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My House Stinks–But It Looks Festive!!!!

Oh God.  I’m sitting here at my bespoke office—the dining room table and I have a headache from the stench.  It’s awful. And it’s a good thing that Bonaparte is at work because he would get all “French” on me with the complaining. I can hear it now:

“Merde!”  “Cassee–whut eez zhat smell?”  “Eeet smells est alle pipi pipi!!”  “Wut deed ou dooooooo?”

 Yeah. My resonse to Bonaparte will be “WTF?. I deed nuss-sing!”

As if the stink is my fault—even though it kind of is.

This morning while getting ready, I decided to use a sample foundation that I received at the bareMinerals store at the mall.  A tiny sample, it be, and when I was finished, I threw the empty little container in the trash.

Chippy happened to be with me while I threw this sample in the little trash bin.

And as I was getting my boots on, I saw my little devil scurry past me and run downstairs.  This is his “I’ve-got-something-in-my-mouth-to-eat” run. After my boots were on, I ran downstairs, practically bare-assed because I hadn’t put my skirt on yet!

And there it was, in the tiniest pieces.  The remnants of the tiny sample of foundation. And some of the remaining foundation on the carpeting (just another reason why carpeting is the bane of my existence).   I had to think fast—because if Bonaparte saw that little spot on the carpet, Chippy would never be blamed for it.  I would.

And to make matters worse, Chippy jumped upon the sofa, unfolded the throw blankets and had the nerve to make a bed. Look at the guilt on his face!!

I ran to the closet and grabbed the first thing I could find.  In this case, it happened to be Nature’s Miracle.  This is a cleaner for carpeting—OK?   Only I didn’t see the small writing.  It wasn’t the cleaner—it was the housebreaking product.  It has some sort of ingredient, Attractant Pheromone scent that is supposed to help dogs to become housebroken quicker. And I didn’t even know we had it until today—Chippy came to us completely housebroken.

And here I thought Nature’s Miracle made only cleaning products.  Read the label.  This stuff IS long lasting. I can still smell it and it is now 4:03 in the afternoon!

And so, thinking this was a carpet cleaning product, I sprayed, sprayed and sprayed some more.  But while I was spraying I thought that perhaps the product had gone bad because it reeked of…well, almost of dog piss!!  I ended up cleaning the carpet with something else and then spraying with my lavender chamomile spray that I use for laundry.

Let me tell you something. This stuff works great on making laundry smell nice.  Not so for carpeting!

 

Four hours later I have a headache and the stench is embedded in my brain.

Yup!!! That’s how I’m feeling at the moment! Let’s hope the smell disipates by tomorrow!

Anyway, now that things are getting a bit organized at the chateau, I spent yesterday getting an early start on the Christmas decorating.  It’s weird because I’ve never attempted to do this before Thanksgiving.  But given the events of the past year—with all the mass gun murders and a major wacko presidentay, the need to have a cozy and festive home was tugging at my heartstrings.

And so, I went downstairs, got most of the decorations out and went to town.

I dressed the banisters!  The theme this year is PLAID!!!

My Christmas/Holiday décor is always kept simple.  I love the shabby chic and casual elegance but never overdo it.  It’s the little touches that bring the look together.

This guy was a gift when I was pregnant with Jake–34 years ago!  I tied a festive ribbon around him and made a bow!  

It’s in the deets!  

This hanging Longaberger basket must be almost 20 years old. It was thrown into the garage. Until yesterday when Bonaparte hung it for me.  I literally threw garland that broke off of a larger piece and little faux berries in it.  Looks cute–right?

Same thing on top of the cupboard!  Old garland and fake berries!

I added a pillow to the loveseat in the sunroom.  The two pillows at the end were already there..

Same thing in the living room. I added a few pillows to the sofas.  The red pillows? They were already there but with different covers.  Red pillow covers were purchased last year at Ikea for less than five bucks apiece!  

And the other sofa with the revamped seat cushions.  Take a good look because normally the sofa is covered in a throw and Chippy thinks this sofa is his personal space and bed!

Pillows and a throw were also added to the downstairs family room sofa. (Ignore the pile of laundry in the lower, far right corner. I do my ironing here.  

The red throw was $4.99 at Ikea last year.  The green pillow, $4.00 at Primark!

One can never have too many Christmas pillows–or white sofas!

This is my favorite pillow. It’s so old-school Santa. And he sits upon a club chair!!

This platter is a festive reminder for when the kids are here to make sure any food in the family room is placed on it!!

The downstairs guest room gets a pillow and a burgundy throw.  Very basic!

And by the way, I did some holiday décor shopping on a very low budget.  Michaels craft store was having great sales and I was able to load up on ribbon.  I also got two baskets for a total of five bucks!

Two baskets totaling $5.00 from Michaels!  I filled the top one with odds and ends of garland and tied a bow around some fake stuff I found in the garage! It made a corner of the kitchen a bit cozy!

A couple of items were found at the local Goodwill store for $1.97 each (OMG, as I write this, that smell is making me ill—Bonaparte is going to have a major fit when he comes home tonight.  What story can I make up?)

This $1.97 little vase/catch all is perfect for holding holly berries!!

Not gonna lie to you.  I went to the Dollar Tree store today to see if I could find greens for the deck.  No such luck.  What I did find was a plastic deviled egg tray.  Honestly, I have a huge ceramic deviled egg tray, but we will be hosting 10 dinner guests for Christmas.  The kids always request my deviled eggs and they are the greatest appetizer because they are so easy to make. But man, if I can just get away with serving them on a plastic tray, it’ll be one less item to stuff into the dishwasher.

I know!  I know!  I feel like the devil for serving deviled eggs on this plastic $1.00 platter, but I can toss it in the trash instead of the dishwasher.  Makes my life a bit easier!

I also purchased four red ceramic bowls—they’ll be great to use as little nut bowls and candy bowls to be scattered around but out of Chippy’s reach!

On second thought, I’m going back to buy more of these. They’ll make great gumbo bowls!

Add to the purchase a leopard scarf for a buck.  The length is a joke, but I can wear it as a fun collar!

My elegant leopard print dolla collla!  It’s too short in length to wear as a proper scarf–but for a buck–it’ll hide my turkey neck!! 

A bag of bubble gum as a diet aid was purchased too.  I’m back on track with the weight.  I’m tracking everything I eat.  I’ll be returning to weekly weight loss posts after the Holidays though. My goal for the next month and a half is to maintain my present weight!

Bubble Gum. The perfect diet aid. Although I prefer Bazooka, Double Bubble will suffice!

Look what I found at Walmart!

I’ve amassed quite a number of ornaments over the years but these were so cute and red that I couldn’t help it.  Check out the rooster ornament. I’ve named him “Bernard Le Coq” after the French actor!

Battery powered lights!  WHO KNEW???  I certainly didn’t!  This makes life so much easier!   Bonaparte will have to return to Walmart to buy more of these great little nuggets of happiness!

Look how nice–and they are timed!  They go off after 6 hours!!!!

Please note that the only other decorative items needed for Christmas are the tree, some poinsettias and more of those battery-operated lights.  I went through the table linens today and they are in the laundry to be washed and ironed.

With all the “house” stuff out of the way, it’ll be much easier to concentrate on the important things like the food and the baking!

Remember—you don’t need a ton of money to make the house festive for the holidays.  You can find inspiration anywhere!

From Jake’s MTV days!  This hat has become traditional attire for me during the Holiday season!

I’ve been dressing up a bit the past few days.  Thankfully, my clothes from last winter still fit so I’m ahead of the game at this point.

Yesterday’s look–Black J. Crew Pixie Pants,  Repettos, a red Schoolboy Blazer and the Brompton bag that Oona gave me a few Christmas’s back.  My “hair” is Shasha by Sensationnel Empress!

Today’s look. And one of my favorite looks ever.  Tan faux suede skirt from J. Crew, J. Crew tissue turtleneck and a scarf, also from J. Crew from years and years ago.  Black tights and black faux suede over-the-knee boots from Unisa complete the look.  My hair today is Kimmie from Freetress!

Here’s a very unique Holiday song.  It’s on one of the Christmas compilation CD’s that I have. I believe the CD is “A Jazzy Christmas”. I’m too lazy to go outside to the car. Anyway, the song is “Blue Xmas” by Miles Davis.  It’s so out there that it’s great. The video is a bit out there too!  Let me know your thoughts on this song—I would love to know what you think! Honestly.  This is such a beatnik song that I love it!

 

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