Public employment contributes neither to advantage nor happiness. It is but honorable exile from one’s family and affairs.” Thomas Jefferson. A long time ago.
You cannot imagine how joyful and filled with glee I was to be nominated for the Room 101 award.
Now THIS is a fun and unconventional award. Right up my alley!
My blogger sister in crime, Carol, from Writeful Mind bestowed this delightful honor on my yesterday. Just as I was feeling the bad mommy pangs and laughing hysterically at a photo I took of my son. And still laughing about it.
Seriously, only a truly awful mother would take photos of her child like this and continue to laugh for over 26 years every time she sees this! I should be banished to Room 101!
What makes me so happy is that I get to banish five things, people, events, and any “whatevers” that bother the living shit out of me to a Room with other exiles.
In other words. I get to bitch and complain and be completely respected and validated about this!!! The only issue with this is that my banishments are limited to five. I could go on and on.
Anyway, here are the five I banish into Room 101. The Room of Doom!
- The Republican Party Candidates Who Want To Be Considered For Presidential Nomination: I’m also including Sarah Palin in this because she’s the object of their love and lust in this political gang-bang. Seriously. This circus is an embarrassment to the United States of America. Not a one of them speak of what they will do for these United States of America. Nothing about stopping the criminalization of Health Insurance Companies. Nothing about ageism. Nothing about the student loan issue. All they do is blab on and on and on and on and fist pump about war and hate and terrorism and hate. Whenever they run out of hateful things to say, they rely on Jesus. They also feel it is more important to throw shade at each other rather than face any really important issues. Jesus ain’t gonna help you morons, no matter how much you try to bring him into your platforms.
The circus of hate and ignorance. Wait? Where’s Donald?
Hey Donald, I hope you aren’t cheating on your beautiful foreign wife, Melanoma with the cancer known as Palin!
- HR Princesses and Queens: Oh I am dying to throw these bitches into Room 101! Guess what? You are NOT the owner of the corporation that employs you. In fact, when your large corporation merges with another, YOU will be one of the first to get fired! You all think you are high and mighty—and the smug tone that you carry while you are interviewing is downright condescending. Are you that threatened by older women? Do you think it is ok for you to dismiss anyone over 50 years old? I laugh at your banishment because one day, you will be old and wrinkled and hopefully, you will lose a job and find out what it is like to be treated like shit from another, younger HR princess or queen!
Even Willie Wonka knows all about HR ! Maybe he’s thrown them in the Chocolate River!
- Fashion Magazines, Cosmetic Companies, and Clothing Designers: I had to group you all together because you are basically sororities of all things that make real women feel intimidated. You make us feel worthless and ugly and fat. Anna Wintour, listen to Grace Coddington. She hates the fact that you have celebrities on your cover month after month after year. I stopped buying Vogue after Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were on Vogue’s cover. You, Ms. Wintour, have managed to take Diana Vreeland’s classy fashion monthly and turn it into the “National Inquirer” of the rag trade. In addition, I’m tired of cosmetic companies advertising for anti-aging creams and other potions, and lotions on twenty-year old, airbrushed, photo shopped faces to falsely advertise results. Real women, no matter how much goo we put on our faces, have little lines. We have scars and we have spots, blotches, freckles and flaws. Real is beautiful.Clothing designers—its bad enough you use girls who cannot even afford to or even want to buy some of your designs, but why do you insist on using underfed, 7-foot tall skeletons of women? Real women have tits and ass and short legs and some have blubber guts and some have teeny-tiny guts. It would be great to see how these clothes look on normal women before we get into the car, deal with traffic, look for a parking space at the mall only to arrive at Nordstrom, try the clothing on that you made and find out that we look horrible in those same designs that looked fabulous on those human Q-tips!
Diana Vreeland is probably rolling over in her designer grave right now. I’m pretty sure she would agree with me that Wintour is a celebrity pimp!
- Ageism: Yeah. The “Ism” that nobody speaks of. Well, I’m speaking about it. In fact, I’m banishing you to Room 101 so you can have a lovefest with those HR bitches. All the agists belong here!
That’s right OLD lives DO matter! End Ageism!
- Fundamental Fake Christians: Forget the room. This group needs a Condo 101 to be banished to. That’s right. All you Duggar’s, friends of Duggars and Gothard following fundies and more. You. Are. Banished. Oh yeah. You pretend to be good god-fearing individuals and you can recite passages from that man-made story book known as The Bible. But you don’t practice those words. You spew hatred, just like the Republicans and Conservatives, toward Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Gays, Transsexuals, Planned Parenthood and any other group that doesn’t fall into your phoney ideology.
Their phoney smiles try to hide their hateful ideology! The entire Duggar family is now banished to Room 101. I hope it’s a small room and you are all incredibly uncomfortable!
The spirit of Hipster Jesus is NOT with you. The spirit of Adolf Hitler seems to be more in tune with your souls.
That’s right you fake-Christian fundies. Hipster Jesus is a BFF of mine. HE knows how full of shit you are. He told me! We had a few glasses of wine last night while listening to Jesus Jones!
Oh. For my nominations:
If you haven’t already, click on the links for these blogs—always entertaining!
Oh for the Rules:
Thank the blogger (Your’s truly) who nominated you. Then award 5 bloggers who fascinate, intrigue or tickle your curiosity with the Room 101 award badge logo and link their “About” and link them to your post. Attach these rules to your post. 5. Grab the badge and place on your trophy case!
Listen. All I want is peace and love. I want a more Hippie like environment. We need to change for the better. Right here. Right now. Oh..that’s what Hipster Jesus and I were listening to last night: