It started with a cuppa tea. While I was preparing dinner last night, I wanted to ward off snacking so I put the kettle on. Now, I realize that not everyone takes milk in their tea. I do. And when I went to the fridge to take out the small amount of milk that was in the carton, I noticed the expiration date was three weeks ago.
Who woulda thunk that a cuppa tea was the inspiration for a blog post–not about tea!! Like my grandmother and mother before me, I keep the kettle on the stove at all times. It is never put away. I think my daughter Oona does the same thing!
That didn’t stop me. But the disagreeable odor that emanated as I opened the bottle did.
Then I realized I had a carton of Almond Milk in the fridge. Back I went. And I checked the expiration date. With an expiration date of June 24, 2017, it came to me that Almond Milk is now my best friend. This carton will be here waiting for me when I get back from France in July! OK?
Almond Milk sure has a long shelf life! I’m lovin’ this more by the expiration date!
I checked the yeast in the fridge. I bake a lot of bread. The last tthingI need is for the bread I bake for Bonaparte to fall flat. It is a Frenchmen’s crime and I could, quite possibly, be jailed like Marie Antoinette. Thank God, the guillotine is no longer used!
I’m safe with the bread baking for now too. Besides, there isn’t much left. I bake a lot of bread!
Then another thought popped into my head. My cosmetics. I knew there were charts somewhere out in cyberland to warn me when to trash my makeup.
Thank you Makeup.com–but I’m very naughty and pay no attention to this chart!
Here’s the thing. I have a lot of makeup. There is the makeup that I use on a regular basis. Those items will never expire.
A sampling of the cosmetics hanging in a jewelry holder over a closet door. I’ll bet half of this stuff is expired!
Then there’s the stuff that I hardly wear. There is also the stuff I purchased that was a mistake—but since I spent money, I refuse to trash the stuff. Then there’s all the backup makeup I have. The stuff I have forgotten about.
Two of my favorite palettes. The top is Urban Decay’s Naked 2. The bottom is Stila’s In The Know. If I was in the know about the fact Stila discontinued this palette I would have purchased a second to use past the expiration date. Both palettes are expired. It isn’t stopping me from using them. Look how much I hit pan on both of these!
I’m sure that all the cosmetics and skin care products that I have stashed away expired a long time ago. And I’m holding on to them.
This inexpensive bronzer, Ticket to Brazil by Wet n Wild, is the best powdered bronzer of all time. It expired in September. So did my unopened backup. I don’t care. I’m still gonna use it!
How can bacteria get into a package that literally takes a knife, a scissor and a ton of elbow grease and some very naughty language meant for the cosmetics companies that package this stuff?
This is the packaging from the elf Lemonade Pink blush stick that is now discontinued. I purchased it over a year ago. It is also expired. Doesn’t matter because I couldn’t even get the packaging opened with a nuclear weapon!
Better yet, how ironic is it that my cosmetics expire and the Easter candy is on display the day after Valentine’s Day. And I can bet the candy companies recycle that shit on a regular basis without nary a thought of an expiration date!
Candy Conspiracy: I’ll bet the candy companies collect all the unsold holiday chocolate, melt it down and recycle it for the next holiday! Their way of getting around the expiration dates!
Am I right or what?
Mascara usually lasts me three weeks per tube because I love thick, clumpy lashes. Yes! I said it. I love when mascara clumps. It makes my eyelashes look lush. I pack that glop on my lashes like spackle. And when I near the end of a tube, I spit into it to keep the product moist. Hey. It’s my spit and I’m pretty much germ-free!
The back of one of the MANY tubes of Maybelline The Falsies mascara that are unopened. This one could go unopened until 2020!
Eyeliner—I’ve had some liquids for over a year. I’ve had some that were so awful I’ve thrown them out after three applications. And that hurts because I hate wasting money. Luckily, I buy inexpensive eyeliner. And trust me, some of the eyeliners I’ve had to trash were over ten bucks!
Eye pencils. The one eye pencil I cannot live without is the Urban Decay 24/7. I would say perhaps I purchase two a year—around every six months.
Blush. I hold onto this for years. Although I do have an elf stick that has expired. No big deal to me. It was discontinued. The blush stick is ensconced in the original packaging. Therefore, in my world, there is no expiration date!
To the left is the Lemonade Pink blush stick that is long expired. In the middle is the Stila blush that I purchased over two years ago. It expired six months after I purchased it. Wait! What if I purchased that same blush today? See–the expiration dates don’t mean anything!
My next epiphany clicked when I reviewed what I wore this past week. My clothes have no expiration date. Really. They don’t. If something isn’t in style, I’ll wear it anyway. I stick to the plain and simple.
Here’s what I wore this week tha, style-wise, didn’t expire.
On Monday I wore a linen blend skirt with a simple white shell, a denim jacket and ballet flats. None of which have gone out of style or expired!
Plaid shirts never expire–neither does a basic black pencil skirt or pointy-toed black heels!
Wednesday had me wearing a striped skirt from Old Navy that is years old. YEARS old! In a rare fashion moment, Bonaparte modeled his striped socks for my stripes theme!
Stripes continued on Thursday. Although I will admit. Lilly Pulitzer did expire the wonderful Travel Pants I wore. I guess the Preppy Princesses couldn’t deal with the fact Lilly Pulitzer actually had a black item within the bright colors. That’s fabric racist! Well, I won’t expire these great pants! Alas, my refill of Fleur d’Oranger DID expire and turned into pure alcohol. Can’t win ’em all. At least I had a backup that wasn’t expired!
Friday was jeans, ballet flats and a Lobster sweater from J. Crew Factory. Critter clothing never expires!
Yesterday was a blend of old and new–the flattering striped shirt I wrote about the other day, a new ruffled blazer from J. Crew, jeans and Converse sneakers. Converse sneakers will NEVER expire!
OK –I’m sticking this in here for good measure. I went to J. Crew Factory yesterday to return a pair of shorts that I was on the fence about. I saw this dress on a hanger and thought “Meh”–but I tried it on anyway. I LOVE IT and bought it. Why? It reminds me of the old-school house dresses that my mother wore in the 1960’s. Yes. Sentimental value NEVER expires! This dress is comfortable AF and brings back nice memories!
Hold on. This is for the menz! I got Bonaparte to pose in his new jeans. His first pair of jeans from J. Crew Factory and the fit is incredible–that nice slim European fit. Jeans have no expiration date!
Last of all, the dress I’m wearing today! This is about five years old, I think. Banana Republic. I’ve worn this through heavier years and leaner years. Look at the difference between now and last summer!
I had to exhibit some serious tummy sucking-in last year. Thankfully the dress has some stretch. But the dress hasn’t expired!
What say you? ( I know. That expression drives many people crazy–but it is an expression
that hasn’t expired!) Do you throw your cosmetics out after the expiration date? What about your food items? And lastly—do your clothes expire?
In honor of Phase One of the French elections, I’m playing a song with, in my opinion, has no expiration date. Jacques Dutronc “Mini, Mini, Mini”
