Before I get into the meat of the subject, I want to touch upon a few things.  First of all,  Bonaparte is partially writing this. It is his account of our Dishwasher saga.

That’s right, my Frenchman has a voice in this blog and this saga!

But first let us take a stroll down memory lane.

Chances are if you read this blog you were a child of the 50’s and 60’s.  Although too young to remember the 1950’s with the exception of Brookyn’s treasured best cake of all time,  Ebinger’s Blackout Cake and my first Barbie in 1959, the 1960’s are more familiar to me.

Sadly, this is what’s left of Ebinger’s bakery…

And many have tried in vain to duplicate the best treasure of Brooklyn, NY, but none have succeeded!  None!

And I remember the day I got my first Barbie. I was four years old. It was an epic moment that founded my love for all things girly and my fascination with Barbie’s breasts without nipples!

And with those days came chores for the kids.  And among those chores were washing and drying the dishes manually because not every family owned a dishwasher.  If my memory serves me correctly, we didn’t get a dishwasher until around 1968 or 1969.

Luckily for my horrific eyesight, I was exempt from washing dishes, but it didn’t stop my mother from making me dry them upon being released from the suds of the kitchen sink.

This scene from one of my favorite movies ever, “The Trouble With Angels” was not far removed from the scene in a house growing up with seven people.  I dried the dishes!

Over the years dishwashers became a mainstay.  An integral kitchen appliance.  And yet, another item to break and replace.  And thus, is the saga of our Kitchen Aid dishwasher.

We’ve been in our home for six years now.  And our home was built seven years prior.  The dishwasher is 13 years old. Now in my opinion, a dishwasher should last at least twenty years.  But they just don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Our dishwasher stopped working.  Dead.  Nada.  And it stopped working…Just. Like. That.

At the very least, a cell-phone will let you know when it’s battery is ready to die.  Not a dishwasher though!

This had Bonaparte researching every dishwasher known to man and woman and he would not stop.  He finally decided on a Bosch.

Here is his account of the purchasing experience, in his own words:

Pay attention now…the Frenchman speaketh….or rather, writith!!!

APPLIANCE BUYERS AT BEST BUY BE AWARE!!!

 Let me relate a saga concerning buying a dishwasher from Best Buy. Here is the story.

Oh Bosch, I hardly knew ye!

One evening, on September 19, I went to Best Buy in King of Prussia, Pa and purchase a top of the line Bosch dishwasher.  After spending a good 45min with a nice salesman, I went ahead and purchased the item.  We both scheduled a delivery, installation and haul away of the old machine to be done on Monday Sept 30.  I then realized later day that the delivery date was not good. I called Best Buy, waited 30 minutes to talk to someone who said their computer would not let them change the date now, I had to call the next day.

The next day I called again, wasted another hour or so and changed the date to October 7, Monday afternoon.  Perfect day for me…. Great, despite all the time wasted on hold. MY MACHINE WAS COMING….

A few days later, I received about 4 or 5 text messages giving me different dates, one for delivery, one for installation, another for haul-away and so on.  There were actually 3different delivery for the dishwasher.  Was I getting 3 dishwashers now?  Something did smell good.

So I called again. I was on hold again for a good 45 minutes.  I finally talked to a “person”.  He asked me about those texts and put me on hold for another 20 minutes.  He confirmed that the texts were about scheduling for delivery, installation and haul-away.  I said: “what?  You mean three different companies are going to be at my door, at different times and different days for me finally get a machine that cost a thousand dollars?” The reply was: “Yes sir, we at Best Buy use contractors to deliver and install large appliances and they all have their own schedule.” I was furious.  I demanded that everything be done on one day, by one team, at one time, like it normally is done.  He put on hold again and I waited for another 20 minutes before going to a meeting I had to attend.  I hung up.

The next day, today, Thursday September 29, 10 days after initially purchasing the item, I was still trying to make sure of the delivery, installation and so on.  I called again the same number, the Geek Squad it is called, and waited another 20 minutes.  A rude man answered, I explained what had happened, and must admit I became somewhat agitated by his smugness.  “What, you have 3 different companies handling the delivery, installation and haul-away for a single dishwasher.  This absurd. I want this and that, blah, blah”, and he hung up on me.

So I am cancelling this order.  Went to the store and got my money back, less $50 for special cords that the store said are delivered. Called to the credit card company and am disputing that charge too.  Wasted another 45 minutes.

I’m amazed the store is still operating! And why would The Geek Squad be assisting with appliances?  I though they were computer-specific?

Suggestion:  DO NOT BUY ANY APPLIANCE AT BEST BUY.  IT’S THE WORST BUY.

Yes. My Frenchman has finally realized the difficulty of trying to purchase an appliance American Style in the day of subcontractors.  A few friends told him to go to a store known for selling appliances because everything will be done in one day.

Bonaparte is now doing battle with Best Buy!

Wait. It gets better.

This past Wednesday evening, I started preparations to bake cookies for a coworker who was leaving to pursue other opportunities.  His cookie of choice was oatmeal raisin.  And so, I proceeded to make the cookie dough.

I also started to bake a couple of batches too!  Damn WW, too many points for me to indulge at this time!

Now, whenever I bake or cook or spend any length of time in the kitchen, our little Chippy loves to get underfoot.  He waits with bated breath and hopes that I’ll drop a morsel of goodness on the floor for him to lap up.  I usually do drop a few tidbits and he laps ‘em right up.

Chippy doing his best Oliver Twist imitation.  Please sir, I want some more. Only with him its “Please mom, drop the food”

During this time, Bonaparte had a late meeting with a client and Chippy and I were home alone.

Chippy got underfoot, as he usually does, and I fell.  Oh, I fell good.  Not good enough to injure myself and get a day off from work.  I’m not that lucky.

Yeah, and I fell so hard that my wig shifted!

But I fell into the door of the closed dishwasher that died.

And then something happened. It was like a miracle.  The dishwasher turned on.  I saw it with my own crossed eyes.  The little blue light shined like a star.  And the water started running into it.  I turned it off. And turned it back on.  Lo and behold a miracle took place in our very kitchen.

Will you look at that?  It lives!  It lives. And I forgot to wipe down the stainless steel door!

And when Bonaparte arrived home and saw what happened the usually stern visage of the Frenchman turned into a face filled with glee.  I swear he did the happy dance, French style!

Trust me. This IS the happy dance French Style.  These three are beside themselves with uproariously glee and rhythm!

Gone are the plastic plates and utensils and the dish drying rack is relegated to the garage—basically now an oversized junk drawer!

This stuff?  Firmly nestled between Christmas decorations and old furniture and electronics in our junk drawer known as the garage!

Did I mention when we went to Costco today, the husband couldn’t venture forward to the food items before taking a look-see at the dishwashers?

My guess is Bonaparte is still looking…….

What will the next chapter bring? Another death of the dishwasher?  What other appliances can I fall into and bring back to life?  Will Chippy never stop being Oliver Twist? Will Bonaparte decide to buy a Bosch someplace else? Will Ebinger’s ever reopen?….the saga continues!