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Drenched and Entrenched. The Search for the Perfect Trench Coat!

Classic dressing is pretty much my style. Non-fussy. Basic. I know what I like.  I know what I want. What I want is a plain old classic Trench Coat!

I want a lady version of this coat–just not as widely double-breasted!

I did inherit steal a “drench coat” (my personal term for raincoat) from Bonaparte. It is his uncle Yves’ clay-colored drench that is many, many years old. The coat is missing its belt, and, on me is an oversized delight.  This drench coat lends itself well to layering blazers and heavy sweaters underneath. For me—it is that perfect winter coat. I also love the longer length.

My “drench” coat. I couldn’t make the photo bigger because it was way too out of focus.  But it isn’t a trench! Very French. Very Drench. My French Drench Coat!

But I really wanted that classic trench. I covet that khaki colored item of outerwear that will turn me into a mysterious, glamorous woman. And the trench will offer a “devil-may-care” attitude about the casual way I gloriously put myself together.

Yes. I want to be just like Audrey in my trench!

I want a trench that can be worn in a coquettish way—like Bardot. Like on a bed!

Bardot and I could pass for trench twins!  Sort of. OK. Not at all–but I can still have my delusions. Besides we both have trench coats!

My requirements were pretty specific.  I didn’t want to spend a fortune because it wouldn’t be worn on a constant basis. Oh. It would be worn regularly during the spring because it’s incredibly damp and rainy here in the Northeast.  It would hang in the closet during the summer because the atmosphere gets way too hot and humid to be bothered with a coat of any kind—even in a thunderstorm!

I also wanted a bit of a modification on the classic men’s double-breasted version.  A true double-breasted coat is very busy and fussy for my body.  A simpler version would do.

I wanted a longer belt because I want to either tie the belt around my waist or tie it in the back of the coat.

A darker khaki would be better for me due to the fact I’m pretty much the biggest natural slob on earth. I spill things on myself. I bump into things. Dirt follows me.

I am the female version of Pig Pen. Perhaps my name should be changed to Pig Penny! Light colors don’t work for me for obvious reasons!

Good detailing and good construction would also be wanted. I want a lined coat because in these damp and chilly springs and autumns the lining can give a bit of warmth and protect the coat.

Nothing with a hood either. Good God!  When Bonaparte and I were in DC a couple of weeks ago, we stopped into TJ Maxx.  The store had a display of coats that were advertised as “trench” but they weren’t.  The coats were hooded—which I think is just awful. Hoods belong on jackets—not coats.  They also looked cheaply constructed. Coats with hoods = Drench coats. Not Trench coats.

This is NOT a trench. It is a hooded drench jacket/coat by (ugh) Michael Kors…

Another fake Michael Kors trench. It has a hood. That makes it a regular rain coat or “drench” coat. Hoods on a coat like this ruin the look.

Next stop was the B & M J. Crew.  Crew had the “Washed Cotton Trench” on display. Let me tell you. This coat resembles nothing like the washed cotton trench on their website.  This real life model was a mass of wrinkles draped on a hanger.  Although I do like casual clothing to stop short of perfect, this coat was just a mess. And it wasn’t a good mess either.  I wanted something a bit more constructed.

This is a photo of the J. Crew “Washed Cotton Trench”. This is fake advertising for the coat because in real life it is nothing more than a mass of wrinkles.

I know, I know. I sound incredibly fussy and particular.  But I have a vision in my mind of what I want and I won’t settle.

Anyway, Bonaparte had the afternoon off from seeing clients yesterday and he asked, insisted forced me to get out of my pajamas, get dressed and accompany him to the outlets.   I think he’s starting to worry about my emotional state because he told me that if I saw anything I wanted or needed to let him know.

Our first stop was J. Crew Factory because he loves the socks sold there.  He’s quite whimsical in his fun choice of patterned socks!

That’s the coat I wanted.  The perfect trench for me–and I found it at J. Crew Factory!

I started to mope look around and there, hanging up on a wall display was the trench coat that I envisioned!   I swear the coat was illuminated and I heard music!  (Oh wait. I did hear music.  The store was playing Indy CD’s.)   I walked over, in a complete trench trance, to the hung coats.  The first coat on the rack was a size 00. WTF wears that size anyway?  The next size was a 2—I guess that’s the bulimic size.   The last coat on the rack was a 10.  It was a great fit.   With the 40% off the price of $178.00, the final cost would be $106.80.  A terrific value for a coat that I would be wearing for many years to come.

Bonaparte loved the way it looked even more than I did and I’m happy to say that I have finally added this classic piece to my wardrobe.

Other than the fit, what’s to like?

The color. It isn’t a light khaki. It’s more of a deeper tan which I like. The dirt that follows me will blend.

I love the darker color because for my natural born slobness, spills and dirt won’t show up as much!

The detailing.  The stitching around the pockets and trim is even and tight. The belt holes are reinforced with a ton of stitching.

The stitching is nice and tight and even. It gives the coat a richer look.

The little holes for the belt buckle are reinforced with a ton of stitching.

The buttons.  They are a good tortoise shell color.  The buttons don’t look cheap and won’t have to be replaced.

The buttons don’t look cheap…

And they are sewn on quite strongly. I HATE when buttons are practically basted on–it’s so shoddy. These babies aren’t coming off any time soon!

The back.  I am digging the back flap it lays nicely against the shoulder area.

That flap won’t be flipping in the wind.  This is a well-constructed trench.

It’s fully lined and drapes nicely on the body.

The coat has a nice looking lining which will be added protection!

Anything I don’t like?

The pleats in the collar when it is folded down.  I noticed that when I got home but it doesn’t make the coat returnable.  My hair is long enough to hide the pleats and when the collar is popped up its smooth—and I like the stitching underneath the collar.

Just a small detail I noticed when I got home, but  it isn’t a deal breaker!

Finding this  coat has given me hope that at some point, maybe J. Crew will return to the classic roots that it once had, rather than trying to be the kid who tries too hard. Listening to me Jenna Lyons???

But it isn’t just that.  Wearing a trench coat gives off a vintage, cool, film noir, mysterious kind of vibe..

See this ’60’s look?

I can do that with my trench coat and Hermes scarf!

In my trench coat, I can channel Kate Moss….

The heavier version! OK/ The older version too!

Wearing a trench gives off one of those “Oh, I’m not concerned about how I look” tones–but you just know you look great in that trench!

I wanna be a cross between Liv Tyler and the wonderful Charlotte Rampling!

Look–I’m both. My jeans and shirt are like Liv’s but my coat and my age are closer to Charlotte’s!

Even on those days where you just want to dress lazy, the trench will make you look better.

I can even be more comfortable when I channel Columbo.

My inner and outer slob!

So yeah.  I’m so glad that my basic wardrobe is now more basic and more complete and I’ve got that eternally simple trench coat. Who’d a thunk I found it at J. Crew Factory????

I’m telling you–if you are in want of a classic trench,  this is one coat that I highly recommend! Get your Film Noir on!!!

Now what song could be more appropriate for wearing a trench coat on a dark, foggy night?  Picture Bogart and Becall. “As Time Goes By”.  XOXOXOXO!!!

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