Down With Love!

Bonaparte made dinner reservations at our favorite local restaurant for this coming Saturday evening.  February 13th, the day before St. Valentine’s Day.  The restaurant is “Spring Mill Café” and we love our dinners there.

The staff knows us, the food is always consistently great, and we always reserve the same table in a little alcove of the restaurant so that we are separated from other diners.

Spring Mill Cafe

Spring Mill Cafe. It really IS our favorite restaurant. It’s like being in someone’s French kitchen!

And in this little spot, we study the dinner menu. The menu changes seasonally, but we know what to expect.  We always order the Charcuterie Board as a starter and from there we ponder and make our selections and we are always happy and satisfied with our meal.

Since this weekend is Valentines weekend, Bonaparte had the smarts to ask me to call the restaurant and inquire if there would be a “special” menu for Valentine’s Day.  There is and so I changed our reservation for the following Saturday evening.

Spring Mill Cafe Menu

While I realize that V-Day is a good business day for restaurants, I wish the regular menu offerings were available too.  No big deal–we will just celebrate a week later!

And this is one of the reasons I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to be told what I have to eat because it is a “special” day.

its valentines day signs

Yes. I am well-aware of this special day and as soon as it’s over the St. Patrick’s decorations will be shoved in my face!

Valentine’s Day is the day set aside for love and lovers.  Let me tell you something about the word “lover”

I have never, and I mean never referred to any ex-boyfriend, ex-husband, or Bonaparte as my lover”. And if any ex-boyfriend, or my ex-husband, or Bonaparte ever used lover” to describe my part in the relationship, it would be a deal breaker. I would walk away. I cannot stomach that word.  Eww. It is so fuc (I almost forgot. I am giving up cursing for Lent. It’s the least I could do since Bonaparte gets upset with my filthy gutter-mouth.  Besides, not cursing is a special Valentine’s Day gift for him!), it is so darn pretentious and annoying!

The lovers

If you’ve ever seen this skit on SNL with Rachel Dratch and Will Ferrell, you’ll know what I”m talking ’bout!

Valentine’s Day is so forced and contrived. I mean, seriously.  I have visions of greasy abusive men stopping off at the last minute at a gas station to buy their better half a cheap stuffed teddy bear and candy in a heart-shaped box.  And when they come home they just kind of toss the gifts to their woman. I can see it now:

Greasy Guy (tossing teddy bear and candy to his woman):  “Hey. Happy Valentine’s Day”  “What’s for dinner?”

Greasy Guy’s girlfriend:  “Aww. Honey. I “wuv” youuuu..” “I made your favorite Hamburger Helper for dinner”

Greasy Guy: “Hamburger Helper!”  “Man, I shoulda got you flowers too!” “I “wuv” you too”!

bear with candy

…this is the kind of Valentine’s you give to your children. If any grown man gave me something like this and told me he “wuved” me he’d be next to the one who referred to me as his “lover”.  

Valentine’s Day pushes the limit of tasteful attire.

Naughty Valentines outfit

I created this outfit on Polyvore.  I would wear the Hermes scarf and the trench coat.  I would wear the matching undies only…..

Let’s just say I would wear a get-up like the one above to my dermatologist’s office.  He would be so grossed out by my ripples and wrinkles sticking out of both bra and panty that he would have to focus extra-hard on my skin check.

In a plane. Yes. I always wear matching underwear on flights. Just in case the worst happens and my body gets torn in half.  The rescue workers can match the top with the bottom—and a bright, sexy ensemble of unmentionables would have me matched up in no time!

Id rather wear these

I would rather wear Wonderwoman panties because I would rather be empowered than sexy!

Valentine’s Day is an excuse to eat bad candy. I know that chocolate is one of the greatest gastronomical delights known to woman.  I have received chocolates in heart shaped boxes.  Most of the chocolates were thrown in the trash.  Why?  Because I’m that girl/lady/woman/old hag who bites into a chocolate and if the filling is fruity fake nougat or the inside is oozing with a flavor I can’t quite describe, I bite and spit.  I am a chocolate purist.  Chocolate with nuts or toffee—yes.   Filled chocolate-no.


Forest Gump was wrong. Life is NOT like a box of chocolates . If it were, we would be spitting things out of our mouths all day.

Valentine’s Day is also another way that card companies sidle into your private life with any excuse for a card. Even at the expense of reminding someone that they are alone on this day of blissful romance and love. Hey. Let’s make all single people and those who’ve suffered a break up all feel badly on this day.

What I found in the Card Section

I swear to God, I almost shit a brick  fell over when I saw THIS in the Valentine’s Day card section. WTF???  To make matters worse, there was a wide selection!

Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t that I don’t love. My kids, Bonaparte and Chippy are the center of my world.

It’s just that I’m not one of those “Hello Kitty”, “Disney Princess”, cutesy romantics.  Although I will admit that I oftentimes comment on Facebook with little heart emoji’s if I like something a lot.  And I always sign of with “XOXOXOXO”.

kitty and disney


Yeah Kitty, I “woof” you–you too little princess!

My love is more pragmatic.

Love is a verb.

Love hurts.

Love is a roller coaster.

Lust is Michel Polnareff begging to me to love him.

Love is an emotion. It is that feeling you get inside you that shakes you up when you see that special someone doing something nice for you.

Bonaparte begging me to leave him alone

Bonaparte telling me to get back in the house and NOT help to shovel snow is an act of pure love!

Love is the overwhelming feeling you get when you are with your children and you realize that they are the most wonderful people in the world.

us at whythe

My three little babies.  I love them more and more each day!

Love is wanting to help those you care about and not asking for anything in return.

Love is something that we all need at some point during our lifetimes.

Love actually is saying that you are sorry.  Especially when you hurt those you do love.

Love makes the world go ’round.

Happy love to you every day. Not just on St. Valentine’s Day!

my little hearts

Kisses to you from me.  For every day!!! XOXOXO

So yeah, when I say “Down with love” I mean it in the down-in-the-forced-and-contrived sense of love—because real love is beautiful!

Let my friend Bobby Darin explain:

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
This entry was posted in Bobby Darin, Down With Love, Fuck Love, John Mayer, Michel Polnareff, Ohio Players, Valentine's Day and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to Down With Love!

  1. Tejaswi says:

    As always, you said it best 🙂 (Thank god, I am not the only “unromantic” -according to my wife – curmudgeon on this planet. Love has to mean a lot more than barfy cards on V-Day or muttering ‘Wuv you’ round the clock)

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Tej! Right???? Bonaparte is definitely the more romantic one in our relationship–but he’s French..and he knows how to romance well. No “wuv”s in our chateau! Love is too good to be patronized and wasted on one day! Hey. I should have used that as my lead in line. I think I’ll go edit!

  2. spearfruit says:

    LOL, oh Catherine you are making me laugh so hard my insides hurt. I just had surgery dear, I cannot afford to laugh that hard. Thank you – I really enjoyed reading this. 🙂

    • Catherine says:

      Oh shit. I mean, Oh DEAR–I’m so sorry (see, I love you because I apologized to you) that I made your innards hurt! You are quite welcome! Hey. Did I ever tell you about how much my lady parts hurt after giving birth to my oldest? He was a ten pounder and I had him naturally. Anyway, a couple of hours after he was born, I was watching an episode of Taxi, I laughed so hard that my stitches popped and I had to get sewn back up and I needed more Tylonel with codeine………..XOXOXO!

  3. Leslie Preston says:

    I am totally in agreement! I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Thank you, again!!!!!!!

  4. Your posts always get me singing!!! As a rule…we celebrate our love everyday, not because the calendar says so!!!


  5. Suzy Barker says:

    Great post. Spot on with your opinions! Maybe it’s a point of view that comes with maturity? Although my 30 year old daughter has a similar view of V Day too. So maybe it’s a common sense approach? Anyway, I’m right with you on this one …

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Suzy. Your daughter is a smart young woman. My daughter has the same views too. We have raised empowered credits to our gender!!! But yeah, I do think a more pragmatic approach to V-Day is a more mature approach. I swear to god, I cringe at half the stuff that’s out there. Growing up, my other may have not been very demonstrative, but her little Valentine’s touch was a heart-shaped cake for dessert that she baked. Every. Single. Valentine’s. Day! It was sweet! XOXOXO!!!

  6. JulietC says:

    Great post – I can’t stand the gushy, mushy sentiments of lurve either – and don’t bother with the overpriced and nasty chocolate that comes out specifically for Valentines Day (or Easter) good quality normal chocolate is always welcome but being fleeced for a substandard product annoys me, although I will also admit that some decent cheese would be always be welcome too – some lovely french or artisanal UK cheese is like special currency in our house… and by the way your babies are all beautiful.

    Finally, I gave up adding salt to stuff for Lent – I couldn’t give up swearing as a vow of silence is just not possible for me

    • Catherine says:

      Juliet. Thank you. Love isn’t mushy or gushy. It’s like those fake Christian values with their fake love. Ugh. And don’t get me started on that waxy Easter chocolate either. I would much rather have a nice cheese or a red steak..or red wine! My Lenten sacrifice isn’t working out too well, but at least I’m not eating in between meals! XOXOXO!

  7. Definitely words of wisdom. Love is made up of everyday things, unexpected surprises, and simple gestures, not a contrived holiday meant to spur business for the greeting card companies. 🙂

  8. maidsdayoff says:

    A wholeheartedly agree! I was soured on the whole day while living in an all girls dorm in college. About noon the flower deliveries would start coming in and everyone would wait with bated breath to see if they’d be on the receiving end. The girls who would get flowers would fawn and gloat, making the ones who were unattached at that particular time feel like crap. Worse yet was if you DID have a boyfriend and he didn’t send you flowers, because in the eyes of the flower-receivers, that meant there was obviously something wrong with him! The whole day fostered more blows to self-esteem than you could count! I hated every contrived minute of it. To this day, the best Valentine’s Day gift my husband could give me would be a giant bag of plain M&Ms (he doesn’t even need to bother finding the red and pink ones) and to wash the road salt off my car! XO

  9. maidsdayoff says:

    Oh and by the way – yours is the best excuse for wearing matching underwear that I’ve ever heard! LOL!!!

    • Catherine says:

      Please. I was that girl who saw the others get the flowers and, be that as it may, even though I never outwardly showed m disappointment–it still stings. I’m tired of the “Look what I got for Valentine’s-Birthday-Mother-s day-Christmas bullshit. It IS the little things that count. And those plain M & M’s—those are the best kinds of gifts. Simple and from the heart..and that is all that counts. BTW back atcha–my strategy for matching underwear is incredibly pragmatic AND logical. Am I right?? XOXXOXO!

  10. Judy says:

    I love this! Love is…….definitely not the Valentine’s Day circus which rolls around as soon as we get the Christmas decorations down. Love is what my husband did today : prepared the car for me to leave early tomorrow for a three hour journey to see my elderly mother in a nursing home, complete with a tin of my favourite barley sugar. I don’t have to worry about oil, water etc etc, it’s all done. Bless him. Maidsdayoff, I remember those awful February 14ths when everyone had flowers and cards and I was always between boyfriends and conspicuous by my flower- less state!

    • Catherine says:

      OMG. JUDY—what your husband did was better than any box of candy or any stuffed teddy bear. THAT is a lovely and thoughtful gift. I hope you have a fantastic and wonderful time with your mother. You have a real man there honey! XOXOXO!

  11. gk says:


  12. calensariel says:

    I had to stop and think what I’D say if someone asked me what I thought love was. I believe I would have said it was an action verb! 😀

    • Catherine says:

      Lady Calen–Lust is an action verb too. So is Fu–Oops! Almost said a naughty! Seriously, that’s why I love the John Mayer Song, Love is a Verb! So true!! XOXOXO!!

  13. Anne says:

    Catherine, I love your take on the world. Today, I especially related to your view on fixed price menus on Valentine’s Day. We always go out for dinner some day right after Valentine’s Day. That way, like you, we can order just what we want and also not have to pay the jacked up prices restaurants charge on Valentine’s Day with their special priced menus.

    But what I loved the most in today’s post was your reference to Forrest Gump and saying that if life really was a box of chocolates, you could spit the bad stuff out! Wouldn’t that be grand!

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Anne. I’m so glad that you “got” the gist of the post. The restaurant thing just bothers me to no end. We went out to dinner this past Thanksgiving in NYC, and although we had a lovely time with the kids, the price of the menu was ridiculous! And that Gump saying ALWAYS bothered me. Seriously, I have visions of people just like me who bite and spit every bad taste out–can you imagine walking down a city street and seeing tons of people spitting out the bad?????? XOXOXOXO!!!

  14. Bernadette says:

    Catherine, Your post is very funny but very true. We should never wait for a Hallmark Day to express our love. Everyday is not enough. Life can and does change in an instant.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Bernadette. Right??? There is some underlying truth in the humor. We need to pay more attention to the emotion of love because life does change instantly! XOXOXO!

  15. It’s really the commercial advantage of the Valentine thingy that gets to me, not the love part. I love to love. I am a die-hard romantic, but the cheesy business efforts of trying to tell people what they can eat, buy, wear, do, just sticks in my craw.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Jacqueline. It’s true the cheesiness and commercialism ruins it….and worse for me because I’m not a romantic person. I almost envy those who are romantics because they see the world so differently. LOL–I need to practice romanticism! XOXOXO!

  16. junedesilva says:

    I SO agree…as you will read if you look at my latest post!! 💕❤️

  17. BunKaryudo says:

    I agree with you about chocolate. With nuts? Great. With yucky stuff that my taste buds can’t quite comprehend? No, thanks.

  18. LosiLosLoco says:

    Excellent read. Love is a beautiful topic and you’ve captured it in the best way you know how Catherine. You kept me in stitches. I knew where to insert obligatory curses… 😉 But truly, I enjoyed reading this. 🙂

  19. Great post as usual! I’ve nominated you for a Sunshine Blogger award, but don’t feel you have to pay it forward if that is not your thing, or you have been nominated before. Your blog is always a fun place to drop in and I am just spreading the word!

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