Yes. It is one of those days in which my clumsiness outshines every single wonderful quality that embodies the essence of who I am! A regular “Accident Prone Joan”!
This meme by BleuKettu on Deviant Art basically describes my clumsy. I’ve got scars on my face from falls. I have unknown bruises from bumping into stuff and it just goes on and on…….
Where the past couple of days have been beautifully crisp and cool, today’s weather is humid, unseasonably sticky, hazy and partly cloudy. It never ceases to amaze me. Whenever I go to have my hair blown out, the weather is either like today or rainy.
I realize that I have “winter” hair. My hair looks far better in the winter than in the hazy, warm, and sticky of the summer and fall. Today I went for my regular blow out.
Anyway, in keeping with the warmth of this late September (who says there is no such thing as global warming? Take a look at my hair and you will see just what the effects of global warming are!!), I wore my white jeans.
Upon arriving at the salon, I parked my car. When I got out of my car, the door hit my leg. It didn’t feel like much, and when I looked down at my white jeans, I spotted a smudge. This isn’t unusual for me because 99 percent of the time, I cannot make it through a day without messing some part of my wardrobe.
When I got back into my car after that stellar blow dry, I noticed the smudge on my leg grew. Upon closer inspection, I saw that my leg was bleeding. The freakin’ white jeans were now splattered with blood and there was nothing I could do about it.
It grew as the morning went on. This would not have happened if I was wearing dark jeans!
So I took a little detour to Old Navy before heading home.
I picked up a few items to try on and found a dressing room.
See how the bloody spot grew on my WHITE jeans? It doesn’t matter that the Weejuns I wore haven’t been polished in over five years..but that spot was just festering!
My clumsiness followed me. My bracelet got caught in a hanger. It took me about two minutes to get the bracelet undone.
I could not even begin to explain how THIS happened. But I do know that it was not easy to undo my bracelets from this cheap plastic hanger.
I decided to change up my hoop earrings today and wear my favorite statement earrings from J. Crew. I lost the back of one of the earrings on the floor. The floor is so speckled that I couldn’t spot the earring back. I even “swished” and glided my feet across the dressing room hoping I would be able to feel it. No such luck.
See these pretty earrings? Well, I almost lost one of them in the dressing room. God forbid I actually find the back of the earring on this floor. The back fell–then mysteriously disappeared. It must have rolled into the land of lost socks from the nearest laundry room!
My leg has a little gash. It is hard for me to come to terms that a little gash like this could ruin a pair of jeans.
This little gash, bled THAT much through my jeans. Ouch. My legs need moisturizer–and lots of it!
I didn’t let my clumsiness stop me from trying on clothing. I loved this plaid shirt. What’s with me and plaid anyway? It must be because the Pope is visiting and I’m channeling my Catholic school uniforms. But yeah, I’m that girl with the tucked-in shirt that just happened to untuck itself. That’s why I’m big on the half-tuck look. It is befitting any clumsy woman.
Do we see a pattern here with the plaid and the half tuck? I feel like Marlo Thomas with my “That Girl” coif! Well–I AM that girl, but I’m the clumsy version!
It didn’t stop there. I ended up getting a plaid scarf for eight bucks. As I slid my debit card through that little swipe apparatus, I disconnected it from the stand it was sitting upon.
Cute. Right? Although my madness for plaidness is getting a bit crazy!
As I made an attempt to set the swipe machine back, my purse got caught on it. I will only say this. When the sales assistant finished the transaction, she was incredibly sincere in telling me to have a great afternoon. She felt my clumsy.
It should have dawned on my last night that today would be that kind of day. As I fluffed my pillows, my finger hit the headboard and my nail broke. Really?? Who the hell breaks a nail trying to fluff pillows? I do.
I think Bonaparte was more upset about my broken nail than I was. He LOVES when my hands are perfectly manicured. I need to file this nail down before it breaks again!
Happy Friday and welcome to my clumsy!
I’m just gonna Wang Chung my clumsy away! I’m gonna Wang Chung Tonight. Are you?