learn from them. It’s a shame you were so quick to leave – you are welcome back anytime tho.
Gah! That’s zero tolerance 🙂
Hi Wendy!! I had absolutely no idea that the members/trolls were removed. Thank you for telling me about that. The sad thing is that FB is rife with trolls. The hide behind the keyboard and stir the pot, so to speak. Hey–this blog is based on imperfection! It’s a place for everyone to come over to and read that not being perfect is perfectly fine!! I have to thank you for your encouraging comments when we are new we are finding our way around–and mistakes are not errors, they are just little steps to improvement! Thank you so much!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Yes, totally agree! We don’t learn unless we make mistakes. I know Catherine is planning to re-publish your post with an explanation of what happened. And yeah, unfortunately there are too many trolls hiding behind their keyboards. They will always be removed from our group, as we want our members to lift each other up and have meaningful discussions in a positive way.
I am encouraged to make my own kind of “music” Thank you so much.
Hi Sheraw!! You are quite welcome!!! Go out there and be you!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!
Keep being yourself! That’s what keeps me interested in your blog. ❤️
From one Cathe to another–Thank you!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Hi Catherine, I’m a few posts behind after taking a week off to recoup from the Christmas and New Year. I wholeheartedly agree that “you keep being yourself” and don’t let anyone or a group of people try to muffle your voice. In here…your blog is your vehicle, you can speak “truth to power” and no one can stop you. XO Amelia
Happy New Year Amelia!!!! And thank you so much for visiting and keeping me encouraged!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
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Hi Catherine – I loved this post. I just started a blog this weekend about claiming your voice. It is at belovedclaimyourvoice.wordpress.com. I want strong female voices…fierce as you say. So that is what my blog is about. It is targeted to Catholic women and those exploring catholicism but your voice is amazing. Thanks for this post! And, if I liked wearing makeup, yours would be the beauty advice I follow 😉
This former Catholic School girl thanks you for sharing !!!XOXOXO
Reblogged this on International Badass Activists.
great post, one of my favourite article, this inspired me to good some better, thanks catherine
Thank you Kat!!!! I’m happy that you enjoyed it–and I stand by my beliefs!! XOXOXOXO!!!!
Gr8!
Hi its such a pleasure to connect with you!
Do share your writings on http://www.fuzia.com
It’s a great place to support, share your works and inspire each other.We would be delighted to have you as a part of our community. You will connect with a global audience of more than 3 million.
Thanks