Guess Who’s Gonna Be a Grandma????? I’m Joining the Grandma Club!

Yesterday was a big day. I was finally able to announce on Social Media that I was going to be a grandma—or glamma—or grammy.

The amount of well-wishers warmed my heart! Not to mention that this post was the best one ever!

(My personal choice being Moira but I have been nixed by the mommy-to-be)

Oh yes!  I am so ready to be a grandma. My WIGS are ready to be a grandma!  But the moniker Moira was nixed! But I AM championing myself!

Anyway, at this juncture, I’m so excited that I cannot contain myself. It’s the greatest thing. You see, it never really mattered much to me if I became a grandparent or not. It isn’t my choice.  I’ve had my children and their decisions are to be respected. If they don’t want children who am I to voice my opinion?

The tears are happy ones!  Seriously, I cannot contain myself!

I’m so full of shit!  The thought of being a grandma thrills me with delight and during this dismal year of 2020, it is the best news I could receive.  It’s also a possibility that a “Pandemic Baby Boom” is about to commence!

PANDEMIC

I could re-write this. Diane Keaton as Grandma in Pandemic Baby Boom!

It’s been killing me too, because I found out last month. Oona and Sam were giving me a FaceTime tour of their home that’s being built. And she stopped in the makings of a room and told me the spot was going to be a nursery. I laughed and said “someday or it can be another guest room”.  And then she laid it on me and told me she was pregnant.  I dropped the phone, ran around the house like Chippy when it’s meal time and jumped up and down—nearly causing a flood (like—who’s the one who needs diapers anyway?)

seinfeld celebrating GIF

Seriously. I was tons more excited than this!

Needless to say, as happy as I am, this brings on other emotions.

My three children were never the favored grandchildren of my mother. It’s no secret. It’s no surprise. I still remember the time, Oona’s second feis, an Irish Dance competition, held in Long Island not too far from where one of my sisters live.  My mother was visiting from Florida.

She promised Oona she would come and watch her.  When I was ready to leave, my mother said that she would meet me later because my sister would drive her.  It was a truthfully-challenged moment that neither Oona nor I have ever forgotten.

Nobody puts my baby in a corner. And nobody will put my grandbaby in a corner!

You do not do that to your grandchild.  That wasn’t the only time.  I’ll leave it at that.

But after a few similar incidents, I vowed to never do to a grandchild what my mother did to my children.

I remember the relationship I had with my grandmother and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. My grandmother was an amazing woman. An immigrant from Ireland, she worked her ass off, first as a domestic, then years later, after my grandfather lost a lung due to damages from WWI, she worked as a cleaning lady in an office in Manhattan. She worked for years.

Grandma Margaret Crowley Wynne. I was absolutely blessed and my children were blessed to have her as their great-grandma!

And when I stayed with my grandparents and my Aunt Terry during the summers, every week night evening, close to 11 O’clock, we would drive to the subway station at Woodhaven Blvd. to taker her back home.

I was so lucky to have her as my grandmother. She was such an important part of my life and I miss her!

My favorite childhood memories were those spent during the summers leaving Long Island for the comfort and pleasure of a more urban environment in Queens.  My grandmother may not have been the fuzzy, huggy and kissy grandma, but she was incredibly nurturing and took wonderful care of me.

I was her “tea-and-Drake’s-pound cake” partner. And every afternoon, before she left to clean those offices, that’s how we enjoyed each other’s company.  I slept in her bedroom on a cot that she dressed up comfortably for me.

More memories returned when I found this pic on the net. It’s the same exact cup and saucer set my grandmother had.  Not to this day have I ever had a better cup of tea than the ones my grandma brewed!

When we went to Mass, she always had a supply of tissues for my never-ending runny nose, and when Mass was over, a Pep-O-Mint Lifesaver that she carried in her practical black purse.  I loved that woman so much. And she was an incredible grandma.  Ask my cousins and they will say the same!

My aspirations are to be as loving and nurturing as my grandmother was, but I’ll be fuzzier and more kissy.

This was taken on her 95th birthday. Cuppa tea in hand!

The one thing that makes me sad, though, is the distance apart.  Oona and Sam and The Baby live in Cincinnati.  I live in the Philadelphia suburbs.

Although I wasn’t a working mom, I’ll be a working grandma. I’ll be that grandma who won’t be there three times a week.  I won’t be there once a week.  I won’t be there much because this grandma-to-be has to work.

Oh wait!  I think I hear Oona screaming for joy because I won’t be around to bug her!

Happy Feliz GIF

Oona. Being so excited when she reads in print that we live far away from each other!

Doesn’t matter though—because when I do get to visit, it’ll be quality time. I can cook for Oona and Sam and make their favorite dinners and desserts!

I can shower the baby with kisses and hugs and hold her/him all day, despite what my daughter might say about putting the baby down for a nap. I’ll be the pillow.  I’ll bring my nose down to enjoy that baby smell!  I’ll gladly change diapers and clean that baby hiney so well then apply Desitin (do they even use Desitin anymore?) and cuddle some more.

I’ll also be the grandma who buys baby a starfish outfit and takes a video like this. I”m sorry-not-sorry but this is funny and right up my alley!

Damn.  I wish I lived near Oona so I could rub her belly and look at her boobs growing as the milk comes in!  I want to argue with her about how to hold the baby and how to give the baby a bath!

And—the shopping has begun.

After my mani-pedi I went to Target!  Now, it is a bit daunting not knowing the gender but we’ll find that out next month. In the meantime, I purchased a couple of basics.  You can’t go wrong—right?

Time to load up on basics!

Baby socks. They are sooooo cute. Although Grammy Cathe (which I think will be the chosen moniker) prefers no socks because barefoot is better, babies need to keep their feetsies warm and toasty.

Can you just picture those cute little baby feet in these cute little baby socks?

Organic Cloth Diapers.  I’m guessing replacing “100 % Cotton” with “Organic” is more on trend these days. But—despite the disposable diapers being used, cloth diapers are a Godsend. They are great to throw over the shoulder so that when baby burps, the burpee juices don’t land on the good J. Crew clothing but rather than the organic diapers.

I love you already Baby. But get one thing straight. You spit up on THESE–and NOT my J. Crew clothing.  Got it? Good. We’ll be besties 4evah!

Besides, when the diapers get stained and raunchy, they can be used to dust the furniture with.

Organic (WTF—it’s cotton!) Onesies—and long sleeved.  Baby will be a winter one—no sense in the short-sleeved model yet—what if the heat fails?

OMG!  Opinionated Grammy Cathe is on the loose. It’s COTTON!  We KNOW it’s organic. Ugh. Labels!

Gender-neutral flannel blankets.  Trust me, these blankets are the only gender-neutral item (besides the onesies and socks) that this grandma will be buying.

Gender neutrality. So if the baby is a girl, gray and pink are a wonderful match. If the baby is a boy, Gray and Navy will suffice just as well!

Political correctness aside, that baby can figure out what he/she wants to be as he/she gets older. For now, once I find out if that baby is a boy or a girl, it’s getting all the gender-Unneutral clothing I can find! Sorry not sorry!

Oh yeah?  Well, Grammy Cathe is gonna play into gender stereotypes two hundred percent!  Unless you are talking about playing chef. Then you both get the same kitchen!

Lactation cookies.  I got these for Oona to try.  She’s a bit hesitant to try these until the baby is born. I would try them but the pandemic weight gain has been so enormous that I can’t have any more body growth.

Oh look!  The expiration date is after my baby–OOPS, I mean OONA’S baby is born!  Can you believe this shit?  Lactation cookies? Oops!  I’m being Opinionated Grammy Cathe again!

Oh no! I forgot to get my grandpappy Gracie a gift. She can’t feel left out!  I’ll pack some Milk Bones and a photo of Chippy for her!

I have a strong suspici0n that Gracie and I may be butting heads. She’s gonna think the baby is HERS, whilst I’ll believe the baby is MINE. Oh…the baby is Oona’s.

Speaking of lactation, look at all the stuff that’s being manufactured for breastfeeding moms these days!

I couldn’t believe this.  I’m still shaking my head in envy because I should have thought of this. I coulda been a contenda! And made tons of money!

Geez.  When I had my first child, the lactation advice from my Ob/Gyn was “Have a can of beer when you get home” “The yeast and hops will help to produce the milk”. Now there’s Lactation cookies and beverages to help produce milk!

Look at the nutrition facts for these Lactation cookies. This is garbage!  Full of fat, cholesterol, sodium, carbs and sugar.  Sorry not sorry but the stuff you put into your body goes into your breast milk.  Have a bag of kale instead–it’ll make the baby poop nicely too!

Note to self-take this out of the box I’m sending Oona and throw it away! Send a bag of kale instead! Send a jar of yeast too. She can spoon it over the kale.

The advice from the nurse was “Put the baby to your breast. Let him get used to it. It’ll be fine”First of all, I hate beer. Secondly, the nurse was spot on.

Lactation consultant recommended. 

Here’s my lactation advice:  Pour water into a one-liter bottle.  Take baby in your arms. Sit on comfy chair or sofa. Pull your shirt up. Put baby to your tittie.  Let baby drink. While baby is drinking, you drink the water. You’ll need it. There. Free lactation advice from Opinionated Grammy Cathe.

Coffee Breastfeeding Supplement?  Let’s think about new mommy for a moment here.  New mommy is tired. Opinionated Grammy Cathe is cleaning the house.

Opinionated Grammy Cathe will drive to Starbucks and get a strong coffee for ….Grammy Cathe.  New Mommy Oona can supplement the organic way with water while feeding my grandchild!

Have these lactation consultants ever had a baby for chrissakes? 

New Mommy Oona needsa glass of  WINE! What do you think the French did through all these centuries? Baby needs to learn at an early age what drinking in moderation means.  Throw this in the trash.

Opinionated Grammy Cathe is going to save Oona and all new mommies $34.99.  Take an old bra. Cut a hole in each nipple area. Stick the pumps through the holes. Pump away. You’re welcome!

You had me at “soothing for mom”. I do not want to visualize my daughter soothing her nipples. I’ll save you money. Buy a tube of original Chapstick and apply it to your nipples. You’re welcome!

All kidding aside, this is such an exciting time. And I’m ridiculously happy for Oona and Sam because they will make a great mommy and daddy.

As for me, it’s time to dispel the granny stereotype.

Have these women never heard of J. Crew, Lilly Pulitzer or Old Navy? Geez–even the horrific Chico’s would be better than what they are wearing!

Watch out—the new Grammy is about to arrive! Or rather Opinionated Grammy Cathe is about to arrive!

I hope that Opinionated Grammy Cathe will be the best grandma ever!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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52 Responses to Guess Who’s Gonna Be a Grandma????? I’m Joining the Grandma Club!

  1. Nancy says:

    Congrats…its the BEST. As you feel,….it was always our adult children’s decisions on whether they become parents…but so happy they chose too. I love the babies so much and thankful whenever I am able to be with them (and their parents)

  2. marsha57 says:

    And, you think you love that baby now? Just wait! I was lucky enough to be in the room when my first granddaughter was born. I was the videographer with strict instructions to stay away from certain places…no way I was doing that in the first place! But, from the first moment she was in my arms, an unbreakable bond was formed. I began as Grammy, became GayGay, and finally became Granny…not a choice I would have picked. Maybe it will evolve into Gran as the grands get older. You are going to be the best Grammy for that little nugget. As far as fashion…my granddaughter told me I shouldn’t wear ripped jeans until I bought her a pair! I keep wondering when I’m going to turn into that Betty Crocker version of grandma, but it hasn’t happened yet! Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations! And, a huge welcome to the club!

  3. Miss Bougie says:

    Oh, congratulations are in order. Such exciting times ahead! What a shame that you don’t live close to your daughter. Hopefully you’ll find a way to be with the bundle of joy as often as possible.

  4. Mary says:

    I am so delighted for you, Catherine! What wonderful, positive news in the midst of this pandemic! You will be a fantastic, fun Gran – not to mention, the most glamorous! I always look forward to your posts but I will be anticipating them ever more now. Enjoy the wonderful feeling and all the best to Oona and Sam 😀

  5. Sandra says:

    Congratulations, Cathy! you’ll be a wonderful Grandma. My grandchildren are 13 and 16 and live in NH 15 hours away, so I haven’t seen them in quite a while (due to Covid). It’s a pure love fest without the stress of parenting!

  6. suth2 says:

    Congratulations. The best is yet to come.

  7. Mary says:

    I am delighted for you, Catherine! It is wonderful to hear such lovely news in the midst of this pandemic. You will be a fantastic, fun Gran- not to mention, most stylish! I always look forward to your posts but I will be eagerly anticipating from now on!!

  8. cindyzatorski says:

    My mother was a real life Moira. Since I can’t pull it off with any finesse at all, I have carried on her “grandmother” name (no ordinary name for my mom)- I am Gamby and my daughters love it🥰

  9. Mary says:

    delighted for you, Catherine! It is wonderful to hear such lovely news in the midst of this pandemic. You will be a fantastic, fun Gran- not to mention, most stylish! I always look forward to your posts but I will be eagerly anticipating from now on!!

  10. Toni Soucie says:

    I feel your excitement, Cathe. When my daughter was pregnant the first time, I started shopping before we knew the sex of. the baby. By the time the baby shower was held, I amassed a large paper towel cardboard box of baby clothes which my daughter opened at the shower. It was unending. I had a ball those was seven months after I found out she was pregnant just preparing for my grandson and helping my daughter. That grandson is now 10 and my little guy is seven. I am blessed to live 12 minutes from them and have a bond that is so strong with both boys. After she had her first son, I decided to retire at 55 after working at the same job for 35 years. I watched both boys from the time they were four months old so my daughter could go back to work and I never regretted a second of it. I wish for you all the happiness and joy that I have with my grandsons and I know just based upon what you write, you that you are going to be an amazing, loving grandmother. Congratulations.

  11. marsha calhoun says:

    So much joy! Congratulations!

  12. Suzi says:

    So exciting. As “they” say. Grandchildren are the reward for having children. All the best to your daughter and son-in-law.

  13. Bev says:

    What wonderful news Cathe. I’ve been blessed with 2 grandchildren. I can’t believe the happiness and joy they’ve brought to our lives. I love them like my children, unconditionally. Your grandchild is going to be so lucky to have such an amazing lady for a grandmother. Best wishes to you and your daughter and son- in-law.

  14. Diane Stolz says:

    Congratulations Cathe! You described so perfectly all the same feelings of finding out that I had. I’m having a blast being a Grammy. You will too!

  15. budschik02 says:

    I am so excited for your family! You will love being a Grandma! Once when I was visiting my grandchildren when they were little, my daughter told my granddaughter no about something, so she toddled over to me and told me “Tell my mom you said yes, cuz you are the boss of her!” LOL, many, many stories to tell you…

    • Catherine says:

      Oh Joan. I want a granddaughter like yours! That little girl is smart! Out of the mouths of babes. And I hope that you gave her what she wanted! XOXOXOXO

  16. Ellie says:

    How wonderful! Mazel tov!

  17. lisa thomson says:

    OMG, congratulations Cathe!! Your excitement and happiness is shining through this whole post. It made me laugh/cry smile right through. You will be amazing! my mother wasn’t the best either and when my time comes, I’m sure I’ll have similar feelings. Although my daughter isn’t going to have kids, she’s mentioned. I got over that bomb. I think. LOL. Enjoy the excitement and the babe when she/he finally arrives. Sending you love.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Lisa. Thanks so much! Those feelings run deep. It’s odd–isn’t it? If my sons remain without children it’s cool. I’m just so darn excited and I will make sure I’ll be the best grandma I can be. Love right back atcha! XOOXOXOXO

  18. L Haller says:

    Congratulations. You’ll love being a grandma!

  19. Momcat says:

    Congratulations Gramma Cathe! In this awful year some wonderful news for you! All the best to your darling daughter and her Sam! My year started with the unanticipated early birth of grandson #2 who is now a fat & happy little guy. They change your life. And don’t worry about distance, grandparents these days have become experts at FaceTiming out of necessity even if the grands live around the corner because….COVID! I know it’s NOT the same as holding the little darlings but at least you can see them weekly. My girlfriend regularly FaceTimes her toddler granddaughter in California ( she’s in Canada) they play games and my friend is teaching her songs too. She says she sees her granddaughter more than she would if they lived closer as baby’s mom gets gramma to long distance entertain so Mom can make supper!

    • Catherine says:

      Ahhhhh Mae! thank you for such encouraging words. That FaceTime is going to be very well-used in this house! I’ll tell ya, when I received that news, it was as though the dark cloud of 2020 was lifted for a while. It IS the best news of this miserable year! XOXOXOXO

  20. Cathe says:

    I love that you’re to be a grandma and a great one at that! Such a lucky baby. Congratulations.

  21. Arabella says:

    This is the best news ever, thank you for sharing with us! I was a long distance Grammy to my one & only grandson. And although it would have been wonderful to have been in the same state, I will forever treasure the month long visits I was fortunate enough to enjoy and as he was older and able to travel by himself, my late husband and I could look forward to at least one month every Summer when our grandson would visit and get thoroughly spoiled. He is now a strapping 19 year old and is the apple of his grammies eye.

    • Catherine says:

      Arabella, that’s so beautiful. Trust me, as I spent summers with my grandparents I KNOW you and your late husband made a remarkably wonderful impact on his life! XOXOXOXOXOXO

  22. Thrilled for you and your family!

  23. Susan D says:

    I am so pleased for you. It will always be sure of a fun packed time with you. Mazeltov.
    Susan D

  24. Juliet says:

    Congratulations to you (and to Oona and Sam of course), hope Oona is keeping well – I can imagine this baby is going to be the most lucky baby not only are they going to be loved to infinity and beyond but you are going to be the most brilliant Grammy (I guess thats what those Grammy awards are really for). We werent the favourites of my grandparents – mum and my dads parents really didnt get along… anyway when my mum became a granny she was determined to be the best granny she could, and was once fretting to me about how she wasnt getting along so well with my teenage niece at the time and she said “Im struggling to like Bex as much as the others” and after thinking about it she remembered she had adored the younger Bex and then figured she and Bex would come through this stage together, Bex now looks back and thinks how much she needed her non-judgemental granny when things were rough… the thing is it is ok to have those phases when maybe you arent chiming but mum never ever let on any grandkid wasnt her absolute favourite – all favourites, but different types of favourite which made each kid know how important they were individually. If I am ever a granny I intend to be bad-granny – very bad-granny

    • Catherine says:

      Hey Juliet! I can’t ever imagine you being a bad granny. I’m trying to wrap my head around the fact that we are pretty far in distance but at least it’ll be quality time spent with baby when he/she arrives! XOXOXOXOXO

  25. Carole says:

    Congratulations to you all! Happy news, much needed in a crappy world right now! Stay safe x

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Carole and you have NO idea how truthful your comment is. We are so much in a crappy world right now–and finally somoe cheerful news! XOXOXOXO

  26. KathyL says:

    Wonderful news, congratulations to you and Oona and Sam. You’ll be a terrific grandmother. What fun! I’m green with envy 😊

  27. Cynthia Floor says:

    You are SOOO lucky to be relatively close in this trump virus time. My daughter, SIL and grandbaby are in Texas! Haven’t seen them since Christmas and he is growing fast . Killing me. I am “Mor-Mor”-Norwegian nickname for grandmother. Congrats-you are going to love it. And the big bonus -for people like us-is the shopping!

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Cyndy. Seriously. Ohio is like an hour’s plane ride which makes it great but I would prefer being ten minutes away! Still, it is closer than Texas! I like the Mor-Mor moniker! Oh, I can’t wait to really start the good shopping–after the gender is revealed. My husband sent her “Bringing up Bebe” raising your child the French way and she’s loving it! XOXOXOXOXO

  28. Cindylou says:

    Congratulations! Being a grandmother is the best. My daughter lives only a few minutes away and I see my granddaughter several times a week. And we FaceTime too. You’ll be able to do that. It’s absolutely wonderful being a grandparent.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Cindlou, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I am so envious that you are so close in distance to your daughter and granddaughter. It wasn’t in MY plans that ANY of my children would live far away from me–LOL. I’m definitely going to do the FaceTiime! XOXOXOXO

  29. cgcopy says:

    Congratulations, Catherine!

  30. Anne says:

    Congratulations!!! Catherine you will soon discover the explosive love you have for a grandchild! I can not describe to you the joy and strong, heart stirring love you will have for this baby. It is like no other love. Love on steroids! Lol! Cannot wait until your grandchild arrives and you experience the blessing of your daughter’s child. It is the best!!

    Anne

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Anne! And thank you! It’s very interesting what you say because that’s how I felt when each of my children were born. There was no love stronger and I imagine all those feelings will absolutely return when I hold that baby o’ mine! XOXOXOXOXO

  31. PennyC from Wantagh says:

    Congratulations! I don’t post often but i keep up with your blog and your YouTube.
    What an exciting and wonderful time to look forward to!
    I am going to do the MOTB thing next year (in Hawaii yet) and I’ve already started planning for that exciting occasion. First, I need a bigger suitcase!

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Penny! Wantagh Long Island!!!! Congratulations to YOU! Wow! A Wedding in Hawaii–I pray that our travel bans are finally over so you can enjoy being a MOTB with all you’ve got! XXOXOXOXOXO

  32. Kate says:

    Cathe, you made me cry then laugh! I’m so happy you had Grandma close to you and that you were able to spend lots of time with her. Loved her so much even though we lived so far from her. Treasured the time I had with her. You’ll be a terrific and most loving grandma! The baby will adore you! Hope Oona takes all your advice! Lol! Love, Kate

  33. Hello, I’m glad I found you through the Reader’s section for you are hilarious. My 2 grandsons now 4 and 5 years old live in Texas while my husband and I live in Vermont. I’m so happy for you being a new grandma -to- be. I remember those first days of excitement pride and joy. Thank goodness my son has kids for the daughter looks forward to being a ‘spinster Aunt’ and I quote. All that breast feeding stuff o m g. I had so much breast milk if I ate or drank any of that crap my boobs would of exploded right off my chest! I remember walking in on my daughter-in-law while she was breast pumping backing out of the room as fast as I could!
    Congratulations on being a new Grandma! You think you love your child just wait! My grandma was the greatest as well with me remembering jelly beans and strawberry shortcake. She was my best friend.
    Take care,
    ~Sheryl~

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Sheryl!! thank you so much for a great and touching comment! LOL. My sons feel as though they are “off the hook” since Oona is pregnant. In two weeks from now they will reveal the gender. And let me tell you, there will be no gender-neutra clothing on my behalf. If the baby is a boy. I’m going boy clothing shopping. If the baby is a girl–watch out. She’s gonna be the prissiest little thing you’ve ever seen!! XOXOXOXO

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