Welcome To My Clumsy

Yes. It is one of those days in which my clumsiness outshines every single wonderful quality that embodies the essence of who I am! A regular “Accident Prone Joan”!

scar mem by Bleukettu on Deviant Art

This meme by BleuKettu on Deviant Art basically describes my clumsy. I’ve got scars on my face from falls. I have unknown bruises from bumping into stuff and it just goes on and on…….

Where the past couple of days have been beautifully crisp and cool, today’s weather is humid, unseasonably sticky, hazy and partly cloudy.   It never ceases to amaze me.  Whenever I go to have my hair blown out, the weather is either like today or rainy.

I realize that I have “winter” hair. My hair looks far better in the winter than in the hazy, warm, and sticky of the summer and fall.   Today I went for my regular blow out.

Anyway, in keeping with the warmth of this late September (who says there is no such thing as global warming? Take a look at my hair and you will see just what the effects of global warming are!!), I wore my white jeans.

Upon arriving at the salon, I parked my car.  When I got out of my car, the door hit my leg. It didn’t feel like much, and when I looked down at my white jeans, I spotted a smudge.  This isn’t unusual for me because 99 percent of the time, I cannot make it through a day without messing some part of my wardrobe.

When I got back into my car after that stellar blow dry, I noticed the smudge on my leg grew. Upon closer inspection, I saw that my leg was bleeding.  The freakin’ white jeans were now splattered with blood and there was nothing I could do about it.

It bled more as the morning went on

It grew as the morning went on.  This would not have happened if I was wearing dark jeans!

So I took a little detour to Old Navy before heading home.

I picked up a few items to try on and found a dressing room.

Does it bother me that my Weejuns haven't been polished in ten years. But the blood stain is festering.

See how the bloody spot grew on my WHITE jeans?  It doesn’t matter that the Weejuns I wore haven’t been polished in over five years..but that spot was just festering!

My clumsiness followed me.    My bracelet got caught in a hanger. It took me about two minutes to get the bracelet undone.

bracelet in hangar

I could not even begin to explain how THIS happened. But I do know that it was not easy to undo my bracelets from this cheap plastic hanger.

I decided to change up my hoop earrings today and wear my favorite statement earrings from J. Crew.  I lost the back of one of the earrings on the floor.  The floor is so speckled that I couldn’t spot the earring back.  I even “swished” and glided my feet across the dressing room hoping I would be able to feel it. No such luck.

See these pretty earrings?  Well, I almost lost one of them in the dressing room. God forbid I actually find the back of the earring on this floor.  The back fell–then mysteriously disappeared. It must have rolled into the land of lost socks from the nearest laundry room!

My leg has a little gash. It is hard for me to come to terms that a little gash like this could ruin a pair of jeans.

This gash caused the ruin of my jeans

This little gash, bled THAT much through my jeans. Ouch. My legs need moisturizer–and lots of it!

I didn’t let my clumsiness stop me from trying on clothing.  I loved this plaid shirt. What’s with me and plaid anyway? It must be because the Pope is visiting and I’m channeling my Catholic school uniforms.  But yeah, I’m that girl with the tucked-in shirt that just happened to untuck itself. That’s why I’m big on the half-tuck look. It is befitting any clumsy woman.

Half tuck is my new fashion statement. Hey. I AM that girl. My hair looks just like Marlo Thomas.

Do we see a pattern here with the plaid and the half tuck? I feel like Marlo Thomas with my “That Girl” coif!  Well–I AM that girl, but I’m the clumsy version!

It didn’t stop there.  I ended up getting a plaid scarf for eight bucks. As I slid my debit card through that little swipe apparatus, I disconnected it from the stand it was sitting upon.

More plaid.

Cute. Right?  Although my madness for plaidness is getting a bit crazy!

As I made an attempt to set the swipe machine back, my purse got caught on it.  I will only say this.  When the sales assistant finished the transaction, she was incredibly sincere in telling me to have a great afternoon.  She felt my clumsy.

It should have dawned on my last night that today would be that kind of day.  As I fluffed my pillows, my finger hit the headboard and my nail broke.  Really??  Who the hell breaks a nail trying to fluff pillows?   I do.

Broken Nail

I think Bonaparte was more upset about my broken nail than I was. He LOVES when my hands are perfectly manicured.  I need to file this nail down before it breaks again!

Happy Friday and welcome to my clumsy!

I’m just gonna Wang Chung my clumsy away! I’m gonna Wang Chung Tonight. Are you?

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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39 Responses to Welcome To My Clumsy

  1. Love you GF!! I’m up for Wang Chungin’ after I finish Le Freakin’!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Becky B says:

    I know buy white jeans as they don’t even last 3mins with me!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Inspite of all the clumsiness, I love that last picture, your hair is WOW!! And I love the outfit! *thumbs up*
    XOXOXO

    Liked by 2 people

  4. FireBonnet says:

    Hilarious post!!!! Clumsy piled on clumsy… still giggling. I hope to catch up with your posts in October after the class! lol Nice to meet you. (and love the plaid for you)

    Like

  5. spearfruit says:

    Hi clumsy, nice to meet you. I am uncoordinated, its so nice to meet you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Susan G says:

    Bless your heart! I can definitely relate to your clumsy. Although you may not think so, you’ve really brightened my day, knowing I’m not the only Clumsy out there!

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Jane Billman says:

    I thought spillage, spots were my unique issue and the reason most of my wardrobe is black . However I did get a very cute PLAID dress!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Jane. OMG. Bonaparte and I had drinks out on the deck earlier this evening. My sweatshirt was clean and he thought it was brand spankin’ new. I explained that it was from last year, but I never wore it near food. He gave me 10 minutes. It’s dirty! XOXOXO!! Where did you get the plaid dress? XOXOXO!!

      Like

      • Jane Billman says:

        Love it…. Torrid it is red and blue plaid loose and floaty !!! I admit i also picked up 3 short sleeved plaid shirts at Old Navy … I work from home and travel from time to time so I can put together a lot of outfits. In fact I am sitting in a hotel in Chicago as I have to work a Wellness Fair tomorrow fun times! Love reading your blogs at the airport!

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Debra says:

    Pour hydrogen peroxide on the stain until it is almost gone. Scrub a little, and viola!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Gina Blue says:

    Sure glad I stopped by for a visit! The crazy thing is…nooo one could make up all that sequential stuff that happens to you…soooo it has to be true! and you are right…It’s all good!!

    https://minick1943.wordpress.com/2015/09/25/writing-101-day-15-cue-from-my-readers/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Gina..it IS all good. And…about two hours ago, I had another clumsy issue. I took a sweatshirt off of a shelf. Under the sweatshirt was a plastic case which houses my earrings. When I took the sweatshirt off the shelf, the earring case went flying. Earrings and earring backs went flying all over……………tomorrow will be a less clumsy day! XOXOXO!!! This lioness will sleep tonight!

      Like

  10. koolitzable says:

    I have scar in my nose bridge, I hope I described it correctly 😄

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Vibrant says:

    Mom!!

    You present gross stuff and I am always shocked, though I have seen many horror flicks. When we know it’s real it becomes kind of unbearable. I hope all your scars get healed by the divine touch and blessings from Pope, Jesus and God.

    Love and light ❤

    Anand 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Arpita says:

    I hope your wound is alright now! I am somewhat a clumsy queen myself, glad to know am not the only one! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. BunKaryudo says:

    I was so nervous all the way through that post wondering if you were accidentally going to fall of your chair or make the computer explode before the end of it. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh, I feel for you and totally get you! As athletic as I am, I am constantly injured with something. I was shaking my head when I saw your photo of your bracelet stuff in the hanger. Nice to know I’m not alone in clumsy land. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. angela ambrose says:

    I love this and I can so relate to being clumsy !

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ironically my post was about my clumsiness too!

    Like

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