Turkey Necks and Parking Lot Signs!

Happy Tuesday!  It’s a mild day today and very damp. My hair is exceptionally big today—and it’s the second day after my roller set. I’m feeling very “Deneuve/Barbarella/Adele” . Very mid 1960’s!Me Big hair black and white

Do I know how to work that ’60’s vibe or what??????

I’m also feeling very lazy! I should be working on perfecting my resume and continuing my job search, but I’m just so tired of completing all those online applications. Those online applications are a pain in my neck. Speaking of which, I got a quick glance of my own neck today. Ouch!

Wow. Super Turkey Neck

I opened my scarf so you could see my neck. I’m doing this for you because I love you!

I have a serious case of “Turkey Neck”. It’s so gross!  You know………bangs are the budget-minded woman’s Botox, and those new “lip plumping” glosses are great for making your mouth look a bit younger and plump.   Sunglasses can hide not only lines and crow’s feet, but can also disguise a case of tired eyes or “hangover” eyes. Lots of hand cream and gloves can hide aging hands—but that neck… Owwweeeee!!! If I stretch my neck out and stand or sit at attention, perfectly straight till my upper body is straining, my neck looks a tad more youthful. That’s too much work. Besides, this neck is a part of who I am now. So I dress my neck up! During the winter months I love my turtlenecks. But I especially love my scarves!

Plaid ScarvesTurkey neck covered.

These days, I’m on a big comfy plaid scarf kick. Plaid is one of my favorite colors. Seriously. Any plaid will do. I suppose wearing uniforms to school for so many years has something to do with my plaid fetish. These blanket scarves are just so toasty and flattering!

I also have my collection of colorful and lighter scarves for the warmer weather.   Hey. Don’t judge—besides hiding the old wrinkly neck, the lighter scarves are great for soaking up menopausal sweat that can turn a great hair day into a horror! They are also extremely chic and can warm you up a bit if the a/c is making the summer air too frigid! This is how we age lookin’ mighty fine!!

Darker ScarvesSummer ScarvesMy colorful scarves!!!

In my delusional world, I am able to check myself into the best hospital in the world and hire the best plastic surgeon in the world to perform a “neck lift” on me.   Why stop there? I would also have an eye-lift, a tummy tuck, I would have fat sucked from my cottage-cheese, jiggly thighs and it transferred to my boobs because the fat would be natural filler. No silicone for me! Wait! I’m not done yet—I’m on a delusional roll. Since I’m a natural kinda gal, I would have a face lift. ….maybe a touch of rhinoplasty to get rid of that little bump on my nose. And –what the heck—I want a movie star smile so I’ll have veneers on my teeth please!

In my real world the scarves and turtlenecks work just fine so I am a happy camper!

The world of supermarket parking lots is a different story. Have you ever noticed the new “entitlement” spaces?   I’m not talking “Handicapped” parking spots. This “Customer with Child Parking” sign is what I’m talking about! Customer with Child Parking

Are you kidding me??? Why not make these children walk a bit farther into the very store that sells processed and junk food that many of their parents will purchase! I remember the days when I lived in Manhattan and carried a stroller up on down the stairs to the subway, with a child hanging on each arm! Walking across Central Park from the Upper West Side to the East side was a form of pleasurable exercise and kept both my children and me in top physical form! Listen—I’m not meaning to sound self-righteous here, but I just don’t get it. Other than handicapped spaces, there’s no reason for other kinds of specialized spaces. Why aren’t special parking spots set aside for people over 65 years old—where’s the love for the senior citizens? Why not have special parking spaces for menopausal women, or younger women who have cramps due to their periods? How about special spaces reserved for customer with pets? Crazy—right??? * Steps off soapbox gingerly so as not to ruin the overpriced Tory Burch boots she wears even though she got them at Nordstrom’s 1/2 price boot sale two years ago*

Ohhhh….I was listening to this in the car today!! Here’s some Supertramp to make you feel a bit uplifted.  This is one of my favorite songs of all time. I love the melody and the words–and the song is just magical, gives me goose bumps every time I hear it!

Enjoy your day!


About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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4 Responses to Turkey Necks and Parking Lot Signs!

  1. Love all those murfee scarves in the picture!

  2. Dorothy says:

    I would like a menopause parking spot, close to the door because I am to hot to wear a coat, fans and soft lighting would be nice too.

    • Catherine says:

      Right??? It’s so pathetic, menopause has caused me to drive in the coldest of winter weather without a coat to the point I don’t even have a decent winter coat. Wegman’s really needs to get on the program and start producing those “reserved for menopausal women” parking spaces!

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