You know..I can be quite the social animal and I love being that way. I enjoy trying to make people happy—and that is because I want to make people happy. It’s just really important to me to try to make things a bit more pleasant. Plus—it’s really, really, important to have a positive outlook. I mean, look at the world around us. There’s so much hate and violence and really unkind people are becoming more famous by the minute!
I want to make the world a better place!
Like “Liberty Enlightening The World”, I want to welcome everyone and make them happy too! But–on a smaller scale. If I keep eating I’ll be wider than Lady Liberty herself!
But there are those times when I just want to take my physical being, turn myself inside out, and zip myself into my soul—I need to visit my invisible spirit so that nobody can see me.
It isn’t that I want to hide. I really don’t want to do that. Sometimes, I just want to be alone.
I’m older now, but ever since I was young, I found that the sandy beach offered such a peaceful and glorious sense of solitude any time of year. An empty beach with the view of protective dunes is a great place to reflect!
Plus, if I’m alone with me, I can listen to my thoughts. I can be the center of the little universe that belongs to me. I can shut everyone and everything out.
Sometimes Bonaparte, my kids and other loved ones just cannot figure out why I close myself off in my own little universe. Shhhhhhh–come closer and I’ll whisper in your ear..”I can’t figure it out either!!!”
It doesn’t mean I don’t love my family or those close to me. Nor does it mean I don’t value my friends.
It also doesn’t mean I need to be alone because I have to go to the bathroom for a while with a newspaper or magazine! (Ohhhh…last nights’ dinner!)
It just means I have this need to work some stuff out on my own.
Solitude can be welcoming and greet me with a gentle hug.
Solitude can warm you even under the coldest of conditions!
I can cry without anyone seeing me.
I can hurt without bothering.
I’m not bringing anyone into my personal drama.
Sometimes my spirit is hurt and needs to heal.
It isn’t a Pity Party that I’m celebrating either.
It’s just that I don’t even know the full reason as to just why I need to be alone.
I’m not lonely either. I’m surrounded by love and wonderful people.
One of the reasons I loved living in a large city was that I could blend in my aloneness.
As crowded as it can seem, being in a large city is actually wonderful for being alone. Millions of people are alone together. Blend.
I could be like vapor and evaporate into the atmosphere of the loners!
It’s true. I could be like cloudy vapor and evaporate–or at best feel like a lone hawk drifting in the skies!
So to my loved ones and family and friends I say, “Please don’t become impatient or angry with me because I’ve closed up for a while.” “Please understand that it’s harder to bring my words and thoughts into the spoken word than to write them!”
Then—after I’ve entered into emotional closet of shutting myself off, I’ll come out when I hear my father’s voice shouting down at me from that big poker game in the heavens…
“Hey”. ” Katie!” ” Whadarya??” ” Some kinda Pineapple for chrissakes?” “Jesus H. Christ get off yer ass and look out the winda” “It’s a beauty-full day”. “Get dressed and enjoy it!” “Ya crazy gallute!”
It’s true. One of my dad’s more creative terms of endearment was to call me..and my siblings “pineapple” when we just weren’t “on”! For some strange reason it worked. Try calling someone a pineapple and their faces will light up. They will smile then laugh!
And I can feel his breath..and that slight tap on my shoulder and I know that I will never fully be alone!
So today, I will end this with a fun song by a very funny Frenchman, Jacques Dutronc. The song: Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi…because it’s all about ME!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!
Oh…and, well–Thank you for letting me be a bit deep today!
