It’s true. Miss France-y pants here has had a meltdown over such a ridiculous task. Packing. As you know, I wrote a post about the start of my packing chore. Everything was all nicey-nicely organized—to a point.
That’s right! C’est Moi, Ms. France-y Pants had a meltdown!
Then things got weird. At work, I’ve got a bunch of new responsibilities, which I love having. However, when in the learning process things can become frustrating—especially if you are like me and are a perfectionist at work tasks. I do not like to make mistakes. Errors are time-consuming and they are not efficient. In my own little world, there is no room for error. *NOTE—this is at work only. IRL, I am One. Giant. Error!
More like what a week!! Why do I get so anxious about everything right before a vacation?
And given the fact that it has been a busy week, I just started throwing clothing in a pile until I had no idea what I was throwing in that pile.
The piles just getting higher and higher
The funny thing is, I know I will overpack. Again.
And then I think of those whose blogs I read and how great and organized they are at packing and I feel so inept.
But then I think of where I’m going—and it is strictly casual. And that makes me happy. But then I think of the casual clothes that I have and which ones should I bring and what about my cosmetics and skin care and other shit stuff that absolutely needs to come with me or I won’t be able to survive.
So, I had a bit of a meltdown.
I kind of just went blank.
I should have done more packing last night. Instead, I decided to play with my hair—and by that, I mean the hair that I recently purchased!
This is what I did last night. I played with my hair. Bonaparte has asked me to pack the hair in the bottom left-hand picture. He said it is a nice look for going out to dinner!
I should have taken care of all this stuff early this morning. Instead, I went over to my Poinsettias that have been around since November and started worrying about them and wondered if they will miss me. I told them that I love them and want them to hang around for next Christmas. This is not normal behavior.
Hello my little red and green babies! I want you to stick around for next Christmas! I need to pack now…..sort of!
Procrastinating further, I decided to run some errands this morning rather than concentrating on finishing the packing.
I went to the mall to make an appointment to get spray tanned. (click the link for last year’s version!) I can’t go to the Cote d’Azur looking so pasty white. What if a golden-tanned fisherman mistakes me for a baby white whale? He’ll harpoon me!! I need to blend in with the locals. Wednesday evening after work I will be transformed from parchment paper skin into a glorious fake tan!
I can’t wait to get back here! Bonjour Nice!
And will ya look at what movie Air France will be showing!!! Demain Tout Commence! The film directed by Bonaparte’s cousin! Part of my procrastinating was perusing the Air France in-flight entertainment choices!
After I made the tan appointment, I figured that since I was already at the mall, I would stop off at Old Navy. Oh, happy sale day! Dresses for ten bucks! And forty percent off shorts. 
Wow! I just about flipped my wig over this great deal. Ten bucks for this dress–and the scarf was $4.49. A cute outfit for less than fifteen dollars!
I was feeling very procrastination productive and next stop was Barnes and Noble. Clinton Kelly, who just happens to be one of my make believe best friends, wrote a book that came out in paperback. It’ll make for great pool and beach reading. Not to stop there, I also made the purchase of the straw “Bonjour” market tote. It’s so cheesy and kitschy. I had to have it. Besides, it’ll be fun to roam around Marché Forville with my fun tote!
Nothing says “Tourist” more than a straw bag with the word “Bonjour” displayed across the front. After almost ten years of hanging out on the French Riviera, I feel the pretentious entitlement of saying that I can get away with this!
Oh Clinton. Thank you for hating everyone except me! I can’t wait to get to the pool, sit under my parasol and start reading this epic piece of American literature!!
I arrived back home a bit after noon—closer to 1 PM. And Bonaparte gently reminded me that he put Chippy into doggie daycare today so that I could finish packing in peace. Talk about a hint!
Yes. A “certain someone” reminded me that I really, REALLY, needed to start focusing on packing the suitcases. The delusion of only bringing a carry on was just that–a delusion!
I didn’t know what to tackle first!
So, I went up to the little guest room that houses my wigs and makeup and more clothing and I went to work.
Here’s how it rolled.
While I realize it’ll be hot as balls in the South of France, I’ve decided to pack these jeans. They will serve as my weight scale. They are a size 6 and fit nicely. I can put them on every morning and if they still fit, then I know that no weight was gained!
This went back into the closet. I’m bringing the Primark dress instead.
Bonaparte brought my filthy pink suitcase up from the garage. Oh. I LOVE my dirty pink suitcase because the filthier it gets, the less someone will want to take it!
Wow! A treasure chest of toiletries was in that dirty suitcase!! I did not realize how much stuff I already had!
Here’s the Other ten dollar dress I purchased at Old Navy. It’s not my “color” but I really don’t care–it’ll travel wrinkle-free and I can wear it over my bathing suit…
Speaking of bathing suits. Booyah! Don’t ever tell me I’m too old at 62 to wear a bikini. Yeah. I have flabby bits and I’m not “buff” who cares! That’s what I love about the French beaches. Women of all ages can wear what they want and nobody gets judgy!
My other Target Special. As long as the thighed burns are shaved, it’s all good and I can jump into the sea! I beach for comfort and a two piece gives me the comfort I need! THIS IS 62 PEOPLE!! THIS IS 62–WE CAN WEAR BATHING SUITS LIKE THIS IF WE WANT! Damn. My wig is getting wonky from all the clothing changes!
I took out the white shorts I originally packed and replaced them with this pair from Old Navy. Notice anything? In the first picture, I have my tee on backward. I fixed it as you can see in the photo on the right!
The boyfriend denim shorts from Old Navy were 40% off. These are coming with me. I swear to you, I’ll end up in the bathing suits, shorts, and the Primark dress the entire time I’m in France.
I can wear these white jeans out for a casual dinner. I’ll wear it with the blue checked Gingham shirt.
THE Gingham shirt. I sewed the missing button on and it is now packed!
And among other items that were packed was my daily hair, reading material, and my journal!
I’m hoping four books are enough. I read A LOT on vacation. It’s the way I relax at the pool and unwind before sleeping!
My new phone is properly accessorized with a case, a shatter-resistant screen, and the plug thingy.
I don’t know why I’m bringing half of this stuff. But at this point, I’m too tired to go over the clothing again. What I do know is one of the reasons I love visiting the Cote d’Azur is because it is incredibly casual. I’m not even bringing heels. I’m living in sandals, converse sneakers, and more sandals. I’m bringing one dress to go out to dinner only because Bonaparte likes dressing when we dine out.
All my stuff for a bit over two weeks is now housed. And I REFUSE to revisit this!
There is nobody to impress and I don’t have to be fashionable—just simple and beach bummy.
I have my hair. And my makeup. And my sense of humor.
Time for a beauty mask!
And a dinner al fresco with some bangin’ hair!
I’m ready!
And the piles are gone. I just need to vacuum..
And the daybed is back to normal and ready for Chippy to sit and gaze out the window!
Are you like me? Do you melt down before going away for any length of time or vacation? I really want to know!!!
Here’s a very soothing tune to bring you to that calming place of going away! “Le Chant des Sirenes” Frero Delavega.
