Monday morning, the snowflakes are floating down from the white sky. We’re supposed to have a doozy of a snowstorm, but those little flakes don’t seem threatening right now. I’m hoping for a much lighter snowfall because tomorrow I have an appointment to get my hair colored and trimmed. I’m also hoping to someday find a job that is well-suited to my *cough* *ahem* talents, whatever they may be. In the meantime, I comply with the unemployment laws in my state to apply for employment. My resume is a hot commodity, or at least in spite of the gap in my career path, I think it is . The gap of 20-odd years on my resume? Oh…those are my years as a “Stay at Home Mom”. Quite possibly the best, most fun, hardest, and rewarding job I’ve ever had! It didn’t pay a cent either! During those years I was a taxi driver, chauffeur, chef, baker, moderator, seamstress, PTO queen, events coordinator, tutor, laundress, snack bar volunteer, baseball mom, basketball mom, Irish dance mom, fashion coordinator, maid, doctor and nurse, shrink, dog walker, house painter, landscaper, decorator, life coach and disciplinarian among other job titles not mentioned. I’ve been told that adding these tasks and positions to a resume and cover letter is a no-no! But you know what? Every single one of those tasks kept my skills finely tuned. I’m sad. I decided to research ageism and articles about ageism in employment. Age Discrimination Article by Liz Ryan The above-linked article is one of the better articles, but the many writings on this topic basically say the same thing. Age discrimination IS out there. I started writing a mental invitation list for my pity party because my delusions started tapping into my dark side and warned me:
- If you don’t find a job you will lose your home
- If you don’t find a job, you will end up living on the streets, with all your belongings in a shopping cart ten shopping carts
- You won’t be able to cover your bald spots anymore and you won’t be able to get your moustache waxed, and you won’t have good lighting to tweeze your chin hairs and the hair you have will become icky and white and you will look like a “Sir”! *See link: January 22 Blog Post
- You will have to use a public bathroom. For EVERYTHING!!!
These thoughts were put to rest when I channeled the bright and sunny side of my delusions. I realized there ARE careers for me at this age, but I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Unless…I …. …can go back into finance. Years ago I worked on Wall Street. It was the best job I ever had. I was a secretary to the VP of Operations at the now defunct Morgan Guaranty Trust Company. Perhaps there’s a CEO out there who doesn’t want to depend on his computer and wants to hire me to be his assistant! Or…I can be a journalist for a fashion magazine. Maybe in New York or Paris. After all, how many women out there can say THEY own a genuine Courréges ensemble like the one pictured on the right? Alright—so it’s a hand-me-down from Bonaparte’s aunt, Daniele Delorme. But it’s the real deal, and if I interview wearing this, Anna Wintour is SURE to hire me! Rest assured my love for books can get me a job at a hipster book store. You know the small, intimate sort of book store where people come in to drink coffee, go outside to smoke Gitanes, discuss the meaning of life and read Marcel Pagnol — then go to the grocery store and read “The National Inquirer”? I can fit that bill! ….and when all else fails, my delusions have me thinking I can always become an Irish Dance teacher or I can audition for Riverdance. My thighs may jiggle, but years of watching Oona in competition have me thinking that perhaps I can perform a mean jig. Or hornpipe. I mean, I have the equipment—an Irish dance mom NEVER gets rid of her dancer’s shoes or wig! Besides, it’s great exercise and, by golly, my gut could use some toning up. Hey. Michael Flatley–you reading this? Back to reality—I WILL continue to do what makes me happy. Write. I have my journals from my life and my travels, I have my wits, and I have my sense of humor. I also have a great support system in the form of my kids and Monsieur Bonaparte….and my Chippy. Life is great and every day brings a new challenge and adventure. It’s a rollercoaster ride for sure but its fun! Don’t you agree? PS–8th day “Roller Set”. Don’t judge. I’m getting my hair colored, trimmed, and blown out tomorrow. Adam is well-aware of my fondness of dirty hair!
In honor of all the job seekers out there–here’s a great song from “The Vogues”. Do you remember “Five O’clock World”? Here ya go:
Enjoy this Monday. If you become snowed in–have some hot chocolate and read a good book. Relax and have fun! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!