Sometimes I Just Wanna Be…………………………………………alone.

You know..I can be quite the social animal and I love being that way.  I enjoy trying to make people happy—and that is because I want to make people happy.   It’s just really important to me to try to make things a bit more pleasant. Plus—it’s really, really, important to have a positive outlook.  I mean, look at the world around us. There’s so much hate and violence and really unkind people are becoming more famous by the minute!

I want to make the world a better place!

Lady liberty

Like “Liberty Enlightening The World”, I want to welcome everyone and make them happy too!  But–on a smaller scale.  If I keep eating  I’ll be wider than Lady Liberty herself!

But there are those times when I just want to take my physical being, turn myself inside out, and zip myself into my soul—I need to visit my invisible spirit so that nobody can see me.

It isn’t that I want to hide. I really don’t want to do that.  Sometimes, I just want to be alone.

Sometimes I just want to be alone

I’m older now, but ever since I was young, I found that the sandy beach offered such a peaceful and glorious sense of solitude any time of year.  An empty beach with the view of protective dunes is a great place to reflect!

Plus, if I’m alone with me, I can listen to my thoughts.  I can be the center of the little universe that belongs to me.  I can shut everyone and everything out.

A Lone house

Sometimes Bonaparte, my kids and other loved ones just cannot figure out why I close myself off in my own little universe.  Shhhhhhh–come closer and I’ll whisper in your ear..”I can’t figure it out either!!!”

It doesn’t mean I don’t love my family or those close to me. Nor does it mean I don’t value my friends.

It also doesn’t mean I need to be alone because I have to go to the bathroom for a while with a newspaper or magazine! (Ohhhh…last nights’ dinner!)

It just means I have this need to work some stuff out on my own.

Solitude can be welcoming and greet me with a gentle hug.

Alone in the snow

Solitude can warm you even under the coldest of conditions!

I can cry without anyone seeing me.

I can hurt without bothering.

I’m not bringing anyone into my personal drama.

Sometimes my spirit is hurt and needs to heal.

It isn’t a Pity Party that I’m celebrating either.

It’s just that I don’t even know the full reason as to just why I need to be alone.

I’m not lonely either. I’m surrounded by love and wonderful people.

One of the reasons I loved living in a large city was that I could blend in my aloneness.

Alone in grand central

As crowded as it can seem, being in a large city is actually wonderful for being alone. Millions of people are alone together. Blend.

I could be like vapor and evaporate into the atmosphere of the loners!

lone bird flying

It’s true. I could be like cloudy vapor and evaporate–or at best feel like a lone hawk drifting in the skies!

So to my loved ones and family and friends I say, “Please don’t become impatient or angry with me because I’ve closed up for a while.” “Please understand that it’s harder to bring my words and thoughts into the spoken word than to write them!”

Then—after I’ve entered into emotional closet of shutting myself off, I’ll come out when I hear my father’s voice shouting down at me from that big poker game in the heavens…

“Hey”.  ” Katie!” ” Whadarya??”  ” Some kinda Pineapple for chrissakes?”  “Jesus H. Christ get off yer ass and look out the winda” “It’s a beauty-full day”. “Get dressed and enjoy it!” “Ya crazy gallute!”

Hey ya pineapple!

It’s true.  One of my dad’s more creative terms of endearment was to call me..and my siblings “pineapple” when we just weren’t “on”!  For some strange reason it worked.  Try calling someone a pineapple and their faces will light up. They will smile then laugh! 

And I can feel his breath..and that slight tap on my shoulder and I know that I will never fully be alone!

So today, I will end this with a fun song by a very funny Frenchman, Jacques Dutronc. The song:  Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi…because it’s all about ME!!!  XOXOXOXOXO!!!

Oh…and, well–Thank you for letting me be a bit deep today!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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42 Responses to Sometimes I Just Wanna Be…………………………………………alone.

  1. Vibrant says:

    See, you so wished to be locked-out of those forums

    God knows all 😛

    I understand and honor your introvrted nature mom. I am proud of you 🙂

    Still: What if you started seeing yourself in everyone?

    Anand 🙂

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Anand! OMG> NOOOOOO!! I didn’t want to be locked out…and it’s driving me so apeshit crazy that I’ve actually retreated into myself. It’s the way “different” people are. hint. hint………I feel like I’m just making things worse………time to lock myself up! XOXO!!

  2. spearfruit says:

    Being along is a good for everyone – but being with others is also a good. Good post.
    You make me happy just reading them! 🙂

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Spear. *wipes sweaty beads off forehead* I’m glad you liked that post and it made you happy to read it. Believe it or not, today’s post was extremely difficult for me to publish. The words came pretty quickly but that little publish button took some thought! XOXOXO!!!

      • spearfruit says:

        I totally understand about the feeling with the ‘publish’ button – sometimes it is a love/hate relationship. I think I am a little more into being alone than you are – I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago about it titled ‘the unsocial me’. Hope you are having a good day! 🙂

  3. I get it!!! I love and need my alone time…it’s essential for my well being!!!

  4. I agree time alone !And awesome post as well! I love the pineapple!

  5. gk says:

    Have you done the Myers Briggs test? You’re an introvert that needs alone time in order to recharge?

  6. ranu802 says:

    Your decision to use more than one image is interesting. Way to go Catherine! 🙂

  7. tlizzy says:

    Thank you for this truly amazing post. This hit home, though im not overly keen with being alone. I write better than i speak and sometimes i get my words in a muddle so blogging for me is the only way for me to release my feelings. x

    • Catherine says:

      I’m glad that this post hit home because sometimes it is just so much easier to get thoughts across in writing! I get all flustered with the spoken word at times and it’s just better to reach inside!! Nice to know other folks feel the same way! XOXOXO!!!

  8. koolitzable says:

    First blog to post the same phot prompt like mine ☺️

    • Catherine says:

      Awww. Don’t be sad. I happen to LOVE that pic because the shot is a silent and wordless explanation of why I loved living in NYC! All those people rushing around and you can still be alone! We all have a different view–I was alone and yours was love. I think that’s just so great!! XOXOXO!!!

  9. Jane Martel(totally French) Billman says:

    I understand completely – xoxo jane

  10. Oh, I love the post, and as a fellow Long Islander and former social butterfly turned full time Hobbit, I hear you! Good on you for taking such good care! And Gallute! I haven’t heard that since I was a kid. I love it! Thank you!!!!!!!

    • Catherine says:

      Oh. My. Gawd!!! Whut pawt of Lon–Guylind are ya from?????? You crazy Gallute, you! Come ‘ere! Oh I wish we were near a pizza place right now so we could sit down and go through a pile of garlic knots right now. I haven’t had a decent garlic knot since I left the Island! I’m so glad you liked the post! XOXOXO!!!

      • OMG… Thank you. I was just going to bed and you made me laugh so hard I think I have to write some more! I’m in Romagna now, but I grew up in Port Jeff Station. And spent all my summers boating with my family around New England and On Fire Island. garlic knots! That’s too funny. garlic knots I could probably make. Bagels on the other hand,….sigh. Ok. Off to dream about food all night! Sleep well!

      • Catherine says:

        Nighty night! I’m a South Shore girl. Brightwaters! I, too, spent many summer days over at Fire Island too! Oh…I dream about food 24/7. I wish the weather would change for the cooler so I could bake! XOXOXO!!!

  11. Leslie Preston says:

    Good post! Heck, I need tons of alone time to recharge to be around the masses. Truly! I get so worn out by people. I’m a total introvert….nothing wrong with that….

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Leslie! Alone time is always great. Growing up in a larger family, I treasured those times when I could go to my room, close the door and read or listen to music with nobody around! I think we all need our time to reflect and just chill! XOXOXO!!!

  12. estherconejo says:

    I, too, need my down time, so I’m glad there are others that can relate.

  13. calensariel says:

    But there are those times when I just want to take my physical being, turn myself inside out, and zip myself into my soul—I need visit my invisible spirit so that nobody can see me.

    I TOTALLY get that. I’m familiar with that feeling. That’s a beautiful way to put it, btw. For me the trigger is usually fatigue or outright exhaustion. When I’m feeling that way sometimes I just can’t handle life and I MUST go “away” or everyone around me is miserable. I don’t like turning into a crabby witch. When I’m feeling that way I’m afraid I’m going to hurt someone by saying something snarky or something. Safer to “retreat” and think through things for awhile. This was a great, honest post.

    • Catherine says:

      Cheryl, I am so glad that you totally get that line. It’s exactly how I feel. It’s so true. I don’t want to be that crabby witch either nor do I want to be the drama queen or the pity’s just easier to retreat into ourselves!!! I’m really happy you could relate! XOXOXOXO

  14. Jean says:

    Alone time is essential to my well being too. Family time is essential. Social activity is essential. A balance. I need it.

  15. When I was younger I hated being alone. Over the years I have not only welcomed being alone but crave it. I have never lived alone and have always been surrounded by people. I think as we get older we just appreciate a little solitude.

  16. L Nelson says:

    The older I get, the more time I need to recharge on my own, away from technology. It refreshes my mind and body.

  17. maidsdayoff says:

    I savor my alone time too sometimes. I think being alone without being lonely is a very healthy thing. There are a lot of people who can’t stand to be alone with their own thoughts. I often wonder if they lack self-acceptance and simply don’t like themselves very much.

    “But there are those times when I just want to take my physical being, turn myself inside out, and zip myself into my soul—I need to visit my invisible spirit so that nobody can see me.”

    I loved this line!

    • Catherine says:

      You know, I just cannot figure out why people don’t want to be alone sometimes. It IS a healthy thing..I’m incredibly glad you loved the line about wanting to turn myself inside out….It’s true. I feel like that a lot and just want to hide. Thanks so much for getting that. XOXOXOXO!!!

  18. izabolinha says:

    I am never alone 😉 I have me for company and I really like it! 🙂
    But on a more serious note I understand you totally as I frequently need time away from others (or I become “bitchy” ) 😉

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