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My Spirit Animal is Neither a Spirit Nor an Animal!

As much as I love animals, I don’t look to them to be my teacher or messenger.  Therefore, my spirit animal is not an animal.

I have a reality show star to lead my delusions in the right path and to teach me…….and my spirit animal is…………

Patricia Altschul of Bravo’s Southern Charm!

My spirit animal—Patricia Altschul. She isn’t a Patti. She’s no Patsy either. She’s PATRICIA!!  I must get that book…and those pink flamingos.  I wanted some for my lawn but Bonaparte would not allow it! 

If you’ve never watched the show (which I strongly suggest you start), it’s Bravo’s finest.  The drama is exemplary.  Old money.  Old Southern Lineage.  Men who are experiencing Peter Pan Syndrome.  The women they hang with.  Actually, the women are the hard workers on this show.

 

This is the cast of Season Six. WHERE’S PATRICIA??????  And the men pictured have zero ambition.  Complete Peter Pans.  I can’t even…but the drama is so delightfully addictive!

There’s also tons of booze on the show!

And the one character who makes it all worthwhile is producer Whitney  Sudler Smith’s (he’s the only male on the show with an actual career) mother Patricia.

Producer Whitney Sudler Smith, the only male on Southern Charm with a career, and his mom, the fabulous Patricia Altschul!

Now. You are aware that I’m my own idol—which has nothing to do with narcissistic behavior. It’s just that I found my style and my many hair looks (with the aid of my wigs) that fit me.

And might I add that there’s nothing wrong with being your own idol.  You should be the best you that you can be!  And by the time you reach my age of 64, you’ve been around long enough to know yourself!

But there’s always room for admiration! And I admire this woman.

Why do I love and admire her so much?  Well…it’s because she’s the ridiculously wealthy and very-much refined version of me.  (If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you are well-versed in my delusions!)  She speaks her mind and is a fantastic hostess and she’s a lady at all times!

My spirit animal Patricia Atchul and me.  Our similarities are just so incredibly different!  We’re practically twins!

It’s also because we’re so much alike and so different at the same time! I’m the Paupered princess to her Well-Monied princess!

I may be the Paupered Princess–but at least I’m dressed in natural organics and not polyester!

Anyway, let’s do some serious comparisons to our similar differences so that you can get a better understanding of how likely unlike each other we are–and I adore her so much. I wonder if she would feel the same way about me…hmmmmmm….

We both enjoy a good long dress at home to lounge in.  She prefers Caftans while I have a penchant for the maxi dress!

Oh my.  What an elegant at-home look!

….and I prefer the more laid back version of a Lilly Pulitzer maxi and Rondini sandals!

Both of us are moms!  And our children all have sucessful careers!!

She’s a great mom to her son, Whitney..

I like to think I’m a great mom to my sons Jake and Roman……

And my daughter, Oona!

We both love fresh flowers!

Ohhhhhh…that arrangement of flowers is truly spectacular and most likely came from a very expensive florist!

Ummmm …I paid $20 for these flowers at Wegmans and they don’t even fill the vase…

But I’ve had these Walmart Poinsettias hanging out in my kitchen nook since December!!!  I guess we are differently alike!

Patricia poses so elegantly with her dog!

How did the DailyMail photographer capture this moment?  Treats?  Or is Patricia’s Pug incredibly well-trained…

I am lucky if I get a photo of me with Chippy..and when I do, it certainly isn’t very elegant!

I tried to bribe Chippy from under the coffee table with treats…

He took the treats but wouldn’t budge.  So I had to climb under the coffee table. OUCH!  I banged my head. And the last thing I need is yet, ANOTHER head injury. People still don’t think I’ve recovered from the head injury I suffered in a bathtub fall years ago!

Finally!  A portrait with Chippy!  See..I told you Patricia and I are similarly different!

Patricia loves a good martini and she’s perfected it!

Yum Yum!  A Dry Martini is so delightfully refreshing!

Am I classy enough for a martini?

I want a proper cocktail just like Patricia!

Ewwww.  It’s too much for me.  Oh well, I won’t be embarrassing my daughter at her wedding…

Oh wait!  I’m lowbrow. I love me my Aperol Spritz’s.  I wonder if I can get Patricia to drink my favorite aperitif!

Patricia’s son, Whitney, went to boarding school far away.

My boys traveled from far  away too!  From the way, upper Upper West Side–past Washington Heights to attend school at St. Ignatius Loyola on the Upper East Side.  In NYC terms, that is as far as boarding school!

Jake’s first day of Kindergarten at St. Ignatius Loyola.  That uniform still makes me so happy.  The blazer and pants were purchased at Brooks Brothers and my sons still buy clothing at that store! 

Patricia has a Butler to serve her!

Patricia’s butler, Michael is the MAN!!! And the younger male cast members can take a cue from Michael. He is employed.  They ain’t!

I have my French husband, Bonaparte, to serve me! And he serves me well because he INSISTS on cleaning up after me because I’m blind in my right eye and can’t see the mess I’ve made.  Case in point. Check out the counter behind him.  I was baking. He was so obsessive that he cleaned it before he left for work!

My Parisien!  When he gets upset with me he speaks in French.  Doesn’t he realize that I understand every word he says??

Patricia loves a classic and tasteful LBD! And how about those gams?

Patrick McMullan==Photo – CLINT SPAULDING/ PatrickMcMullan.com====I, too love a LBD!

I got mine on sale at Banana Republic years ago. I can assure you that Ms. Patricia did NOT get her LBD at Banana Republic!

Patricia loves a great place setting!

My lottery goal is to afford the kind of China that Patricia has..

I also love fine China and a killer place setting!

My fancy China was purchased about 20 years ago at the Salvation Army Red, White, and Blue Store in Hamiton NJ.  I got 60 pieces for $20..and it’s gold-plated!

But..my usual place settings are more on the casual side!

Patricia loves her white sofas…..

Again with a dog.  WTF?  Why can’t I get a good pose with Chippy?

So do I..and I’m especially fond of the white loveseat in my sunroom!

My Ikea Ektorp Loveseat!

See?  It’s fun to have a person as a Spirit Animal!  I look at the little “Patricia Altschul” inspired items in my home and can channel her!

These Mother-of-Pearl  spears were given to me as a gift many years ago.  I like to pick up olives with them and pop them into my mouth. It makes me feel very refined.  And then if I drop an olive I usually drop the “f” bomb which is so absolutely vulgar and trashy.  I’ll bet Patricia Altschul doesn’t have the gutter-mouth that I have!

Either way.  We are both pro-aging women.  And I’m sure that Patricia Altchul is her own icon too!

Two women.  Completely different but similar.  We’re both proagers and are both over a certain age!  But…I’ll keep enjoying having Patricia Altschul as my Spirit Animal!  As long as she doesn’t sue me!

Do you have a Spirit Animal?  Is it human or an actual animal!  I’m nosey!

 

 

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