Yesterday was a big day. I was finally able to announce on Social Media that I was going to be a grandma—or glamma—or grammy.
The amount of well-wishers warmed my heart! Not to mention that this post was the best one ever!
(My personal choice being Moira but I have been nixed by the mommy-to-be)
Oh yes! I am so ready to be a grandma. My WIGS are ready to be a grandma! But the moniker Moira was nixed! But I AM championing myself!
Anyway, at this juncture, I’m so excited that I cannot contain myself. It’s the greatest thing. You see, it never really mattered much to me if I became a grandparent or not. It isn’t my choice. I’ve had my children and their decisions are to be respected. If they don’t want children who am I to voice my opinion?
The tears are happy ones! Seriously, I cannot contain myself!
I’m so full of shit! The thought of being a grandma thrills me with delight and during this dismal year of 2020, it is the best news I could receive. It’s also a possibility that a “Pandemic Baby Boom” is about to commence!
I could re-write this. Diane Keaton as Grandma in Pandemic Baby Boom!
It’s been killing me too, because I found out last month. Oona and Sam were giving me a FaceTime tour of their home that’s being built. And she stopped in the makings of a room and told me the spot was going to be a nursery. I laughed and said “someday or it can be another guest room”. And then she laid it on me and told me she was pregnant. I dropped the phone, ran around the house like Chippy when it’s meal time and jumped up and down—nearly causing a flood (like—who’s the one who needs diapers anyway?)
Seriously. I was tons more excited than this!
Needless to say, as happy as I am, this brings on other emotions.
My three children were never the favored grandchildren of my mother. It’s no secret. It’s no surprise. I still remember the time, Oona’s second feis, an Irish Dance competition, held in Long Island not too far from where one of my sisters live. My mother was visiting from Florida.
She promised Oona she would come and watch her. When I was ready to leave, my mother said that she would meet me later because my sister would drive her. It was a truthfully-challenged moment that neither Oona nor I have ever forgotten.
Nobody puts my baby in a corner. And nobody will put my grandbaby in a corner!
You do not do that to your grandchild. That wasn’t the only time. I’ll leave it at that.
But after a few similar incidents, I vowed to never do to a grandchild what my mother did to my children.
I remember the relationship I had with my grandmother and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. My grandmother was an amazing woman. An immigrant from Ireland, she worked her ass off, first as a domestic, then years later, after my grandfather lost a lung due to damages from WWI, she worked as a cleaning lady in an office in Manhattan. She worked for years.
Grandma Margaret Crowley Wynne. I was absolutely blessed and my children were blessed to have her as their great-grandma!
And when I stayed with my grandparents and my Aunt Terry during the summers, every week night evening, close to 11 O’clock, we would drive to the subway station at Woodhaven Blvd. to taker her back home.
I was so lucky to have her as my grandmother. She was such an important part of my life and I miss her!
My favorite childhood memories were those spent during the summers leaving Long Island for the comfort and pleasure of a more urban environment in Queens. My grandmother may not have been the fuzzy, huggy and kissy grandma, but she was incredibly nurturing and took wonderful care of me.
I was her “tea-and-Drake’s-pound cake” partner. And every afternoon, before she left to clean those offices, that’s how we enjoyed each other’s company. I slept in her bedroom on a cot that she dressed up comfortably for me.
More memories returned when I found this pic on the net. It’s the same exact cup and saucer set my grandmother had. Not to this day have I ever had a better cup of tea than the ones my grandma brewed!
When we went to Mass, she always had a supply of tissues for my never-ending runny nose, and when Mass was over, a Pep-O-Mint Lifesaver that she carried in her practical black purse. I loved that woman so much. And she was an incredible grandma. Ask my cousins and they will say the same!
My aspirations are to be as loving and nurturing as my grandmother was, but I’ll be fuzzier and more kissy.
This was taken on her 95th birthday. Cuppa tea in hand!
The one thing that makes me sad, though, is the distance apart. Oona and Sam and The Baby live in Cincinnati. I live in the Philadelphia suburbs.
Although I wasn’t a working mom, I’ll be a working grandma. I’ll be that grandma who won’t be there three times a week. I won’t be there once a week. I won’t be there much because this grandma-to-be has to work.
Oh wait! I think I hear Oona screaming for joy because I won’t be around to bug her!
Oona. Being so excited when she reads in print that we live far away from each other!
Doesn’t matter though—because when I do get to visit, it’ll be quality time. I can cook for Oona and Sam and make their favorite dinners and desserts!
I can shower the baby with kisses and hugs and hold her/him all day, despite what my daughter might say about putting the baby down for a nap. I’ll be the pillow. I’ll bring my nose down to enjoy that baby smell! I’ll gladly change diapers and clean that baby hiney so well then apply Desitin (do they even use Desitin anymore?) and cuddle some more.
I’ll also be the grandma who buys baby a starfish outfit and takes a video like this. I”m sorry-not-sorry but this is funny and right up my alley!
Damn. I wish I lived near Oona so I could rub her belly and look at her boobs growing as the milk comes in! I want to argue with her about how to hold the baby and how to give the baby a bath!
And—the shopping has begun.
After my mani-pedi I went to Target! Now, it is a bit daunting not knowing the gender but we’ll find that out next month. In the meantime, I purchased a couple of basics. You can’t go wrong—right?
Time to load up on basics!
Baby socks. They are sooooo cute. Although Grammy Cathe (which I think will be the chosen moniker) prefers no socks because barefoot is better, babies need to keep their feetsies warm and toasty.
Can you just picture those cute little baby feet in these cute little baby socks?
Organic Cloth Diapers. I’m guessing replacing “100 % Cotton” with “Organic” is more on trend these days. But—despite the disposable diapers being used, cloth diapers are a Godsend. They are great to throw over the shoulder so that when baby burps, the burpee juices don’t land on the good J. Crew clothing but rather than the organic diapers.
I love you already Baby. But get one thing straight. You spit up on THESE–and NOT my J. Crew clothing. Got it? Good. We’ll be besties 4evah!
Besides, when the diapers get stained and raunchy, they can be used to dust the furniture with.
Organic (WTF—it’s cotton!) Onesies—and long sleeved. Baby will be a winter one—no sense in the short-sleeved model yet—what if the heat fails?
OMG! Opinionated Grammy Cathe is on the loose. It’s COTTON! We KNOW it’s organic. Ugh. Labels!
Gender-neutral flannel blankets. Trust me, these blankets are the only gender-neutral item (besides the onesies and socks) that this grandma will be buying.
Gender neutrality. So if the baby is a girl, gray and pink are a wonderful match. If the baby is a boy, Gray and Navy will suffice just as well!
Political correctness aside, that baby can figure out what he/she wants to be as he/she gets older. For now, once I find out if that baby is a boy or a girl, it’s getting all the gender-Unneutral clothing I can find! Sorry not sorry!
Oh yeah? Well, Grammy Cathe is gonna play into gender stereotypes two hundred percent! Unless you are talking about playing chef. Then you both get the same kitchen!
Lactation cookies. I got these for Oona to try. She’s a bit hesitant to try these until the baby is born. I would try them but the pandemic weight gain has been so enormous that I can’t have any more body growth.
Oh look! The expiration date is after my baby–OOPS, I mean OONA’S baby is born! Can you believe this shit? Lactation cookies? Oops! I’m being Opinionated Grammy Cathe again!
Oh no! I forgot to get my grandpappy Gracie a gift. She can’t feel left out! I’ll pack some Milk Bones and a photo of Chippy for her!
I have a strong suspici0n that Gracie and I may be butting heads. She’s gonna think the baby is HERS, whilst I’ll believe the baby is MINE. Oh…the baby is Oona’s.
Speaking of lactation, look at all the stuff that’s being manufactured for breastfeeding moms these days!
I couldn’t believe this. I’m still shaking my head in envy because I should have thought of this. I coulda been a contenda! And made tons of money!
Geez. When I had my first child, the lactation advice from my Ob/Gyn was “Have a can of beer when you get home” “The yeast and hops will help to produce the milk”. Now there’s Lactation cookies and beverages to help produce milk!
Look at the nutrition facts for these Lactation cookies. This is garbage! Full of fat, cholesterol, sodium, carbs and sugar. Sorry not sorry but the stuff you put into your body goes into your breast milk. Have a bag of kale instead–it’ll make the baby poop nicely too!
Note to self-take this out of the box I’m sending Oona and throw it away! Send a bag of kale instead! Send a jar of yeast too. She can spoon it over the kale.
The advice from the nurse was “Put the baby to your breast. Let him get used to it. It’ll be fine”First of all, I hate beer. Secondly, the nurse was spot on.
Lactation consultant recommended.
Here’s my lactation advice: Pour water into a one-liter bottle. Take baby in your arms. Sit on comfy chair or sofa. Pull your shirt up. Put baby to your tittie. Let baby drink. While baby is drinking, you drink the water. You’ll need it. There. Free lactation advice from Opinionated Grammy Cathe.
Coffee Breastfeeding Supplement? Let’s think about new mommy for a moment here. New mommy is tired. Opinionated Grammy Cathe is cleaning the house.
Opinionated Grammy Cathe will drive to Starbucks and get a strong coffee for ….Grammy Cathe. New Mommy Oona can supplement the organic way with water while feeding my grandchild!
Have these lactation consultants ever had a baby for chrissakes?
New Mommy Oona needsa glass of WINE! What do you think the French did through all these centuries? Baby needs to learn at an early age what drinking in moderation means. Throw this in the trash.
Opinionated Grammy Cathe is going to save Oona and all new mommies $34.99. Take an old bra. Cut a hole in each nipple area. Stick the pumps through the holes. Pump away. You’re welcome!
You had me at “soothing for mom”. I do not want to visualize my daughter soothing her nipples. I’ll save you money. Buy a tube of original Chapstick and apply it to your nipples. You’re welcome!
All kidding aside, this is such an exciting time. And I’m ridiculously happy for Oona and Sam because they will make a great mommy and daddy.
As for me, it’s time to dispel the granny stereotype.
Have these women never heard of J. Crew, Lilly Pulitzer or Old Navy? Geez–even the horrific Chico’s would be better than what they are wearing!
Watch out—the new Grammy is about to arrive! Or rather Opinionated Grammy Cathe is about to arrive!
I hope that Opinionated Grammy Cathe will be the best grandma ever!