For the past few days, I’ve been hoping that the US Post Office would deliver a small check that I am waiting to receive from my little part-time job.
I am also, in my delusions, hoping that Post Office will deliver a birthday card from the very few people out in the real world who do NOT find me annoying. Checks and birthday cards are so much better than bills.
And other mail.
Three days ago I received, in the mail, a summons for Jury Duty.
I’m thinking maybe this was a birthday gift from the County of Montgomery….
This was truly a W.T.F. moment. Where do I begin this rant?
But it wasn’t. It was a fun letter to invite me to Jury Duty and to further invite me to complete an online questionnaire! It’s akin to online dating. They want to know ALL about me!
I have been unemployed since December 31, 2014. With the exception of one hell of an “American Horror Story” mistake of a job that lasted 2 weeks, I also had a temp job for 7 weeks. That’s a grand total of 9 weeks employment during the course of 16 months of complete unemployment.
Yeah. And we all know what a “Treasure” the American Horror Story of a job was…..
Why is it that during the idle 16 months of my unemployment, the County of Montgomery in the State of Pennsylvania couldn’t summon me to Jury Duty while I sat on my fat ass with nowhere to go except to the grocery store, the hair stylist, the nail salon, my bed, and to the toilet?
Why is it that within two weeks of finally becoming employed—and part-time employment no less–making minimum wages, if I am not meeting my commission, that Montgomery County decides to pick me of all people to be a possible Juror at the paltry rate of $9.00 a day for the first three days and $25.00 a day thereafter? Why is this?
I have so much in common with Sebastian! He is so spot on!
One would think that our local government would, perhaps, have a database of unemployed persons throughout the State of Pennsylvania or throughout the local Counties of the State. The application process to receive unemployment benefits is an arduous one and it would be only logical if the local government chose from the listing of persons receiving unemployment benefits (for the short time they do) to serve as jurors in a Court of Law.
Am I right? What the hell do the unemployed do anyway? Where are we going? We have no money to take off on little pleasurable day trips because most of us are depressed that we are in this state of unemployment! We are so depressed and disillusioned that we can’t even get out of our pajamas or bathe! Being a juror would give us something to do and something to look forward to and a sense of purpose!
Yes. I swear this system is completely screwed up! Why can the unemployed be called to Jury Duty. It would be like a pretend job that pays below minimum wages. Let’s build some self-esteem among the unemployed–shall we?? God knows, they need to feel good!
Better yet, that nine bucks a day would feel like a million bucks after the 26 weeks of unemployment benefits runs out!
Trust me. When unemployment benefits cease after 26 weeks, nine bucks seems like a million!
So now, I have to go let my manager know that next month I have to report for Jury Duty and hopefully won’t get chosen to sit in that rectangular jury box while some poor slob goes on trial for a miniscule petty crime.
Oh yeah. I’m gonna be REAL judgy in my efforts to be non-judgmental
But—I have made an effort to get out of this.
I could not use THIS excuse to get out of Jury Duty. So instead…..
I went online to complete my special “juror questionnaire”. In this questionnaire, it is asked if you have any members of law enforcement in your family and if having so will affect your ability to judge fairly.
Yes. My dad was a NYC cop. I have cousins who are policemen. I have uncles that were policemen. My brother is an MP.
And I answered that I would, in fact, be affected in judgement.
I also added in the “remarks” section the following:
“I would not be a good juror because after being unemployed for an extended period of time, I have suffered from tremendous stress and anxiety. My emotional state of mind is “fragile” and “I am not right in the head”. I cannot give a statement from a physician be”……
I was unable to complete my “remarks” because I ran out of the allotted amount of characters. I wanted to continue to write….”cause I don’t have medical insurance and cannot afford to go to a physician to give me happy pills because I need to save my money for the fine I will be charged for NOT having medical insurance”
It wasn’t until a few hours later when I thought that I just should have written …“I just started a part-time job. Why didn’t you summon me when I was unemployed and idle?”
I’m hoping the County powers that be take mercy on me and dismiss me from reporting for Jury Duty. Just as the many HR people have dismissed me after interviews for positions I was qualified for but never got because of my age.
Unfortunately, there is no ageism in Jury selection!
This is the kind of judge that I want to party with!
Have a great, great weekend!!! Here’s an appropriate song for the day! “I Fought The Law…..”