Blogging School Dunce

Shhhhhh…..quiet.  Ok. Listen.  I have something to say.

I have fallen deeper into the abyss of Blogging School Duncedom and I need to revisit.

Why do I have to have goals and gain a larger percentage of  readers? Am I a dunceable failure because I don’t? I thought this stuff took time?

Maybe I just wasn’t honest with myself when I started my blog.

I was just a teensy, weensy bit delusional.

Let’s revisit. Again.

I lost my job and I needed something to occupy my mind.  I always loved to write and was good at it.  Mind you, I’ve always been good. Not great. I can get a simple thought across in an uncomplicated way.  I don’t like using a lot of SAT words because it isn’t my nature. I like to tell it like it is—but with humor.

It was my “vison” (or since I’m cross-eyed, shall I say double vision?) to have a blog geared toward the “over 55 crowd”.  You know, fashion talk for women who are older but like to dress nicely and sometimes a bit on the more youthful side?

I thought it would be fun to have recipes scattered throughout.

Yes. I made this easy summer vegetable dish. Now that the cooler weather is back, I’ll be able to add more recipes!

I also thought it would be cool to talk about cosmetics and makeup….

One of my favorite things to talk about. BTW,  the MUFE HD foundation just doesn’t seem to be working for me anymore. I’ll have to write about that!

….and address the mother of all “ism’s”.  Ageism.

Oh, I will NEVER stop writing about THIS ism!  Mick Jagger and Ray Davies haven’t gotten back to me about my Age-Aid concert yet. I’ll keep trying!

But—as I started to write, and continued to write, I discovered the focus to be more on my life as an unemployed, anxiety-ridden, American-living-with-a-Frenchman, mother of three grown children and a rescue dog, “stuck in the suburbs because NYC, the home that I had for so long is no longer affordable to middle-class people” woman with absolutely no purpose in life. Let’s get that pity party rollin’ my friends!

WAIT!  Then I realized that I DO have a purpose in life!

Like Steve Martin, I, too, have a special purpose in life! I just didn’t realize it!

And that purpose is to write about shit that people may think about, but don’t necessarily talk about.  Um…like lady baldness and lady whiskers.  Or….people who like to “hide” behind their religious ideologies.  Or….bringing back memories of loved ones who left us.  Or…failures as well as successes.  Or….how being that slightly unkempt person who just isn’t perfect is a perfectly fine way to be!

I’m the one who will be completely honest and tell you. I haven’t taken a bath or shaved my legs or pits for four days. I stink.  No. Literally. I stink. I smell.  And that’s ok because I know there are others who do the same thing—but won’t admit it.  Instead, you can read my blog and admit it to yourself. Nobody else needs to know!

I have no issues showing you what my messy fridge looks like before I clean it out. I’ll even show you the mold on the three-month old strawberries.  Why? Because that happens to the best of us. We’ll place something in the way back of the fridge, we’ll forget about it and months later, we’ll realize what we did or didn’t do.  And it’s ok!

I’ll write about my travels in France—but not in a pretentious “I’m-ajet-setter-and-you’re-not-and-I-know-everything-about-the-French-and-you-do-not”  I try to write about my experiences just basically having a great time and realizing that I am fortunate enough to have these experiences that I just want to share.

I see things just slightly different than most travelers!

Although I’m no expert on film and music, I still like to write about my thoughts on what music and films I like and love.  It’s all subjective.

Basically—I write about nothing and everything!  I’m comfortable with that. It’s the way I roll!

Granted—I had delusions that someone famous would see my blog and recommend my little blog to all their friends.  My delusions then took me to a place where I had millions of Twitter and Instagram followers (Ugh. I friggin’ despise the word “followers”—can’t it just be changed to “friends”?).

Whenever I see or hear the word “followers” I am reminded of Follow the Leader from Disney’s Peter Pan!

I had visions of me guesting on the Today Show—but only with Kathy Lee and Hoda! We would drink wine and talk shoes and go on and on about meaningless trivial matters! It would be awesome.

Hey ladies. Don’t forget to make a drink for ME! Kathy, can I borrow your earrings?

My visions also took me to the Jen Lancaster universe.

I thought I could be the next Jen Lancaster!

That universe of someone who writes a blog—then becomes “discovered”, then builds a crazy-ass fan base. Then writes books—but about herself.

I’ve read all of these–and more! I”ve even left some of her books behind at the apartment in France so others could discover her. I’m SUCH a giver! Her fiction isn’t as good as the books about her though!

OMG. I could be like Jen Lancaster and write best-selling books about my favorite subject.  ME!!!!!!

I could write about little me…

And (skinny) mommy me….and

….old me who seems to be gaining weight at Superman’s quicker speed of light. 

And time marched on.  And I didn’t gain any famous “followers’ friends.  I didn’t get a call from Kathy Lee or Hoda.

My blog’s Facebook page goes virtually unnoticed.   I’m not popular like Jen Lancaster.

I’m not the blogger eating lunch with the popular blogging queens or kings.

I don’t have 23,000 “followers” or rather “friends” thank you!

Instead, I’ve become a realist.

I’m writing my blog for myself but I’m also writing to those friends of mine who stop by regularly to read about what I have to say for that particular day!

Yes, I sometimes scratch my head in wonder about just how the fu….Oops—I wonder just how does anyone acquire thousands upon thousands of readers or followers !

Then I pause and smile just a bit wider!

My eyes can’t get any more crossed but my smile keeps getting wider and wider because I love my blog and I love my friends who read and enjoy my blog!

I love my little blog!  I love writing about absolutely nothing and yet everything!

I love that fact that there are a little over 500 readers in my little club!  As long as my reading friends are happy and enjoy what I write about—that is what matters most!

It is far more important to stay true to myself and who I am.

My goals are simple– just keep writing and writing and blogging and blogging.

I’m like the Little Engine That Could. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…WRITE!!!!!

And I have no expectations.  Never expect and never be disappointed!

My habits will remain the same.  I write in our home office.  I write listening to music or nothing at all.

With that, I give hugs and kisses to my friends who read my blog and like it and continue to read! You make me happy. You have given me purpose!

You really Like me.

I feel so….so… Sally Field!

Yes, Sally, I really like you.  I liked your Gidget wardrobe much more, but I still like you! I like your glasses too. Can I borrow them?

I’m also quite happy that I haven’t been sued…………….Yet!

And with that, I will try to continue to write at least three posts a week—but it’ll probably be more because I have so much to say about so little!

I will also try to do more posts by my alter ego “The Paupered Princess”©. She knows a good bargain and knows how to live well on the cheap—after all, she is without a job!

Well, I really should get dressed.  Bonaparte is becoming more and more concerned about my not wanting to leave the house.   But my reasons are so shallow that it’s shameful.

I don’t want to leave the house because I may become tempted.  My temptation comes not from Satan, but it comes from the King of Prussia Mall and Home Goods and TJ Maxx. It’s because I’m a giver!  I’m such a giver that I don’t want to give any of these stores Bonaparte’s money!

Enjoy the Monday!  I think I will go out after all. There is zero humidity and my hair needs to take advantage of this glorious good hair day!

XOXOXOXO

Speaking of music, I’m posting “The Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats.  I heard it the other day and cannot get it out of my mind. Plus—the weird guy who sings the song is cute!