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OMG!!! It’s a Crisis!!!!

UPDATE!!!  I RECEIVED A REPLY FROM URBAN DECAY. IT IS A FORMULATIC REPLY. I AM NOT HAPPY WITH IT.  IT IS PATRONIZING.  FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT–HERE IT IS:

We highly recommend using our UD Grindhouse Double Barrel Sharpener which is designed specifically for our entire pencil lineup.

Also, don’t worry, we definitely have not forgotten about our mature makeup lovers which is why our makeup is designed with such diversity from our subtle nude shades to our edgy bold shades! We absolutely love all of our UD Fans no matter their age, we want to cater to all of your make up needs!

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If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to reply to this email. That’s what we’re here for!

Sincerely,

Jaz

In response to MY  email:

General comments/questions
Message: First of all, I’m a huge UD fan. I’ve written about your products on my blog many times. My Naked Palettes are in constant use AND your 24/7 eyeliner pencil has ALWAYS been in my constant rotation. That 24/7 Velvet eye pencil is my favorite. I recently set about to purchase my 6th one and the store (Ulta) was out of stock. So I purchased the 24/7 Watermark pencil instead. WHAT HAPPENED? OMG. I had a major crisis because the pencil was a horrific item to sharpen–it wouldn’t and I literally wasted more than half a pencil trying to sharpen it. I wrote about it in my blog: https://atypical60.com/2017/05/16/omg-its-a-crisis/ Yes. I wrote about a beloved brand of mine and the less-than-stellar experience. Look–I write with humor so it is’t a mean post–I’m just so upset about what happened. And while I’m at it, you should realize that we women over 50, 60 still wear cosmetics–do not shut us out. Include us. We spend a lot of money on cosmetics!! Thank you, and I hope you come up with a better pencil to sharpen. Best, Cathe Urbanski

It is true ladies. I am in crisis mode right now. And it all started with an eye pencil!

Well, yeah!! It IS happening.  It’s a crisis!

I’m sure I’ve written about the Urban Decay 24/7 Velvet Eye Pencil.  In fact, I know that somewhere in the bowels of Atypical60’s archives, there has to be something about how great the 24/7 Velvet Eye Pencil is.  I’ve purchased this pencil multiple times. It has always served me well.

I’ve always been happy with this eyeliner!

You see, I love to tightline my eyes.  This is a process that makes the eyes look a bit livelier.  You very carefully line the eyes close to the waterline and in between the lashes.  You need a very pliable and soft pointed pencil to do this with or one false move and you’ll be walking with a seeing-eye dog.

This is a close up of tightlining. I DID go over the mess with a Q-Tip. Also, note the red spot on my nose. Wanna know what happened?  I was making a feeble attempt to stiple my foundation on just the way Jay did when I had my makeover and I stipled a bit too hard.

The Urban Decay Velvet Eye Pencil has always been my go-to.

Runner up is the inexpensive elf liner pencil. But, in my atypical fashion, I really use the elf pencil for my brows and when I’m in-between the Urban Decay, it’ll work to tightline.

Three bucks..and I use it as a brow pencil!

The elf pencil costs $3.00 The Urban Decay costs $20.

And so, last month I drove to Ulta to repurchase the UD Velvet Eye Pencil.  As is my usual bout of luck, my color, Velvet Black, was out of stock.

However, what I did spot was the brand’s 24/7 Waterline Pencil.  I figured it was probably even better than the Velvet pencil because it was made for the waterline which is great for tightlining,

I purchased the pencil in the color “Legend” which is just another name for the color black. The purchase price was the same as the other Urban Decay pencil –twenty bucks.

I should only HOPE my pencil stays this big!

The price didn’t even bother me because I’m pretty-much brand loyal when I find something I like.

The next morning, I was very excited as I used my new pencil. It did a magnificent job and my liner stayed on all day.

Understand. Since this is a very soft pencil, it must be sharpened more often than a harder pencil.

And here’s where the crisis began.  After about a week of tightlining, it was time to sharpen the tip a bit.  Caveat—when I say “sharpen” I don’t mean into a sharp point. If that were the case, I would hear Ralphie chanting to me “You’ll shoot your eye out kid old lady!”

And we have almost the same glasses! I will try to not shoot my eye out Ralphie!

It is now the last week in April since I made the purchase of the pencil.

I started to sharpen the pencil in my special eye pencil sharpener. One side is for a thinner pencil and the other for the wider pencil.

There is never an issue sharpening the elf pencil. She sharpens beautifully.

Look how nicely the elf pencil sharpens. And I’ve had this pencil for a few months now. The sharpener is over a year old!

There was ne’er an issue with my 24/7 Velvet pencils either. They sharpened beautifully on the same sharpener. In fact, I could sharpen the Velvet pencil down to the nub and use every bit of black tar-like coal to line my eyes.

This pencil was having a bit of difficulty sharpening.  It kept getting stuck as I rotated it. I cleaned the sharpener thinking that perhaps there was a bit of old pencil stuck in it.

See what a mess my hands are after sharpening the pencil? Ugh- my nails are even worse.  How did that random strand of hair get in this pic?  Oh..that’s right–I shed like a dog!

After a huge black mess on my hands and my clothing, I tried to sharpen the pencil again.  I was left with an uneven point that broke off. So back in the sharpener again. A lot of wasted product and a pencil that was growing smaller with each rotating turn.

I had no idea where the point went and I was left with a plateau and tried to make the best of it.

My plateau point!

After a few days with the plateau point, I scratched the inside of my waterline.  Time to resharpen.

You know that I do get a bit emotional at times.   Well, this pencil was now putting me into crisis mode.  I downright refused to use the elf pencil because it was the principle of the matter. I friggin’ spent twenty bucks on a pencil that was made for tightlining and the damned thing would not sharpen correctly.

So, I tried an experiment—and this is disgusting. I saved the shavings from the Urban Decay pencil and the shavings from the elf pencil.  Not only was I now the proud owner of a rather enormous collection of pencil shavings, but they were falling on the carpet and creating stains.

Yes ladies!  THIS is how my sick mind works!  I needed to see just how much of the pencil I sharpened off  so I tried an experiment.  Just call me Nigella Degrasse Tyson–I’m like a scientist!  Check out yet another random strand of falling hair!

I would venture to say my scientific ability puts me up there with Neil Degrasse Tyson! 

Bonaparte was now in crisis because the carpet in my make-up room, the room he never goes into was stained and Bonaparte Felix Unger was going ballistic with his French naughty talk-and not the delightful naughty talk either!

That twenty dollar pencil is going to cost me the price of a Stanley Steemer visit!

A month later and I’m left with half a pencil that has the most awful point in history.

 

I’m so disgusted. This is a crisis worse than spilled milk!

My crisis is bigly.   I will have to look for an eyeliner pencil that can be sharpened. Do I search in vain for the 24/7 Velvet pencil in Black? Do I look for a different brand?

This is so pathetic.  All because of a stubborn pencil that refuses to sharpen correctly!

No!!  I’m going to remedy this crisis and ask you to help me.  What eye pencils do you like?  What’s your favorite?  I need one that stays put, that glides on nicely and that sharpens well!

Can you help me?  Please?

On another note, I went beyond hitting pan earlier this evening.

When I arrive home from work, I like to relax in a soothing and hot bath. It is my “me” time and it’s better than drinking.  I save my aperitifs for the weekend.

Last year—or maybe the year before, Oona took a trip to Mackinac Island in Michigan.  ( My daughter has become a Mid-Westerner with Northeast political ideals!) I think she went to Wisconsin too. Regardless—she brought a jar of body scrub home for me. I’m a huge fan of body scrubs because they really do an excellent job of exfoliating the skin.

Anyway, I always had a jar of Bath and Body Works Orange Ginger Body Scrub on hand until they changed the thing to “Energy” and rebranded it and it became more difficult to find it in the stores.

Upon her return from Mackinac and Wisconsin, Oona gifted me with a jar of Cinnamon Clove Organic Body Polish by a brand-named Trillium.

This stuff lasted for a long, long time and was excellent.  It didn’t even smell of Cinnamon (not my favorite scent) but it smelled lightly of clove. Very relaxing and really made my crepey skin soft.  I hit to bottom of the jar tonight and am going to order a jar from the site.  It’s great stuff and you don’t need a pencil sharpener to enjoy it or reap the benefits.

I also didn’t need shaving cream for my legs with this stuff. I need a refill!!

It bothers me when a product doesn’t live up to what it should live up to.  Pencils need to be sharpened.   Why then, would a cosmetics company create a pencil that is near impossible to sharpen without wasting over half the product away?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if all our crises were as “critical” as an eyeliner pencil?  Our world would be remarkable now—wouldn’t it?

It would be even better if we could solve world issues with eyeliner pencils and sharpeners. The country who gets the most wear out of the pencil without sharpening it would be the winner.

It’s a thought!

The eyes turned out very well today. Even with the plateau tip!!

Here’s a cool song “Lazy Eye”—Hmmmm it must’ve been written about me and my lazy eye!  Silversun Pickups. Maybe it’s a song about underperforming eyeliner pencil!

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