No, silly. Not that kind of whip. I’m not that kind of gal!
Getcha mind outta the gutta! I’m not that kind of girl!
I got a new car! And one of my younger co-workers is teaching me slang words so that I’ll be hip! And whip is just another word for car.
My new whip! I’ll tell you all about it!!!
I’m the cool mom!
I AM that cool mom–and what she’s doing is the reason my grown children do NOT attend sports events with me! I’m hip! And I got moves!!!!
Anyway, the lease on my RAV4 is up next month. And my husband, in his pragmatic way, paid the lease off beforehand! Now—I’m sure many of you know that I do not place cars in high esteem. (Read my post from a couple of years ago–It’s a CAR Monsieur Bonaparte! ) They are simply a means to get from Point A to Point B. If I had my druthers and the cash to go along with those druthers, I would be living back in Manhattan in a very expensive apartment and would gladly be at the mercy of the NYC public transportation.
A roll of these is the only set of wheels I need. Unfortunately, subway tokens have been replaced with Metrocards!
But I lack both cash and druthers so a whip it is!
Let’s get back to the car that I traded in. Shall we? There was some damage to the right side of the car. I did not think it was bad but apparently it was bad. I was sideswiped by a moving truck on the Schuylkill Parkway coming back from Philly. It was a hit and run and I couldn’t get the license number of the mutha who hit me.
I didn’t think it was that bad–but apparently it was.
When I got out of the car I did notice scratching on the front fender and later noticed more scratching on the right side of the car. I’m also legally blind in my right eye and all my auto mishaps have happened on the right passenger side. Bonaparte had a fit when this happened and I very bluntly assured him that I, his wife, was unharmed!
To tell you the truth, I was more concerned about the mess…
…INSIDE the car….
…that would have to be cleaned out!!!
He was more upset about the cost of the repairs since the car would be traded in.
This is just another reason that I hate cars.
And as time grew of the essence and became closer to that time when I was supposed to start thinking about what kind of car I wanted I grew more and more agitated.
No! Not L8R. NOW!! It’s time to get a car now!
Here’s the great thing about a husband who is a car fanatic. He offered to look at cars for me! And my reaction was simply “Be. My. Guest.” My loving Frenchman actually spent an entire day going to car dealers and left a deposit on a car—a Honda HRV.
This was the one that I ALMOST got! But didn’t!
He explained that the car was for his wife but I had extreme anxiety over shopping for cars and didn’t like the process. God only knows what else he told the car salesman because Bonaparte came home two Saturdays ago with the Honda for me to test drive. They let him drive it home to me to test!
I’ll guarantee that my husband talked me up so that the car salesman thought…..
Be that as it may, I was rather annoyed that my Saturday of doing absolutely nothing but lounging like the princess that I am, was interrupted by having to take a test drive!
After a drive around the block and an adjustment of the seat Bonaparte asked me what I thought.
It kind of went like this:
B: “Cassee.” “Whah dew ou sink of zis cahr?”
Me: “It’s fine”.
B: “Ahr or com-feur-du-boul?”
Me: “It’s fine”
B: “Do not forget mee” “An ‘some-tie-mez I drive zuh cahr”
Me: “It’s fine”
B :“I put deposit on zuh cahr”
Me: “That’s fine”
Later on we were talking about “zuh cahr” and I found out there was no CD player.
B: “I forgot to tell ou—zhayr eez no Cay-Day play-air in zuh cahr”
Me: “Get the deposit back—I’m not driving any car that doesn’t have a Cay-Day player!”
No CD Player??? NO DEAL!!!!!!
And so, my Frenchman went back to the Honda dealer, got the deposit back and went back to Mohammed, the Toyota salesman that we’ve been getting cars from for the past ten years.
There was much negotiation. And the two men butting heads.
And in the end, I got my new car last night. She’s a cutie but I want to touch base on just what is very important to me in a car:
My new Whip! She’s real pretty! My little RAV4
- Stellar A/C. I love having the cool, crisp air hitting me in the face after my car has been sitting in a sunny parking lot or spot for a good part of the day. It’s very important—specially to keep my makeup from melting off.
- CD player. Yes! I realize that CD’s are soon going to be a thing of the past and that many automobile makers aren’t making them anymore. But what about all of us who have spent quite a bit of money over the years and have amassed quite the collection of music we love—on CD’s! They are tangible. I enjoy the process of searching through my CD’s and sliding it into the player and leaving it in there for perhaps a week or two because I’m too lazy to eject it!
- Bluetooth hath spoiled me. I love it because I can talk on the phone without holding it. That means I can pay more attention to the road. I’m serious about this. Idiots driving with one hand because they are too busy holding their damned phones in the other don’t signal, they drive slower and they are just plain rude. Bluetooth makes me a conscientious driver!
- Is it good on gas? This is extremely important to me. It pains me to spend money to fill up my car. Gas is expensive. I would rather spend the money on wigs.
And she’s got some extra too:
Little “blind spot” mirrors on the side view mirrors. Oona was hoping that my new car would have those because she thinks I’m a bad driver..
This “Beepy Thingy” that lights up if I drift over from my lane. THIS is great for when there is road construction and those temporary barriers are set in place. I have no depth perception and I’ve sometimes banged into them. This will keep my safe!
Pretty hub caps. I’m deeply shallow!
..And the CD player is there! It’s all good! And it’s so clean!
And look! I didn’t even throw my shoes anywhere in the car. I placed them in my tote bag! I don’t know how long the clean part will last but I’ll try!
And that is it. I don’t care about luxury cars nor do I car about fancy status symbol names in cars. It doesn’t phase me. But I do have to say that I’m very fortunate to have a husband who is so in tune with my disgust of automobiles that he did the dirty work for me. All I had to do was show up at the dealer and sign the papers. He’s a good man!
I’m also parking my car far, far away from the office and the other cars in the parking lot. Besides, walking from and to the car is the only excercise I get these days anyway!
My first new car selfie!!!!
So—what do you look for in a car? Do you feel like I do—that they are overpriced pieces of machinery? Do tell!
In the meantime–enjoy one of my favorite songs by The Cars–Drive!
