When Life Gives You Lemons–Make Lemon Curd! Oh. And Make Rillettes Too!

Yeah, well. Yesterday wasn’t the best day for me. I read something that I shouldn’t have, knowing full-well that it would “trigger” me into a funk. Like a demented voyeur, I read it anyway…then read another article on the same subject.  Articles about people over 50 AND OLDER *raises hand* basically being unemployable. I’m screwed!

Here’s one of the more promising articles:

CNN Over 50 unemployables

So I read them and one thing lead to another. My thoughts ran amuk!

I’ll never get a job. After unemployment runs out I won’t be able to afford Obamacare and I’ll get fined and I won’t be able to pay the fine then my excellent credit rating will falter. I won’t be able to afford to get my hair colored or my lip waxed. Bonaparte will say “Ewwww—Ziz Frenchman mus’ fin anozzahr woman ou eezz nut so ug-leeeee” Then I’ll be kicked to the curb and my only home will be the shopping cart from nearby Target—but at least it’ll be my favorite color—red!

red cart

Look–its naturally air conditioned with all those little holes!

Then I’ll catch a cold—only it won’t be just a cold. It’ll be TB or some weird condition and I’ll die all alone and in front of a shoe store or beauty salon. But at least I’ll have my ID on me and a little card with the words”…in case of emergency call….”—and It’ll be one of my kids’ numbers. In one of my pockets will also be a note that reads:

Do me a favor. I don’t want to put anyone out financially and I want to be cremated. But—businesses have this need to overcharge people—even at their death—I mean, are you AWARE of how much it costs to cremate a stiff? So here’s what you do. Take my body to a wooded area—a really heavily wooded area. Dig a hole. Put my body in the hole and burn it. No. Not the hole, burn my “body” that is in the hole.  Then take the ashes,  put them in a mason jar, cover the lid and drive into NYC and go downtown and throw the ashes in the East River. It’ll cost you nothing except the toll, but I have my EZ-Pass in my cart so it’s all good!

If that grosses you out, watch “The Jinx”—after you see what Robert Durst has done, you’ll definitely be able to dig that hole in the woods and light a match!

Love and kisses,

Mommy

Sick. Isn’t it? This is the stuff that goes on in my mind. Thanks to Weight Watchers, I couldn’t even give myself a proper Pity Party.

pity-party

I’m goin’, I’m goin’!!

Trust me—I very much wanted to have one! My Pity Party delight of choice is Nutella, Hershey’s Syrup, Peanut Butter, Redi Whip, Walnuts and a sprinkling of Sea Salt. All layered together in a large mug and eaten wolfed down.

Don’t judge! This is the best concoction for those times when feeling sorry for yourself! Topped with salt–sometimes a bit of caramel. Ummm Ummm good!

Unfortunately the points value is off the charts.   Getting drunk isn’t even an option because I pass out after two drinks. Due to a lack of medical insurance, I no longer am able to snag happy pills.

I feel like a cow that’s been put out to pasture!

My Cows

These are my bovine girlfriends. Save me a spot girls. We can talk!

In other words—I had to put my big-girl panties on and deal…..

And what better way to deal than with Lemons!!!!

Lemons

Lemon Curd–absolute happiness in a jar!  Also–preserved lemon, lemon tarts, lemon bars, lemon cookies, lemon meringue pie, lemon on fish, lemon in iced tea. It isn’t just lemonade!

You know that I’m in the process of preparing for dinner guests this coming Saturday—right? Well, I had quite a few egg yolks left over from the Nougatine recipe so I decided to buy lemons and make Lemon Curd! (My lemon supply was running low).

Lemon Curd. Based on Martha Stewarts lemon curd

Delightful to eat, delightful to look at and a delight to make!

Four ingredients-Lemon, sugar, egg yolk and butter. All make a heavenly spread that is just a jar of pure happiness! A schmear on a plain rice cake and it feels like a decadent 18-point dessert (not really, but I’m delusional. Others who count points will “get” it!). It’s great on warm toast with a cuppa tea; use it as a tart or lemon bar filling—Lemon curd is just so versatile and delicious. It’s really inexpensive to make. I’ve seen curd in specialty shops and am both annoyed and astounded at how expensive and pricey it can be. Here’s Martha Stewart’s easy-peasy recipe!

http://www.marthastewart.com/348239/lemon-curd

When life gives you lemons make lemon curd

In the jar and into the fridge!

After having my spirits lifted by the scent and taste of lemons, Bonaparte and I took a ride to Home Depot. This winter has really been murder on the few house plants we’ve had for a while, but they’ve met their demise. We picked up this palm for less than ten dollars. We’ll be returning today to buy another one. I love the way greenery makes the house look so nice and fresh!

Our new palm plant. I'm very aware of Easter you know!

A great and completely inexpensive way to decorate!

With the “Mob Wives” season ended, I started preparing some appetizers for Saturday. I made Salmon Rillettes. Here’s the recipe I used:

Eric Ripert Salmon Rillette

Eric Ripert—have you ever seen his show “Avec Eric” It’s great! He’s also such a cute Frenchman—and his restaurant in NYC , Le Bernardin, is considered to be one of the best seafood places in the world!key_art_avec_eric

I used to watch this on PBS. It’s a very good cooking show and he’s so cute!

No. I haven’t been there—and at this rate I won’t be dining there for a long, long time! I figured his salmon rillettes must be off –the-chart greatness. Note* I added dill!

Avec Eric Salmon rilettes I added dill

My Salmon Rillettes!  They turned out great!

Not wanting to stop at salmon, I also made Chicken Rillettes. This  recipe from Epicurious:

Epicurious Chicken Rilettes Recipe

My changes were no celery, carrots or onion when I braised the chicken. I unpeeled and smashed a few garlic cloves, chopped rosemary and added Herbs de Provence. A generous pour of melted duck fat sealed these rillettes until we open them up to enjoy!

chicken rilettes waiting for the covering of duck fat

Waiting to be topped with Duck fat, sealed and in the fridge till time to enjoy!

What exactly are rillettes, you ask? Kinda like a super-rustic pate. It’s basically shredded meat cooked in fat and stored in fat. And it is so tasty and decadent spread over a crusty slice of baguette and some cornichon on the side. (I will have to adjust my points this weekend so that I may be able to squeeze some rillettes into my diet—I’ll be better off with the Salmon rillettes!).

642368-pork-rillettes

Rillettes with sliced baguette, mustard, and cornichon.

My evening in the kitchen produced quite a mess—and the messes that I create always leave Bonaparte a bit—well—a bit uneasy. Although I’m a great cleaner, if it makes him happy, at the end of the day, I will gladly let Monsieur B. take over!

Sometimes a day can start off in a bad way, but by keeping busy and occupied really helps to turn the day into a great one! Lemons can help too!

Lemons—they come from the Lemon Tree! Here’s Trini Lopez with “Lemon Tree”! Remember this one?

XOXOXOXOX!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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One Response to When Life Gives You Lemons–Make Lemon Curd! Oh. And Make Rillettes Too!

  1. Paula Fowler aka Gail Simon says:

    Catherine, I just peed my pants! No joke. I’m catching up on your blog and you really are the BOMB!

    Like

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