Life With Bonaparte–A Frenchman and His Bread. Or…It’s Not Bunny Honey!

Get “Bready” for a true story because it’ll make you hard-pressed that the husband is actually a native Frenchman!

Anyway, Thursday evening I had an appointment with my eye doctor.  The time has come for me to acquire stronger lenses because my job as an Administrative Assistant has me sitting in front of a computer all day.  Add to that, my aging eyes—or rather eye since I only have vision on one, is becoming sight blurry.

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My eye doctor’s place!  I swear I love going here! He and his wife remind me of my daughter Oona and her future husband Sam! They’re so cute!

Now mind you, it was a must that the dear Bonaparte accompany me because the doctor would be dilating my eyes and the husband would be footing the remainder of the cost that medical insurance would not—and we all know how the expense of frames and lenses escalates from year to year.

And let me say, although I am a serious hypochondriac who only expects the worst news, who envisions every serious condition affecting me at all times, and who is deathly afraid of doctors, the eye doctor happens to be my guilty health pleasure.  Even as a child, I looked forward to having my crossed-eyes checked (weird kids grow up to be even weirder adults—I’m validation).

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Just in case I become famous and I’m interviewed on TV–this is the first question I will be asked.  And my answer will be a cute little laugh, a toss of the fake hair, a kick of the fake-tanned legs and an astounding “YES!!!!!” “And I think I’m coming down with something right now!”

The end result of the eye exam is that even though I’m blind in one eye, naturally cross-eyed and need a stronger lens prescription—my eyes are very healthy.

I have an amblyopic eye, strabismus and need stronger lenses, but the insides of my eyes are incredibly healthy.  My crossed-eyes are very happy with this news!

And for those with eyes like mine, a little Opto-humor!  This cartoonist is an artist turned eye-doctor.  If you have an Instagram account, you need to follow him because he’s so funny! @sightgagscartoons

New frames picked out (they are similar to what I’m wearing now but not the same), bells and whistles in the lenses—i.e. blue filter for computer usage, anti-glare for night driving, and we were good to go.

My new frames. Salvatore Ferragamo–and they are tortoise shell colored!

Our plan was to hit Wegman’s to do some grocery shopping for the upcoming storm that was expected for this weekend (BTW, It’s Sunday and was supposed to rain ALL DAY.  At 4:20 PM the weather is bright and sunny and about 10 degrees and windy).

For Bonaparte the storm food supplies did not include milk, bread, and eggs.  It was more akin to butter, tarragon, shallots and any other sauce makings I needed for the weekend.

I knew something was up when we passed by the Wegman’s Bakery.

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All of a sudden Bonaparte was concerned about the over-abundance of baguettes at Wegmans–and he usually complains about how bad they are–OK????

At 7:50 in the evening, Bonaparte spotted a section full of baguettes.  He went over and squeezed one of the loaves.  It was warm. This drove my husband into a full-on frenzy.

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Respect the baguette!!

Oh Merde!  Wha eez zuh mattahr wiz zeez pipoule?  Wha a wist of good bread!  Do you rillee sink pipoule ahr going to buy fresh baguette at zis time of night?  Cassee  you go talk to zuh manager.

Sometimes my husband thinks he is back in France where zuh pipoule line up at the boulangerie and patisserie at approximately 5:30 pm to 6:00 PM and wait like Russians on the rationed bread line to purchase their evening baguettes.  But he did have a point that baking all those loaves to set out at almost 8 in the evening was a waste of good bread.

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There’s nobody here now, but at 5:30 in the evening you need to see the line for the dinner baguettes.  I’ve waited on many a line here and in the morning–Bonaparte runs here for his croissants!

However, no way was I going to speak to the manager.

Bonaparte have a sort of bad cop/good cop going on.  Even though he’s really the bad cop with his complaining, I’m the one who has to do the actual complaining to managers because nobody can understand his heavy accent—especially when he’s upset!

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Unfortunately, I have to be the bad cop–or mauvais cop!

Hence the reason why I bake bread at home!

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Trust me–I’m blessed because Bonaparte happens to love the bread I make.  Give us this day his daily bread!

Groceries in tow, the Frenchman had an idea—or rather a scheme.  He stated that it was very late—too late, in fact for me to cook dinner, and he suggested we drive to McDonalds.

Allow me to explain something.

I hate McDonalds.  With one exception–the McDonalds McCafe on the way to St. Tropez. The coffee is freshly brewed and the pastry selection is astounding! The In general, I don’t like fast food at all—the one exception being my beloved guilty pleasure of Taco Bell!

Just a sampling of the McCafe in France.  It’s pretty darn amazing and the coffee is stupendous!

But with this low-to-no carb thing I’m doing, I told Bonaparte that I would just have my cauliflower hummus and raw vegetables when we got home.

We drove to McDo (inside tip—that’s the French slang for McDonalds *wink*) he ordered his Big Mac, large fries and Diet Coke and we went on our merry way home.  Upon arriving home, I took my wig off, ran upstairs set the oven to 250 in order for him to reheat the fries and burger and we both got changed.

Can you believe my Frenchman ordered THIS?  And he loves it!  I wonder if he really is French at times!

And then it happened.  The second he opened the warm and toasty box that contained the treasure trove of two burgers slathered with cheese, pickles and special sauce—not to mention the unflavored hothouse cardboard tomato, slivered lettuce and onions.

His eyes popped open—like a cartoon where the eyes pop out of the head then back into the sockets.

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Holy Homer Simpson!  Bonaparte’s eyes popped outta his head too!

He started cursing in French and trust me he said far worse than “merde”!

He turned to me with a stern “Look a’ ziz!!!!!!”

I didn’t notice anyzing—anything. And when I stated so he went into a tail spin!

“ZUH BUN!!!!”  “DO YOU SEE ZUH BUN!!!?????”  “EEZ NIT ZUH SEM!!!!!!”  “EEZ ZUH WRON’ BUN!!” “Z’HAIR EEZ  NO SES-I-MEEEEE  SIDS!!!!!!!!”  (More French cursing)

My simple and pragmatic response was “Well, they probably ran out of the Big Mac buns so they replaced them with regular buns.”

His next response was to ask me to take a photo of the burger.  Which I complied.

This is the “Bad” Big Mac!  Plain bun and all–and half eaten!

Regardless of the bun, he still ate every last morsel of the burger with the bad bun!

Fast forward to Friday, the day after the McDonalds episode.

When we awoke, my husband turned to me to ask me if I still had the “resit” from the McDonalds meal.  Now, normally I throw resits—or rather receipts, away, but since he gave me quite a chunk of change from the bill he paid with for his meal, I stuffed both change and receipt into my wallet.

Apparently, he was awake pondering his next move because he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink.

The infamous “Resit”!

I gave him the receipt and knew exactly why he wanted it.

He was going to get a refund for the Big Mac that was now making its way through his intestines. I don’t think he was waiting for the meal to make a reappearance.

And approximately four hours after I left the house, and was ensconced within the confines of my work cubicle, I received an email from him.  It simply read:

I got a refund.

One can only imagine what went on in that McDonalds when he arrived with the receipt.  He explained in his broken English and heavy French accent that his Big Mac had the wrong bun.

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No..nobody understands you…and that’s why you had no issue obtaining a refund!!

The woman at the counter stated that it was too early in the morning to get another Big Mac and so, she just gave him the four dollars that he spent on his entire meal.

There are no words.  However, this episode has now proven to me that the French have a very serious thing about bread.  Even if it is a bun on a disgusting fast-food burger.

You do not mess with a Frenchman and his bread—or any product made of flour and yeast—or any product laden with carbs.

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Yeah…you kinda don’t mess with a Frenchman and his love of the loaf–even if it’s a fast food bun!

Yesterday, I baked a loaf of bread for him.  And he ate the entire thing!

Yes!  Here’s the loaf I made for the husband yesterday–and my wig and wig cap are right next to it because I had to take my fake hair off or it would have melted from the oven’s heat!

And there you have it!  Welcome to my life!

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My Favorite Wigs of 2018 Part Two—The Budget Wigs!

Budget Wigs.  Fashion Wigs.  Inexpensive Wigs.  However you refer to them, they can be a great value and an asset to a wig collection.

Let me explain.

Wigs run the gamut of prices.  You have the luxury wigs-running from the high hundreds into the thousands.  You will not see me in one of these wigs because I have a mortgage, car payments, food to buy, utilities to pay for—this summer my daughter’s wedding and travelling!  My priorities are more aligned with Activities of Daily Life.  I’m certainly not being negative with this grouping, it’s just that the average woman can’t afford to spend thousands on one wig.

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That’s right–I’m an average woman and with my budget wigs, I can feel like a runway model!

The Bridge Wigs and Budget wigs are the ones I wear.  Although the Bridge wigs are more expensive than the Budget wigs and are better constructed, there is something to be said about the budget wig.

First of all, if you like variety with the hair you wear, it’s good to have a mixture of both Bridge and Budget wigs.  Where you have to work a bit to get the budget wig to appear more natural, it isn’t a painstaking effort.  All it takes is a tweezer and powder for the parting space, a scissor to cut the lace and you’re good to go.

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You may also want to use a bit of wig glue to stop the wig from shifting!

My last post showcased my favorite Bridge Wigs of 2018 and, in this post, my favorite Budget Wigs of 2018 are coming straight atcha!

These wigs assist in giving my better wigs a longer wear and shelf life. These are the wigs I wear if the weather isn’t that great.  They are wigs I’ve worn to the office many times.  I’ll wear these wigs to the dentist and eye doctor and I’ll wear them for just plain fun!

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That’s right!  Wigs are plain fun!

A word of caution, though.  Not all budget wig sites are created equal and there are a ton of rip-off wig sellers out there.  If you see a photo of stellar hair and you see a price that looks too good to be true–it is too good to be true.  Below is a stock photo of Gabor Wigs “Sweet Talk”.  She’s a beauty that retails for around $230 USD.

A seller on Amazon, ELIM is offering this wig for $19.35 USD. This is not the wig you will get.  They are not selling Gabor’s Sweet Talk for $19.35.  Who knows what you will end up with if you purchase from a company that steals others’ stock photos.

You have to be knowledgeable when purchasing a budget wig!

ELIM Short Blonde Wigs for White Women Curly Wavy Synthetic Female Hair Wig Full Wigs with Wig Cap Z118

This is Sweet Talk by Gabor Wigs.  She is NOT a Budget wig. If you see a photo like this on a site that you are not familiar with, please know you will not be getting a good value. You will be getting a rip-off rat’s nest!

Most of all, Budget wigs are a fantastic value and for women on a fixed income or budget and are incredibly affordable.  So, come along and take a look at what made the cut for 2018!  And in no particular order….

Storm by Model Model—Color 4. Dark Brown

Model Model Storm.  She’s been a favorite budget wig of mine for over a year.  Here she is in the shade Number 4–a rich dark brown!  Slightly angled, she’s that perfect non-styled style!

I have five Storms.  Ranging from color 1 Jet Black to this—Dark Brown.  My only wish is that Model Model would make this gorgeous wig in lighter colors!  She’s a lace front and the density is incredible but—as dense as she is, I’ve worn her in the hottest weather and she still remained so comfortable!

Another look at Storm in brighter light.  The parting space on this 4X4 silk lace front can be trained to go to either side or the middle!

She’s one of those “unstyled” styled wigs that I like.  Angled and just past the shoulders, she wears very well and wears long.  With the budget wigs –I find after a couple of washings they’ve had their day.  However, with Storm, she lasts through quite a few washings!  She always looks great and she was one of my 2017 faves as well!  At around $35 on wig sites, she is at the top of the budget wig pricing and is an incredible value.

Here I am in St. Tropez–summer of 2017.  The Storm I’m wearing is natural black—1B!

Bobbi Boss April Wig

Bobbi Boss April in the shade–TT1B-613. The top area is a 1B natural black fading into 613–a light blonde.  I don’t know what it is, but I love this ombre wig so much!  The hair color isn’t the most natural ombre but who cares!  Part of wearing a wig is slaying it–and every time I wear this–I slay!

I freaking love this wig.  Believe it or not, I find the budget wigs make a better center part than many bridge wigs.  There is nothing I don’t love about April. I love the Ombre dark-to-light.  The length of the bob is great, the density is fabulous and she’s hot stuff.  She gets a lot of wear out of me!  Around $29. she is a fantastic buy.

Here’s another April in the shade 4327.  A blend of lighter golden browns.  She needs tweezing and powder but she sure looks great and for the price, you cannot go wrong!

Bobbi Boss Lyna

Bobbi Boss Lyna–in the shade TT6/23–a more subtle ombre than April.  But nonetheless another great center-part bob.  I love the density of Lyna and she’s very blunt–but this blunt straight look is one I’ve always achieved with my bio hair but it was too curly and frizzy!  I love wigs!

Truth be told. Bobbi Boss is my favorite of the budget wig brands. The company knows how to make a quality unit at a very purse-friendly price.  Lyna, another center-part wig is a shorter bob.  The funny thing is that Bobbi Boss makes Lyna in a sleek model but it’s too little and close to the head for me.  The volume in the regular Lyna is perfect.  The shorter style makes it an excellent choice to wear with textured sweaters and fabrics in the winter and remain comfortable during the hotter months.

Here’s Lyna again. This photo is from the video review I did on my YouTube channel.  Look how nicely she falls!

Bobbi Boss Chyna.

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Bobbi Boss Chyna (BTW, I almost named my daughter Oona, Chyna, but ended up going with my Gaelic roots instead).  A long bob–LOB.  This is such a great unit and she’s silky and holds such a great shape!

Yes!  Another Bobbi Boss! Chyna came late to the sorority but has gotten lots of love from me this fall through winter.  I longer bob—a lob if you will, she’s not as dense as the other wigs but still packs a punch with the gorgeous silky texture of the hair fibers!  The color, TT4/Choco is a great blend of lighter brown tones!

Hmmmm. I think I’ll wear Chyna to work tomorrow!!  She looks pricier than she really is!

Heraremy Ariana—OET 1B30.  This. Is. The. Greatest. Value.  I got her last winter at the price of–$19.99! And the hair is dense, and very, very thick. A blending of reds, she’s a knockout of a longer wig.  Tangling has been at a minimum and she is very well-constructed!

Ariana.  There’s a good amount of hair here and it makes for a great winter wig because it keeps the head warm!

Another reason this was a great value–minimal tweezing needed at the parting space!

Swami by FreeTress Equal.  Another big-time favorite of mine.  I have five Swamis because this center-part long bob is a realistic, wonderful head of hair.  My bio hair looked like this after I put it up in beer-can rollers, blow dried each section, rolled it back up and flat-ironed it.  A process that took over two hours.  This process takes less than a minute to put her on.  All I have to do is adjust the ear tabs!  She’s under $25 on many of the wig sites.

Swami–by FreeTress Equal.  Another center-parted longer bob–but she’s dense and I’ve had to thin out the darker-colored Swami.  

Swami in the shade PB Coffee.  This shade is the most unusual shade ever and I’ve only seen it on Swami. I tell you, these budget wigs are terrific values!

 

PB Mocha–Swami is made of Futura fibers–maybe that’s why she lasts a good amount of time! 

Justine by It’s A Wig.  Justine is another wig that was a favorite of 2017 and made it through to 2018! And yes, this is another wig that I have multiples of.  She always looks fresh and the hair fibers are soft and silky but not doll-like.  It’s like clean hair that was just washed.

Justine by It’s a Wig.  I’ve got multiples of her too!  She’s incredibly natural looking and this is the one wig that I’ve been stopped for the color–TT3147.  I like the lighter blends of brown.  Not too dark but not quite blonde.  It’s a flattering shade!

Look closely at the hairline.  There is a slight demarcation at the parting space. That’s due to the soft lace.  I normally dab a spot of “Got 2 B Glued” or edge wax and it keeps the lace down.  I cover with powder and concealer and am good to go.  That’s the difference between a budget and better wig.  And trust me, it’s no big deal!

…and if someone can notice that–they are standing too close to my personal space and need to take a step back!!

This is the budget wig that I’ve had women stop me in public to ask where I got my hair colored! Hey.  I’m serious.  This is a killer wig for an inexpensive price point!

 

Hair loss, as I said, is devastating.  And you would be surprised at the amount of “snobbery” within the wig community.  Yes. It’s true.  You have women who look down on synthetic wigs; women who only wear “brand name” better wigs; women who claim that budget wigs are “cheap” looking and the list goes on.  It’s disappointing because you would think that women would be more supportive of each other.

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You don’t have to spend a bundle in order to get a decent wig.  Do not allow wig snobs make you feel less than your perfect self!

In my book, a wig that makes a woman feel better about herself and gives her confidence is a winner and a valuable head of hair—at any price.  And if someone can’t afford the best of the best, there’s plenty of options.

That’s the beauty of wigs.  And don’t ever take my budget wigs away from me!

comedy no Sticker by CBCunimpressed comedy Sticker by CBC

Thanks to the great Catherine O’Hara for her stunning portrayal of Moira Rose the wig-wearing ex-soap opera star of the TV show Schitt’s Creek!  

For those who may be interested, here’s my YouTube video that I did on these wigs.  You can get a better look at them (sort of—my lighting stinks)!

If you are going through hair loss, please head to various sites. Head to YouTube and educate yourself because once you get used to wigs and toppers, your life will change for the best!!

If you are interested in these wigs, any of the budget-friendly wig sites has them.  Among the ones I shop at:  Hairsofly Shop; Sam’s Beauty, Go Beauty  NY

 

Posted in Uncategorized, Wigs, Wigs and hairpieces for women. Women's hair loss. Women's hair loss solutions. Toppik. DermMatch. Wigs.com | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

My Favorite Wigs of 2018. The Bridge Edition.

My wig journey is just a tad over ten years old.  The first wig I ever purchased was Scorpio by Revlon Wigs.  You have no idea how difficult and emotional it was to click the button on the wig website and purchase that fake head of hair.

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Scorpio by Revlon –the first wig I ever owned and it’s still a popular seller!  I still have this as a reminder of how my hair loss journey with wigs began!

The thing is, that wig meant so much to me that I still have her. I don’t wear her anymore but I kept her as a memory of an event that changed my life in my hair loss journey.

Those first steps of wearing a wig out in public are the hardest—and with time it gets easier.  And ten plus years ago, I had nobody to guide me.  I didn’t know about YouTube videos at the time (did YouTube even have wig reviews that long ago?), nor was my wigucation in the advanced placement class.  There was a lot to learn and over time I learned through trial and error.

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So much went into trying to find that “right” wig that would look natural on me!

The other “first wigs” I purchased weren’t lace front.  They were rather wiggy looking but I tried my best to make them appear more natural.

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It’s true!  There was sooooo much that I needed to learn about wigs and I had to figure it out on my own!

Oh..I did venture out to Long Island for a weekend to my sister’s when I first got Scorpio, but after the eyerolls and laughs, I placed her back in the box and continued to cover my bald spots with my Toppik hair fibers.

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This stuff was my saving grace when my hair loss started to become visible.  You can read more here–or hair:  TOPPIK

But the loss became so great that I could no longer hide the fact and wigs became a regular part of my life.  And I can’t look back because I’ve come to appreciate and love my wigs (most of ‘em).  I’ve learned the beauty of a good wig and the value of a budget wig.

 

On the left–Jamison, my all-time favorite wig ever; by Estetica Designs.  On the right, the budget-friendly Justine by It’s A Wig!  

2018 was a great wig year for me.  I made new friends and began reviewing wigs for those in the wig wearing community.  It’s my mission to normalize wearing a wig.  No woman (or man) should feel incomplete due to hair loss and those who are blessed with a full head of hair need to stop the snark.  In all honesty, I would love to have all my bio hair back—but it’s not gonna happen.  And, so, I’ve learned to embrace my fake hair.

Embrace the fake hair–even if you don’t suffer from hair loss–it’s fun!

So, read on about my favorites from 2018.  This is the “Bridge” edition.  For me, Bridge wigs are in between the very expensive wigs and the budget wigs.  They can be found for the price point of around $100 to $400.  I’ll also be doing a favorite Budget Wig blog post too!

Without further ado, my Number One favorite from 2018 is………. (drum roll please)…

Jamison from Estetica Designs:

THE Ultimate Classic Bob!  Estetica topped it and nobody else can compare with Jamison!

Jamison is my favorite wig for a number of reasons, one of them being a very sentimental reason. Jamison is the wig that started my friendship with the folks at Estetica! I can’t begin to tell you what this means to me.  Working with this brand is amazing.   I love the people and we can discuss everything in earnest about the units.

I absolutely adore Jamison. She comes in at Numero Uno!!  And with good reason! She’s perfect!

She also comes in as my Number One because of the classic bob style and the quality.  Bobs are popular, but to find the perfect classic bob can be daunting.  Either the part can be wonky or the shape of the bob really isn’t a true bob.  Many pontificate bobbed wigs but few are genuine classic bobs.  And Jamison is the true classic.

The shape is consistent throughout –and I have four of these babies to prove it!  The parting space is stellar as is the hairline.  The fibers are lustrous without being shiny or doll-like. She is lightweight without being flimsy and she is dense enough without being thick.

The more I look at Jamison, the more I love her.  Maybe I should get a new one for Oona’s wedding!

Jamison is also ridiculously versatile.  You can wear her out and about for casual times, she’s a great wig to wear to work and she can also be worn for dressy occasions.  She’s all-age friendly and—for a first wig—man oh man, she is a beauty!

Second on my list is another unit from Estetica Designs.  Finn.  There’s something about a full blown, tons of layers, shoulder-length, shaggier wig.  Very up-to-date but with a 70’s to 80’s vibe. She’s big hair but not over-the-top big.  The face framing layers are extremely flattering to the mature woman whose facial structure may have changed over the years.  I find the layers hide the jowls and the skin that is beginning to sag.  The fullness is stellar and the style just blows me away.  Estetica blew it out of the park with this wig that was introduced last year.  She’s been so popular that she’s been on backorder!  I have two in the shade Caramel Kiss and I just adore her!

Finn and the face-framing layers.  So many layers.  Such a gorgeous head of hair!

And part of the beauty is that she can be combed down a bit to fall into softer layers.  She made 2018 a great hair year!

Now—in no particular order are more of my favorites from last year!

Chloe by Envy Wigs.

This.  The wig that surprised me the most.  My husband got Chloe in the shade Chocolate Cherry for my birthday last year!  I was astounded—both by the wig itself and the color.  Trust me, this wig looked a million percent better in person than in the stock photo!

This Chocolate-Cherry color is everything and a bag of chips!  My husband did good in his choice–he’s got a great eye, doesn’t he?  I’ve already told him I need another Chloe in this shade for my upcoming birthday in April!

She’s a longer bob that can be worn messy.  And I love the messiness or rather, unkempt, look of this wig.  For my husband, she’s a true “French woman” wig.  Why?  Because French women don’t go for a completely “styled” look—they shy away from perfection and it seems that every French (and possibly European) woman dyes her hair a cherry/burgundy shade after she reaches the age of 50.

And shaken (not stirred) and a bit mussed up, Chloe looks even better!

Chloe is dense and slightly layered and just plain fun!

Hayden by Henry Margu. Shade 7H

I’ve become introduced to this brand in 2018.  And am I glad I did!  Henry Margu does color blending like no other wig company.  I swear the shades are blended better than natural hair can be at a salon! How does this family-owned wig company do it?

Hayden is a wavy-bob lover’s dream!  This shade of 7H is astounding.  I don’t know how Henry Margu does it but the person who comes up with the brand’s shades and color blends is a freaking genius!  I also love the slight choppiness of Hayden!  

Anyway, Hayden is a chin-length bob with layering.  I’m a fan of this kind of wig because I could never get my bio hair to look this good.  She’s lightweight but not thin.  Dense but not heavy.  Hayden is a great office wig because even though she is layered, she’s still got that professional polish that lends itself well for 9 to 5ing!

Isla by Tony of Beverly. Shade Rooted Sandstone.

Isla is the most intriguing wig I’ve ever seen.  From the stock photo she is a wig that you would pass by and I’ve passed her by many times.  However, when one of the women I follow on Instagram posted a pic I was blown away at how great Isla looked on a real person and not a mannequin head!

Isla love Isla!  And to this day she remains the most-complimented wig.  Even the hubs loves her which I thought unusual since he favors longer wigs!

ATTN:  Tony of Beverly finally changed the stock photo to a more flattering one!  See how cute she is?

The other great thing is Isla is a very affordable lace-front synthetic bridge wig. She is also the shortest of my favorite wigs.  At under $175, she is a great, great value because she is well-constructed, long wearing and always looks great.  This is one wig that I continue to receive tons of compliments on every time I wear her.  Tony of Beverly makes a great wig.  My only gripe with the brand is that they don’t partake in any wig site’s discount programs which is too bad because I would love to have more of the brands wigs but they are too pricey without that discount.

Estetica Designs Violet

Here’s Ms. Violet!  Another wavy bob!  My most-worn wig last summer!  

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Violet. Last Spring.  She topped my noggin when I went to see Amadeus on the big screen at the Colonial Theatre in Phoenixville!

Ahhhhhhhh. Violet. I swear she was my most-worn wig last summer.  She’s a great summer bob.   Just the right amount of wave and a great summer length, she always looks great.  I have a few Violets and wore her in various color rotation last summer but my favorite is Carmel Kiss!  She reminds me a bit of Hayden but not as dense.  Nice layering throughout and very, very warm-weather friendly.

Alice by Uniwigs LaVivid Collection.

Hmmmm. At first I was unsure of Alice–and what happened? She ended up to be a favorite of 2018!

Now this is an unusual one.  When I first got Alice I was a bit on the fence.  She isn’t “big” and I love bigger hair.  There’s no permatease and I love me some permatease.  And she isn’t thick. I love thick. But rather than three strikes your out, it ended up that Alice turned out to be one of my faves!  She isn’t dense but she’s got enough density that the wefts don’t show through at all.  The lack of permatease didn’t hinder the good looks of this long bob.  And even though she isn’t big, she is very comfortable and manages to always look good on—she never looks “little”.  I’ve worn her to work a lot and after a day at the office, she’s never tangled or matted up on me.  In fact, she was my Christmas wig and all the guests loved her.  She’s a lace front wig and for the woman who isn’t a fan of permatease—this is a perfect wig for you!

Alice. In the shade “Almond Frost”  I would safely say that this is LaVivid’s most beautiful wig–a true LOB–Long Bob!

The last two wigs are latecomers to my 2018 collection but made such an impression that I almost forgot about all the other wigs and fell in love.  Both of these wigs have been worn on a regular basis since receiving them.  And both were wigs that I’ve wanted for a long time!

Brooklyn by Estetica Designs.

 

Brooklyn also has a rather “sensual” side to her.  Layers longer than Finn but boy, is she a beauty!

She could be Finn’s longer-layered sister!  She’s about the same length as Finn, grazing the shoulders but her layers are long.  She has a very natural wave pattern without being over-the-top.  She is dense and slightly thicker, making her a perfect choice of wig for those who have bio hair that was/is thick.  That she grazes the shoulder means she won’t get tangled when you wear textured sweaters or wool blazers or scarves.  She is, a great, great fall/winter wig—even spring for those cool spring days!

A most pragmatic length that cuts the shoulders, she doesn’t tangle with textured fabric.  I just love her!

Kendall by Henry Margu.

This.  This!!!!  Look at that color blend. OMG. This is miracle blending!  And Kendall. She’s pretty-much as close to perfection as it gets!  The layering is so beautiful and face-framing!

Once again, Henry Margu knocks it out of the ballpark with their stellar color blends.  I swear the shade 626 H is one of the most beautiful shades of wig I’ve ever seen.  It looks like salon lowlights.  Now—she could be Hayden’s longer sister!  She’s shaggy without being sloppy.   The layering is perfect. And like Estetica’s Finn, Margu’s Kendall is extremely, mature-woman friendly due to the way the layers fall around the jawline.  This softens my square jaw like nobody’s business.  The Margu wigs are also very comfortable to wear.  The length is wonderful.  The style just beautiful.  Kendall is definitely a favorite and will remain one throughout 2019!

How stinking gorgeous is this head of hair?  Henry Margu definitely created a winner in Kendall and I am head-over-heels with her!

Do I miss my bio hair?  For the most part–yeah. I do.  I think it is only natural than any woman would miss her bio hair.  But I’m a realist.  It’s not coming back.  My choices are to walk around half bald or get a wig.  And the wigs that I love have helped me to achieve a level of self-confidence and make me feel good about myself!

One of the last photos taken with my bio hair. This is from 2015. Chippy photobombed me. I had gotten back from the salon and Adam blew my hair out.  I miss Adam.  I miss my time at Bleu Mousse salon but I can only move forward.  The new normal for me is wearing wigs–and that’s fine!

That’s it for my favorite bridge wigs of 2018.  If you want to see more on how they look, here’s my YouTube video!

Honestly, if you are experiencing hair loss please don’t try to ignore it.  There are solutions.  And while I don’t believe in many of the mumbo jumbo products that promise to grow hair—and for a very expensive price, I am a huge fan of wigs and for minimal hair loss, toppers.  Toppik hair fibers works wonders for those who are starting to experience hair loss—the fibers really work and I used them for years with great success.

If you are a wearer of wigs, please comment on your faves—it’s fun to share!

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Ring Around My Nosey—An Adult Mid-Life Crisis!

It started out innocently enough.

As innocent as a child playing Ring Around the Rosey!

I was thinking back to when I was in my early twenties—before I left home and went out on my own.  I wanted to pierce my nose.

Me in my early twenties pondering getting a nose ring–I even thought about it on the subway!

There were two things stopping me.   My mother and father.  And my dad was a police officer.

The fact is, I’ve never been in trouble with the law—unless you count my dad.

Now understand; I wasn’t a wild child.  In fact, I was uncommonly obedient.  My mother’s wooden spoons kept me in line!

My mother didn’t want to ruin her manicured hands so she used these to keep us in line. And she used a lot of these!

OK…. maybe I did a few things that were wild like sneaking out of the house and drinking Boones Farm with friends at 15 years old—a few years before legal drinking age.

That’s right!  I loved to have a good time without being too wild! Tee hee!

And having a pierced nose was my theoretic way of rebelling.

All I’ve ever wanted was a nose ring.  I think they look great!

That rebellion was placed on the back burner.

And as a mother to young children, I had no time to think about piercing my nose. I was lucky if I had the time to insert earrings into my small pierced hole in each ear.

But as I got older—perhaps it’s a bit of a mid-life crisis of sorts.  My mind wandered back to that elusive nose piercing.

It’s true. Even in my mature age, my delusions had me yearning to be the cool girl—or old broad! I’ll take either.

See–even Willy Wonka knows a good thing when he sees it!

I wanted to be like Debra Rapoport and Sarah Jane Adams.  They are two cool mature ladies.

Debra Rapoport and Sarah Jane Adams of The Advanced Style movement.  They are the two cool girls of the proaging set! I wanna be cool like them–in my own way!

But the thing is—my style is more on the classic to almost conservative-with-an-edge sort.

We all know my style is more basic–but fun!!!

Even in my choice of wigs, I won’t stray far. Burgundy and blonde tresses are a stretch for me!  Purple, pink and other bright colors just aren’t for me.

My chocolate cherry wig.  A big stretch for me and it was a gift from my husband!

Tattoos aren’t my thing either.  My skin is too flabby.

The nose ring, in my humble opinion is a very pragmatic choice of female mid-life crisis!

The thing is—Bonaparte hates nose rings.  We’ve discussed this topic many times and it’s the same old song:

“Non!”  “Ou wheehl nut ‘av yuhr noz pierzt!”  “Wha’ ahr ou?”  “Eh tin-aghar?” “Jamais! Jamais! Jamais!!”

In other words—“No.  You will not have your nose pierced.  What are you?  A teenager?  Never! Never! Never!

He gets just sooooooooo worked up at the mere mention of my getting my nose pierced!

And with a sigh, and a huff, and an eyeroll, I just walk away.  And realize that adulting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be when you want to have fun!

 

Sometimes adulting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be–especially when you live with a very adult adult!  I oftentimes find myself in this very situation!

My daughter, Oona, pierced her nose when she was a college co-ed.  She claims that I cried and I can assure you I cried out of envy.  Two weeks later she had a sorority formal and took the stud out of her nose.  Permanently.

Spoiler Alert!!  This is an actual text conversation between Oona and me.  It’s a spoiler for the rest of the post but please…read on! This was texted to me after an Instagam post I made.

And as you know, there’s always a solution to any problem.  I’m a regular Mary Poppins when it comes to that!

I channeled my original Mary Poppins! I had to give mysef a hand!

My solution was to buy a fake nose ring!  I mean, I have fake hair, fake nails and sport fake-tanned legs throughout the year.  Why not buy a fake nose ring?

And one night, as I sat at my laptop perusing Amazon. I found what I was looking for!  It was beautiful.  A tiny fake gold nose ring.

I’m more of a gold and silver girl but here’s a sampling of what one can purchase from Amazon!

I had it all figured out. I could insert the little ring in my nose as soon as Bonaparte left for work.  Then the moment my car drove into the driveway in the evening, I could take the ring out and slip it in my wallet.  And Bonaparte would never find out.

Things didn’t go quite as planned though.  The day after my nose ring arrived, I slipped it into my nose.  Everyone at work loved it.  My Instagram post got plenty of raves!   I was feelin’ the cool!

Yes. I did!  I wore that fake nose ring and felt so great…especially since it was such a contrast to the way I was dressed…

Preppy pink corduroy pants, paisly print fats from J. Crew a navy top with pearls.  A bobbed wig and a nose ring!  I live for this contrast!

But the nose ring was so lightweight that I forgot I had it on my nose. And when I arrived home from work, I took off my coat, headed upstairs and Bonaparte, the loving Frenchman greeted me!  And then he asked me to come closer to him.

Oops!  I did it again!

Me, being me, thought he was so excited to see me that he wanted to kiss me.  Except he didn’t.  And let me tell you, for an old Frenchman, he has the eyesight of a ten-year old!

“Wha eez zaht een ou nose?”

And that was the beginning of the end.  I turned around quickly to run upstairs but I felt to warm hands on my shoulders.  Those hands turned me around to face him.  And the look of shock on his face was enough to make me realize he thought I pierced my nose!  I was so happy that he thought it was real.  It meant the fake nose ring looked real!

Only in my case it’s my husband!  

Like a proud child showing a parent a paper that was graded with an A+, I pointed to my nose ring and gleefully announced it was fake!

What happened next shocked me.  He confiscated my ring!  And in my efforts to explain that he could not, must not, throw my nose ring away, he simply ran upstairs and hid it!

He took my nose ring out of my nose!!!!   And hid it!!!

So much for my mid-life crisis.  I’m not allowed to have one!

Bonaparte thinks I’m too old for a pierced nose.  I don’t.  But we came to an agreement.

Our life is the French version of  “I Love Lucy”–but it’s more fun with Bonaparte!

I’ll wear the nose ring when I’m out and about by myself or when I’m not with him.

Yeah.  I can wear this when I get my nails done and run to the gas station and Starbucks! That’s about it!

And for now, that’s fine with me because I pretty-much wear and do what I want.  And if the nose ring bothers my husband that much, I won’t wear it in front of him.  It’s called compromise.

I finally achieved my level of coolness–but it’s only for a certain amount of time!

Besides…. I have a few more hidden in my private hiding spot!

That’s right Bonaparte!  Join le club because I’ll eventually get my way!

Have you gone through any mid-life crisis in your pro-age?  Have you rebelled as a mature adult?  Let’s hear it ladies!  Let’s hear it!

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Atypical60 Favorites of 2018—The Makeup Edition

Now that we are into 2019, it gives me the pleasure of looking back on makeup items that I consider favorites of the last year.

Disregarding my huge pimple, who I’ve named Priscilla the Pimple, I am wearing many of the products I’m writing about in this post!

I let go of the phrase “best of” simply because I don’t know if these products truly are the best. But I do know that I used them a lot—enough to put them into my “favorites” category.  Some were carryovers from last year and some more recent purchases. Either way, there’s a reason that I added them.

Let’s take a look—shall we?

Primer: Hard Candy’s primer has been my most-used of 2018 coming in at around $8.00 this is a great primer. A tiny bit goes a long way and it is very mature-skin friendly.  I’m also fond of Etude House Face Blur which I purchased on Amazon. I took a chance with this Korean brand and love it.

Oops!  Looks like I need to buy more of the Hard Candy!!!! Both these primers are very mature-skin friendly!

Coming in third—Embryolisse cream.  I’ve only been using this since November and honestly was on the fence in adding this as a favorite of 2018.  But I’ve been using it on a constant basis and although it retails for around $25 here in the States, I picked it up at CityPharma in Paris for less than half price.  It’s a cream that hydrates while doubling as a primer.  What more could you ask for?

This is a multi-purpose dream cream!  Takes makeup off, acts as a moisturizer.  I purchased two tubes at CityPharma in Paris.  I should have bought four of them!

Why do I like a primer?  Well, at our age, a primer is like a “glue” that holds the foundation to the skin and acts like an agent to smooth things out.  It’s important.  Maybe we didn’t need a primer when we were younger but, in all honesty, as we pro-age, a primer is a good thing.

Corrector:  Laudy Miss Claudy. I’m not big on correctors because with the proper application of concealer and foundation, ya really don’t need a corrector. But…. there’s something to be said about that “blue” area that exists right off your nose into your eye by the tear duct.  This, the ever-wonderful Well-Rested concealer powder by bareMinerals is my Holy Grail.  In fact, I don’t even consider it a concealer per se.  I consider it a corrector extraordinaire!  I’ve been using this for over ten years and there’s no stopping me.  Applied over the eyelid and under the browbone over to that weird blue area, it covers everything and gives a great base for applying eyeshadow.  How do I love this?  Enough that I’m on auto-delivery every three months from bareMinerals.

Well-Rested. My Holy Grail and I’ve been using this for over ten years.  I’m now on auto-delivery from bareMinerals and am so happy that I am!!!  

Foundation: This was a tough category to narrow down to favorites.  I’ve got a rather decent collection of foundations running the gamut of pricey to not-so-pricey and the surprise is that the less-pricey foundations were the ones that made the “favorites” cut!

The Ordinary Serum Foundation and the Ordinary Coverage Foundation.  Both of these foundations are excellent.  Under seven dollars each, they have been serving me well since 2016! I have unopened backups at the ready.  And have written about them in past posts.

These foundations will not stop being a favorite. The price is lower than most drug store brands and the quality is better than luxury brands.  I see that I’m running low–no worries because I have backups in my stash!

Both blend into the skin with no tell-tale cakiness and the funny thing is that the Serum Foundation is actually better at coverage than the Coverage Foundation.  Both can be built for additional coverage and give a smooth finish.

LA Girl Liquid Foundation—I found out about this Ten-dollar gem through Tati Westbrook on her YouTube channel.  She was raving about how great it is and now, months later, this has become one of my faves.  In fact, I purchased a second one last week because I’m reaching the bottom of the bottle.

I recently purchased a second bottle of this because I’m running low–thank you Tati!  

The finish is a bit thicker than The Ordinary Foundations but the coverage is spot on.  Blends well and stays put all day.  Doesn’t dry out the mature skin either!

Last of the liquids—Wet n Wild Photo focus foundation.  I pay $5.90 a bottle for this foundation and have it in four different shades for various reasons.  One being that I couldn’t find an exact match so I mix two shades.  The other reason is that I need a darker foundation when I film my YouTube videos.

Due to the nature of lack of shade choices, I need to blend two shades when I use this but it doesn’t even matter.  The finish is matte without looking dry and it blends like a second skin!

This foundation blends like a second skin.  I swear, when I blend the two shades then apply to my face, there are times when I can’t even tell where I applied.  This foundation is an incredible value and a stellar foundation.

TIP:  I always use a drop of oil to my liquid foundation to make it glide on just a bit smoother and add a bit of hydration.

$6.80 on Deciem’s site.  I ordered another one because I’m running low. I. USE.THIS.EVERY. DAY!!!!

Stick Foundation: 2018 will be known as the year that I re-discovered stick foundation.  Many decades ago I used Max Factor Pan Stick—mostly to cover teen angst acne.  But as I aged the stick was dry and looked awful. The new stick-foundations are not as dry and they are creamier.

The two stick foundations that I use and love are Makeup Revolution’s Fast Base Stick Foundation.  At $9.00 the stick, this is a fantastic value.  The foundation glides on nicely and blends very well with the use of the proper brush (I’ll get to that) and blending sponge.  For an affordable-priced foundation, this is a winner.

The second stick foundation is one I’ve purchased a few months ago and I love it so much that I bought a backup (the set was purchased on QVC and was worth it because of the foundation). Kristofer Buckle Triplicity Foundation Stick.  This is unlike any stick foundation ever. It is so incredibly creamy and there is a built-in primer in the middle of the stick.  It is smooth as buttah and is so easy to work with. It gives your skin a beautiful finish.  I’m hoping Kristofer Buckle never discontinues this!

Two excellent stick foundations.  The one I prefer is the Kristofer Buckle because it is creamer and you get more product.  The Makeup Revolution is also excellent but for the $9.00 you don’t get a ton of product but this is full-coverage and blends wonderfully!

*You may notice that I didn’t add any cushion foundations to my favorites.  There’s a reason for this.  Although I do like cushion foundations, there is not enough product to warrant being a favorite. The finish is a dewy one, which I like but I’ll tell you, none of my cushion foundations have lasted more than three or four weeks.  It isn’t worth it.  Just my opinion.

Although I did rave about this cushion foundation in a past post, it didn’t make the cut.  I’m sorry-not-sorry but the tiny amount of product for the price is ridiculous–and I find this to be an issue with all the cushion foundations I’ve used.  This gives a dewy finish but at the end of the day, I want my money’s worth!

Brushes: I figure this would be a good time to discuss brushes.  It’s difficult to pinpoint absolute favorites for this category because many brushes are excellent.  But…I have a few that I use in constant rotation.

Eco Tools 360 Blending Brushes are the best for blending in stick foundations, cream contours and cream blushes.  They are so dense and slightly beveled at the rim, making the brushes perfect for blending near the eyes, mouth and nose.  A set of three costs $16.99.  You get a foundation brush, blush brush and concealer brush but the one I use every day is the foundation brush.

Top Left–The ECO Tools 360 Foundation Brush. Top Right–iT cosmetics Foundation Brush (yeah–it’s dirty because I am behind on washing my brushes!)  Bottom Left:  Tarte Brush that I use as a buffer after my foundation is applied.  Bottom Right. iT cosmetics brow brush and iT cosmetics Powder brush! All are excellent!

iT Cosmetics Brushes are a brand that I have many of and if I posted a pic of all my iT brushes I would be here till midnight.

But–I have a ton of brushes and inexpensive brushes work just as well if you can find a good value!

Eyeshadow Palettes: This was a tough call only because I have so many of ‘em!  I did manage to narrow them down.  The palettes that I chose as my favorites are mostly neutrals with a couple having more options.

Shade and Light by Kat Von D.  This is pretty-much every woman’s neutral palette. The shadows are grouped into cool, neutral and warm neutral shades and personally, you can mix and match with ease.  She basically has a contour palette for eyes—which is basically what neutral do—they contour the eyes.  This is currently on sale at TJ Maxx for $20 compared to the original price of $48.

Kat Von D Shade and Light palette. I also have this in the glimmer palette. The neutrals in this are excellent and it’s a great every-day shadow collection.  They are mattes without being chalky or ashy!

My MAC quad palette that I made myself.  Quarry, Gesso,  and the other two.  I love this bespoke palette and I’ve hit pan on my two faves already.  What I love about this one is that the shadows all work so well with each other.  It’s a no-brainer if I just want an easy eye shadow application.  I think I paid about $22 for the entire thing.

I hit pan on this big time!  And the little quad palette is a mess–but that means you can see that I use this all the time!!

The Emily Edit—The Wants.  This palette.  I’ve used this so much and have gotten quite a few different looks with it but for the most part, I stick to the more neutral colors in this huge palette.  It retails for $20 and is well-worth the price.  The berry shades and green shades came in handy over the holidays!  And I’ve hit pan on the “cream” shadow.

I’m a huge follower of EmilyNoel83 and when I found out she collabed with Makeup Revolution, I did the happy dance. I LOVE the shades in this palette. Already hit pan on Cream!  For the money, at $20, this palette cannot be beat!

The Emily Edit—The Needs.  Best $15 I’ve ever spent on a palette—or rather, $30 because I bought two!  One in my every-day collection and one in my travel bag. Honestly, this palette is the perfect travel palette because you can use the cheek color on your eyes too.

Take a good look at this palette and place it in your memory bank. You NEED this for travel and your upcoming summer vacay.  You won’t need anything else. It’s all covered as far as eyes, cheeks and highlighting goes!

Tarte Tartelette in Bloom.  Back in the Spring I returned a Tarte eyeshadow palette because it was awful.  However, this palette is definitely a favorite because of the varied choices of neutrals.  The shadows aren’t chalky either. They are well-pigmented, apply nicely and last.  If you are looking for a purely neutral palette, this is for you!

Another palette that I use a lot!  I’m a neutral girl and I love the mix of mattes and shimmers. This is an excellent palette–Tarte did good with this one!

Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture.  This is the last palette I would ever think could’ve become a favorite—but it did and it is!  This collection of shadows didn’t get a lot of love from many big-time beauty gurus but I love it.  The shadows are so well-pigmented to the point you just need but a dusting on your brush!  The colors may look a little out of the neutral comfort zone but they do apply more neutral than “in-your-face”

I am the last person on earth who I figured would ever buy this palette but when I saw it IRL at TJ Maxx and on deep discount I made the purchase and am so happy that I did. I love this so much and a touch is all you need–this is one super-pigmented palette!

Brow Product: It’s my Holy Grail.  I’ve tried others and keep coming back to…..Anastasia Beverly Hills DipBrow.  This gel product is, hands down, the best.  My first jar lasted for almost four years.  I’m on my second and I apply with a thin brush from iT cosmetics.  It stays put.  And—doesn’t oxidize. And—ABH created a dark enough color that is truly dark.  Some of us love dark eyebrows! At $18, this is practically a steal because it lasts so darn long!

This tiny jar of brow gel goes a long, long, long way!  Best brow stuff I’ve ever used!

Concealer: This is a thing that I’ve started using only within the last couple of years.  Wearing eyeglasses causes shadows and I read that concealer under the eyes brightens the area.  I also like to add concealer to my nose simply as an extra to guard against the redness that sometimes comes.  While I don’t like a too-thick concealer one of these is very thick but needs to be applied in a very tiny amount. And I mean tiny.

Mac Pro Longwear Concealer: This is a big favorite for me.  Again, a tiny amount is more than sufficient but the skin tone that I have blends in so nicely and gives a great finish. I also like the fact the concealer comes in a glass pump bottle. For some reason, glass seems more sterile to me.

Tarte Shape tape: I’ve read many pro and con reviews for this.  The cons coming from the mature demographic.  Applied sparingly, this is a fantastic concealer. It does the job. Blends well. Doesn’t cake up!  Works for me!

Maybelline Age Rewind Concealer: Maybelline cosmetics do not fare well with me.  I’m not a fan of their foundations nor am I a fan of their eyeshadows or mascaras.  But this concealer (I pay $7 and change at Walmart) is fantastic!  I’m on my third one!  More liquidy than other concealers and a lighter weight, it still manages to cover in the most hydrating way!  Blends beautifully—and that sponge applicator tip makes it even better to blend!

My “Big Three”  Left to right–Shape Tape, Pro Longwear Concealer and Age Rewind.  All are different yet all work remarkably well!

BTW, I use this iT concealer brush to apply and blend. It works wonders!

Contour/Bronzer: I almost went with the contour/bronzer but truth be told, I really don’t have a favorite “Bronzer”.  During the summer months, I get color from the sun and from fake tanning, eliminating the need for bronzer but when I do use it, I go for the cheap stuff. So, I’ll stick with the contour for now.

Benefit Cosmetics Hoola: Some may argue but for my cool skin-tone, this stuff works.  And let me tell you, I purchased a mini for $16 which I still feel was pricey for a mini but…. only a small amount is needed to contour the face and I use a Sephora brush that I had hanging around to apply simply because the brush fits perfectly into the small Hoola box of powder!

This Hoola bronzer/contour works very well and I’ve been using it constantly..

See that second brush from the left?  I apply the Hoola with it!  On the far left is a Morphe blending brush that I swear by.  It is the greatest brush for blending shadow and to the right of the contour brush is a cheap brush from e.l.f. that I use for applying shadow to the crease!

Charlotte Tilbury Ibiza Beach Stick: I’ve had this creamy stick for over a year and it’s still going strong.  I like a cream contour –and this glides on so incredibly smoothly! Blends well and always looks natural.

Fenty Beauty MatchStix in Amber:  This stick contour is absolutely amazing.  For cool-toned women, this is a godsend.  The shade is a very cool taupe, almost grey but gives the perfect shadow and contour to the face. It isn’t as “creamy” as the Tilbury Beach Stick but with the right applicator works just fine.  And—it lasts forever!

On the left, Ibiza Beach Stick from Charlotte Tilbury and on the right Amber Match Stix from Fenty Beauty.  Both were not cheap but I’ve had them for over a year!  I especially like the Ibiza in the summer months!

Blush: 2018 was the year I went back to using powder blush! I have to say; my favorite of 2018 is the Laura Geller Baked Blush in the shade Cherry Truffle.  AND—one of the blog’s best friends, Sandy Salin sent this to me because it didn’t work for her!  Well, it worked for me and I use it just about every day! In the container the color comes off as a dark, rose but boy, it blends in so well with my cool coloring.  I shall be ever-thankful to Sandy because I plan on ordering this when I start running low!

Laura Geller Baked Blush in Cherry Truffle. This is a beautiful blush. I feel bad that it didn’t work for our friend Sandy.  But it works for me!  Thank you Sandy!!!!!!

Stila Convertible Color in Sweet Pea: Don’t get me started on Stila—one of my favorite eyeshadow palettes and they discontinued it.  Sweet Pea was/is my favorite cream blush and you can see from the photo just how favorite it is!   The only availability left is eBay and I refuse to buy from there—too many fakes.  And I’m not buying a used product!  So, in 2019 my search for the perfect cream blush will commence!  The pink color of this is perfect!  It isn’t too bright—isn’t too dull, never looks clownish, blends in well and why the hell it was discontinued is beyond me!  I can’t even with Stila anymore!

This is so pitiful!  There’s hardly anything left of this blush and I’ll use it till there’s nothing.  I apply with the Eco Tools 360 blush brush!  I will never forgive Stila for discontinuing this one!

Highlighter:  This is an odd category because I do use highlighter but I can’t really say that any one is my favorite.  They all seem to do a decent job.  But—if I have to pick favorites, I’ll go with NYX Bright Idea Illuminating Stick in Lavender Lust.  It’s inexpensive—I think I paid maybe between 6 and 7 bucks.  It is a creamy stick and does the job—a nice subtle highlight.

This gives a beautiful finish and glides on smoothly.  At a drug store price–it is excellent quality and a great value!

In the pricier and powder highlighter area is Jeffree Star Sarcophagus Skin Frost. This powder is soft as buttah!  Applied lightly it gives a beautiful glow and yes it looks great on mature skin.  At $29 it may seem pricey but the amount you get is huge and since you barely need any—it’s a great buy.

Image result for atypical60 sarcophagus

This photo was taken when my Skin Frost was new. It doesn’t look like that anymore but I LOVE the glow that this gives off!!

Lip Color: I can’t even go into favorites with this one.  I wear a cocktail of shades practically every day and nothing (except Cover Girl Outlast) stays on more than a couple of hours—and that’s a stretch.  I’m just gonna focus on ones I wear more than others. MAC Lip Pencil in Half-Red.  I use it all the time as a base of sorts.  The color is flattering for all skin tones.

Image result for half red mac lip liner

Allow me to say that this is the most universally flattering lip lining pencil.  I love this so much!

Essence Cosmetics Shine, Shine, Shine Clear Gloss Since I’m of the shiny, big lips school, this is, hands down, the shiniest gloss ever. It’s $3.99 at Ulta and when I went last week to stock up (I have two), they were sold out. I was angry.  Very angry.  You will not do better than this!

Although it has taken on a pink hue, it is due to my applying this over colored lip products and now it’s a clear pink!

NYX Butter Gloss in Merengue.  Simply put—best pink gloss ever.  I’m waiting for NYX to discontinue this because that’s the story of my life in makeup!

I’m waiting………because NYX will pull a fast one and discontinue Merengue. I better start hoarding!

Setting Powder: Thanks to my Kristofer Buckle Vanity Set, 2018 was the year I started using powder to set my makeup.  Actually, I use it to set my concealer and then spread the excess over my face. This powder is so finely-milled that it is not going to look caked up on mature skin and surprisingly it gives a beautiful finish and keeps the makeup set all day!!

Not only do I have a second backup–but I ordered a third.  At just under $25, this is a steal!!!  The foundation stick alone is more expensive. Head to QVC. Right now. Order this kit. Kristofer Buckle has top-quality products and he’s Mariah Carey’s personal makeup artist!!

As you can see, this powder is getting a ton of love from me. I sifted some product out so you could get a better look!

Mascara:  I’m currently into and very into the L’Oréal Voluminous Mascara Base and the Mascara.  I’ve been using both regularly since the summer and I like the way it makes the lashes look. Thicker.

My new favorite mascara and base!  Let’s see if it’ll make it as a fave through 20191

I’m also sweet on the Kristofer Buckle mascara.  Gives a nice separation of lashes while appearing thick but not too thick.

Let’s also say that 2018 was the year I found out about Kristofer Buckle cosmetics!  I’m stanning him!

For bottom lashes, I use every single travel-sized and sample mascara I have.  The tiny applicator works wonders on bottom lashes.

A travel-sized Lights, Camera, Lashes mascara–works so well on bottom lashes!

Eyeliner: 2018 was a game-changer for me with eyeliner.  No longer do I apply liner on my lids.  It was closing my eyes and making them look smaller.  I’m using gel pencils to tightline under my lashes and the two pencils that are fantastic are Mally Evercolor Gel Waterproof liner and bareMinerals Lasting Line.  Both pencils product stays on all day!  I never have to reapply!

Game-changer!  These gel liners are crazy-great. The gel stays put and the pencils are thin making it perfect for tightlining!  

Of Note: I don’t use a setting spray.  Instead I have spray waters that I use and they do the same job for a lot less.

The spray on the left–I paid 2 euros for at CityPharma and it smells delightful.  I’m a fan of the Mario Badescu sprays too and both work fine as setting sprays!

I’ve created an idea list for you from my Amazon Page:  IDEA LIST-Makeup favorites from 2018.  It’s for reference in case you go shopping but take a good look because the Amazon prices run the gamut of overpriced to the point you can get some of these products for a better price on Amazon. Who knew–right?

Just as an aside. THIS is the look Chippy gave me earlier when I went over to MY loveseat to take a break.  It is now HIS loveseat.  Guess who rules the roost?

That’s right. It is no longer my and Bonaparte’s home.  It is Chippy’s!

Items that I left off—well, it doesn’t mean I don’t like them.  But these items came into my most-used and what I found to be most pragmatic choices.  We all have favorites but I tend to think of the products above as very mature-skin friendly.

Don’t be afraid.  Add your favorites  of 2018 to the list in the comments!

Posted in Makeup favorites of 2018, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 13 Comments

The Christmas Chronicles Part II—Letting Go

Hey All!  Happy New Year!  I meant to publish this post on Saturday, but I’ve been having MAJOR issues with this laptop and my iPhone.  So–without further ado (let’s hope)..

Even though Christmas was, technically, last year, I hope everyone enjoyed the Holiday Season!

The nest is empty now.  I can hear my husband upstairs.  He is on the phone with his credit card company to dispute a charge from Mealey’s Furniture.  We purchased a small armoire for one of the guest rooms and the piece arrived damaged.  I won’t elaborate on the God-awful customer service of Mealey’s because that’s an entire blog post.

Chippy is in his usual spot-the top corner of one of the loveseat  in the sun room.

My home may be an empty nest but Chippy sure loves to nest in between the cushions of the love seat and sofas!

It is 2:41 PM.  Honing in on late afternoon and the sun is beginning its descent as the shadows outside grow bigger and darker.  I’m enjoying a cup of afternoon tea accompanied by three types of biscotti that I made for Christmas.  And I’m savoring them even though I gasped at the sight of my bare body after taking a bath just an hour ago.  I gained weight in the Autumn to Winter months and even though Winter officially began eight days ago,

And as I write this post, I’m enjoying the same cup of tea but no biscotti.  I’m through with carbs for a while and have to go through withdrawal!  Oy! But I’ll tell you, this biscotti was great–and I thought the recipe was a fail but I had to let the biscotti cool off completely!

I’m planning my weight-loss strategy for Oona’s wedding this coming summer. But I’ll be honest.  I’m enjoying tonight, tomorrow night and New Year’s Eve to the fullest—even though I’ll suffer the pangs of a “food over” (my term for a hangover but with food), I’ll have that foie gras anyway!

Our last meal of 2018 started off with my homemade bread, The Good Loaf, Pate Foie Gras de Cannard and a nice Sauternes wine.  Goodbye carbs!  

The house is so freaking quiet.  The background din of the kids’ conversations is over.  The TV is resting from an overload of sporting events, Christmas movie marathons (when did “Die Hard” become a Christmas movie anyway?), and Netflix documentaries.

The house went from this….

To this in a matter of hours!

No more greenery, ribbon and lights on the bannisters

festive pillows and throws packed away till next November..

Back to normal…

…and the Ponsettias on the armoire have been replaced with Ruby’s (My beloved yellow lab, Rest in Peace), stuffed toy, Baby, who watches over us.

But allow me to backtrack….

A week ago, today, in fact, as I write this, we picked up Jake at Philly Airport.  The ride home wasn’t animated because my oldest son is the quiet man. But his presence makes me happy.

Even as a young boy, he was the quiet one–but the thinker and listener!

The duck was great.  (Christmas Chronicles—All I Want is a Freaking Duck!!!)  In fact, the two ducks were great.  Jake, Bonaparte and I sat down to a wonderful dinner and at meal’s end Oona and Sam arrived with Gracie in tow to commence dining on Duck Number Two.

Why make one when two ducks are just ducky!

And might I add, Bonaparte got rid of my pillows to sit on CHIPPY’s  love seat with our grandpuppy Gracie!

On Sunday, Roman arrived and the little kiddles were complete.  The house was happy as everyone went on as though they lived here permanently.  Jake went off to the gym.  Oona and Sam did laundry.  Roman walked the dogs.  I cooked.  And Bonaparte went upstairs, closed the bedroom door and read the papers.

Now that Roman (from Christmas’s past where the best gift is an empty box to play in…

…and my baby girl Oona were home–it was like old times (exept now my chin has disappeared and I need my eyeglasses on 24/7.  I also had all my hair!)

Dinner was the most requested meal—Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken and the kids were stuffed and satisfied.  And later on, we gathered in the living room—to talk, watch TV and just enjoy each other.

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The most requested dish–but this time I made it with five pounds of chicken thighs!

Our Christmas Eve was pleasantly uneventful.  I worked during the day.  There’s something so Dickensian about working on Christmas Eve though.  Lighter traffic doesn’t necessarily make the morning or evening commute pleasant—It just makes you wonder what kind of company you really work for! In any event, the workload was steady and all my tasks were completed by the early dismissal of 2PM.

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Yes. In the world of me, all companies would be off on Christmas Eve as well as Christmas Day!  

And this is what I love about my kids.  They went to a movie in the afternoon—they saw The Mule (which did not get rave reviews from my little crew of film critics).  And, leave it to Jake, they found an “authentic” Chinese restaurant to take food home for dinner.  And when I say authentic, I mean it. the restaurant, Han Dynasty, has two menus.  An “Authentic” menu and “American” one. And my quiet man, Jake, treated us all!

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In my real-life version of A Christmas Story we eat Chinese on Christmas Eve–in the house!

We all went for the good stuff.  Bonaparte went to McDonalds.

And, by the way, my new favorite food of all time is “Dandan Noodles”, a subtly spicy blend of noodles pork and Sichuan peppers.  We all agreed that moving forward, Christmas Eve dinner from Han Dynasty would be a tradition. With Bonaparte’s Quarter Pounder from McDonald’s naturally.

And now—for Christmas Day.  If you’re familiar with this blog and have been reading for over a year, then you are aware that we no longer exchange Christmas gifts.  There is no point.  My children live away from home.  Los Angeleeeeezzz, Cincinnati and New York City.  There is no need for them to lug and drag gifts from point A to point B.  There is nothing that I need except for a chin lift of which my children refuse to be a part of.  There’s really nothing that I want except, in my being of deep shallowness—a chin lift!

As we move forward, it’s “presence” not “presents” that make our Christmas a happy one.  This gifts were donated to a child who’s parents couldn’t afford to buy them.  I hope they made her happy!

But seriously.  We all decided after that first year of non-gifting that we were all relieved of the stress of picking out something that anyone would really want, like or need.  We were relieved that we weren’t wasting money.  Money could be better-spent on travel.

There is a flip side of that though.  No longer does anyone wake up at the crack of dawn to see what’s under the tree.  Instead, I’m up early preparing for Christmas dinner and slowly everyone makes their way downstairs to morning coffee and for me to distribute the Christmas Stockings!

It’s all very chill.

Christmas Dinner this year was a success!  My ex-husband and his girlfriend arrived almost on time! And Bonaparte’s daughter and her family arrived almost on time—and their dog Rosie was with them so at this point we had three dogs and 11 people in the house!

Yes.  Our two-dog house expanded and these two were at my side the entire time I was cooking.  Just waiting for any morsel to drop on the floor!

The REAL Three Dog Night!  Chippy, Gracie and Rosie!

Bonaparte’s granddaughter, Sophie, loved the American Girl gifts we gave her (we gift the grandchild!!)

And—despite the drama of Christmas Eve…..WAIT!  I didn’t tell you!

OMG.  Bonaparte took it upon himself to tell his granddaughter that there is no Santa Claus!

I swear I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to.  The actual texts–I’m in the blue!

Jake, Roman, Oona and Sam stood there stunned.

My eyes straightened out for a moment! This was beyond any WTF moment ever.  Who tells an eight-year old that there is no Santa?    Hint:  A certain Frenchman.

Well…. the story unfolded and what happened was this.  Grandpa Frenchman drove granddaughter to school. And in the fray and confusion of dropping granddaughter off (perhaps granddaughter needs to take the school bus moving forward), a conversation ensued.  Granddaughter was talking about those who believe in Santa vs. those who don’t and somewhere in this valley of lost in translation, Grandpa Frenchman blurted out that there is no such thing as Santa.

When we all cornered him, he simply stated that he really wasn’t paying attention to the conversation but paying more attention to the traffic.  (Further proof that school busses are a good thing). Anyway, all was remedied and his granddaughter hasn’t stopped believing!

OK—back to dinner.

My cooking uniform–if you think I’m ruining a good wig with all the steam and heat from the oven–think again!

We started off with the infamous gougeres and Kir Royals.  Followed by a trip to the table.  Everyone took their places and sat patiently whilst I brought out all the dishes.  I started with the beautiful slow-roasted beef tenderloin and it turned out perfectly.  Red in the middle with a light crusting of sea salt and pepper and Rosemary that I ground with my mortar and pestle.  A huge dish of Three-cheese Macaroni and cheese—with the addition of cream. Mashed potatoes, pan-roasted Brussels Sprouts with cranberries and a cranberry glaze, honey-glazed carrots and various sauces.

When I tell you that I was licking my chops like a hungry dog I am not exaggerating.  That meat was the only thing I wanted.

Yes. Tis true. The dogs ate better than I did on Christmas Day..keep reading…

Apron off.  Good wig back on.  I smiled as I made my way to the dining room to take my place at the foot of the table.

I had the good hair, Alice by Uniwigs LaVivid Collection and the pretty makeup–Subculture eye shadow palette by Anastasia Beverly Hills!  I was ready for dinner!

And then I spotted it.  The platter that the glorious beef sat upon.  Only there was nothing on the platter.  I looked around the table.  Everyone had one, two, three and more slices of this manna from a heavenly cow.  Everyone was chomping and telling me in-between bites that it was the best meat I’ve ever roasted.

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I couldn’t take a photo of MY beef because it was all eaten by the time I got to the table! But you can tell from the wear on the pages of the Foolproof cookbook that I make this meat every Christmas!

I looked at my Frenchman.  He looked at me with guilt.  And quickly shoved the last bit of meat that was on his plate in his mouth.

This was the Christmas I got no meat.

Instead, I picked at the Macaroni and Cheese and joined in the conversation.

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The mac and cheese BEFORE it went into the oven!

Overall, Christmas dinner was a success.  A house full of family and extended family who got along well and three dogs who played, begged and were just as happy as the humans.

Everyone knows when you come to my house you eat well!

And that evening after everyone left, we sat around gabbed a bit then went our separate ways into the hall of slumber.

It was the day after that affected me more.  Oona and Sam left because their plans included a wedding that they needed to get ready for.  And I honestly think they also just wanted to be in their own home.  The home they are enjoying as a young couple who are continuing their own wedding plans and enjoying their lives as a twosome.

Ain’t gonna lie. It was sad when these two kids (three counting Gracie) left.  Selfishly speaking, it’s almost painful that they have their own lives without me!

Jake had to fly back to L.A. due to business commitments.  His job is an important one and his visits are shorter and shorter.

That face you make when you get into the car and your son is doing the driving!!!

But—before Roman and I dropped Jake off at the airport, we continued a new and ongoing tradition.  The Philly Cheesesteak never-ending competition.  This year we went to Dalessandro’s in the Roxborough Section of Philly.  As we parked the car, the scent of onions frying wafted through the air.  With each step we took that brought us closer the aroma became stronger.

Dalessandro’s.  Home of a GREAT Cheesesteak–but more than that.  I loved the Roxborough section of Philly. It reminded me a bit of Queens, NY and I miss that city living!

I don’t know what it is with Philadelphians and Cheesesteak but this local joint was mobbed.  We three enjoyed the sandwiches in the warmth of my car and the consensus was that the meat and cheese incorporated together was genius.  The bread very good.  The sandwich enormous but the onions, as great as they smelled, were a slight disappointment.  I was expecting more of a char and having them sliced in rounds then fried.  They were cut into squares and were sweated more so then actually fried.

I can’t even begin to tell you just how good this was–even if I wasn’t crazy abouot the way the onions were cooked!

My ass became wider by two inches.

Our ride to the airport was short and sweet and the second of three children was off to his life across the country.  His quiet approach finds this mom to be intimidated. And I’m oftentimes at a loss for words because I ain’t too smart. So, I’m afraid that my conversations won’t be interesting.  And that makes it even harder to say goodbye.  I always fee that I’ve failed him during his visits.  And I need to stop because I’m starting to cry.

Jake’s distance in LA makes me more sad because the older I get, my time is limited and…..well, you know…

While still relatively early, Roman and I decided to return to Center City.  One of his friends was playing at a club and we tried to catch the show but it was sold out.  I guess we shouldn’t have waited until the last minute.  And so, we drove down to South Street, parked the car and walked all that fat from the Cheesesteak sandwiches off.

Hanging out in Philly…

South Street was relatively quiet but this tree was a beautiful sign of the Holidays!

We took the long way home and drove through neighborhoods looking tripping the Christmas lights fantastic.  There’s something about houses with tons of Christmas lights and decorations that makes you happy.

I’ll admit, this brought back memories. The kids and I would always drive around during the Christmas seasons past to look at the decorated homes.  I miss that.

From the subtle…

..to the more spiritual….

…to the more…..

….entertaining and illustrious!

Back home, Roman got Bonaparte hooked on the street artist Banksy by requesting we all watch a documentary on the elusive artist. And it was a relaxing evening.

Roman left yesterday.  Being a parent doesn’t get easier as the kids grow from child to adult to adult that has moved.

Roman was the last to leave and Bonaparte was very understanding of my sadness.  I really don’t like living far from them but times are different now!

My mood when the kids left–fading and invisible.  

Life as we know it isn’t the life we had when we were younger.  I remember Christmas as being a time of family gatherings and family visits.  Even on Christmas day.  All of our relatives lived within 40 minutes of each other—the farthest being my grandparents, my aunt and another aunt and uncle who lived in Queens.  Everyone else was out on Long Island. And within 20 minutes of each other.

Circa 1960–December at my Aunt Anne’s and Uncle Larry’s I think–or perhaps Aunt Catherine’s and Uncle Johnny’s house. From Left to right.  My brother Tommy; my cousin Michael holding Tommy, my sister Theresa, my cousin AnnMarie, my cousin Kate, my cousin Brendan and me!  

Last year with some of the cousins that were in the photo above!

Family as we know it now is spread throughout the country.  Siblings no longer have homes down the street or ten, twenty minutes away.  They are hours and states—sometimes continents away.

And the hard part is letting go.  Our Christmases heading to the future as a complete family are limited.  Once Oona has children of her own, she will follow my train of thought. She won’t leave her home at Christmas because it will be for her children. Santa will come to her home.

That’s where memories are so important.  Memories of childhood through adulthood.  We need to hold on to them as we lose the physicality of our children being with us.  They don’t need us anymore.  They become their own entities—and in the end that is a beautiful thing and the best gift we can give our children is independence and their being their own person.

And so, I hope each and every one of you who are reading this blog have been blessed with wonderful memories of Christmas!

Let’s move ahead and look to the New Year as a new beginning!

All the best for 2019!!!!!!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 24 Comments

The Christmas Chronicles 2018. WTF?? All I Want is a Freakin’ Duck!

Christmas is arriving in less than a week– time is flying by at such a rapid speed that I feel I’ve been doing everything……………………………………….and nothing!

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Time.  It’s fleeting and I’ve so little of it–but I feel like I’m not getting anywhere!

The house is decorated as tastefully and as discreetly as I could possibly make it with the tree being the center of attention.  I didn’t even load the tree up with all the ornaments we have amassed—I wanted to take it a bit lightly.

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All the bannisters in the house are dressed and lit up…

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The tree has settled in nicely and is decorated but not overdone…

Sofas, loveseats and chairs are festooned with holiday pillows, blankets, and throws!

It’s the small touches and little nuances that are adding a festive look to our home this year.

A plaid tablecloth, a very large poinsettia, milk for Santa and more…

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A basket on the wall with holiday greens and berries..

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Ribbon and garland on the cupboard..

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And the Master of the house admiring it all! That Chippy!

Work has been crazy-busy.  And as much as I thrive on a busy and productive work day, during the holiday prep days, I kind of wish that I had more time. Time.  We all need it during that stretch of year between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Am I right?

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Sometimes not having enough time turns me into a Scroogette.  But not for long!

The list for Christmas dinner has been created and Bonaparte and I will head out to cross the food items off tomorrow as we do the final shop. Luckily, I’m off from work and will be able to get this done!

The kids begin to arrive on Saturday.  I’ll pick Jake up at the airport and Oona and Sam will arrive with their new puppy, Gracie, by car.  Roman will get here on Sunday.

And with that means three nights of family dinners pre-Christmas!

Christmas Eve dinner?  Since we are not big on Christmas Eve and I’ll be preparing for the next day with guests coming over, Christmas Eve is usually relaxed.  When we lived in New Jersey, Christmas Eve was a gathering of neighbors and was wonderful.  Everyone has since moved on which is sad in a way.

But—my new Christmas Eve tradition is take-out.  What’ll it be this year?  Chinese or Asian fusion?  Middle Eastern food (I vote for that)?  Buffalo Wild Wings? We’ll all figure it out together.

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What’ll Christmas Eve be–Chinese?

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Middle Eastern? (yes)

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B-Dubs wings? …or all three?

Sunday’s dinner will be a very-much requested meal by all three kids. Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken.  Always a winner!

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The very well-loved Lemongrass Chicken. Spicey.  Lots of Heat and delicious.  I’ll have to triple up on the recipe and quadrupe on the sauce and rice! A great Sunday night dinner!

But—Saturday evening’s dinner will be slightly different.  At first, I was going to go very casual with a big pot of chili.  But the thing is that Oona can’t stand beans in her Chili.  I love mine with a ton of beans.  And then she added that since she and Sam are driving, they’ll arrive later so they could pick something up.

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My first choice was chili–mmmmm.  But Oona doesn’t like beans in hers!

That left me, the Frenchman and Jake to dine together.  What could I make for Jake that could be special?  Since his move to L.A., I don’t get to see him at all (which makes him happy, I think) and he’s really busy traveling between the coasts to meetings.  He deserves a nice home-cooked meal from mommy!

And so, I decided upon duck.  He loves duck.  Bonaparte loves duck. I love duck.  And the more I thought about it, the more I was determined to make duck.

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I’ve made duck breasts with an orange sauce but not a whole roasted duck with orange sauce1

Now—understand my kids and I have a group text.  When Oona got hold of the duck thing her reaction was a very sibling kind of thing.  But I assured her that there would be plenty of duck for them when they arrive.

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Actual text between me and Oona.  She’ll take the duck!

Now—about the duck.  Have you any idea how difficult it is to buy a friggin’ duck on Philly’s Mainline?  First of all, there are no duck farms around here.  Secondly, I don’t think many people even roast a whole duck anymore.  Thirdly (is that even a word?), I couldn’t even depend on our local Wegmans for duck.

Let me explain something. People think that Wegmans is the be-all and end-all in grocery.  It isn’t.  In the first place, the company insists on product placement in odd areas of the store.  Furthermore, the help, as amiable as they are, have no idea what is in the bowels of the stock area.

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I swear my chances of finding a golden egg are better than finding a duck at Wegmans!

I went in to Wegmans two days ago in search of duck.  Now—the store usually has the ready-packaged D’Artagnan brand duck breasts, duck fat and duck sausage. On this particular day, I picked up the last breast as a safeguard. There was no duck fat (thankfully I have some in my fridge) and…there were no ducks in the frozen weird food’s freezer.

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If I couldn’t find a whole duck, I would scour the Mainline to find a few of these!

This is a freezer set apart from the frozen foods section.  In this freezer, the store has shelves of bone marrow, beef liver, gizzards and other meat oddities.  There had to be about thirty frozen gooses (or is it geese), frozen capon, but no frozen duck.

I then walked over to the “fresh meat” counter—the one where Wegmans fancies it up to make one think there is an actual trained butcher.  But there isn’t.  Anyway, I walked over to the counter and asked the pretend butcher if there was any duck in the back because I didn’t see any in the freezer.

Either this guy’s name was Thomas, aptly named after the doubting Apostle, or he thought I was a student on the short bus who didn’t know what a frozen duck looked like.  He walked over to the freezer to find a duck…and ended up validating my works that there were no frozen ducks.

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Truthfully, I was Jonah to the meat man at Wegmans (even though I DID have my lip waxed over the weekend!)

Stunned at the site of an overabundance of goose, he scratched his head and told me he would go into the back to see if any came in.

After ten minutes he appeared and told me that ducks had, in fact, been delivered but he couldn’t find them.  He took down my name and number and promised me he would call when he found the ducks.  It’s been two days now and he hasn’t called me.  I feel like a rejected date.

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No!  He didn’t.  Duck him!!

Acquiring this duck was now becoming an obsession.  My husband offered to see if he could get one  or two at the Wayne Farmer’s Market when he gets the chicken for Sunday evening.  For me, it’s the principal of the thing.  I declined his offer because I wanted to find the duck and the Farmers Market duck would be very expensive.

Then I thought about my days growing up on Long Island. Duck farms were plentiful out on the East End and now only one is left.  But—at least I know I could get a damned duck if we lived out on Long Island!

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If only we lived out on Long Island.  I would be a regular at Crescent Duck Farm.  The Corwin family would think I’m a duck stalker!

And on the way to work yesterday I had an epiphany.  I could bet that Whole Foods would have duck.  It would be overpriced but perhaps not so much as the Farmers Market.  If I purchased the duck before work, I could store the duck in the office fridge.

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Whole Foods in Devon.  They got the goods!

Have you ever been to Whole Foods?  It’s a trip, that store.  What Walmart is to the common, basic and under-salaried folk, Whole Foods is to the well-salaried, trendy, hip and “I-only-buy-the-best” crowd.

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Thrillist.com got it right about the sterotypical Whole Foods Shopper!  Where we Walmart Shoppers tread in five-buck leggings–Whole Foods has the Lululemon contingent–but they don’t eat–so who are they buying this food for?

I arrived as the store opened.  My Toyota Rav-4 nestled between the Land Rovers and Beemers.  My red coat stood out like the outerwear of a seasoned walk of shamer in the crowd of blonde (real hair too—not wigs like mine), almost anorexic-thin, Tory Burch clones dressed in activewear.  I wondered why they were in a grocery store at all since all they probably consume are two green shakes a day and maybe a raisin or a grape for added protein.

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Not kidding.  99 percent of the women in Whole Foods were Tory Burch lookalikes.  The other one percent was me!

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Note to self:  Next time you are going to shop at Whole Foods please wear a blonde wig! Also. Lose thirty pounds and don activewear.  Only buy ingreeds for a green shake.  Then buy a duck!

Then I had a ray of hope—these women would never eat a duck—there’s too much fat!

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And speaking of fat…look what I found!  At Walmart!!  This spray duck fat is greatness!

And so, I sauntered over to the butcher (a real one) and inquired if I could get a duck.  Well..I must have been one of a rare breed who actually asked for a fatty bird because he seemed very happy to help me—either that or he hadn’t seen a woman with meat on her bones in a while. After all. this Whole Foods is on Philly’s Mainline where women live in activewear unless they are attending a wedding, funeral or formal fundraiser for their child’s private school.

He led me to a refrigerated section that was loaded with ducks.  Succulent, fatty, undressed ducks that were waiting to be placed into a cart and roasted or grilled or cooked confit style.  Ducks that would be slathered with a citrusy syrup of orange and Grand Marnier or a Cherry sauce or an Asian sauce.  Duck that would put a smile on those who consumed it.

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This is better than the golden egg. This is Saturday Night Dinner!

I purchased not one, but two ducks.  Two will feed five people perfectly.

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My ducks!  I can’t wait to roast these babies!

And the breast I picked up at Wegmans?  It’s in the freezer for another time!

Cooking for my grown kids is even more fun than cooking for them when they were young.  They appreciate a fine meal these days.  We can share wine with dinner and aperitifs before.  Yes. I miss the days of Santa but these are the days when we can enjoy each other as adults.

Whatever preparations you are making for Christmas, I hope you are having a great time doing so!

True dat!  Those memories linger on.  I’m sooo sentimental that I cannot bring myself to get rid of this pretzel and photo ornament Oona made for me when she was in second grade. Look at the pretzels–they faded!  And they are broken but my memories aren’t broken!

The holidays come and go but oh..those memories linger on!

 

 

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