Last week I wrote a blog post based around the language that the president of these United States used. Here’s a link to the post in case you didn’t see it: I Am A Shitholer
This wasn’t written as a “political” post. It was merely written because the language used was horrible language for a president to use. He used this language to describe countries and a continent. And it seems that we are normalizing this vile behavior.
Really??? A World Leader using that kind of vocab? Not cool. Not cool at all.
My post also went on to discuss immigrants and how we can all trace our roots back to countries that could be described, at one time or another, as the word the president used.
My immigrant grandmother. Now SHE was the epitome of fierce and empowerment!!
I shared the post I wrote on a “women’s” Facebook Group that I belong to. It is a group where bloggers and non-bloggers can “meet” and “discuss”. This group pontificates being “Fierce” and that “Women need to have a voice” and the group is all about empowerment. It is also targeted for the mature woman—the “over 40” woman.
My post was deleted—it offended a few “members”-two of whom aren’t even bloggers.
Now—before I go any further with this post, I want it to be known that the creator of the group was very supportive of my post. She “got” it. She realized that the post was, in fact, about the language the president used.
And a few of the members were also supportive of my blog post. However, the ones that weren’t really started to throw some major snark toward me.
Yes. You DO fight–especially when someone speaks up about important issues!
Rather than take the liberty of just scrolling past my post, they took it upon themselves to throw shade and name call. Among the names I was called were “liberal”, “racist” and I was told that I was basically a “white woman pandering to non-whites”. When I shot back, I was labeled “mean spirited”. Seriously. To name call is bad—but to call me a “liberal” is off-the-charts nasty. I’m a humanist!
A short time later I received a phone call from the creator of this group to let me know that my post was deleted. She explained that although she understood where my post was coming from, the administrators of the group wanted the post off—because political and religious posts should not be discussed in the group. Mind you now, others turned this language-based post into a political one. Not me.
And to tell you the truth, I thought it was very kind of her to call me. She didn’t have to do that. And I truly believe she felt bad taking the post down. She’s a very nice woman.
After mulling it over, a few days later, I decided to leave the group. I did it in a silent manner. I didn’t go onto the Facebook page and act all victimized and hurt and trauma-ridden with “I’m leaving, I’m done, blah, blah, blah….”. I merely clicked “unjoin” or “unfollow”—whatever it is. And went on my merry way!
Thankfully there was no door to hit me on the way out!!!
That group gave me the opportunity to meet a handful of women bloggers who are great writers and I continue to enjoy their blogs—they brighten my day. But it would be unethical for me, and I would not be true to my beliefs, if I stayed in a group that refers to themselves as “fierce” and “having a voice” if that real voice cannot be said or heard. Ain’t my thing.
And this whole incident made me think—do women really want empowerment? Do they really want a voice? Do they want to discuss harsh words that a president uses? Do they care about others—or do they only pretend to care? Do they only want the smoke and mirrors and the illusion of a perfect lifestyle and perfection all the way around?
..if you don’t talk about makeup and fashion!
And that’s what it’s all about. Women can be empowered only if other women decide it’s okay and how they can be empowered. We women are our own worst enemies and the mean girls grow into mean women!
Red heels and stilettos are empowering.
These are my red empowerment shoes.
Women who discuss politics are not empowering.
My political icon Rachel Maddow. She speaks her mind–but will women like high school Rachel better than the Rachel of today? I mean–will they find high school Rachel more fierce? I like short-haired Rachel!
Makeup is fierce.
Hey–with my face all made up and my fake hair. I. Am. Fierce.
To speak your mind is not fierce.
This is Frances Farmer. She was a very liberal and outspoken actor. She spoke her mind. She empowered herself and was lobotomized.
Those who follow this blog know that I speak my mind. You know what I’m passionate about. You also are well-aware that I live for my fake hair, my fake tan, my love of makeup and pointy-toed, cleavage-baring heels. You also know that if J. Crew was a real person, I would be married to him—in my dreams.
A fierce woman can never have enough fake hair…
..or fake tan–even if it’s applied badly!
I also love my overabundance of clothes and love to share my style tips with you. It’s a lot of fun!
Hey…check out my style! I’m the empowering style icon!
Hey Girl! Don’t go away!! I’ll even tell you what bra to buy! Now THAT’s fierce!
My home is my castle—and it isn’t grandiose, nor is it ridiculously huge—it’s the empty-nest chateau that my Frenchman and I built together. And I love sharing my home with you.
Come–sit down and we’ll discuss important things. Like can I wear pink with red?
My travels? I’m blessed and damned lucky. Going to France with Bonaparte is always a fun adventure.
My favorite little alcove in Antibes! I love the casual life!!
I’m a happy little clam when my grown kids come home to visit! I still relish in being “mom”!!!
Our infamous Philly Cheese steak competition..
That’s right. I’m the cool mom! I’m out standing in my field!
As I write this, I’ve got two pound cakes in the oven for my husband’s pleasure. And when those cakes are baked, I’ll be making gougeres to put away in the freezer so we can enjoy them on the weekends with our aperitifs. My cooking skills are fierce!
One cake for the rest of this week. One is now in the freezer for next week! I can’t have any because I’m still TRYING to be good and eat healthier!
I don’t need a group to validate my fierceness or empowerment. I can empower myself. I can be free to speak my mind–about any issues while still retaining my most feminine self! And, I don’t need to answer to anyone but me!
I want to thank each and every one of you who enjoy my voice. Sometimes you disagree with me—and that’s fine because you never punch below the belt.
Here’s a vase of flowers to thank you for always allowing me to speak my mind!
In this little community of Atypical60, we always agree to disagree. We keep our differences kind and respectful. I’ve even had readers reach out to me via e-mail to tell me I went too far—and in the end, we iron it all out.
So that’s about it for my little rant. I love my blog—its my baby! I love you. I try to keep things light—but every now and then, I’ll get a bit passionate about certain subjects and certain people. It’s because I have a voice—and so do you!!
But lately, I’m wondering just what do women want? Especially the mature woman. They claim empowerment and fierceness and speak of having your own voice–but sadly, that isn’t true. I suppose the mature woman is as deeply shallow as her younger counterparts!
Let me go—I’m working on a very important blog post about putting my face on!!! I think you’ll love it!!
In the meantime, here’s a little song from way back. Do you remember the song “Make Your Own Kind of Music” by the fierce and empowering Cass Elliot? Well, I do—and I’ll keep marching to the beat of my own drum and I hope you do too!!!
Thank you for your support and for being a part of this blog!! XXOXOXO!!!