You know how some years are better than other years? Well, despite a bit of greatness for 2015, this year just wasn’t my favorite year.
But first—the greatness!
Honestly, I cannot complain about this Christmas. It was great! The kids were all here and we ate, and had fun and enjoyed each other
Greatness is having the kids all here! Bonaparte’s granddaughter, his son-in-law, his daughter, Jake, Oona and Roman made Christmas wonderful!
I was gifted by Jake, Roman and Oona with a trip to Arkansas to visit Oona for a while. I will be finalizing plans over the week. It’ll be great to hang out with Oona on her new home turf!
This card led to a box filled with clues….
…like this magnet of Arkansas. Let us only hope that is Hipster Jesus on the bottom left welcoming me!
Bonaparte, in his never-ending efforts to turn me into a proper Franco-American broad, gifted me with a beautiful Hermes scarf, my favorite Guerlain perfume, AND a longer stay this coming summer in Theoule! And..knowing my deep love and affection for all things J. Crew, a nice gift card!
As soon as I saw that orange box, I KNEW there was something beautiful inside. There was!
Bonaparte is so pragmatic in his gifting. I’m running very low on my L’Instant and the J. Crew gift card gives me incentive to reduce my disgustingly fat flabby ass and thighs–not to mention my gut!
Oh…and the kids gifted Bonaparte with a little piece of equipment to turn our downstairs TV, which is a “dumb” TV, into a “Smart” TV. It’s an Apple TV. I’ll tell you this much. This little machine truly IS smart—and cheeky. It took seemingly forever for me to “understand” the mechanics and set up—and you can speak into this. After twenty minutes of unsuccessful passwording, I said “Fuck you” to this cute little box. She answered “Ohhhhh”…and after repeated cursing she finally asked “Why are you cursing so much?” Looks like Bonaparte has a buddy in questioning my gutter mouth!
This little Apple TV box turned our dumb TV into a smart TV! Isn’t technology greatness?
Bonaparte’s daughter, his son-in-law gifted us with a certificate to our favorite restaurant. Spring Mill Café! We will have a great, great dinner. After I drop twenty pounds!
Christmas was lovely—and I’m a bit saddened that it’s over, but we have fantastic memories!
Next greatness. Just as my lowest point of the year was beginning to surface, I landed a temporary position for a month. It was, hands down, the best job. I enjoyed the company, the people—and especially the salary! It made me realize that I am worth every cent I earned!
It really was great to be hired, even as a temp–which, I may add was extended! I loved working this job!
Another greatness was Chippy’s affection. The longer I stayed home, the more Chippy became my bestie. He can sense when I’m upset. He’ll look at me like “Don’t worry. I’m here”. Then he’ll come up and smother cuddle with me—provided I stroke and pet him for an hour or so!
Yes. As you can see from this photo of my Chippy, I mean the world to him. Perhaps in his dreams!
A greatness that led to one of the greatest greatnesses of 2015—this is a greatness domino effect. I’ll explain. Christmas 2014 had Jake, Roman, and Oona gifting Bonaparte and me with a weekend at the Wythe Hotel in Brooklyn. It was a great way to begin 2015 and we had a blast.
Bonaparte snapped this pic last January at the Wythe Hotel in Brooklyn. A weekend here, as well as a baking class at Momofuku Milk Bar and dinner rounded out this greatness of Christmas gifts! Me, Oona, Jake and Roman having fun!
In fact, we had such great weekend that I became inspired. That weekend was the kick in my fat ass that I needed to start my blog.
You see, I had always toyed with the idea of blogging, but I didn’t think I had anything much to say. To tell you the truth, I really don’t have anything much to say—but I say it anyway, and it ends up to be quite a lot of not much to say. The greatness is that I ended up absolutely falling in love with my little blog. The greater greatness is that I ended up making a circle of over 600 “friends” who are faithful readers of my blog. To quote Ina Garten: “How great is THAT?”
My little blog has given me a platform to bitch and complain about the shit that happened over the year. Like my never-ending search for employment. The daunting experiences of job interviews from Hell—and the even more daunting experiences of fabulously wonderful job interviews that fed into my delusions that I DID get the job!
I’ve been able to get on my high horse to pontificate about ageism! Age-Aid. A Benefit Concert for the Ageism Movement Revolution that I wanted to start!
I even designed a profound Tee Shirt for this delusional event!
I, yes, and little old me was able to snag a journalist coup by interviewing Satan. All thanks to my bestie, Hipster Jesus! He is such a great buddy of mine! Hopefully, I was able to enlighten at least one trillionth of our population on just how evil the Duggar family is. My Interview With Satan. A Journalistic Coup! Thank you Hipster Jesus!
Hey, if it were not for my relationship with my good friend Hipster Jesus, I would have never been able to enter the hot spot known as Hell to chat with that red hot cutie, Satan!
I covered issues such as baldness and hair loss for women. My Hair Lady. The Bald and the Beautiful!
My cute little bob wiggy!
I gave unwarranted fashion advice—and had the balls to post fashion pics that would have “legit” fashion bloggers running to their toilets with their fingers shoved down their throats in an effort to make that last meal be enjoyed a second time while coming back up from the sight of my ample limbs ,”age-id” face and lack of high-end, over-the-top clothing choices!
Oh..and my travel postings would surely put my delusional travel BFF, Rick Steves to shame! (shhhh..no they wouldn’t)
Recipe successes and fails! A Son’s Visit. Recipe Fails and Successes!
Oh. Here’s a great success from this Christmas. My 2015 Buche de Noel. Do you like the meringue mushrooms? I ate most of them!
….and there’s always my greatness in beauty advice! My Attempt at The Kardashian Makeup Look!
Hey! So why wasn’t 2015 my happy year?
Oh yeah, it was because I did NOT find that coveted job.
The shitty medical insurance I have is NOT affordable and it isn’t Obama’s fault either—the only winners are the insurance companies.
I got super-fat from stress. My gut could hold all 19 of Michelle Duggar’s litter and a few RV’s.
Look how fat my face got. I won’t even show you my ass!
…and after I dropped Oona off at the train station in Hamilton, NJ yesterday, I drove to Trenton to pick up three pints of my favorite ice cream. Halo Farms. Time for some serious emo eating for the end of the year. I already finished off one of the pints! And it was GREATNESS!
Yes. I finished off the Praline Pecan Ice Cream. Just for me and only for me. And my thighs. And my arm flab. And my cushion of an ass. And my chins. And I loved every spoonsful!
I could not afford my coveted Botox. Yes. I AM that deeply shallow. I want a few fillers in my face.
I feel badly because Bonaparte is supporting me and I don’t want to depend on anyone—but I’ll take it!
Yup! My Bonaparte is reaching into his wallet to help me! He’s not lookin’ too happy about it either. Oops!
My hypochondrium is at an all-time high. So far in the past few days I have: Crohn’s Disease. Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Gastroenteritis. Gall Stones. Fibromyalgia. Pancreatitis. And anything else I can think of. This is why work and exercise are good things.
Two of my aunts and Daniele transitioned this year and left our earthly presence. They will be greatly missed—especially my second mother, Daniele.
A great actor, but more than that, a great woman. We miss you!
Actually, 2015 wasn’t really too much of a bad year at all.
Every year has the great with the bad. It’s all how we chose to look at it. For me, I’ll look at 2015 through my good eye and keep all the great memories with me. I’ll see the bad through my blind eye and throw the bad memories of this past year in the trash—where they belong.
I don’t have any resolutions for 2016 because I never keep them.
What I do have are goals. And my biggest goal is to to focus more on making my blog more entertaining for those who read about my musings, vents, delusions and whatever else strikes my fancy. Why? Because I write for me and to everyone who reads my blog. I want to make some serious happy nest!
Another goal (much to Bonaparte’s chagrin) is to NOT curb my gutter-mouth. If I did that, I would be changing my personality. Although for Bonaparte, I’ll remember to curse more in the French language!
It should read “Keep Calm and Learn to Curse in French”. Merde!
Since my medical insurance is basically non-existent, another huge goal is to live a healthier lifestyle. I’ll be sharing healthy recipes in 2016. I’m reading this book—it’s half “makes sense” and half “these authors are wackos”. I’ll focus on the half that makes sense!
There is some wacky shit in this book–but on the other hand, it’ll help me focus on just eating meat, fish, veggies, fruit and nuts. That’s it. Bonaparte will have all the wine and champagne for him.
Finding employment is not a goal for 2016. I refuse to set myself up for failure. End of subject.
Happy New Year Everyone!
Enjoy this last eve of 2015. If you party, party hearty but sensibly. If you spend a reflective and quiet evening, do it well and thoughtfully-focusing on the positive!
All Things Must Pass. Mr. Harrison knew this well!