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Happy Mother’s Day to THAT Mom!

I’m still in pain from the mad rush of last minute Mother’s Day shoppers yesterday in the land of Retail Hell.   My once-perfect, narrow feet—now growing bunions, are screaming and barking and not happy with the swelling that comes from 8 hours on foot.

My poor feet. The only cure for this is an oversized glass of wine!

Oh. The job is part-time so that I can’t be eligible for medical insurance, but with that part-time comes a full-time day into night.

And I’m pissed because this job is taking time from my passion.  Our blog!  And I say “our” because it is ours!  It’s the family of “Atypical60” readers and friends and I am the mother.

I am that mom!

Sremack got it right! I wanted to be Mary Poppins but am more of that hot mess Miss Hannigan!

And as wrenching as yesterday was, I had a great time helping out kids who were at the store to get their moms gifts for this special day.

I imagined their mothers to be perfect.  That blonde and blue Philadelphia Mainline mom. After all, we ran out of Tory Burch and Kate Spade bags.  I also imagined these same moms dressed head to toe in Lilly Pulitzer as they attend a fancy brunch.

This is not me!

In addition, I envisioned the scene when the children give their moms the gifts. And the moms give one of those half-smiles because either one of their friends has that same bag or the moms think the gifted bags “just don’t work”.

And I am the mom who will have to take those returned bags back and it pains me to envision the faces of those children who realize that their mom doesn’t love that gift!

MY version of this is below….I’m sure my kids are thinking what I’m writing…

“M” is for the many times she embarrassed me..

“O” is for the countless times she yelled “Oh shit. Why did you do that”?

“T” is for the thousands of times she shoved her tits in our mouths when we were babies so we would stop crying.

“H” is for the hot mess she was when she had no time to get dressed to take us to school when we missed the bus.

“E” is for her loving eyes. So crossed that she pretended each one of us was the set of twins she always wanted since she saw double!

R” is for those days of “REST” that came once a month when she had her period and cramps so badly on the second day that she didn’t leave her room!

Look. I’ve never been the perfect mom. I’m the one who drove the kids to school while in my pj’s and hair rollers.

I’m the one who would show up at a PTO meeting with spilled coffee on my shirt. Once time, I actually showed up at a school function with two different colored shoes. At least they were the same kind of shoe!

But I’m that mom who always had an extra chair at the dinner table—even if it meant opening a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and throwing a plate of Little Debbie brownies for dessert on the table.

I’m that mom who “ambushed” my kids from school every now and then to take them to lunch at McDonalds.  I’m the one who let them have a “well” day off from school and sat on the sofa with them watching TV.

And I believe there are more moms who are just like me than those other perfect moms.

As awful as my retail hell day was yesterday, when I arrived home, a large box was waiting in our foyer.

Jake, Roman, and Oona sent me some beautiful flowers….

Flowers from the Little Kiddles!

But more touching were the words on the card that came with those flowers.

As much of that bad mom that I was, they still love me!

And once again, I searched YouTube for my favorite video.  A “gift” from Roman from 2007.  He and his friends shot this “Mother’s Day Rhyme”.  Every Mother’s Day, I share it with my friends and today, I want to share it with you.   Keep watching.  After about 30 seconds, he starts rapping.   And it’s great!

But the most important thing is that he made this rhyme when I was at my lowest point. It was just after my divorce and I was feeling extremely shitty about myself—so shitty, in fact, that a pity party would have been a high point!

So moms—this Mother’s Day Rhyme is for you. And your friends and every mom out there!

To all my moms out there! This is for you! Thank you Roman–this is the gift that keeps on giving!

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