I’ll admit. I’ve been eating like a slovenly pig for the past few months. The stress of working in retail hell had me doing the emotional eating thing. You know the kind of eating I’m talking about. You get all worked up emotionally and go to the fridge and grab anything that hits your eye. It is usually luncheon meat and cheese. A lot of cheese.
That’s right. Plastic ham and plastic processed cheese food. Sometimes I don’t even bother to unwrap that plastic!
Then you make your way over to the freezer and start rummaging through the bowels of the stacks of frozen food items and find that year-old, half-eaten carton of ice cream. It has gunk and freezer burn. And you don’t care. Or perhaps it’s the bags of chocolate chips you purposely placed in the freezer so you wouldn’t eat them. But you eat them frozen anyway.
And if there is no year-old ice cream, pre-frozen dollops of whipped cream will always make your emotions feel so much better. Yes. I DO this. I pre-freeze dollops of whipped cream!
I’ll also (s)lovenly fill my already expanding belly on white AND chocolate chips from the freezer. They are quite tasty after sitting upon frozen meat!
With emotions still riding high, you make your way to the pantry and take out a box. YES. A BOX. Of macaroni and proceed to cook the entire box and slather it in butter and salt and pepper.
And when you are done eating, you don’t feel an emotional rescue has taken place. Instead you feel bloated and disgusting.
And then the pendulum swings. When the kids were visiting over the weekend, it was a food fest. I baked cookies. I baked a flourless chocolate cake to celebrate Oona and Roman’s birthdays. (As if the omission of flour was going to make this dense chocolate cake any healthier!)
Flourless chocolate cake. It IS gluten-free! And look at the pre-frozen dollops with raspberries! A healthy alternative. I don’t quite KNOW what that alternative is…
I made four pounds of chicken for this Vietnamese Lemongrass Chicken. There was nothing left..
Lots of aperitifs. Lots of wine. Lots of fun. It wreaked havoc on my body. It was a different kind of emotional eating. It was happy feasting!
Yeah. After a few aperitifs, I was a bit “fuzzy” and took out the “good” stuff in error. Oh well. Fun times!
And another bottle of Margaux. Bonaparte opened it in Oona’s honor!
Ad it didn’t stop there. I took ’em out for some day drinking and brunch at Iron Hill Brewery.
Bad mom never fails. Some beer tasting (of which I did not partake. I was driving.)…and
My very first fish taco. Where has this BEEN all my life???
…and the ever-favorite, fried calamari!
I’m serious here. Two years ago my size 6 pants were becoming snug. Now my size 10 pants are a bit tight around the bum and thighs. My ass got fat. I can tell when it widens because my bottom takes on a kind of squarish shape around the hips. The roundness goes on a vacation somewhere under the fat.
I forgot to add, the three of us had lunch last Friday at Shake Shake. I had a “Shroom Burger and it was divine!
I need to get my round back! And I seriously need to drop 25 pounds.
So I had to do something about it. In the past I’ve written about my gluten-free diets, my 21-Day Fix Diet (that lasted for less than 24 hours), my green shakes and any other change to make my eating habits better. Nothing worked.
These are the portion-controlled bins that your food goes into. You eat like this for 21 days. My 21-day fix lasted for 8 hours.
And as I write this, I want to tell you that two nights ago, I pulled the cyber trigger and joined Weight Watchers Online program. It is near impossible to find a meeting in the area where I live. Either the meetings are during the day time or they are at some place that is just not feasible for me to drive to. A few years ago Weight Watchers had a great location in King of Prussia, and I lost about 22 pounds. But I made sure that I attended meetings diligently. I don’t know why Weight Watchers decided to close that location.
But anyway, I’m back on the program. I wouldn’t have joined had I not received a really friendly email from Weight Watchers inviting me to come back. For a fee no less. It was also the last evening of the “special” price on their online program so I rejoined.
Yes. I rejoined. I’m a lifetime member, but I’ll have to pay until I get to my lifetime goal. And only then will I be able to attend meetings for free. I don’t think Lifetime warrants a freebie for online.
Luckily I found trackers in my vast “collection” of Weight Watchers stuff!
And the point system has changed. I can eat more points per day, but I’m sticking to the old and lower points on this.
Ugh. I can look at this two ways. The first way is that I’ve been a complete failure in the past with this program because I lose then I gain. Then I lose. Then I gain. Then I lose. Then I gain.
Lifetime Membership Pocket Guide from way long ago…
But—I’m looking at it in a different light. I’m a success. And I’m a success because I’ve make Lifetime membership three different times. I just need to do it right this time.
Lifetime membership from 2012!
I’ll tell you. Unless you’ve never struggled with eating for comfort, you just don’t know what it’s like. I admire those who just aren’t fazed by their emotions. And I’m especially admirable of those who don’t become hungry when their emotions take over.
Non-lifetime membership pocket guide. I have ’em all!!!
Hey. I’m actually ahead of the game a bit because my massive hair loss has to be at least a two-pound loss! And I have the support of Bonaparte too. I told him that I can only have ONE aperitif each weekend evening. I’m using my extra points well!
I’ll be eating more sprouts of Brussels…
….and liver. Hey. Don’t judge. I LOVE liver–and poached in a bit of chicken broth it is tender and tasty.
And the job—it’s working out quite well. The days go by quickly because there is a ton of work to do. The people are respectful and nice to work with. It is a very healthy work environment. (I’ll be covering more about that this weekend! Stay tuned…)
And. Hopefully I will reach my goal by the end of November because……….
That’s right! We’ll be at this theatre. Funny but in all the years I’ve been in Paris, I’ve never noticed this theatre!
We are going back to Paris! We will be attending an Avant-premiere at The Rex theatre the new film “Demain Tout Commence”, a film written and directed by Bonaparte’s cousin, Hugo Gelin.
Bonaparte’s cousin, Hugo, with “Demain Tout Commence” stars Clemence Poesy (who was great in Gossip Girl) and Omar Sy! I’m so happy Hugo is wearing a NY Yankees cap!
I need to fit back into my small-assed pants and get my flaneur on!!
Do you ever look to food as an emotional rescue? I think Mick Jagger does!
You can do it!! I am probably a Weight Watchers lifer as well. I have struggled with my weight since I was 12 or wait maybe less. I think weight watchers (though not perfect) is probably the most practical weight loss program out there. I finally got my weight under control at about 50+ bu the stress of caring for the parents has let mine creep up. Keep me posted…I need to do same!!!
Hi Cindy. I’m glad that you commented because it seems that so many of us DO have struggles with weight and those struggles are from challenges that we are faced with. I think I’ll start a weekly post about the progress of this WW journey it’ll be a fun way to support each other!!! XOXOXOXO Big hugs to you!!
I know this is kind of missing the point of your post, but could we get your recipe for your Vietnamese Lemongrass chicken? It looks really good….
But also good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best.
Ann: Here’s the link to the recipe. I found this online and this is the one I use.
Now–you will notice in the photo there are no peanuts. That’s because I serve them separately because Bonaparte can’t eat them. I also add a bit of coconut milk to make it creamy. I ALSO use a ton more lemongrass than is called for. I found lemongrass in a tube and it is fantastic. It is, hands down, one of the best recipes I’ve ever found AND everyone loves it!!!! Enjoy! XOXOXOXO!!!
Thank you so much for the recipe. And again, best of luck!
If you look in the dictionary under stress eater you will see my picture.
Hi Bernadette. Oh…No! MY photo is there as well!! XOXOXOXO!!!
If you are looking for some inspiration to keep on track with WW one of my favourite bloggers ‘hostess of the humble bungalow’ has just started back with them and will keep you company on the journey, she also has a terrific blog that I’m sure you will enjoy. Good luck.
Love Cindy F
Hi Cindy! I’m going to head off to the humble bungalow later today and pay a visit!!! Thanks for the heads up!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
WW IS a good map! Go Girl
Thanks Julia. Yeah. It’s worked in the past so I’m back on “track”!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Oh Catherine, I’m so sorry about the weight going up and up with that comfort eating. You can do it I’m sure with Weight Watchers, as it’s that group support you need. And you’ll hate me as when I’m emotional and/or anxious I can’t eat. My stomach goes into quite painful cramps, I feel sick and go ‘off’ eating altogether! But don’t think I’ve got a perfect figure as I have quite a flabby tummy and am quite worried about wearing a bikini in the Carribean next year. You, meanwhile, looked totally wonderful wearing your bikini this summer – so although you might have put on a few pounds you have a great body and don’t forget that 😀 xxxxxxxx
Thanks Penny!! Oh…I’ll still wear a bikini for sure! I’m just too “frugal” to go out and purchase a new wardrobe so I need to get back into those smaller clothes!! LOL!! Thank you for a truly nice comment. I’m happy to have you as a friend! XOXOXOXO!!!
I am so with you on the comfort eating, I have spent this year piling on the pounds due to an ongoing family problem. I had worked my way slowly and determinedly down from “way too much” to “still too much” and was heading for “a bit much” weight. Then emotional stuff blew up around Christmas and here I am still eating – how dumb is that? I have put back a stone and a half (20 pounds) of the two and a half stone I lost (36 or so), I really need to kick this nonsense which is easier said than done, so I am back on the WLR which is an online British site which is fantastic – you log your food, your exercise, they don’t push any products there are great forums/boards and it has worked for me in the past. Anyway I think your post was another brave and honest posting and I am sure (again) lots of us identify with what you have said – so if you’re starting, I am starting too, we can tackle this together
Juliet. Whoa. I started last year around November and haven’t stopped. I do believe we are in the same boat. I definitely think we can do this together. I commented to another friend that I am thinking about posting a weekly weight loss write up. Are you along?? It’ll be great support for those of us who need it. I know I do!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!
Count me in, I am on a weekend in Iceland and despite stuffing my face, hopefully lumbering after the husband as he gallops full speed towards another geothermal thingy has to count for something!
OMG stress eating is my constant companion! I’m doing better than I was, but I need to really pay attention. My niece who lives in Baltimore has also challenged me to cover 100 miles walking/biking/whatever by Halloween, so we’re trying that together.
We can all do this!
Bridget. I have a hard time with 100 steps! God bless you for making that goal! But you know what? We will be in this together!! And we won’t be eating all that candy for Halloween because we will be “HallowLean”!! XOXOXO!!!
Glad to know I’m not the only one who will hit up the bag of chocolate chips when nothing else seems to be in the cupboard.
I’ve been using the LoseIt app to track my food…even has a scanner to scan barcodes which makes it easy!!! 😄
LInda. I just found out that the WW app has a scanner too. I’m excited about going grocery shopping tomorrow after work! Yeah. I still didn’t muster up enough courage to trash those chips. I figure in another six months they’ll have enough freezer burn to make them inedible. LOL..but that won’t stop me!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I have the dark chocolate chips…know what I did with mine?! I froze some bananas….put them in a blender with some peanut butter and some chocolate chips…blended that till it was kinda creamy…then refrozen it and it makes a kind of mock ‘ice cream’ 😊
Linda. I’m keeping that recipe. I have the powdered peanut butter that has less fat. Oh I likey! XOXOXOXO!!!
Just started following you recently, and I see we have a lot in common…I have the same set of WW books, Lifetime since 1982…now my goal weight is about 30 lbs more and still I’m about 10 lbs over! I make myself weigh in every week, or I could quickly turn that 10 lbs into 20, and then who knows! Good luck to you!
Hi Julie! Oh do I wish we were neighbors. We could discuss our WW books, our lifetime membership and what we didn’t do–or DID do that made us get off track! You’ll lose that ten pounds because starting next Friday, I’m doing a once-a-week post about the journey! We’re all going on the trip! XOOXOXOXO!!!
Here’s my confession. Started logging what I eat at myfitnesspal.com, worked out with a trainer in a small group for 2 months faithfully, and tracked a minimum of 10,000 steps daily on my Fitbit. Lost 17 lbs, hitting my goal weight. Bought new clothes, donated many that became too big. As you know, I live in southwest FL where I have year round friends but also many seasonal friends. I hit this goal weight in April. My winter friends bid me farewell for the summer heaping me with praise on how good I look and what a great job I did. My thoughts at that point were yay me, so glad that’s over. I quit frequenting my Y, ate whatever I wanted all summer and am .3 lbs away from having gained it all back. Every. Last. Pound. New clothes won’t fit, fat clothes gone. Winter friends will mostly be back by end of October. I can’t face the mirror. And them, well, I just can’t even! Any plans you have to post along without others what you’re eating, doing daily, I so want in! Please. What do I do? Where do I go? Today’s my birthday. Cocktails, dinner out, and cake. But I can start tomorrow.
JEAN! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Know that we are all in the same boat and I’m thrilled that I wrote about this. We’re our own community here girlfriend. I’ve thought it over and I am going to TRY my best to write a weekly post. I think Friday will be a great day beginning next week. And due to work, I’ll write the post on Thursday nights and publish it on Friday mornings. We can all get together in the comments to support each other. Doing it on a Monday would be awful because weekends are special and we tend to indulge a bit–even if we are watching our weight.
Seriously. I hate looking in the mirror sometimes too–but I have to face it and come to terms that I put on some el bees. I’m sure–NO. I’m positive some of your winter buds have gained weight too. We’re gonna be in this together! Start your plan of action. I’m going food shopping tomorrow evening and am going to pick out appropriate foods. Gimme a hug. I’m giving you a huge hug and a big sloppy kiss! XOXOXOXO!!!
That should have read “with others”
OK, I’m in…kicking and pouting, perhaps…but in. Truth be told, I read your post last night while eating a (small) cup of ice cream…Yes, I’m in. Thanks. 🙂
LOL…Doodle. Start chewing that gum you made. If you are a true Lawn Guylind girl you can snap that gum and snap those calories away. Damn you are good. I would have eaten the entire carton!! XOXOXO!!!
I so feel everyone’s pain. Been there, done it all, many times. My new plan: a mind shift to releasing the weight rather than losing it, because whatever I lost in the past I always managed to find again. Plus, I am trying Fast-5, since I have found that WW causes me to fixate on food constantly. Since I’m sort of an all-or-nothing person, I find it easier to go without than to focus on every morsel of food. Good luck to us all!
Ohhhhhhhhhh..Sherrie (Why am I thinking of Steve Perry singing right now?), I LOVE that thought process. “Releasing” the weight. That should be our mantra. It’s amazing at how we’ve all lost and gained and repeat and repeat. We are going to have fun with this!! XOXOXOXO!!!
I think I went into shock when I read “fish taco.” To me is such a contradiction in terms! I’m not sure what I read after than. I do remember Weight Watchers, though. 😀
Lady Calen. Why do you think it took me so long to finally EAT one of those? But I’ll tell you it was epic greatness and I won’t be eating them for a long, long time!!! XOXOXO!!!
I have put on 6 kilos since entering land of the free ( but not fat free). Loving all the original “dude food” – it was a huge trend happening in hipster Sydney about 3 years ago and has become entrenched – but over indulged here especially drinking hard liquor consistently which I haven’t done since the 70’s. . Back home I got on the band wagon and made my son fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, refried beans etc. (Enjoyed researching for authentic recipes and the controversy about whether to soak in buttermilk or not, or if you should add mustard to the cheese sauce etc.) So I am now back on “no carbs” and have been to an exercise class – first time ever in my life. Great incentive to push on Catherine is the trip to Paris for a family film opening which is just amazing. Did you ever read “French Women Don’t Get Fat”. It was really popular in Australia. I am going to New York for Christmas and that is my incentive. Again – music choice – spot on.
Hi Yvonne! Mac and Cheese. Don’t. Don’t even mention it. M & C is one of my favorite comfort foods of all time. I could, if depressed enough, eat a five pound pan of it. I’m not kidding. It is required in our home that I make my macaroni and three cheese every Christmas as a side dish. It’s gone within hours. I won’t be eating it anytime soon. That Paris trip is my incentive. Oh. I READ “French Women Don’t Get Fat” and living with a Frenchman, I can tell you that they are all thin because they don’t snack, they don’t eat processed and they smoke! But, over the years, we’ve noticed that the younger generation of French women are a bit meatier than their elders! Blame the American fast food joints that are popping up! NY at Christmas time is great! You will have an absolute blast!!!!!XOXOXOXO!!!
Hi, Catherine! I absolutely love your outlook and sense of humor. I am a self-diagnosed emotional eater to the max! In college I drove through Taco Bell over.. and over… and over when I was stressed about finals. When I broke up with my boyfriend, I ate an entire jumbo pack of Oreos watching Sex and the City (don’t judge haha). It’s been years since I overcame that emotional-binging struggle, but I remember the urges like it was yesterday.
You have absolutely got this, Catherine! Seeking out community and accountability is an amazing step toward your goal! I’m not super familiar with the inner workings of Weight Watchers, but I’m sure you will be a huge success. When you have someone actively on your side, caring about your results, it makes a huge difference in achieving your goals.
Just make sure you work on keeping that balance… life is never all or nothing. If it was, it would just be “nothing” all the time. If you take a stumble, just keep walking forward like it never happened. Or if you feel like you’re about to lose it, give yourself permission to take a break so you can keep going. You’ll get there for sure.
The best of luck to you, and have an amazing time in Paris! <3
Jamianne–thank you so very much for your encouraging words. Oh god. Taco Bell is the only fast food place that I truly love. I’ve done some serious emo binging there. I can’t even keep Oreos in the house. I’m not kidding. A half gallon of milk and a box of Oreos and I’m in overdrive! I get exactly what you are saying. I’m hoping that my journey will be productive. The worst part isn’t willpower but is lack of patience. It took almost two years to gain weight and I need to realize that! Thank you again so very much. Oh. Paris is my favorite city next to NYC–I’m so comfortable there and am definitely looking forward to the return!! XOXOXOXO!!!