A Fun-Filled New Year’s Day. We Took The Tree Down.

The 2015 Christmas season is officially boxed up and in hibernation until later this year.  Oh. Can you believe it?  It isn’t “Christmas next year“.   Next Christmas is the end of this year—2016.  Actually, I have to run to the Walmart in a little while to purchase a couple of more bins to store the rest of the many pillows that were purchased this year.  And pack up some linens and a few other items.  Then the season will officially be boxed up.

pillow in bin

I finally packed up the last of the pillows and decorations today!

The bannisters are bare and to tell you the truth, as much as I am saddened by the end of the season, I’m diggin’ the way everything looks right now. The buildup to Christmas is so incredible—from Thanksgiving on it’s the time of decorating, and wrapping gifts and baking and meal prep and being with family.  And with the snap of a finger—it’s finished. The January let-down begins.

The now bare bannister

As much as I love the way the stairway  looked with the greenery and the rustic ribbon (pic on right), I’m giving a sigh of relief that everything is put away!

 And now, I’m gonna tell you how we spent our New Year’s Day.

First of all, I was so incredibly good.  I got rid of the remaining sweets. (NO, I did NOT eat them. Bonaparte was disgusted enough that I ate, wolfed down, and literally inhaled two entire pints of Halo Farms Ice Cream. Those pints were my “last meal” before the start of my “healthy eating” year, months, weeks, days.)

Why I'm fat

Yes I did.  I consumed the entire contents of the Chocolate Peanut Paradise and Praline Pecan ice creams.  I left the Tahiti Vanilla Bean for Bonaparte. I’m a giver!

Okay. I got rid of most of the remaining sweets.  I kept the biscotti.  There is a reason for this.  What if guests stop by?  I need something to offer to them. (This is delusional because I have one friend within a 25-mile radius of Phoenixville. Everyone else lives in New Jersey or New York or other points within the USA and Europe. Nobody will stop by to see me.)

Biscotti in the freezer and in a pot

The biscotti is stored in airtight bags some are in the freezer, as shown on the left. Some are “hidden” *cough* in a large pot in one of the kitchen cabinets!

I cleaned out most of the fridge.  I got rid of the pate because if I wanted to have it, I would have to eat it on a carb-filled cracker or bread.  I’m not going to go near carbs trying to steer clear of carbs for at least 30 days.  Bonaparte won’t mind because he’ll have all those lousy Wegman’s baguettes to himself.

But enough about food because I’m becoming  very hungry. And it’s only 10:07 in the morning.

Next pleasurable task god-awful chore was taking the tree down. But first—I had to strip our crooked tree of her ornaments, rustic ribbon and lights.  And with every touch I bestowed upon “The Little Crooked”, she shed about 500 needles.

bare branches

It was hard for me to process the fact that we took “Little Crooked” down after less than a month! This was the driest tree we ever had. Look how bare the top is!

By the time I was finished, there were only a handful of needles left on her.  I swear to God I only wish I could shed my fat as quick as our tree shed needles.

ornaments packed away

My ornament storage bin.  I had my long-needed exercise by taking each ornament off the tree, walking over to the dining room table and placing the ornament in the bin. It was taxing and I broke a sweat!

But before we officially “took her down”, I had to sweep up the needles manually before vacuuming.

Needles. Almost done

This is just a very small amount of the needles that were shed.  I envy those with fake trees!

This is where it got ugly. This is why I didn’t make a resolution to not curse or curb my gutter mouth.   In the first place, I refuse to ruin our vacuum cleaner with a ton of fir needles. Those needles won’t make the place smell like a pine laden forest. The tree stopped gifting us with her scent two weeks ago.  In the second place, the needles will only get stuck in big clumps and clog the hose and I’ll only end up cursing the vacuum as well.

It was quite the site as I got down on all fours to collect the needles.  I started “scratching” the needles in piles on the carpet.  Chippy has this habit of scratching the carpet. When he does this I make threats that would have PETA and any other animal-loving association storm through my door and take him away for good.

What a job!

This is more like it.  There were needles EVERYWHERE. If you look closely behind the tree, you’ll see aluminum foil. It’s covering the vent. I had to stick my arm down the vent to collect a mountain of needles!

However, this time, I was hoping that I could lead the old Chipster by example and have him come over and assist me.  Instead, when he saw me on all fours, he decided to make me his girlfriend and he tried to do the bouncy-bouncy with me.

Chippy the Wonderdog. Then who you lookin at

I swear to you I could hear Burt Bacharach singing “The Look of Love” in the background!

I started to curse the carpet.  Who the hell invented wall-to-wall carpeting anyway?  Carpeting is the bane of my existence. I hate it. Carpeting is NEVER EVER fully clean.   Trust me. When I had the house in New Jersey, I went through not one, but two Hoover Carpet Steamers. Two. I was obsessive. And no matter how many times I used that steamer, the same amount of filth turned the water gray. It was vile.

steam vac

That’s right. I went through TWO of these babies.   I need to get another one very soon!

Those pesky dust mites that are invisible and their germ partners were probably doing the happy dance when I picked those needles up.

You know how one thought leads to another? You know how I venture off-topic?

Well, cleaning those damn needles led to thoughts other than how much I hate carpeting.

I started thinking about job interviews.  I pretended to be at an interview with an all too self-important HR Princess…

HR Princess“So tell me. Just WHY would you like to be employed here in this position?”

Me: “I want this job because I need to replace the goddam carpeting in my home with hardwood flooring.  We have hardwood in the foyer and downstairs hallway.  We also have hardwood in the kitchen, sunroom, and dining room.  And now, I feel the need to be rid of toxins and germs and must work in order to pay for the living room, stairs, and upstairs hallway to be floored with a beautiful wood.”

HR Princess: “Is THAT the only reason you want this position???”

Me: “No.  I also want to start getting fillers in my face.  I want the full lips I had in my twenties.”  “Oh. And I want to purchase a Louie Neverfull bag.”  “I’m deeply shallow and I admit it”. “Having a job is the only way I will be able to afford all of these luxuries—um, necessities!”

louis-vuitton-neverfull-mm-monogram-canvas-icons--M40995_PM2_Front view

 

Just ONE reason that I so desperately want a job!

I would LOVE to recite those sentences on a job interview.  It would be honest.  And I can bet, 95 percent of people who go on job interviews are thinking the same exact thing!

Back to New Year’s Day at Chateau Bonaparte!

After we wrapped the tree in its huge plastic throw-away bag, the sofas were stripped of pillows and cozy Christmas-themed throw blankets.

tree in the bag

We gave “Little Crooked” a proper send off!

Sofas are b ack to normal

All the sofas in the house are looking mighty plain without the festive pillows and throws!

The table linens and tree skirt were laundered and ironed.

ironing the tree skirt

Not only is the tree skirt laundered and ironed, but it is starched and sprayed with Lavender scent! All ready for next December!

I packed what I could and left the remaining decorations out to be packed in new bins.

Ready to be stored away

Waiting to be packed away.  My new strategy is placing each strand of lights in plastic zippered bags. I think there may be less tangling by packing them this way!

Bonaparte and I finished just in time to get dressed and head off to the movies to see “Hateful Eight”, the new Quentin Tarantino film.

 

I decided to put on a pair of pants that I hadn’t worn in a long time.  Black GAP jeggings.  I could not snap them. These are “jeggings”—which means there is a shitload of stretch and I could not close them because my gut got that fat. My belly resembled a  Blobfish .

ugliest-animals-worlds-ugliest-blobfish

Seriously. My gut and the spillage pretty much resembles this blobfish.  The only difference is my belly lacks two eyes!

 I’m so disgusted with my lack of willpower to eat healthy and exercise.   I grabbed a pair of fat pants and squeezed into them, vowing that when I finally become employed, I’ll add a tummy tuck to that list with the hardwood flooring, fillers, and Neverfull bag.

I’m gonna be honest.  I love Quentin Tarantino.  In fact, I’ve been tempted to write to him asking him to hire me to be in one of his films.  I could be the old, ugly, bald and cross-eyed lunatic lady who owns a luncheonette and poisons people.  It would not be much of a stretch.

Anyway, “Inglourious Bastards” and “Django Unchained” are two of my all-time favorite movies.  Who couldn’t forget John Travolta in “Pulp Fiction”?  Tarantino never fails to entertain.  “Hateful Eight” was not among my favorite Quentin movies.  Too much talking and not enough action until the last ten minutes.   I think Mr. Tarantino must be spending too much time watching “new-wave” French films –there is nothing but talking in those new wave films.

hateful_eight_cast_0

The cast was great–especially Kurt Russell and Jennifer Jason-Leigh. There was NOT enough of Channing Tatum! Unfortunately, for us, it wasn’t Tarantino’s best movie!

An errand run completed our afternoon and  then it was time to come home and relax.

I got a bit sad.  Thinking about the kids. Thinking about the fact I’ll be 61 come April and I’m unemployed, fat, and most of all lazy. My face is getting wrinkly. My dye jobs only last two weeks because the gray roots are so fierce (and not fierce in a good way).  I was on the verge of a pity-party.

Wrinkly face and gray roots. Ugh

See my wrinkles. Ugh. I need to start going through the trash at dermatologists’s offices. Maybe I can find half-filled vials of Botox or Juviderm! Those fucking roots.  I just colored them a couple of weeks before Christmas!

Then Bonaparte came downstairs with a piggy nose and all I could do was laugh. Actually, we both had a good and long laugh with each other.  The piggy nose was one of the items in the box of clues my kids gave me to hint my trip to Arkansas. They eat a lot of barbeque in Arkansas.

He's going to kill me.

Bonaparte always knows how to cheer me up and get me laughing!  Laughing is always the best medication! It worked and we had a blast of an evening for the first night of 2016!

And after a nice little dinner of salmon and salad, we spent the rest of New Year’s Day evening watching old reruns of Saturday Night Live.

Oops! I forgot. I did manage to keep a bit of a reminder of Christmas.  I saved the Poinsettias.  I couldn’t stand to throw a living plant in the trash. Maybe they will survive the winter!

 

The only sign of christmas

They may have lost leaves, but they are still alive..and I love red!

It was a lovely start to the New Year!  XOXOXOXO

More Beatles. Because I DO get by with a little help from my friends—especially my friends who enjoy reading my blog! For you….

 

 

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
This entry was posted in Cleaning, Home Decor, Home Decorating, humor, Winter Blues. After Christmas Blues and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to A Fun-Filled New Year’s Day. We Took The Tree Down.

  1. Ever tried putting the Christmas lights on an empty egg carton? That is how my mom keeps hers from getting tangled up during storage. Simply wrap the end with the plug on it in the first egg hole and continue wrapping the strand around the carton!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      You know, that’s the second time I heard that about the egg carton. The lights from last year ( I love saying and writing that) are packed away but I think I will be saving egg cartons for later this year! Thanks for the sage advice! XOXOXO!

      Like

  2. Carol says:

    Omg! I have been laughing all throughout your post. Girl, you know how to elicit such joy through your writing. My son actually asked me why I was laughing so hard.

    All I can say is “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” I feel so blessed to know YOU and have the pleasure of reading your blog. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  3. spearfruit says:

    This is way too funny – I laughed all through this post. I agree with Carol’s comment above, I was laughing out loud so hard, I am surprised my neighbors did not hear me. You always bring a smile to my face – I so truly enjoy reading your posts! Happy New Year my friend! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Spear! I’m glad that you are continuing to enjoy my foibles (hey, when was the last time you heard THAT word–huh???). Happy New Year Dear–and continued fun to us all for 2016! XOXOXO!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Haylee says:

    That blobfish is hilarious… I’m definitely growing one of my own! It’s also quite cute in a bizarre way – maybe if I draw eyes on my stomach I’ll love it more! We’ve not seen Hateful Eight yet but read a review that it’s like a stretched out version of the opening scene from Inglorious – in other words a very long conversation! Still, big fans of Tarantino too so will see what we make of it. Well done to Bonaparte – I’m not sure which photo I laughed at the most, his or the blobfish! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Haylee–is that Blobfish not incredibly um…incredible?? It looks like my gut–although Bonaparte questioned that. But still–I’m tempted to actually go out in search of a blobfish because I want to taste one now. BTW, that description from the review of Hateful Eight was spot on. It was a very long conversation! XOXOXO!!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Leslie Preston says:

    Stop where you are! I think you look pretty. You have hair, your face really looks great, you have a real chin/jaw definition. Come on, girl! Spray some root cover on your roots, if you must, and you’re good to go! P.S. Because Chippy’s nose isn’t black, his nose almost seems human…what is he thinking?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Leslie. You are way too kind. I will admit though, my strong jaw has definitely been a good thing because there are many people out there who would have loved to punch it and break it. My ex-husband included. LOL! I’m going to do a little touch up with my root cover today and perhaps wig it. I’m washing slip covers today which is a day-long chore that should have been done a long time ago. Oh Chippy has incredibly naughty thoughts! XOXOXOXO!!!

      Like

  6. BunKaryudo says:

    I’m not sure how anyone could possibly object to those three tubs of ice cream. I mean, it’s not like they were all the same flavor. You had peanut, vanilla and praline pecan, so it was properly balanced. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lynnette Jessep says:

    You look fab Catherine ..luv your style xx

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ok..that does it,,,,I’ll be a season ticket holder to All your stand up shows….your good medicine!!! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. angela ambrose says:

    Cathy this one was especially funny! Thanks for the laughs…. Dumpster diving at the Derms office! Ahahahahah ha ha good one! Hey hint hint… As your hairdresser friend I’m here to tell you that if your hair is that grey… Maybe time to lighten it up.. Speak to your hairdresser about camouflaging the greys with hi liters and lighter hair… Black hair with grey roots is a no no and can be aging.. Not that you look old at all…lol It really does work an takes 10 years off ya life! Anyway Blondes may have more fun! Happy New Years ! Angie

    Liked by 1 person

  10. calensariel says:

    OMG!!! I have been in SUCH a filthy mood today that I felt like actually decking this 87-year-old geezer in Sunday School this morning. All the man can talk about is women, sex, and fat women whom he’d marry if they could drop to 150 lbs.! I can honestly say I have NEVER in my life wanted to flatten someone! Till today. So I have been in one horrid mood ALL DAMN DAY. Till I got on your blog.

    I have now made myself sick from laughing so hard at the blobfish, and I even pulled a video on them up on youtube and made Drollery and Brandon watch it while I cackled uncontrollably. And just when they thought I had settled down and was ok, I scrolled down to Bonaparte’s picture! That’s it.That’s all I could stand! My sides hurt so bad I may have to go to the doc tomorrow and Drollery says I can send you the bill…

    You have NO idea how badly I needed your blog tonight. God bless you, dear girl! ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      LOL. The irony is that prig of a man was in church. I would be more discreet, though, and would stick my pointy toed shoe out at him as he hobbled by with his cane. I would have tripped him and laughed when his filthy brittle bones started cracking! (Hell hath no fury……). But that blobfish. Can you believe it? It’s so hysterically funny! I’m so happy that I gave you a good laugh! XOXOXOXO!! Hope your week is better!!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. LosiLosLoco says:

    Never failed to make my day! XD Thank you Catherine! This was just so entertaining to read. Seriously. How can your life be boring and unfulfilled? And you look marvelous! Stop being so hard on yourself… Much Love!

    Liked by 1 person

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