There was a time in my life when I had quite the head of hair. As a child, my mother would curl my thick, black tresses and with the natural wave pattern, the hair that I had always received compliments.
The curls and thick hair were a way of life for me!
As I hit that awkward age, and my mother tired of fixing my hair—most likely due to the fact that she had four other heads to watch over, my thick hair was cut into a pixie. This was the most awkward stage of my life. And I hated both my mother for cutting my hair and I hated my hair for misbehaving.
Quite possibly the most awkward hair moment in my life. I’ve never forgiven my mother for that! But everyone goes through that awkward stage!
A couple of months later and the hair is STILL at an awkward stage. And yes. I twirled a baton! With the St. Patrick School Marching Band!
Then as I entered the teen years my hair grew out. Still thick but very unmanageable and so I wore it pulled back most of the time—especially in the humid summers.
Back in the day–with a full head of hair, no wrinkles and I didn’t need glasses 100 percent of the time. Where did my chin disappear to? A rainy afternoon on the NYC Subway system!
Then I came to terms with the head of hair that I had and accepted the waves and the thickness.
Big hair moment during the 1980’s in NYC! I loved that color too!
And I grew to appreciate the hair that I had.
With Oona at Chesapeake. You can see in the front that I’m starting to lose a bit of hair!
And throughout all this, I pulled my hair out when I was stressed, and even worse—I picked at my scalp and I won’t even go into those details.
But—I was lucky that my hair was thick. At the time.
At Sydney’s Taronga Zoo with a Zookeeper. I ended up having a blast with this guy later on a bar crawl! But look at that little “spot” in the front of my head!
At Trenton’s Waterfront Park–lots of baseball time spent there and lots of hats to cover the start of a loss through my own doing!
And when I met my present husband, the effects of the damage I had done by pulling and picking began to show. I now had a “spot” on the back of my head to match the one by my front part. And normal shedding became abnormal. And where new growth occurs—it didn’t with me because I damaged my scalp.
This picture always makes me think. I was adept at the comb-over because the hair was really shedding and falling. I was stressed because I lost my home through divorce and was living in a crappy apartment. Jake was away at college but I still had Roman and Oona to keep me sane and happy. Little did I know that a Frenchman would enter my life shortly!
At this time, I started using Toppik, which was a life-saver. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment when Bonaparte realized my hair loss began to be a big thing but, him, being the very honest and critical Frenchman, would point out where I needed to cover the loss.
My sigh of relief was that I could depend on him to go through this with me.
Suffice it to say, the loss became greater—hair stopped growing and eventually I began to wear toppers and then wigs.
The last “nice” photo of me in my bio hair. Adam, the hairstylist extraordinaire knew how to blow my hair out and cover the loss and he was an expert at applying my Toppik!
Anyway, in a random moment last Sunday while we were enjoying the weekend’s end with aperitifs, he mentioned that he loved the way I look when I’m wearing wigs.
Surprised by that comment, I must’ve given him the cross-eyed, side eye because he went on to further elaborate.
He caught me competely off guard!
He said that when I started wearing wigs, he was a bit concerned because those first ones were a bit “wiggy” looking. They weren’t good wigs (He was right. My first foray into wigs was a trial and error thing). He thought some of the wigs were a bit too shiny.
And he went on to tell me that with the research I did, and learning to customize wigs, I did such a great job that he prefers me in wigs these days and………………………………. here’s the best part! He said sometimes he has to remind himself that I’m wearing a wig because they look natural.
Here I am wearing Chloe in Chocolate Cherry–the wig my husband gifted me with for my birthday!
That’s a nice testament coming from my Frenchman. The French can be appear to be very critical—but it’s more because they are just being honest. And honesty is the best policy.
My Frenchman. I’m damned lucky to have such a supportive man!
You have no idea how great my husband made me feel during that part of our conversation simply because he supports what I do. He never thought I was odd because of my hair loss or the way I dealt with it because he’s part of my team.
It’s difficult when you begin to switch over to the world of wigs for the first time. It’s that time when we wig wearers all make mistakes. It’s that time when we are at our biggest learning curve in how to handle the hair we wear.
The wigs I wear now are looking much better than the ones I wore when I began my journey!
Through research and instinct, we learn what works for us. And when we have a husband, or significant other, family member or friends who support us—we’ve gotten the best gift we can which is support.
Because with support we gain confidence and courage and I’m thankful that my husband has given me that support to be confident and courageous in my journey from my bio hair to my fake hair!
I created a slide show for you that I ended up putting on my YouTube channel. Have a peek at my various hair looks and let me know what you think!
Enjoy the rest of the weekend and take it easy as we begin to enter into the holiday season!
You look awesome in those wigs! I couldn’t even tell that you were wearing one.
Hi Mona!! Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOX
Thank you as always for your candor. Yes, you are sooo blessed to have your Frenchman! Enjoy your upcoming travels!
Hi Maryellen! Thank you so much–I do hope to enjoy the travels!!! XOXOXOXOXO
You look great in your wigs! When I first started wearing my hair topper I wondered what my husband thought, I felt weird taking it off in front of him and even putting it on but it really doesn’t matter. I love it and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t mind a bit. H really liked it when I got my first one but we haven’t talked about it much – it’s been 2 years now and just a way of life.
I wish you had an online wig consulting business – seriously – because I am scared to death to buy a wig online. Some look “wiggy” – too much hair, too much shine. You are so knowledgeable! Please start an online consulting business – we’ll call you the “Wig Whisperer’!
xo,
Kellyann
http://www.thisblondesshoppingbag.com
Hi Kellyann! Oh I would LOVE to start a Wig Whisperer business but I swear to God I have no business savvy!! Thank you for your support though! Seriously, to get wigs online–google the name of the wig then head to YouTube to SEE the reviews because they give you a much better idea of how the wig will look IRL!!! XOXOXOXOXO
I so respect your courage and honesty- I also appreciate your Frenchman- what a catch! Your wigs look fab- you have great taste 🙂
Hey G! Thanks so much! Yeah. Vincent is definitely a great man and the fact that he entered my life when I had a ton of baggage is a complete testament to what a wonderful person he is!!! Thank you!! XOXOXOXO
What is a topper and where do you find them? I assume it’s a small hairpiece? Thanks, cause I think I need one soon.
Hi Cindylou. A topper is just that and they can range between small and ones that cover quite the full head. When my hair started really going bald but not enough for a wig, I wore toppers but they were a pain in the ass to deal with. For me, wigs are just better. Go to Uniwigs.com and check out their toppers–the company makes great ones!!! XOXOXOXO
My, you had quite the hair going on in the days! Mine is straight and fine. I would have loved for it to have more body and a bounce!
Love your Chloé wig. You look great in lighter coloured wigs like the cherry red and the ones with highlights. Gives you such a radiant look! I don’t wear any wigs but the idea of being able to change your look once or twice a day…….hmm, there’s a thought.
Hey B!! Yeah. I had quite the mop and there are days when I really miss it–but I get over that feeling quickly!! Thanks–I LOVE that Chloe wig and will have to order a backup in that color!!! XOXOXOXOXO
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I love your wigs, they are great! And that husband of yours is quite the catch!!! Have a great Monday!
Thanks Vava! Oh yes–he is the greatest!!! A complete keeper!!! XOXOXOXOXO
Love that photo of you and Bonaparte! OMG I think I’m gonna need one soon too, but they are all so ‘bouffant’, I would look ridiculous with my tiny head. I think the key to receiving support with wigs and hair loss is to be open about it and not to be embarrassed or ashamed. You are a wonderful wig ambassador( … wig whisperer is a brilliant idea!) Xx Almost counting the days till you go to Paris!
Thanks Fiona!!I printed that photo and it’s hanging in my cubicle at work! And remember–too thick wigs can be thinned out! Hey. I wear my fake hair proudly!!! XOXOXOXOXO
I think you look absolutely adorable – but jings our mothers have some explaining to do. My mother was obsessed with me having as short as possible (think Mia Farrow without cuteness), and would almost wallop me around the head to “bring out the natural curl” – hence 54yrs of very conflicted hair relationship. It is only since I have given up – hair dye, worrying, faffing etc that I am now at peace with my hair and y’know what – it has never been better. Finally I actually dont mind what is on top of my head – white wavy/curls – OK very fine and messy but we are no long fighting each other. candour is the best option – true honesty isnt mean or hurtful, it is actually very kind and protective – you are very lucky but deserving of your lovely Frenchman.
Hi Juliet! OMG. I think our mothers may have been related! I’ve also had a very emotional relationship with my hair. But my wigs are faring better!!! XOXOXOXOXO
I love your posts on wigs. I have finally purchased my first wig, but still not totally comfortable wearing it. You mentioned mistakes you made when first wearing “hair”..can you write about a few of them? Thank you!!
Hi June! I definitely will be doing a Mistakes I’ve Made post with wigs. Thank you so much for the idea!!! XOXOXOXO
Ah I loved this – such a heartbreaking journey and so beautifully written. I so admire your courage and joie-de-vivre, Catherine, and your humour and enthusiasm have been a big influence on me embracing the possibility of trying wigs. I took my Cherry Chloe out for a test drive and felt FABULOUS!! I wore her because my hair was a mess, I needed a good blow dry and was feeling too sorry for myself to make an effort. I plonked on Chloe and rocked it over to the shops feeling like a complete glamour queen. I even forgot I had it on until I got home and husband said… ‘have you..? Have you done something…? To your hair?’ Lol!
I feel your pain with the pixie cut – my mum got fed up with untangling my (then) thick curly hair so gave me a Purdey! Does anyone remember that cut? Looked great on Joanna Lumley but not on a squat, freckly, frumpy, shy eleven year old girl. 🙄 of the photos that still exist from that time (that I hadn’t destroyed) I am not smiling in any of them. 😂 thank you for your inspiration and always making me laugh xx