Come Get Ready With Me. How I Put My Gorgeous Face On!

It’s that hour of the morning.  Coffee has been gloriously sipped and I’m now awake for the day.  Not much is going on.  It is biting 15 degrees outside.  I need to do some grocery shopping, baking and writing.

Ahhhh. I simply cannot function if I do not have my morning cawfee!!!

Is it that important to get out of bed at this early hour and get ready and dressed?  Yes. It is.  Because the simple act of putting my face on is the one act that will make me feel good about myself.  I like the whole process of “getting ready”.

For me, it is methodical.  I’m careful about what goes onto my face.  I’m thoughtful about what hair I’ll wear and I ponder which clothes to wear.

It keeps me from feeling bad. It’s empowering!!!!

So, come with me.  And I’ll show you how I get ready.  I started at exactly 7:20 in the morning.  By 8:20 I was dressed. This is my hour to polish off my shine!

Watch how I go from…well, THAT–to THIS!!!!

Face washed and moisturized.  Primer goes on first. Today I’m using Hard Candy Primer. At eight bucks a pop, this is better than many of the high-end primers I’ve used in the past.

The tiniest amount of this primer is all you need for a great finish.  I let it “set” for about five minutes before moving on! 

And while primer is soaking in, I’ll treat myself to a game of Candy Crush!

Bonaparte can’t stand when I play these games. He said it isn’t normal. OBVIOUSLY!!  I’m not normal–what did he expect???

Now it’s time to brush Well-Rested in the blue corners of my eyes. Oh well, I’ll just swipe the brush all over my eye.

I’ve written about Well-Rested way too many times but it’s such a great product.  I can see that I need yet another repurchase. I’m not a powder person but this powder is so finely milled and it does a great job of concealing that blue tint that you get by the eyes!

Oh..almost forgot to condition my lips!!  It’s funny because at first, I wasn’t crazy about this product but now–I use it every single day!  It does a great job of conditioning dry lips.  Skin Actives Liquid Rainbow. The can be purchased on the Skin Actives website!

I’m not one to go crazy with bright eye shadow so I stick with neutrals. Today I’m using a very neutral and very inexpensive palette by Revolution. It was all of seven bucks at Ulta.

As you can see, I’ve hit pan on a couple of the shadows in this palette. The shadows are extremely silky-textured and very well-pigmented.

A softer and more natural look. Maybe I’ll add more!

The brows.  I need to replenish this Dip Brow pomade from Anastasia.  Not only have I hit pan, but I’ve had it for so many years that it probably has makeup mites in it and they are probably eating what is left of my brows off my face.  But this brow product is just so gooooood!

This brow product retails for $18 at Sephora. It’s a great deal considering I’ve had this for a few years and have hit pan recently.  I’m sure this is so old that it’s expired and contaminated–I’ll keep using it!

Uh oh.  Thank Goodness my guru Wayne Goss doesn’t subscribe to this blog. He would be so angry with me because I still need to blend my eye shadow and clean up my brows.  Don’t worry Wayne, I’ll fix this mess!

Next is mascara.  I’m reaching for the first one I grab.  Today it’s Lash Paradise. Not my favorite. Everyone makes a big deal out of this $9.99 dupe for Too-Faced Better Than Sex mascara. First of all, NO mascara is better than sex. OK?  Secondly, this stuff dries out after the first two weeks and it flakes—but I bought it, so I’m using it.

 

Lash Paradise. Hey, this has a huge following of mascara lovers. I’m not one of them.

Eyeliner after mascara!  I’m using Tarte’s liquid liner. The tip of this is excellent. I think this is the ManEater liner. I can’t remember.

I’m not a big fan of Tarte Cosmetics–but the brand’s eyeliner and some of the mascaras are great. This liner is one of them!

Now—in between each “step” I reach for this little spray bottle. It was once filled with product to set my makeup.  I refilled with tap water and spray my face for hydration.  The indoor heat during the winter months wreaks havoc on my skin and dries it to no end.

Truth be told, I don’t know how much cucumber, green tea and vitamins were in this before I used it up–but now there’s tap water and I can’t tell the difference.

 

Oops!  Time to get back to Candy Crush.  I love hearing the Candy Crush man talking dirty to me.  He tells me I’m “Tasty”!

Is it his voice constantly telling me I’m tasty or is it the fact he’s in uniform?  But I’m Candy Crushin’ on Mr. Candy Crush!

Back to the face.

Lately, I’ve been getting into this color corrector palette from e.l.f.  Surprisingly, it’s an e.l.f. product that has a good amount of…. product!  And the creamy texture of the correcters is very mature skin friendly.  I dab a bit of green on my nose and cheeks because that’s where the redness is.  Then I dab a bit of yellow under the eyes.

I have such a passive/aggressive, love/hate relationship with e.l.f. but this is a good product. I think it’s $6.00 or $5.00.  I like this. 

Time to see how many people unfollowed me on Instagram.  Honestly, between being unfollowed by people I thought were my “friends” and those who follow-to-unfollow, my fingers are kept busy unfollowing them back!   A friend of mine unfollowed me yesterday because she had too many followers.  I unfollowed her back. I have the app! She’s still my friend too!

Seriously, I can’t stand that.  It is so unethical.

Back to the face.

Foundation time.  Today I’m wearing Wet n’ Wild’s Photofocus foundation.  The availability of shades isn’t that great—so I blend two of them together.  At less than five bucks for a bottle, this is still a fabulous find because it is one of the best foundations out there.  It’s matte but doesn’t dry to a chalky or drying consistency. It bends in so well to your skin.  I use a large spoon brush to blend this in because it does a better job than a blending sponge.

A combo of Nude Ivory and Peach Natural make for a good foundation shade for me.  Hands down, this Photofocus is one of the best foundations ever!

Ugh.  The lighting in the room is horrific but trust me, things ARE starting to look pulled together!

But, I blend really, really well. Then when I’m done, I spray my face with the water before moving on to the next step which is…

This–I love this concealer. It glides on and is so hydrating and not drying.  It hides what you need to be hidden and brightens at the same time.  Seven bucks at Walmart!

Concealer.  I don’t even know why this is concealer it’s more like a brightener but his Maybelline Age Rewind is better than a ten-dollar meal at Taco Bell—it’s that good!  Applying this over the foundation also ensures that my redness will be securely hidden.

Concealer to brighten my cheeks, nose and forehead!

Contour after concealer.  OMG. I love contour.  I started using it about two years ago.  My first was the contour/highlighter duo from Marc Jacobs Beauty—but as my skin become drier, I switched from powder to cream. And my two favorite contours are the Fenty MatchStix in Amber and Charlotte Tilbury’s Ibiza. Both are super creamy and do a great job. Today I’m using Ibiza. And, might I add, this Ibiza stick is hard to come by. I waited over a month for Nordstrom to restock and today I see that it is sold out on the Charlotte Tilbury site!

I’m very concerned.  I just went on Nordstrom’s website. They are out of Ibiza. WTF?  It’s sold out on Tilbury’s site?  Why don’t they start making more.  I should have bought two of these but at $45 per………

Dammit. I’m so unpopular. I got another unfollow on Instagram.  Oh well, back to my face!

I’m a living work of art–or I look like Howdy Doody’s mother–take your pick.  Don’t worry, all this contour will be perfectly blended with a sponge!I’ll tell you, this Real Techniques blending sponge is great–and Chippy hasn’t eaten it yet!

Blush—isn’t it funny how we cover up our natural redness only to eventually apply various shades of blush?   I’m using another Charlotte Tilbury product—Beach Stick in Las Salinas. It’s a nice flush of color!

The Las Salinas Beach Stick gives a nice flush.  Also $45.  Tilbury has great products but they are so expensive!

Blending the blush in with a brush.  My hands get such a workout from blending all these products into my face. I wish my body got such a workout!

More water to the face.  Grabbing my NYX highlighter a bit on the apples of the cheeks (Thanks to reader Hipchick66 for that tip) and on the nose.  Almost done.

NYX Bright Idea highlighter is fantastic. It gives the faintest highlight and illuminates the face so subtly.  Goes on creamy too!  It was eight dollarzzzzzz!

Lips are last.  I apply lipstick after getting dressed because when I put a sweater on over my head, lipstick always transfers on.  Today is three colors.

First I line my lips with NYX Wonder Pencil…

 

elf lip pencil, NYX matte lipstick and Revolution lip gloss. All lower-end brands…


The NYX  Matte lipstick in Nude is applied first…

….followed by a fill-in with the elf pencil and then..

the Revolution lip gloss to finish it off..

A berry, berry, nice lip look!

That’s not the end–now I’m ready for hair!

Today it’ll be Model Model’s Shine Meadow, A longer length non-style, style!

I’m all blended and hair on. I’m ready to roll!

Hair in place and I’m good to go.  Let me turn my phone off.  That Candy Crush Man is making me excited and the last thing I need is for my wonderful husband to accuse me of having an affair with Mr. Candy Crush—he already feels I’m addicted to this phone as it is!

Overall, it took an hour to achieve this look. However, I did dawdle with the Candy Crush man and Instagram!  

And the new velvet pants I purchased at Old Navy, A plaid blazer, a scarf, no socks even in the snow, a hat and a positive attitude and I’m off to run the day’s errands!

The cordovan loafers match the pants. Cordovan–why isn’t that lovely color more popular? I didn’t match the shoes to the bag today…

And I’m off!

Thank you for joining me in my endeavor to get ready!  I also want to add–I still have lines on my face–no amount of makeup is going to erase those lines and wrinkles–but the key is to BLEND that foundation and other products so that they don’t look cakey–because if the products look dry and cakey, it’ll accentuate the lines we have.

Anyway, when I arrived at Wegmans, the song “Escape” came on the radio. You know it as The Pina Colada Song.  I have to say, it’s one of my favorite pop songs of all time. So I stayed in the car to listen to it.  Do you ever do that?  A song  comes on the radio that you love and it comes on as you are ready to park your car. Do you stay to listen?  I do!! XOXOXOXO!!!

 

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Women Want Empowerment. But Only if It’s Beauty or Fashion-Related

Last week I wrote a blog post based around the language that the president of these United States used. Here’s a link to the post in case you didn’t see it:  I Am A Shitholer

This wasn’t written as a “political” post. It was merely written because the language used was horrible language for a president to use.   He used this language to describe countries and a continent. And it seems that we are normalizing this vile behavior.

Really???  A World Leader using that kind of vocab?  Not cool. Not cool at all.

My post also went on to discuss immigrants and how we can all trace our roots back to countries that could be described, at one time or another, as the word the president used.

My immigrant grandmother. Now SHE was the epitome of  fierce and empowerment!!

I shared the post I wrote on a “women’s” Facebook Group that I belong to. It is a group where bloggers and non-bloggers can “meet” and “discuss”.  This group pontificates being “Fierce” and that “Women need to have a voice” and the group is all about empowerment. It is also targeted for the mature woman—the “over 40” woman.

My post was deleted—it offended a few “members”-two of whom aren’t even bloggers.

Now—before I go any further with this post, I want it to be known that the creator of the group was very supportive of my post.  She “got” it.  She realized that the post was, in fact, about the language the president used.

And a few of the members were also supportive of my blog post.  However, the ones that weren’t really started to throw some major snark toward me.

women fighting GIF by Feminist Fight Club

Yes. You DO fight–especially when someone speaks up about important issues!

Rather than take the liberty of just scrolling past my post, they took it upon themselves to throw shade and name call.  Among the names  I was called were “liberal”, “racist” and I was told that I was basically a “white woman pandering to non-whites”.  When I shot back, I was labeled “mean spirited”. Seriously.  To name call is bad—but to call me a “liberal” is off-the-charts nasty.  I’m a humanist!

A short time later I received a phone call from the creator of this group to let me know that my post was deleted.  She explained that although she understood where my post was coming from, the administrators of the group wanted the post off—because political and religious posts should not be discussed in the group. Mind you now,  others turned this language-based post into a political one. Not me.

And to tell you the truth, I thought it was very kind of her to call me. She didn’t have to do that.  And I truly believe she felt bad taking the post down. She’s a very nice woman.

After mulling it over, a few days later, I decided to leave the group.  I did it in a silent manner. I didn’t go onto the Facebook page and act all victimized and hurt and trauma-ridden with “I’m leaving, I’m done, blah, blah, blah….”.  I merely clicked “unjoin” or “unfollow”—whatever it is.  And went on my merry way!

project runway GIF by Lifetime

Thankfully there was no door to hit me on the way out!!!

That group gave me the opportunity to meet a handful of women bloggers who are great writers and I continue to enjoy their blogs—they brighten my day.  But it would be unethical for me, and I would not be true to my beliefs, if I stayed in a group that refers to themselves as “fierce” and “having a voice” if that real voice cannot be said or heard.  Ain’t my thing.

And this whole incident made me think—do women really want empowerment?  Do they really want a voice?  Do they want to discuss harsh words that a president uses?  Do they care about others—or do they only pretend to care? Do they only want the smoke and mirrors and the illusion of a perfect lifestyle and perfection all the way around?

mean girls GIF

..if you don’t talk about makeup and fashion!

And that’s what it’s all about.  Women can be empowered only if other women decide it’s okay and how they can be empowered.  We women are our own worst enemies and the mean girls grow into mean women!

Red heels and stilettos are empowering.

These are my red empowerment shoes.

Women who discuss politics are not empowering.

My political icon Rachel Maddow.  She speaks her mind–but will women like high school Rachel better than the Rachel of today?  I mean–will they find high school Rachel more fierce?  I like short-haired Rachel!

Makeup is fierce.

Hey–with my face all made up and my fake hair.  I. Am. Fierce.

To speak your mind is not fierce.

This is Frances Farmer. She was a very liberal and outspoken actor.  She spoke her mind. She empowered herself and was lobotomized.

Those who follow this blog know that I speak my mind.  You know what I’m passionate about.  You also are well-aware that I live for my fake hair, my fake tan, my love of makeup and pointy-toed, cleavage-baring heels.  You also know that if J. Crew was a real person, I would be married to him—in my dreams.

A fierce woman can never have enough fake hair…

..or fake tan–even if it’s applied badly!

I also love my overabundance of clothes and love to share my style tips with you. It’s a lot of fun!

Hey…check out my style!  I’m the empowering style icon!

Hey Girl! Don’t go away!!  I’ll even tell you what bra to buy!  Now THAT’s fierce!

My home is my castle—and it isn’t grandiose, nor is it ridiculously huge—it’s the empty-nest chateau that my Frenchman and I built together.  And I love sharing my home with you.

Come–sit down and we’ll discuss important things.  Like can I wear pink with red?

My travels?  I’m blessed and damned lucky.  Going to France with Bonaparte is always a fun adventure.

My favorite little alcove in Antibes!  I love the casual life!!

I’m a happy little clam when my grown kids come home to visit!  I still relish in being “mom”!!!

Our infamous Philly Cheese steak competition..

mean girls cool mom GIF

That’s right.  I’m the cool mom!  I’m out standing in my field!

As I write this, I’ve got two pound cakes in the oven for my husband’s pleasure.  And when those cakes are baked, I’ll be making gougeres to put away in the freezer so we can enjoy them on the weekends with our aperitifs.  My cooking skills are fierce!

One cake for the rest of this week.  One is now in the freezer for next week!  I can’t have any because I’m still TRYING to be good and eat healthier!

I don’t need a group to validate my fierceness or empowerment.  I can empower myself.  I can be free to speak my mind–about any issues while still retaining my most feminine self!  And, I don’t need to answer to anyone but me!

I want to thank each and every one of you who enjoy my voice.  Sometimes you disagree with me—and that’s fine because you never punch below the belt.

Here’s a vase of flowers to thank you for always allowing me to speak my mind!

In this little community of Atypical60, we always agree to disagree.  We keep our differences kind and respectful.  I’ve even had readers reach out to me via e-mail to tell me I went too far—and in the end, we iron it all out.

So that’s about it for my little rant.   I love my blog—its my baby! I love you.  I try to keep things light—but every now and then, I’ll get a bit passionate about certain subjects and certain people. It’s because I have a voice—and so do you!!

But lately, I’m wondering just what  do women want?  Especially the mature woman.  They claim empowerment and fierceness and speak of having your own voice–but sadly, that isn’t true. I suppose the mature woman is as deeply shallow as her younger counterparts!

Let me go—I’m working on a very important blog post about putting my face on!!!  I think you’ll love it!!

In the meantime, here’s a little song from way back.  Do you remember the song “Make Your Own Kind of Music” by the fierce and empowering Cass Elliot?  Well, I do—and I’ll keep marching to the beat of my own drum and I hope you do too!!!

 

Thank you for your support and for being a part of this blog!! XXOXOXO!!!

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On the Hunt for the January Sales. Get Your Wallets and Lets Go!

There really isn’t much that I need-or want for that matter at the present time.  However, the January Sales always pique my interest because there’s always something that I end up buying. And—the purchases are usually with me for a long, long time!

You may or may not need that article of clothing–but treat yourself to something that you could use down the line!

Being every nuance of the blazer girl, I find that January is a great time to purchase that special blazer or suiting jacket that you’ve perhaps been eyeing at the beginning of the season and found it didn’t fit into your budget at the time or you just never got around to making the purchase.

J. Crew’s Dover blazer is that one for me. Back in September, I picked up a Navy Dover blazer for half the $198. retail price. This month I picked up the dark tan/light brown (whatever color it is) one for a grand total of $59.99. The price was right and the neutral color lends itself well to three-season dressing. Dressed up or down.  It’s a win-win situation.

I’m a huge fan of J. Crew’s Blazers–you know that so well from all my blog posts!  The Dover is such a classically cut, double-breasted beauty.  I love this neutral brown.  

Made in China, the fabric is all wool and it is such a lightweight wool that it is a perfect three-season blazer.

I love J. Crew’s workmanship and detailing.  The simple button is well reinforced. The clean stitching around the pockets.  The satiny stiped lining and the little buttoned pocked in the lining.  It’s so worth the $59.99 I paid for this and I’ll have it for years.

With these inexpensive black leggings and black tee, this blazer takes the “at home” clothes to another level. I can leave the house like this–all due to a blazer!

And it goes so well with this leopard wrap/collar!

The color of the blazer will go well when I wear dark hair and when I go lighter!  A great January purchase!

I also, got ridiculously lucky at Primark.  When doing “field research” for my previous post about leopard prints, I came across racks of coats that were priced at $20. Twenty dollars!  I saw this oversized red coat and just couldn’t resist.  It is so well made and the simple cut gives it such a luxe look! For those who are looking for a coat, and not an everyday one that’ll get a ton of wear, check out more affordable clothing stores because you never know what treasures you’ll find!

At $20, I had to have this coat!

Oops moment!  I THOUGHT the coat was a US size 8 but it wasn’t.  Primark has universal sizing on their clothing.  The coat, however, was so oversized that the 4  is a perfect fit.  Anything larger then the coat would have been wearing me.  The photo on the right lists where the coat is made and the fabric–this coat can also be washed.

A bit of the coat’s detailing.  There is only one closure, a snap, on the coat.  The snap is very well reinforced–it’s staying put. A good sign.  The photo on the left shows the pocket–it’s hard to see but the pocket is sewn very close to the coat–which is also a good sign!

A better view of the pocket in this photo…

I love the simple lines of this coat. Not fussy.  Plain.  And the length–I can wear a shorter skirt or a knee length skirt without a hem sticking out.

This coat also has a bit of the oversized Eighties vibe….

Don’t pay attention to the really, REALLY bad job I did tanning my legs yesterday. I was in a rush.  I’m living proof that Haste makes Waste!

But–it also reminds me a bit of this coat my mother wore in the 1950’s. It’s the simplicity!

My mom, Germaine, on the right with my Aunt Tessie on the left. Ozone Park, Queens–in the 1950’s! 

I can also do a monochromatic look with red shoes and my red Longchamp bag with this coat!

For dressing up, I can wear my George Costanza hat with this coat.  The hat is an old Primark find. I paid $5.00 for it either last year or the year before.

Overall, this coat is a winner!

And this scarf will go so well with it.  A scarf with any more red would be overkill!  

Old Navy also had a ton of stuff marked down.  I picked up a pair of velvet Pixie Pants for $9.97 and a navy brocade pair for $8.47. In addition, I had a $5.00 rewards coupon which brought the price of the total purchase down more.  Here’s a look at the pants.

A great buy at $9.97.  Product information on the right.

The pants are a faux velvet of sorts–maybe brushed corduroy?  Whatever, they were a great buy.

The pants can be worn very casually with loafers, or for a more polished look with heels!

I also want to add that Old Navy’s Pixie Pants are well constructed.  Zipped in front, the closure has two metal clasps and a button.  Note–below I paired the pants with a plaid schoolboy jacket from J. Crew.  The plaid’s color is a bit more of a red than a true burgundy but the jacket and pants do look great together. I love this blazer with the pants.

This blazer is always worn with jeans–but not anymore. I love the way the blazer looks with these pants!

The fit of these pants is fabulous.  Hey. I’m curvy–I got hips and the pockets don’t “stick out” like so many others do when you have hips. Curvy gals–you know what I mean!!

I can’t help myself. I’m such a sucker for burgundy and green together. It’s very wintery and warm to me.

The ankle length is absolutely perfect too.  I’m not a fan of pants that are too long.  An added plus–the bottom hem of the pants isn’t too tight. 

Overall, these pants were well worth the under ten dollar price. They are versatile, the fit is great and the fabric is more luxe than you can imagine!

Next are the brocade pants.  Now–I’m not a “print” person, but like the fancy gold and black Pixie pants I purchased at Old Navy before Christmas, I did see these as well.  The black jacquard on navy pants was subtle–it wasn’t too much for my taste.  And the price, at the time was $39.99 for this pair.  It came as a surprise to see them marked down to $8.47, and into the dressing room they came.

Now–let it be known.  When shopping at Old Navy, and many stores these days, sizes aren’t consistent. Whereas the burgundy pants fit perfectly, the brocade pants were a bit on the snug side.  I did try a size 10 but the 10 was way too big.  I have some holiday weight to lose so I went with the pants anyway and I’m glad that I did. There is a bit of stretch in them and as I wore them, they became slightly stretched out and more comfortable.

These pants.  Paired with a Navy Tippi sweater from J. Crew and black heels, this is really a great office look that can switch over to a night out with no change!

The pants stretched out just a tad to give a much better fit.  This ankle length though. I wish all pants were this length!

And on a curvy frame, these pants are very flattering.

This photo offers a better look at the fabric.  These pants will wear very well for all seasons! And the print–so subtle!

That fake tan–hey, maybe Chippy just licked it off !

Another thumbs up–for the pants!

Is there anything you are looking for that you might have missed the boat on in the beginning of the season?  Are you looking for an investment item or a good pair of boots (don’t buy Tory Burch boots–you’ll regret it) or a good bag?  Now’s the time to be on the hunt.  Get your ammunition–comfortable shoes and your wallet–and carry on!!!

I can’t stop thinking about this Duran Duran song today.  Hungry Like the Wolf.  You might be hungry like a wolf for a great sale item! What say you?  Have you shopped the January sales yet–there’s still time!!!

 

Posted in J. Crew, Old Navy, Primark, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 17 Comments

Wearing Leopard For The More Tame, Than Wild Woman!

Leopard.  It’s everywhere.  And I mean everywhere!

It’s been around for a while—and at this point, I don’t see it as a trend, but I look at it as a neo-neutral.  I mean, come on—look at the colors—brown, black, tan—even white is  thrown into the mix.  All neutral colors—how can you not love a leopard print?

Image result for lEOPARD

Hey girlfriend–don’t get your knickers in a twist. I’m not gonna wear YOUR skin. I’m all about the fake!  Just take a look at my hair!

Now—mind you, I’m not big on “prints” in my clothing.  Floral prints remind me of tablecloths or grandma’s curtains.  Other prints are just way “too-too” for me.  Other than plaids and stripes, I’m a solids girl.

Many women will think this is a “darling” dress–but for me it’s just too busy and reminds me of…

…this floral tablecloth that I have. I happen to like this floral print because you can’t notice the stains!

Ohhhh…I do have a pair of gold and black brocade fancy pants that I absolutely love. In fact, I purchased them before this past Christmas and they are now in my collection of festive holiday wear.

My festive Old Navy fancy pants–about as wild as I get!

I’ll stick to a basic, simple, classic color scheme and let textures and a couple of accessories add that something extra! And believe me, I’m not much of an accessory person so I really do keep it simple!

I keep it simple.  Solid colors and a fun accessory like this yellow necklace.  That’s enough for me.

It’s a safe bet to say that there are a  number of women like me.  You love wearing great clothes that are classic and timeless, but you want you clothes to be a reflection of your personality. You prefer subtle rather than “in-your-face”.

But I gotta admit—I’ve got a soft spot for the leopard print.  I love it—and sometimes, I think this wonderful animal print can be overkill.  But then again, it all depends how you wear it, what your taste is and what your style is.

If you’re more on the tame side, you want just a splash.  If you’re on the wild side—more is more!

I’m on the tame side and for me, and those like me, simpler the better.

I’ve seen a plethora of leopard jackets and coats online but many are offered from online companies that I would be cautious to purchase from and many are sold on eBay.  The fact is, I would want to see what I’m purchasing IRL when it comes to buying a leopard print jacket.  It’s on my list of things to buy but since it is a trendy item, I don’t want to spend a ton of money.  I’ve been searching, in vain, for a while. And even with the January sales going on now, the elusive Leopard print jacket/coat I’m searching for remains a dream.

I LOVE this coat from Fashion Nova but would be hesitant to order–sizes could run very small, IMHO.  But, if I did have a leopard coat, this is what I have in mind.

Let’s take a look of what’s out there and a look at how we tame fashionistas can wear Leopard.

I went to King of Prussia Mall yesterday in search of, perhaps, one item that would satisfy my desire for a leopard accessory.  Here’s what I saw..

I stopped by Chico’s to see if any of the military jackets I saw online were in store. None were. But I saw these leopard-print jeans  I have to admit that they are really adorable but  I like the leggings I ordered much better.

H & M was well-stocked on this little leopard print clutch.  It looked cheap–if you’re gonna do leopard, make sure it doesn’t look cheap.

Next stop–Old Navy.   These are marked $19.99 but are on sale for $4.99. At $4.99 these look tacky –the “gold” tie just makes the slippers look worse.

Another sale item–leopard ballet flats. No. The cut of the shoe is awful. Had there been room for toe cleavage and the toe area narrower, these would not be that bad.

Honest opinion here. I LOVED these gloves at Forever 21. At $5.00 and IRL, they looked much pricier.  They were “one-size fits all”.  That one size must be for toddlers because I couldn’t even get the gloves on my hand. Too bad because these were great!

Last of all, I spotted a cute pair of leopard print heels at DSW.  If I was back in an office environment, these would have come home with me!

Gotta say, I dig these shoes!  

So–did I end up getting anything?  Yes!  I purchased a very thin leopard belt at Old Navy. The belt was $3.99. I also picked up a fake leopard “collar” at Forever 21. The collar was $7.00 in a twofer.  I think I’ll send the second one to Oona!

The faux leopard collar. Chippy is confused–he thinks its a toy for him. But it’s mine!

There is a reinforced slit at one end and the other end slides through.  A great buy–and two for seven bucks! This is very well made for the low price!

I added the very thin leopard print belt to my collection of leopard accessories.  My leopard print trimmed gloves and the wider belt from Nine West–that belt is about ten years old!

So–how does one wear this leopard print in a tame fashion?

Here’s the fabulous leopard collar one end pulled through and…

…pulled over to the side. I’m wearing this with a black shirt and black leggings.  Sticking to an all-black or all dark brown color palette with this collar really showcases the fun of the collar while allowing the rest of the outfit to stay away from the competition!

Plaid may be my favorite color, but hands down, THIS is my all-time favorite skirt!  Purchased at J. Crew Factory in 2016,  this skirt can be worn in all seasons!  A more polished office look when keeping the top simple and lady like pointy-toed heels. If choosing to wear a brown shirt or sweater–keep with the same color shoes!

In the fall with a different sweater (and different hair)…

Image result for atypical60 denim jacket with leopard skirt

…and for a late summer/spring look, a denim jacket (for air conditioned buildings) with a white tee is perfect for casual Friday or a lunch date! The star is still the skirt (and yet, a different head of hair!)

Image result for atypical60 leopard scarf

A winter look with tights!  See how much I love this skirt? And I keep to a very simple palette!

Chippy loves the taste of fake tanner. He tried to lick it off.  No. Chippy. No!

Next are the belts.  I like the thinner belt with the combination of a one-color ensemble. I would wear this with my black tee-shirt dress or a simple black knit maxi dress–as long as the dress is one neutral color and the cut of the dress simple.

The thin leopard print belt can break up the monotony of a one-color ensemble without making it look boring!

Same outfit–thicker belt.  This belt can also work with jeans and a crisp white shirt or a black sweater or tee. The basic rule is keep it simple and don’t mix any other prints.

And I might add, this belt has held up well over the years!

Next –the gloves!

The cuff on these gloves can be worn  turned down…

..for a longer looking line, turned up.  I would not wear the leopard collar or a leopard scarf if I’m wearing these gloves.  I know–I’m weird but I only like one print at a time!

I forgot a couple of other leopard items I found in my closet!

Image result for atypical60 leopard scarf

These shoes I got at a Nordstrom sale a long time ago.  I still haven’t worn these out yet!

And sometimes you just can’t pass up a buy at the Dollar Tree!

for a buck, the scarf is too short to wear as a regular scarf so I’ve been styling it to hide my turkey neck!  Look!  My wig hair matches the colors in the scarf!  Still a fun buy and adds something to a plain black sweater!

And–the leopard print leggings from Chico’s!

Hi!  Welcome to the sun room!  

I love these leggings–but I’m lazy and didn’t straighten out the front seam!  These are so comfortable!

In the stock photo on Chico’s website, the model is wearing these with athletic running shoes. Sorry, but they look horrid with running shoes.  In fact, I would never wear these leggings while exercising–they are just too cute.  However, if not wearing these in an athletic way, stick to a simple black ballet flat and a black top. It looks more classic, timeless and polished.

I just adore these leggings!

Whaddya think? Are you a tame girl?  Do you like the leopard for the tame–or are you wild and would shake the leopard print up a bit?  What’s your choice??

Leopard is fun..and can turn our tame clothing personality into a bit of a wild child.  Hey–you like Van Morrison?  I love him..and I love this song about Wild Night! From 1971 when I was 16 and much wilder than I am now!!!

 

 

 

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Date Night In—The “At Home” Bistro! Won’t You Join Us Please?

The tree is down.  The decorations are all put away.  The chateau is back to being the nest of the empties.  With the exception of Chippy, naturally.

The only flora in the living room are the flowers adding a bit of color to the now bland interior!  And that’s okay!

And with all the holiday cooking and activity that surrounded us, and made us feel—well, to tell you the truth, it made us feel needed, it takes a while to get back to feeling normal

Okay. So THIS guy makes us feel needed. Chippy…

But there is also a calm in knowing that, when everyone leaves, the time belongs to you.  It’s great for Bonaparte and I to spend time, just the two of us (with Chippy, naturally), enjoying each other’s company.  Simple things, like watching a movie or TV show together. Or running those mundane errands like going to the hardware store for a battery for the smoke alarm or for light bulbs.

…or even just enjoying the ferry over to St. Tropez–it’s our time together!

And there is something very comforting in turning your home into a restaurant of sorts to enjoy an at-home date night.  It’s fun to turn the nest into a cozy little bistro—just you and your better half.

Won’t you join us please?

Early preparations include setting the table for the starters.

For my Frenchman, the weekend meal plans start on Tuesday or Wednesday when he starts thinking about the easy Friday night meal into the more French-style Saturday night meal. (As I write this Monsieur Bonaparte has requested Fajitas for Friday evening’s dinner).

Hmmmm. If it’s Tuesday, it’s time to think about Saturday night’s dinner!

Friday night is usually something like home made pizza or fajitas..

Friday night’s pizza. HE ATE THE WHOLE THING!!!

We’ll discuss the little appetizers that’ll accompany our aperitif—presently we are on a Gougerès kick.  I literally made a ton over Christmas, and replenished the supply when we ran out.  These little nuggets freeze so well and only take minutes to reheat.  They are the perfect appetizer to make-ahead.

 

We enjoyed the last of the frozen gougeres this weekend.  I have to bake a new batch! For your pleasure, I’m re-linking the Alain Ducasse Gougeres Recipe!

TIP: Choose appetizers to make ahead and freeze them. Got a day when it’s snowing or you have some time on your hands–make those appetizers ahead and double-batch them. It’ll save so much time later on!

The starter to the meal is next. I like to keep it light.  Bonaparte likes something a bit more substantial. Sometimes we’ll have a cucumber or red cabbage salad to keep me happy.  Most of the time we’ll have escargot, pate, foie gras or the salmon rillettes that everyone has been known to love and request.

From pantry to fridge where this baby rested until it was time for the Saturday Night Starter!

TIP: Going on vacation?  Pick up food items that are canned or that can legally be transported back home.  You’ll have a reminder of your vacation months later! It’ll be a great conversation starter too!

The bread was baked early on in the day!

TIP: Baking bread or baking dessert can be done early on during the day!  While you are out running errands, the dough can proof. It’s part of multitasking and time management!

The most difficult decision comes next. The main plate. We try to stick to something that’ll tie into the appetizer and starter.   Then he’ll decide which wine to serve.  For dessert, I’ll bake whatever Bonaparte wants. And since I don’t eat the desserts while I’m trying to lose weight (like now) the sweet treat during the week.

It’s quite the production—right?  Well, not really.   We both decided on an easy, healthy, and favorite choice–Chicken Breasts with Tomatoes and Olives. Here’s how last Saturday night’s dinner rolled:

My mise-en-place of sorts.  Black olives, fresh basil, Roma tomatoes, white wine, garlic, crushed red pepper, the juice from the olives.

TIP: Always have the ingredients at the ready.  It makes for less stress, knowing what’s on hand and a smoother cooking prep.

  Don’t get rid of the olive juice!! It can be used to add flavor and as a salt substitute.  I always save olive juice whenever canned olives are used!

My mallet.  This little tool is crucial whenever I cook chicken breasts.  Pounding the chicken thinner makes for a quicker cooking time and you can also increase the servings!

Chicken breasts–before and after pounding..

I’ll cook the tomatoes a few hours ahead.  While the tomatoes are cooking, I can work on blog posts or send out resumes.  I cook them in a touch of olive oil and about a half cup of white wine.  When the wine reduces, I’ll add a bit of the olive juice. After the tomatoes soften and the juices are released, I take off the burner and put aside. The crushed red pepper is added while the tomatoes are cooking.

My microplane. I love microplaneing garlic for recipes. It’s better than chopping!

TIP: Need to use garlic?  No need to chop if you have a microplane. It’s an easy way to get more of the garlic incorporated into your recipe. Remember, add garlic last because you don’t want to burn the garlic. It burns easily!

The secret ingredient to moist, juicy chicken breasts–a coating of  rice flour!  It’s gluten-free and doesn’t have the heaviness of flour!

  TIP:  To save calories–forego breading chicken breasts and coat with rice flour. It is gluten free. It isn’t heavy like flour and it keeps the juices within the chicken without the taste of a coating.  I use this whenever I saute chicken breasts.

The chicken breasts are dredged lightly in rice flour..

…and sauteed in butter and olive oil.  This can also be done about an hour ahead of when you sit down to enjoy your aperitif!  

And before dinner, the chicken and olives are added to the tomatoes and heated.  Basil is last.

With everything prepared,  I can get dressed and we can sit down to our Kir Royals and appetizers.  And after that, it’s to the table!

The bread I made is toasted and the Pate Foie Gras is ready to be spread and enjoyed!

We enjoy it with this Monbasillac 2012–it’s sweet and delicious. Y.U.M.!

The main plate–Chicken Breasts, Tomato, Olives and Basil. A dish for all seasons!

The chicken dish was accompanied by this 2008 Saint-Julien. It was really good because it smelled like dirt!  I fell asleep shortly after.

And let’s not forget dessert.  For a little something extra, I served the pound cake I baked with some home made Lemon Curd.  Lemon Curd. So easy to make and lasts forever in the fridge! Got Lemons? Make Lemon Curd–here’s Martha Stewart’s Recipe.

TIP:  Bake a pound cake!  And double the recipe.  Put one cake in the freezer and save for entertaining. Pound cake can be dressed up with a curd, with ice cream or a sweet sauce–the perfect end to an evening. It’s a simple, no stress cake that everyone loves.  I made Ina Garten’s Perfect Pound Cake my own by cutting the heavy cream down to 1/2 cup and adding 1/2 cup of Cointreau. The orange liquor gives a great taste and makes the cake as moist as ever! 

Life changes when the kids are gone.  They have their lives but sometimes we fail to see that—I know I do!

But we are important now.  We can prepare and cook and savor those special meals we may not have had the time to enjoy years ago.  Have a go!  Turn your dining room into your Bistro!  And enjoy!  Thank you for joining us!

As an aside.  Today is my Ruby’s birthday. She was born on January 16, 1996 and would be 22 today.  It’s hard to believe she left us five years ago at 17. I miss her terribly and am thinking about her and how happy she made my life, my children’s life, my ex-husband’s life and  Bonaparte’s life. Everyone loved her.  Here’s to you Ruby!

I think of Ruby every day–and today she’s been on my mind since I woke up.  I miss you so much Miss Ruby–who was named after a favorite restaurant in New Orleans that is also gone!

 

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A Revisit of An Oldie But Goodie Lipstick Friend. And A New Visit From Chico’s!

Hi All!  Well, with the new year upon us, it’s back to normal with beauty and fashion reviews.

Today I’m revisiting an old lipstick friend. In fact, I’ve written about this lip product in the past—but new year, new packaging and new colors. And with other more expensive brands out there, I wanted to give this budget-minded lipstick more love! The revisit is to CoverGirl Outlast All-Day Lipcolor!

Number 550. Blushed Mauve. I have two more in this color–they are in various purses!  

But first. Have you ever heard of LipSense? It’s a lip product that costs $25 and upward.  I’ve never used it but heard both good and otherwise about the product.  However, at $25, and given the fact that it is strongly “suggested” you also buy the other lip products that go hand-in-hand with the color, the cost escalates.

The $55 Starter Kit.  Now that’s a bit pricey, wouldn’t you say so?

Another set for $95.  That’s way out of my price range for lip color!

There is also a very popular lip kit from  the Kylie Jenner brand.  This is a matte lip product that comes with both color and a lipliner.  The liner is first applied to the entire lip and then the color applied on top of the liner.  This for $29.99.

Image result for kylie jenner lip kit

Kylie Jenner Lip Kit retails for $29.99. Still not gonna try this. Yet!

Now—the Jenner kit is very similar to the Covergirl Outlast Lipstick in that it’s two parts.  But the price point is much higher.

The LipSense also contains alcohol in the product, whereas Jenner’s and Covergirl’s do not.

For $7.49 at Walmart, the price is excellent.  And—it does stay on all day.

If you are looking for a red flattering to all skin tones, this coral/red is a great choice–and the staying power–it is truly crazy good!

Yesterday I wore Outlast All-Day Custom Red in the color 800, Custom Coral—I wore a brighter color because I filmed a YouTube wig review and the lighting has a tendency to wash me out.

This photo was taken shortly after the morning application of the Outlast lipcolor.

Anyway, I applied this at eight in the morning. And by eight in the evening, after dinner, the color was still on my lips.  This is the lipstick that Oona and her dancing peers wore while at Irish Dance competitions because the lipstick would not transfer off on their dresses and would stay put on their mouths.

This photo was taken later on in the afternoon.  Still strong and I applied a clear gloss over the color.  By 8PM the color was still on my lips!

For the money, this gives a great matte look. If you want more of a shine, you can apply a clear gloss over the lipstick and the color won’t move!

If a bright color is not what you are looking for, here’s another color to consider.

Number 549, Always Rosy. New streamlined packaging but same reliable product.  This is a very flattering and neutral mauve/pink…

The lipcolor, which is applied first…

..and then the balm which keeps the color in place. As you can see, the color that got on this tube is not going anywhere….

except on my lips!!  I am a fan of this type of color for everyday use.

Covergirl has been making this lipstick duo for years.  It debuted in 2001, and at 17 years old, I’m thankful that it hasn’t been discontinued.

It’s a thumbs up all the way. It is a product that was ahead of it’s time and doesn’t get the love it rightfully deserves.  I’m glad to see it’s still around and that CG has updated the packaging. Hopefully this lip product’s new packaging will attract more buyers.

Okay.  So. Back in October, I won a gift card for Chico’s.  The card was in the amount of $25 and to tell you the truth, I never really expected to use it.

Why?  Because I’m just not familiar with the brand. I’ve been to two local Chico’s stores and didn’t see much that spoke to me, and the sales assistants didn’t even bother to offer help.  My guess is that they noticed I was not the usual Chico’s brand customer.  Especially given the fact I was most likely dressed in head-to-toe J. Crew.

Anyway, I put the gift card in a drawer and forgot I had it. Until I received an email about a Chico’s sale.  I spotted a really cute pair of leopard leggings that were on sale for $30 and immediately remembered the gift card that I had.

Truth be told, I really “spotted” these leggings first but the price was $69…so I went with…

…this more casual pair instead. At $30,  they were a good purchase with my certificate!

The leopard leggings were purchased and I started to peruse the site.  I have to say, although the majority of the clothing doesn’t speak to me as a customer, I did find a few items that I absolutely loved.

The military jackets.  Why did I not see these a long time ago?

This jacket….

Oh boy.   I’m on a clothing “no buy” presently because I have a ton of clothing that I love..but this jacket. I want it!

And THIS.  I’m telling you, it was very painful to not order this.  I am so in love with Military jackets and Chico’s does this style the best I’ve seen!

There are a few basics that are also quite nice and were excellent for travel!

The leopard leggings came today.

The packaging was nice and secure. I did wait almost two weeks to receive the goods though.  

First of all, Chico’s sizing is different from other brands. The leggings are a size 1—which is the equivalent of a Medium or fitting from sizes 8 to 10.

Here’s the sizing chart.  Different than the norm for sure!

These fit very well.  The waistband is a higher fit and stays put—no rolling down. And the added benefit of a higher waist is that the belly fat is kept into place!  The leggings also have a stitched seam running down the middle and back of each leg.  The print itself is on the larger side—not small.

Sorry about the quality of the photos. My darned selfie stick broke. Why are those sticks so easy to break?  Anyway, I like the higher and more reinforced waist on these leggings.

Here’s a view of the waist from the side.  I think the print is actually nicer IRL than the way it looked on the website.

I love the way the leggings look with the J. Crew Dulci Kitten hells!

Here we go.  A better view of the print! Nice–aren’t they?The Repetto Ballet flats for a more casual look also are a great match!

These are very, very comfortable and can be worn dressed up with kitten heels or dressed down with flats.  I’ve paired this with a solid black Tippi sweater from–where else but J. Crew.

Overall, I’m very impressed with the look, the fit, and the excellent quality of these leggings!  

For very cold days, I would wear a plain black turtleneck sweater and black boots.  With a large animal print getting the focus, I would keep everything else simple.

I have to say, I am really, really liking these leggings—they will be worn.  A lot! I’ll definitely be stopping by Chico’s in the future–those Military jackets though!!!

And now, here’s another wig review for the ladies who are slaying that fake hair! It’s my most recent review and I hope you like it or are just plain old entertained by it!! I also talk about aging hair and why wigs really are an asset for the more mature woman!

 

 

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I Am A Shitholer

What’s in a word?  Plenty.  Especially when it comes from the President of these United States.

When I was young, the word “shit” was out of boundaries.   Shit, along with a few other choice words which I shall not print, was considered a “curse” word.  I think in the South it referred to as “cussing”.

And because the president of the United States uses this word to describe other countries and continents–what kind of message is this giving to children?  That’s it’s okay to use that language at a young age?  No. It isn’t–and that comes from gutter mouth me!

If one of the nuns who taught me had ever caught me so much at mouthing that word silently, I would have been slapped across the face.  Hell, I had been slapped across the face by Sr. Mary Josephita for giving an answer in a tone of voice she did not like.

You don’t mess with the nuns.  Never!

If I had uttered the word “shit” in front of my mother as a child, I would have gotten a slap across the face and a bar of soap in my mouth for dessert.  Hell, she slapped me when I was thirty years old for dropping the “eff” bomb in front of her—at her house.  Apparently, I wasn’t allowed to use that language in her home—at thirty years old.

My mother may have looked sweet–but I didn’t mess around with her!  No foul language in her presence. At any age!

 Not much shocks me.

Seriously–what came out of that imbecile’s mouth yesterday gave me the shock of my life!

But yesterday, when I heard and read that the man who was elected president, with the help of the Russians, referred to the continent of Africa, along with Haiti, as “shithole” countries, I damn near shit my panties.

Let’s take a look at this word—shall we?  Shithole:

The president of the United States likened an entire continent, along with its countries, as well as other countries to this ramshackle house that is in a very horrific state of disrepair and condemnation.

Now—I’m sure many of us have used this word in conversation. I know I have. Here’s an example of when I’ve used this word:

I’ve used the words to my kids when they were younger:  “Hey. Clean up your rooms”.  “Whady’a think this is?”  “A shithole”?

I was referring to an untidy mess filled with objects.  I wasn’t referring to a country or continent of people.

However, for a person in the public eye, and for a (fake) leader of our America to have the audacity to call any other country or continent on this earth a “shithole” is so vile, vulgar, ignorant and disgusting. It literally turns my stomach.

Dr. King, Scott Joplin, Amédé Ardoin, Rosa Parks, Maya Angelou all have roots stemming from Africa—in “Shithole” countries in the “Shithole” continent that the president referred to.

I am a firm believer that had Dr. King lived, he would have been President–and should have.

OMG. This guy!  Scott Joplin.  In my opinion, he is THE best American composer ever!  EVER!

Rosaparks.jpg

And Rosa Parks.  Fierce and empowering. And all had roots going back to Shithole countries!

Ludovic Lamonthe, Garcelle Beauvais, Wyclef Jean, Lee Holdridge—all Haitians.  These talented people all from a country the president of the USA deems a “Shithole” country.

Haitian composer Ludovic Lamonthe.  A man of great talent but shithole roots!

This man is an absolute embarrassment.

Does he not realize that our beautiful America is a melding pot? Our America has welcomed all from various “shithouse” countries.

My grandparents came to the USA to seek a better life than what they had in Ireland.

My Irish Immigrant grandparents.  Thomas and Margaret Wynne.  Lower middle working class–everything that the president of the United States despises.  Did I ever mention that my grandfather used to live in South Africa? He’s shithole squared!

Ireland is a country that has had its fair share of suffering.  Held captive by the British, destroyed by the great famine—and when the Irish came to America they were called “Dirty Irish Catholics” by the Anglo-Americans. They were called apes and drunks.  And mics.

This was the truth…

The American Protective Association was a nativist organization established to promote bigotry against Irish Catholic immigrants. Its member would not hire Irish immigrants or vote for Irish-American candidates for office. The No Irish Need Apply signs were prominently displayed in many businesses in American cities. Laws restricting the poor from coming to America in the 1880s to prevent Irish immigration.

Sound familiar?  Some things never change.  The Catholics are still hated by the extreme right faux-Christians.

And another thing.  My grandmother, the shitholer immigrant, worked her ass off.  When my grandfather took ill from a serious injury in World War 1 and lost a lung, my grandmother worked nights for decades cleaning office buildings in Manhattan.  She lived to be 98 years young and I can’t think of any woman that I admire more.  She was a rock and a great, great woman! I’m proud to be a shitholer granddaughter!

I am a mic.  And I am sure that had the president of these United States been around when the Irish immigrated he would have referred to Ireland and her struggles as a “Shithole”

My husband, a Frenchman, is an immigrant.  The Americans liberated France during the second World War.  I’m pretty sure that the president of these United States would refer to France as a “Shithole”—especially since the American troops saved the French from Hitler.  Remember—The President of the United States is a Draft-Dodging Coward—so even if he had been of age to fight in the second World War, he would have gotten daddy to pay his way out.

Dany and Evie Lartigue.  As Dany told me before he died, the War destroyed his family. If it had been up to the present president, he would have let the Nazi’s take over!

My husband is a frog. And I can pretty-much bet that the president of these united states refers to the French in a discriminatory way.

My Frog Prince!  I’m honored to be the wife of an immigrant!

My ex-in laws, whose roots and family are from Warsaw—well, I’m sure the president would have referred to them as “Dumb Polacks” from the “Shithole” country of Poland. And these were some of the hardest working, blue-collar people I’ve ever known.

Alphonse and Helen Urbanski.  Alphie represented the USA in WW II. He was stationed in Bora Bora. You can bet your bottom dollar that Donnie the Draft Dodger would NEVER put a military uniform on–only for military school. What a coward.  The girl in the top right was dancing for the troops. 

He showed his true colors and bigoted personality a long time ago. It’s just that yesterday, we received validation of what a truly hateful man he is.

He is anti-American.  He goes against the grain of everything my beloved America stands for.  The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.

Lady Liberty stands tall because she will always represent what America has always stood for.

Immigrants from “Shithole” countries have built our great country and made her what she was and is—despite the one in the white house and his cronies.

I am an American.  And today, I feel that I will have to try harder and harder to stress to my foreign friends and family—and those who don’t know me, to let them know, we are all not like the  leader that is in the White House. Nor are the majority of us like his supporters.

The majority of Americans are kind. And helpful. And hard-working. And decent. And good.

And we are also a country of “Shitholers” because our roots come from countries that have been referred to as “shithole” countries at one time or another–even the present.

This morning as I got dressed, I took a good look at what I was wearing. In my loafers, and plaid shirt, and my denim jeans, and my straight hair, I just looked so “All American.”

My All-American Look—or is it?

Then I noticed something—my hair was made in Indonesia.  My jeans in Mexico. My shirt in China.  My loafers in El Salvador. And my nails were applied by a technician from Vietnam.

All what would be referred to as “Shithole” countries.  And so, I thank the “Shithole” countries for giving me that All-American look today.  I couldn’t have done it without you! Thank you for giving me the hair I never had.  Thank you for dressing me up in clothing that I love.  Thank you for making me feel and look great!

I am an American. I am the blood of  working class immigrants. I am a shitholer.

I am an American. I am the product of Irish Immigrants. I am a Shitholer. Are You?

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The (S)Tory of the Boots From Hell

We all have that one item in our wardrobe.  The item from Hell.  It’s akin to the lemon of a car that you may have had years ago before the lemon law went into effect.

It’s true. Cars aren’t the only lemons.  We all have that one item of clothing that is the bane of our existence.

It could be an expensive coat that, for some reason is always ripping in a certain spot at the seam or has buttons that continually fall off. It could be a pair of pants that you love but for some reason, the hem keeps getting undone.

You get the picture—right?

Well, for me, it’s a certain pair of boots. A pair of Tory Burch boots.  And if I hadn’t spent a good amount of money on them, I would have tossed them in the trash a long time ago.

These are the boots.  And they have been nothing short of a headache since I purchased them back in 2012!  But they’re just so beautiful!

But—I spent a lot of money on these horrific excuse of designer boots.  And they are, hands down, the worst pair of garbage that I ever overspent on—even when I made the purchase at Nordstrom Anniversary Sale six years ago.

 

I’m not kidding. These boots are like that old boyfriend  you know is so bad but you just can’t get rid of….

Let me explain.  I wanted a nice rich Cognac brown pair of riding boots that would lend itself well to my beloved Kooba Sloane Bag.  Now mind you, I absolutely love my Kooba Sloane.  I’ve had her for about eleven years—possibly twelve.  This bag is not only pleasing to the eye, but it is well-constructed, strong as all get-out and fits a good amount of my “stuff”.    I had seen this bag but it was just way out of my affordability radar at the time.  Retailing for $645, and me, being a divorced mother with one child away in college and two children home at school, it was out of reach.

However, I got lucky.  The bag ended up on sale at Neiman Marcus and I had a gift card.  I ended up paying $200 for it—a treat for my birthday.  This is the bag that survived a child throwing up all over it on a flight back from France.  She’s survived storms and house moves.  Kooba was over my shoulder as I went through menopause and my divorce.  She was also with me for my first Colonoscopy—of which the doctor said “Nice bag—my wife was eyeing that”.

And the more she ages, the better the leather looks.  And  years later, the bag still receives compliments.

She’s been puked on, thrown around in cars, gone through so much with me, yet, she gets better with age. My Kooba Sloane has been aging gracefully!

Anyway, I wanted a pair of boots that would best match the color of my Sloane bag simply because I have a “thing” for matching my footwear to my bags. And after  years of searching in vain, that special pair of boots was found during a Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2012.

What other boots?  My crossed eyes only saw the Nadine boots from Tory Burch.  They were so stunning and the perfect color!

The Tory Burch “Nadine” boots, which, I believe were inclusive to Nordies.  (Read this review from the blog To Brighten My Day )

It was a perfect time to make the purchase.  I had a job at a healthcare company and was making a decent salary.  The retail price was $495 USD and with the deep discount of the infamous Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, I purchased the boots for $300.  Mind you, I had never made such an expensive boot purchase before in my life and since then, never have.

My circle of boot friends!  And none of the boots were as expensive as the Tory Burch Nadine boots.  And none ever needed as much repair!

I’ll spend more on my leather Longchamp bags but not boots.  And so, this was a big deal for me.

The boots were a bit snug with heavier jeans, but since the majority of my jeans are skinny ones, it was no big deal.  The foot of the boot looked really clumsy too.  The way it was constructed just made my foot look three sizes larger, and at an 8 ½, I don’t want bigger feet. But it didn’t matter.  The color was perfect and I liked the hardware.

And so, the saga of the Boots from Hell began.

During the fall into winter of 2012, I finally got to wear the boots.  Since purchasing the boots in August, I hadn’t been able to wear them due to the warm weather.  The first time I wore these really pricey boots, they were the most uncomfortable footwear, next to the Tory Burch Reva flats, I had ever put  my narrow feet into.  Now—I was able to accept the uncomfortable factor simply because after breaking my Reva flats in, they were extremely comfortable. I figured it would be the same thing for the boots.

I should have earned my lesson after breaking in Tory Burch Reva flats. It took forever to break these shoes in–but years later, they are comfortable.  Might I mention the tunic in this photo? It’s also Tory Burch and the stitching on the bottom is already becoming undone.  Never again, Tory. Never again!

Wrong.

My narrow foot was swimming within the  width of the boot.  To drive my car, I had to take the right boot off—it was like having my foot and leg in a thick cardboard box.  But the boots were the perfect color.  Walking in the boots was just as bad.  Being clumsy by nature, walking in these was turning my clumsiness into a fine art.

After two wears, I placed these boots back into the box and didn’t take them out until 2014. I just could not bring myself to return them.

Now it’s 2014. I gained a bit of weight.  Like—everywhere.  But—the cooler weather was great for wearing boots.  The boots wouldn’t zip up.  Even with skinny jeans.  I had no idea that with a weight gain, the boots wouldn’t fit.  But they were the perfect color—and that hardware.  Since I paid $300 for the boots, there was no way I was going to try to zip these beauties up and risk breaking the zipper.

Image result for atypical 60 boots

Honest to God, with the weight gain, this was as far that I could zip the boots up. And I didn’t even try because I didn’t want to ruin the boots. Into the closet they went. Unworn for almost two years.

Now it’s 2016. Fall.  I lost weight and was continuing to lose weight. On a whim, I took out the boots.  They fit again.  They zipped up beautifully while wearing skinny jeans and even more beautifully with Pixie Pants and dresses.  With my Kooba Sloane bag eagerly anticipating her booty buddies, I made them a perfect match.  Then I forgot that these boots were a bitch to break in.

At this point, I didn’t care how long it would take to break these in.  Finally, in late winter, the leather in these incredibly stiff leather boots wore in, and the boots were more comfortable. The foot part still looked ridiculously big but it didn’t matter. The color was perfect.

Late winter, the boots are finally broken in and are looking good with my Longchamp bag while Sloane takes a break in bag rotation.

Winter left, Spring came around and as I was getting ready to zip up my boots, I noticed that the zipper pull had a crack in it.  And when I pulled up the zipper, the pull broke.  WTF?  How cheaply made was the hardware on these boots?  You need to understand, I take very good care of my shoes and my boots.  I’ve had shoes for over ten years that still look like new.  I’m very particular.

 

I couldn’t believe it.  How could a piece of hardware break when the boots have been in the closet longer than on my feet?

The zipper pull also had the “Tory Burch” logo cut into it.  I took the boots to the Tory Burch boutique at the King of Prussia Mall.  I thought that perhaps since the pull was a TB logo perhaps they could repair the boot gratis. This was such a difficult thing for me to do because I was emotionally scarred from a previous trip to the Tory Burch Boutique at KOP Mall.  (Read my review of this horrific store:  My Review of Tory Burch store on Google). True to Tory Burch Corporate Culture, I was treated as though I was a dried up, bloodied human sized scab that was now oozing pus.  When I finally approached Miss Mainline Sales Assistant and explained my conundrum.  She ever-so-smugly smirked and said. “We don’t do repairs”.

How I looked going into the Tory Burch Boutique

How the snotty Tory Burch sales assistant saw me.

Off to Nordstrom I went.  Luckily, Nordstrom was able to send the boots out to be repaired. I was told that it would take some time for the boot to be repaired. But at this point my reaction was “Fine.”

Did I mention that it took three months to get the boots back?  Thankfully, I had them repaired during the summer months.

Fall 2017.  The boots are repaired, the zipper is beautiful and the match is perfect.  It was well-worth the $15 I had to pay for the repair, but the aggravation was priceless. The color of the boots has also darkened somewhat over the years, making them an even better match for my Kooba Sloane.

Happily in my Tory Burch boots again–and my Kooba Sloane is thrilled!

I’ve been happy wearing these boots.  Yes. The foot part still looks too big but I no longer have to take the boots off when I drive and they are broken in to perfection with the exception of the clumsy looking foot.

And then it happened.  Two weeks ago.  I went to zip up the left boot and it wouldn’t budge after being zipped up halfway.  Now—I know I put on holiday weight, but not enough that these friggin’ boots would no longer fit. Besides—the leather stretched a bit over the years.  I tugged again. Nothing.

I took the boot off and noticed it.  You know the fabric part of the zipper?  Where it meets the actually zipper?  It was torn.  Big time.

At this point, I wanted to throw the boots in the trash.  But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I had a moral dilemma here.  Thousands of customers take advantage of the Nordstrom return policy.  Why couldn’t I?  Regardless of my past gig selling handbags, I was still a customer.  Regardless of the fact the boots were purchased in 2012 and I had worn them on and off.  Regardless of the fact they were sent out by Nordstrom to get repaired.  My dilemma was—do I return, or send back out for repair.

What will happen?  Will I return the boots only to be denied?  Will I be able to have these boots from Hell repaired–or will the repair request be denied?

And off I went to Nordstrom. I’ll tell you, I felt bad. I’m not a returner. But what happened was very interesting.  The shoe department at Nordstrom is always fully-staffed. It wasn’t when I took the boots in.  Sitting in a chair was a salesman (I’m being sexist), he looked bored so I decided to brighten up his day.  I explained that I used to work at Nordies and that I wasn’t a serial returner because I couldn’t stand serial returners and then I explained about the boots.  Let me tell you something right now.  Nordstrom prides itself on great customer service.  This guy was a real tool.  Apparently, the only person who could have helped me was the manager who was on an hour break.  I was offered no assistance and no help, which was pissing me off because I know Nordstrom’s stellar customer policies very well. Yes!  This less-than-stellar service was now at Nordstrom!

With a sigh I went over to the handbag department.  The assistant manager, Jamie, that I used to work for is now the manager. And I love her. So together we set out to find the original sales transaction.  But the problem was that we couldn’t find it.  Nordstrom overhauled their credit cards  and policies last year and everyone was given a new number. Add to that, I don’t think I used a Nordstrom card. I think I used my bank debit card.  No problem, after some laughs and good conversation, not only did I realize that I missed Jamie, but I decided to just get the damned boots repaired.  Again.

Back to the boot department.   I was directed to the designer area because Tory Burch’s cheaply made boots are “designer”.   Why couldn’t “tool man” tell me that in the first place? This time around I got lucky. Jasmine, the designer sales assistant was a doll.  She took down all the needed information about the boots, assured me that there was a chance that the boots could not be repaired because Nordstrom changed their repair policy but they would be sent out for assessment.  She gave me my receipt and I was miserably on my way.

In addition, when I handed the boots over, I noticed a little hardware screw was missing from the back of the boot.  When I pointed it out, I was told that couldn’t be replaced.

If Nordstrom cannot repair the Boots from Hell, I will bring them to a local shoe repair to see if they can do the job.  If Nordstrom can repair the boots, I’m sure the cost will be about $50 to $60 as the entire zipper will have to be repaired.  This will bring the price of the $300 plus $15 for the zipper pull repair up to almost $400.  Some big sale item.

Lesson learned?  Don’t buy Tory Burch boots. Not now. Not ever. Never.  And stick to the less expensive brands.  Today I’m wearing a pair of boots that I also purchased at Nordstrom. The boots are the Ellerby Riding Boots from Enzo Angiolini and I paid around a hundred bucks for them back in 2014.  They are comfortable.  They have never needed a repair. They are beautifully constructed. And the brown trim on the top makes for a great match to my Kooba Sloane Bag.

These Ellerby boots from Enzo Angiolini are some of the best boots I own.  They are Bonaparte’s favorites!  Always looking sharp, I can wear them with my Kooba Sloane or any black bag.  And they were far less expensive that the Tory Burch boots!

What about you?  Do you have that item from Hell in your possession?  Do you have that overpriced item that you can’t part with or realize was a mistake from the get-go?  Tell me. Please! I gotta know! We all need to know!!!

It’s a shame that one pair of boots could cause such stress—and I’m singing “Shame, Shame Shame” today. Remember this from Shirley and Company?

 

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You Highlighter Up My Life! Highlighting the Mature Face

I have to say, I felt as though I was channeling my inner Mrs. Kravitz this morning!

I need to get out of the house more often because I am turning into Mrs. Kravitz–the iconic nosy neighbor!

Chippy ran to the front window barking like crazy and then I spotted lights.  Lights from a police car and lights from a fire engine. They were parked in front of the empty townhouse across the street.

Not a scene that is familiar to my eyes–so you can just imagine what was going on in that imaginative mind of mine!

Naturally, my stress and anxiety levels were getting the better of me as I opened up the slots from the upstairs blinds to keep watch of what was going on.  But it was too much for me, I had to go outside to find out what the commotion was about.

My curiosity was piqued!

So out to the tundra, without a coat and slipping and sliding on the ice only to yell in my Long Island accent to the police “Hey!!!  What’s goin’ on?”  “Is there a murderer or robber somewhere around here?”.  My voice carries so three cops came running over to me to quickly explain that the alarm went off due to a water pipe that had burst.  They assured me that everything was okay and that the owner was on his way.

Hey–I never said I was discreet.  Luckily it wasn’t a murderer nor was it a robber. It was a busted water pipe.  Beware the winter!

And all day the empty townhouse has been full of activity with plumbers and the owner and God-only-knows who else.

You would think that excitement would be the highlight of my day.  It wasn’t.

Instead, I was asking myself “Which highlighter will I use today?”

I know.  I know.  I’m sure many of you are wondering just why a woman with a wrinkled, soon-to-be-63-years-old face would make an attempt to highlight and draw attention to any area of an aging visage.  Hold on.  Highlighters aren’t our enemy!

They can actually give us a luminous glow if used properly.

Let’s discuss.  Pictured below are five highlighters that I use. Each serves a particular purpose.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

From top left clockwise.  Wet n’ Wild Megaglo Illuminating Palette; Fenty Beauty Trophy Wife; NARS Albatross, NYX Bright Idea Illuminating Stick; Revolution Vivid Baked Highlighter.

And here’s what they look like opened.

Now–although I’m not a fan of powders because they tend to make my skin look drier than it is,  the powdered highlighters aren’t ashy nor do they have a drying effect.  I’m pretty sure that is because they are applied with an extremely light touch!

I use this fan brush by Morphe. It is $5.00 on their website and I got it in a brush set.  It’s an okay brush–not the greatest and not the worst!

On my arm.  Bottom to Top.  Wet ‘n Wild Megaglo; Fenty Beauty Trophy Wife; NARS Albatross; NYX Bright Idea Illuminating Stick; Revolution’s Highlighter

As you can see, the differences are obvious in the colors and the illumination with NYX and Revolution’s highlighters coming in very similar.

Wet ‘n Wild’s Megaglo.  As a highlighter, the color came across on my arm dark.  When applied with a brush,  the product gives a lighter glow.  Personally, I like using this during the summer as a shimmery under-the-brow bone shadow.  It doesn’t show up that much on the cheeks but still, it isn’t bad.  At $4.99 it is a very good value if you want a very subtle highlight.

Blended all together or swiped with a brush separately to be used as  eye shadow, this product does come off best as a shadow.  However, if you are looking for the most subtle hint of color on the cheekbones, this is still a great value.

Fenty Beauty Trophy Wife:  Beware. This is not for the faint of heart.  I love Trophy Wife and on evenings out with Bonaparte, I’ll also apply to my eyes as a shadow. The golden color is beautiful.  But–I think it is more beautiful on darker complexions and when you have a tan.  A little bit of this goes a long, long, long, way–use sparingly! Retailing at $34, it may seem pricey but when you take into consideration how long it will last–it’s very affordable!

If you want a super golden glow, then Trophy Wife is your product. 

Look up high on my cheekbone and you’ll see the golden glow from Trophy Wife. I’m sorry that the lighting sucked and I was unable to get better pics.

I also have an extremely light application of Trophy Wife on my nose and Cupid’s bow.

NARS Albatross:  This has been around for quite some time.  Although white in color, when applied correctly, it gives a gentle shimmer. At $30, the cost is less than Trophy Wife but this works well with fair skin tones.  I like this a lot and use it more in the winter than the summer.

The shelf life says 24 months and I’m coming up on that time, but this is still in great shape and there’s plenty left.

Ugh. I wish I was successful enough as a blogger that I had a photographer. But I’m not so you’ll have to bear with me–lol!!  I’m wearing Albatross in this photo. It is illuminating but I think from the angle and with the lighting it looks really bright.  But–the great thing is it doesn’t dry out my already dry skin. It really does give a nice sheen!

NYX Bright Idea Illuminating Stick in Lavender Lust.  A creamy and absolutely beautiful illuminating highlighter, this is, hands down, my absolute favorite!  At $8.00 this is the best value and the product doesn’t fail. I wear this almost every day.  This stays put, it blends in beautifully with blush and really gives the most natural glow to the face!  I love this!!

The stick looks more pink in this photo but really is a true lavender IRL.  I can’t say enough about this because it is my favorite. I’m a big fan of creams and this doesn’t fail!

I had to play around with the angles but from straight on, you can’t even tell that I have this highlighter on my nose–it shows up when I bend my head down. It doesn’t look lavender either. You can also see a bit of this creamy sheen on my cheekbone!

Here it is on my cheek. So subtle and glowy and pretty.  A great deal for eight bucks!

Revolution Vivid Baked Highlighter.  Retailing at $6.00, I think I paid three dollars on clearance.  This comes in second to the NYX for me.  The color goes on very similar to the NYX, but I do prefer the cream–it’s more blendable.  But still, this isn’t a bad highlighter and the pale color is very all-tone friendly.

Revolution’s Vivid Highlighter.  It’s not bad at all.  I’m wondering how this will work out during the summer months with a tan. When the humidity is high and the face sweats, sometimes the powders are a better choice!

 

Revolution’s Vivid Highlighter. So subtle you can’t even tell I’m wearing it.  But the difference between this and the NYX is that I prefer the cream.

I honestly can’t recall ever using highlighter with the exception of Revlon’s Face Gleamer–I remember having this in high school and using it as a blush. And I also remember that I loved it.  Why did Revlon ever discontinue it?

Image result for revlon's face gleamer

It’s Lauren Hutton!!!!!!!  Revlon needs to reissue this Face Gleamer!

As we age, it’s fun to be opened to products that can give us that glow we used to have.  Not a moon glow, and not that “special” glow we get after too much wine.  Just a subtle natural glow and highlighting gives that back to us.  We just need to know how to apply it to best suit our needs!

Here’s a great video from Wayne Goss–if you haven’t watched his videos yet, start now.  He’s addictive. I love this guy!

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Atypical60 Looks at the Golden Globe Awards and Why Oprah Should Run for President

Where do I begin with this one?  First of all, if you’ve read my past posts on Hollywood awards events, you know that, a. I’m not a “celebrity” person and b. I live to watch these awards to drool over great ensembles and to snark over the tacky ones.  Actually, it’s the tacky and tasteless that warm my heartless the most.

I would have been better off in France at the Cannes Film Fesitval. What is this dress made of?  Honeycomb cereal? Popcorn? 3-D Tic-Tac-Toe boards?  Only Larisa Katz, the designer knows.  But this is what I live for–the truly tacky ensembles and last night’s Golden Globe awards were such a disappointment!

Today I’m nursing a serious case of deep GERD-related indigestion due to the over-the-top amount of chili and cheese laden nachos that I gluttonously wolfed down during last night’s presentation.  I think it was more of a stress-eat than anything else.

The Golden Globes are now officially to blame for my overeating last night and destroying my diet. 

I was stressed because there was no tackiness.  No flamboyance.  No excitement.  Wait!  I have a caveat here—Oprah’s speech was the only excitement but I’ll get to that later.

And where was Bjork?  I’ll bet she would have worn a black swan dress—even THAT would have been more exciting!

I knew I was in deep trouble when I started watching “Countdown to the Golden Globes” on the E! Channel.  Always late with “celebrity news”, I had no inkling that all the very serious and “humble” actors would be wearing black in support of the #metoo movement.

At first, I thought “Who died” because everyone looked like they were going to a fancy funeral for a very important fashion designer.

Then when I saw the little clip of Debra Messing calling out E! for not paying one of their female entertainment reporters the same salary as her male counterpart, I knew at that moment the self-righteousness of the entertainment industry and not entertainment as an escape would be the topic of the evening.

Trust me, I’m all for equality–but the subject has it’s time and place. Debra. Don’t bite the hand that’s giving you exposure to enjoy the salary you already make–and might I remind you that salary puts you above the 0ne percent that the entire country is making.

Now—don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for equality in pay.  Based on education and skills and knowledge, the pay scale should be adjusted.  But the question remains—was the female reporter in question as adept and qualified as the male she was working with.  And this subject goes deeper and deeper because these days, corporations are trying to get away with paying all employees less in salary while demanding more of their time.

Besides—there is a time and a place for everything and Messing’s timing was way off on those comments. It was tacky—and it wasn’t the tacky I was so looking forward to.

You know who Messing should have called out?  Her makeup artist.  Her shadow wasn’t even blended correctly!! Now THAT’S a crime!!!!

Honestly, I should have turned the TV off when the most gorgeous Catherine Zeta-Jones was being interviewed.  Bonaparte and I were enjoying our aperitifs and at the same time turned to each other with “How much more full of herself can this woman be before she vomits from her own self-fullness?”

Catherine. You are now part of the “mature woman” demographic. You need those Golden Globes of yours placed in a bra with a bit of lift.  The truth may hurt your over-filled ego but your cups need a little filling!

My Frenchman went upstairs after dinner and I was left to watch the Golden Globes tout seul.

My Frenchman left me to watch the Golden Globes alone!  That’s almost as scary as watching “It” or “The Shining” by myself!

So, let me give you my opinion on the Golden Globes 2018.

Seth Meyers.  You are a nice guy. You have a nice way.  You were one of my favorites on SNL Weekend Update.  However, your hosting was boring.  Hey. I understand. It was through no fault of yours.  You were most likely a “safe” host and you were.  I want Ricky Gervais back.

Seth–even that joke about Weinstein was too tame for my taste. I want Gervais back and I want him back funnier and more acerbic than ever!!!!!

For chrissakes, these celebrities take themselves almost as seriously as that one in the White House calls himself a genius.  Lighten up.  Get a sense of humor.  Laugh at yourself.  Gervais would have done a far better job and had gotten plenty of laughs.  But nooooooooooooooooo . The tone had to be maudlin so we could how serious the evening was.  The black attire wasn’t enough.

And speaking of black attire, let’s look at some of the dresses.

Kate Hudson.  I have news for you Kate, the netting on my Weave-A-Wig would have made a better dress.  Couldn’t your stylist have gotten you something more attractive? On the other hand, you do look cute with short hair.

Kate Hudson’s Weave-a-Wig dress…

The netting on the Weave-a-Wig helps to keep the wig secured when sewn in.  This would have come in very handy for the security of Hudson’s dress had the top been made with Weave-a-Wig netting.  Bobbi Boss may have a side business in awards dressing!

Halle Berry.  I’m giving props to Halle as one of the GG’s Best-dressed.  She wore a short dress and I am a sucker for shorter dresses.   I also like “long-haired Halle” better.  She has killer legs and that dress showed those gams off to perfection.  My only criticism is that she should have worn pointy-toed, cleavage, bearing heels instead.

Halle Berry gets my nod for one of the evening’s best dressed.  I don’t think she’ll fail the pencil test for a bra the way Zeta-Jones will.  I’m putting this photo on the fridge to stop me from eating.  But WTF is with all the see-through dresses?

My other criticism. What’s with the see-through dresses?  Seriously.  I can’t stand see-through clothing—it has nothing to do with modesty either. Hell, I go topless on the beaches in France so to some I’m most likely the most immodest woman on earth.  But the see-through dresses are just not attractive. On anyone.

Dakota Johnson.  Hands down.  The best dressed of the night.  I can’t even with the back of that gown.  And the cut and style—everything about her look was just so beautiful. And in a sea of boredom, she stood out even more beautifully than ever!

This dress literally took my breath away.  Seriously, she should have saved this for the Oscars because this is an Oscar-worthy dress.  OMG. I am in love with this.   Kate Hudson needs to hire Dakota Johnson’s stylist. So does Zeta-Jones!

Angelina Jolie.  Angie. Angie. Angie.  Do I have to fly to Brignoles, France and knock on your door to tell you how disappointed I was in your Globes attire?  Come on. You are the most beautiful woman on earth and you wore a get up that was far too matronly.  Dayum. I’m almost 63 years old and I wouldn’t wear that granny outfit.  Bring back that infamous dress with the high slit you wore to the Oscars a few years back!

Whoever this Just Jared is, I want to thank him for taking the greatest GG pics!  Angie.  Why?  Why are you dressing in a dress that Totie Fields or Phyllis Diller would have worn.  This is not you.  Go back to the slits. Please.

Emma Watson.  No. Just. No. If you are aspiring to look Amish, come to my house and I’ll drive you to Lancaster County, PA. It’s just a half-hour away from me.

Emma, you played Belle.  Why wear a dress that is a cross between an Amish ball gown and one that looks like those weird ears on a lizard–the sleeves.  No. Just. No!

Mandy Moore.  Thank you so much for adding a splash of color by wearing a red sash.  But you should have worn your hair down.

I love that splash of red over the drab black gown.  There’s too much material on the bottom of this one.

What?  Are you trying to look like the lady in the American Gothic painting?  The hair is too severe for your bone structure.  A looser pulled back look would have been stunning!

And Mandy. Don’t ever wear your hair pulled back like that again. It’s too severe for your beautiful face.  You need a loose look to soften the angles. I know this.  I have a very square face.

Frances McDormand.  BINGO!!  My second-favorite look of the evening!  She wore Navy Blue!  Frances McDormand is not only the best actress (Yes. I’m being sexist by calling her out as an actress because I’m separating the sexes.  She is better than any male actor.), but she’s a rebel by wearing blue in that black sea of fashion  boredom. McDormand is the reason I watched the Golden Globes. I was dying to see her win because she was so great in Three Billboards. And she did win.

First of all, I was thrilled she won because her performance in Three Billboards was stellar.  Secondly, just the fact she wore navy proved she has more balls than all those combined of the men in the audience!  Add to that, there is nothing phony or pretentious about this woman.  She is comfortable with no makeup. Oh I love her.  I’m even giving her a pass on the Eileen Fisher “style” of the dress. She’s still my second-best dressed of the evening.  Go you, Frances–and you better win that Oscar!

How could anyone not love her? She offered to buy Tequila shots for all her fellow women nominees.  Damn. I wish I was there! I wish I was nominated for a Golden Globe! Her speech, although who knows why she was bleeped so many times, was the best.  The woman exhibited a sense of humor that was surely lost during the rest of the event!

And speaking of those black dresses.  Do people not realize that RED is a more empowering color?  Hell yes!  If I were there I would have worn my red heels. Red is a more “in your face” color.  Black fades in with the background.  Isn’t it better to wear a more empowering color and one for hope rather than a color associated with the maudlin and death?

If I were at the Golden Globes, MY symbolic dress would have been red high heels because I could stamp out the abuse and discrimination. I would have worn jeans as an homage to all the normal, middle and lower, working class women who can’t afford designer duds!  THAT symbolism would have been more believable. Red. It is an empowering color!

Think about it.

Let me tell you something.  I’m a #metoo. As are most women. And we’ve all had our share of abuse, hardship, bullying and discrimination from men.  But nobody brings up the white elephant in the room about the abuse coming from other women.  Have any of you ever worked with a female boss or supervisor who was totally abusive?  I’ll bet you did because I know that I wasn’t the only one.

Boss GIF

Yes. I’ve been the smart fat girl, and have also suffered my share of abuse and discrimination from a woman superior.  So let’s talk equality–OK???

Have you ever seen the shaming that women exhibit towards other women on social media?  Men aren’t the only abusers or purveyors of harassment.  And it’s one thing to give a fun and tongue-in-cheek assessment of what women are wearing on the awards shows.  But to viciously attack someone for going against the wearing o’ the black is another. And Twitter was rife with McDormand Shaming! Not cool. Not cool at all.

There is, however, hope for all of us.  And that hope comes in the form of Oprah Winfrey.  Although Reese Witherspoon’s introduction had me eye-rolling because I just wanted her to shut up and hand the award and mike over to Oprah, as soon as Winfrey took to the podium.  I knew it would be one of the best moments of the evening.

This.  This. Hope + Oprah. Hoprah.  The artist who created this is a genius!

And it was.  For her to win the Cecil B. DeMille award was a shining moment and my girl Oprah had me at “Linoleum”.  Here’s the link Oprah’s Acceptance Speech.

Oprah needs to run for President of These United States in 2020.  And here’s just a few reasons why.

Oprah.  Our next President?  Let’s hoprah so!  Note to Bobbi Boss wigs–can you create a wig just like Oprah’s hair style?  I want this. 

The world loves and adores her.  She would be an exemplary example of a great leader in foreign policy.

She has a book club!  She would make America read again!

Oprah. Are you reading this?  Can I send my book to you when completed?  You’ll make America READ again–and we need that!

We can all, as an overweight nation relate. She’s knows the weight loss struggle is real.

Image result for oprah wagon of fat

Oprah. I remember the day you did this. I watched your show religiously.  I struggle too. we all struggle with our weight!!

She can give a bad-ass speech better than anyone!

She is a great actor—and that counts when one must remain calm.  She will be able to channel her inner calm acting skills when her nerves are put to the test.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.she’s good.  Just like her soup.

Ohhhh..That’s Good.  Soup!  Soup! Is there nothing this woman can’t do? 

She is intelligent and smart. And she made the rise from journalist to—OPRAH!!!!!!

She is a humanist.

She can get the entire country out to vote—and vote for her.  OMG—the Republicans and their electoral collage wouldn’t stand a chance!!!!

Maybe she will give all of us new cars!

She is hope!

Steadman would make a fine “First Man”

Steadman would be a great First Man.  Maybe I can be hired as his secretary.  I mean, he’ll have to have someone handle his schedule because President Winfrey will be busy with world issues and……

I know—there’s much talk about Oprah in 2020. And I’ve been reading many tweets and such about the fact she isn’t a politician.  But—how do you think this successful woman became so successful.  She knows her politics and she would be so much better than what we have now.

We need a woman in the White House.  We need Oprah.  We need her in 2020!

Look how presidential Oprah looks.  Oprah. Please run for President.  Please…….

#ImwithOprah

PS.  A lot good the black dresses did when Greta Gerwig wasn’t even nominated for best director.  That just proves women have far more to do than wear a black dress to get their point across.

Here we have a talented woman director and no nomination.  Hmmmm..looks like you’ll need more than black dresses to get the point across!

Speaking of talented women, I did another review–and this is of the Bobbi Boss Weave-a-Wig!  How appropriate! (watch Chippy in the background)

 

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