The Mother-Of-The Bride Dress Saga Continues or, I Don’t Get Mad. I Get Even

With Oona’s wedding four months away, it was kindly suggested to me that perhaps I needed to get off my butt and start looking for a dress!

Bitmoji Image

Oh..and might I add that after watching what I’m eating BEFORE the wedding, I’ll eat her entire wedding cake the day OF the wedding!

Now, you know how I feel about “Mother-of-the-Bride” dresses.  They are beyond ugly.  They are downright “fugly”.  I’ve written about this in the past and trust me, things haven’t changed.  Click to read:  Why Are Mother-of-the-Bride Dresses so Freaking Ugly?

The rag trade continues to visualize mothers of brides (and grooms) to be frumpy, matronly and completely void of any style.

No.  Dusty Rose is not a flattering color and  even on the much-younger model, the dress is wearing her.  Not a good look!

My objective was to find a short dress that would suffice for my daughter’s wedding.  In my mind, I had a vision.  Very Audrey Hepburn, 1960’s with a bit of Jackie Kennedy thrown in.  Oona mentioned that maybe a long dress would be more fitting of the occasion because her bridesmaids are wearing long dresses and her dress is more on the formal side of bridal attire.

Mommy’s stubborn. I knew that somewhere out there was a dress for me.

I even went as far to order a dress from  I found an Alfred Sung dress and when I showed my daughter, her reaction was that it was better left for the rehearsal dinner.  Don’t get me wrong—she liked the dress but felt it was a bit too…………………………basic for her wedding.

This is the dress I purchased from  The one I ordered is black and I’ve heard the dresses run small so I’ll be sure to count WW points!

No big deal because in October I’ll be attending the wedding of one of her friends and I can wear the dress I ordered. (And by then I’ll finally fit into the dress if it runs small!)

The online search was getting me a bit stressed to say the least and so, I marked this Saturday off to search for a dress.

Now, on Friday night Bonaparte and I attended a performance of the Opera, Don Giovanni, in Philly.  We got home at midnight and, well—you know the Frenchman…he insisted on sitting down to aperitifs and a store-bought roast chicken dinner. At midnight!  Since it’s Lent, I was concerned about eating meat on Friday, but I realized that after midnight is actually the next day!  And so, I considered the drinks and chicken to be my early Saturday breakfast!  By the time we went to bed it was almost two in the morning.

This version of Don Giovanni was chock-full of talent but the costuming left much to be desired! I want full-on traditional Mozart costumes!

And I woke up at 7 AM.  Giving me approximately five hours of sleep.

My first inclination was to just roll back under the covers and sleep for another three hours.  Then I realized that I needed to start that dress search because it could take a massive amount of time and weekends!

tired jet lag GIF

Yeah. I just wanted to stay in bed–but I had a mission!!!!

I prepared well.  Into my large tote bag, I placed two wigs.  Yes.  I need the right hair to match the right dress!  Also packed into the tote was a pair of three-inch heels.  Since there will be plenty of standing before the shoes come off, it was a pragmatic choice. Next item into the tote—padded bra inserts to assist in making my titties stand at attention if need be.  And last of the essentials was shapewear in the form of long-line panties.

Mother-of-the-Bride shopping essentials:  Additional hair, pointy-toed heels, shapewear and bra inserts!

And it all fit nicely into my tote bag!

As this was to be a serious mission, I wore very comfortable jeans, a white button-down shirt, a navy blazer and Converse low-top sneakers.  My makeup was perfect for this task and I chose a wig that could be worn in an updo.

Comfort is key!!  I’m NOT wearing heels to traipse around the mall!

With Bonaparte in tow (the poor man thought I was nuts for carrying so many essentials), we were off to the King of Prussia Mall!

Many women have told me they lucked out at Nordstrom so I was feeling very positive and excited that a dress would be found there.  We arrived just a few minutes after the store opened, and I knew my chances could be great to have an expert sales assistant assist me.

First stop–Nordstrom! I was so excited and anxious at the same time!  Would I find my dress?

That was not to be.

The “Special Occasion” dress area is located on the second floor.  We headed there first.  Bonaparte found a seat because he assumed, he would be sitting for a while as I looked around.  Already, the department was lively with many women around my age perusing the racks.  I found a sales assistant, a woman of mature age, and I felt confident.

As I approached her, I said my obligatory “Excuse me…but…” followed by “do you have Mother-of-the-Bride dresses that aren’t as frumpy and matronly as the ones on the floor?”  “Or do you have any Alfred Sung dresses?”

After looking at the likes of dresses like THIS at Nordstrom, I was justified in my choice of wording to the “Mature” woman sales associate!

After she figuratively threw darts at me, she curtly replied “No” and turned around and walked away. Perhaps it was my assertive approach and my absolute honesty about the inventory that made her not want anything to do with me.

That’s pretty-much the look I received when I asked if there were any “nice” and “up-t0-date” Mother-of-the-Bride dresses!

But—as a mother-of-the-bride, it is my duty and, I owe it to my daughter, to get a nice dress.  People remember two things at weddings.  The beauty of the bride, and, if the Mother-of-the-Bride has a hideous dress—they remember that as well!  The objective is to not take anything away from the bride and that means not wearing a dress so matronly, so awful, so unstylish that it does take away from the bride because, trust me—people will be noticing the ugly dress more!

And here’s a sampling of washed-out dresses for the MOB! 

Another woman who was standing close by started to laugh and told me that “…. you won’t find anything here!”  “I’m in the same boat as you are”. And she laughed again.

Not only is this shapeless but the sleeves are absolutely atrocious to the mature woman who’s arms may have become a bit flabby!  Who designs this anyway????

Now here’s the thing. And what I’m about to write does not apply to all sales assistants. Please—if you work in retail, realize that I’m only speaking about a small percentage—ok?  I’m not a fan of many “mature” sales assistants.  A number of them are what I, and some of my ex-coworkers from Nordstrom, used to call “sharks”.  They are out for one thing and one thing only—commission.  Their job is to move inventory at a cost that is beneficial to them.  They will find the ugliest, priciest dress in the department, insist you try it on and tell you that it is YOU!  Meanwhile, you are thinking you wouldn’t even put your worst enemy in the dress.

That woman checking out the dresses is the one who had a good chuckle at my inquiry.  The dress on the right–are you kidding me?  They only human to look fabulous in brown was Ronald Reagan. OK?

This type of sales assistant avoids customers who know what they want, are aware of their body shape, and have specific tastes.  Basically, the sharks of the retail business aren’t fond the knowing customer.  That makes it difficult for me to get the assistance I need, when in reality, there are times when a little assistance can help.  Remember this for later on in the post!

Beware the retail sharks!  They will hunt the vulnerable customer down and sell you anything to make commission!

After a quick look-see at the rest of the department, I was so disgusted because the sales woman lied by telling me they didn’t have Alfred Sung dresses.  These dresses are in the Wedding Suite at Nordstrom.  And so are bridesmaids’ dresses.  She  didn’t even suggest  that I even try looking at The Wedding Suite.  It’s this lack of customer service that leaves me wondering why Nordstrom pontificates on great customer service when, in fact, it is severely lacking in some circumstances.

Though not my personal style, this is closer to what a MOB dress should look like–and Nordstrom has dresses like this in the store’s Wedding Suite.  I should have gone there but I was just too disgusted.

As we left, I suggested we head to Lord & Taylor.  I’ve always heard that the store had great dresses and I hadn’t shopped in that store in a dogs age.  By this time, I was experiencing full-blown MOB anxiety.  I felt bad because I wished my daughter was with me, I was upset at the lack of help and selection at Nordstrom and I started to tear up.  Thank God I had my husband to remind me we had only been looking for a half hour!

Lord and Taylor.  It was high time to revisit!

As we approached the cocktail/mother-of-bride/special occasion dress department of Lord and Taylor, my spirits lifted.  The selection was stellar!  Short dresses, long dresses, fancy dresses, fancier dresses all sorts and I was hopeful.

Then it happened.  I headed up to the department’s cash register.  There were not one, not two, not three, but there were four sales assistants.  All women around my age (gee—what a surprise).

And when I asked about Alfred Sung, kind of Jackie Kennedy mother-of-the-bride dresses, shorter length dresses for the mother, three of the women ignored me and one gave me the once over and said.  “We have nothing like that.”  She then turned her back on me and proceeded to talk to another sales assistant.


Oh honey, the same can be said for some sales associates!

Is it me?  Was it the fact I was in jeans and ultra-cool Converse low tops with a J. Crew Schoolboy blazer that turned these women off to me?  Was it my nasal, Long Island/NYC Borough Girl accent that disgusted them?  Perhaps it was my crossed eyes or the fact I speak loudly that may have seem as though I had the plague.

..or perhaps the sales associates thought I was a working girl if you know what I mean….

Whatever the reason, I was now two-for-two with the mature lady sales assistants.  I would have fared better getting assistance by a college co-ed at Forever 21!

The saving grace?  Lord & Taylor’s spectacular selection!  Honestly, the choices were overwhelming—and in a rather underwhelming category of dresses, this was good.  Oh yes—this was very good!

I headed to a dressing room lugging my tote bag of essentials and about a dozen dresses.  With no help from a mature sales assistant, mind you.  Absolutely. No. Help!

Once inside the dressing room, I took my clothes off, changed into my shapewear, decided to change my hair and put my Sage wig on and hit the dresses.

…and a change of footwear and hair!

Let’s take a little peek at a few of the dresses I tried on.

This sheath dress by Guess. I absolutely loved it.  The 8 fit beautifully.  It had stretch, making it comfy to be on the dance floor.  Bonaparte liked it but wasn’t bowled over.  Thank God for cell phones because I took a pic and sent it to Oona.  She was “meh”.  I kept it in the “maybe” pile.

I stinking LOVE this dress!  I can’t help it.  The fit, the cut of the dress–everything–and I’m not a “lace” person but this dress….

There’s nothing about this dress I don’t love! But is it Mother-of-the-Bride kind?

Next dress was by Eliza J.  Neon Pink!  I picked up a size 10 because there were no 8’s and it was large in the bust area. Nonetheless, I loved the dress.  The drawback was the fabric.  Oona’s wedding is in July and the polyester fabric was very heavy.  My husband really liked this one too. Oona really did but said that the color was too loud.  Then I realized she was correct because her bridesmaid’s dresses aren’t a bright color.  Gotta think of the photos.  She asked if the same dress was available in a muted color.  It wasn’t.

What would I tailor on this dress?  The length. I would cut one inch off the hem to make it perfect!

A small slit and a one-shoulder cut.  Out of my normal range of style but I loved this!!

The size 10 was just a bit large in the wasn’t a good thing when I bent over!

Next dress was a great frock which I really loved.  A knit top attached to a Dupioni skirt.  It was fun and flirty.  This was the one I had to go up two sizes and it was still a bit tight.  WTF is with the inconsistency in sizing anyway?

I. Love. This. Dress.

The “issue” with this dress?  It was too short.  At first, it didn’t seem that short, but when I bent over to test, I bent over in front of Bonaparte.  He said “NON!”  it was inappropriate for the wedding especially since I would be spending a good amount of time on the dance floor!

From a distance you can see that it is a bit too short for a MOB.  But it’s more about bending down when a dress is that flouncy at the skirt.  

Still, I think this makes a lovely party or date night dress!

Next up, a Fit n’ Flare deep blue dress with silver embellishments.  The 8 didn’t even zip up past me waist. Neither did the 10 or the 12.  Inconsistent sizing is not good for the ego.  That dress went in the “never” pile!

On the hanger, this dress had great potential–but the sizing was ridiculous!

Just for ha-ha’s, I selected two long dresses to try on.  Oona kept hinting around that a longer dress would be preferred. But in all honesty, I’m just not a long-dress person.

Regardless, I tried a black and gold-embellished number on and adored it. In fact, when I left the dressing room to show the husband, a woman came up to me to compliment me on how great the dress looked.  And still, no sales assistants approached me!  But customers did!

Another dress I absolutely loved and so did Oona.  Bonaparte hated it. 

Look!  I’m Angelina Jolie!  

Unfortunately, the top was huge–which meant sizing down!  Was this THE dress?

This was the dress that was too large.  Bonaparte didn’t like it because he said it made me look older—even with the slit!  It was daughter-approved and I had to find it in a smaller size.

The next dress was one that I figured nobody would like because it was just way too simple.  A Calvin Klein.  And it was the simplicity that drew me to it.  A long dress—surprise!  A high neck but sleeveless and a slim cut.  A built-in bra because the back was low—but still, very simple.

Basic.  Simple. Calvin Klein.  And this dress fit perfectly…

The back of this dress is beautiful–all that’s needed is a fake tan!  You can see the woman who took my photo.  She was going crazy over the dress!

Overall–a gorgeous dress and fit–but is it worthy of MOB status?

When I walked out of the dressing room, two more customers approached me to comment that this dress was absolutely stunning.  One of the women actually asked me if I wanted her to snap a pic –which she did and she also gave suggestions for jewelry!  And still—not one sales assistant approached me!

Oona thought the dress very simple—and I reminded her that the day belongs to her and not me. I would rather blend than stand out!

As I headed out of the dressing room to put a couple of the dresses away (Yes. I’m also that customer who puts clothing away. I may be loud and demanding but I’m obsessive about hanging the clothing back and putting it in its proper place), I passed to of the sales assistants who didn’t help me.  They were deep in conversation.

Then it happened.

One of the assistants turned around to say that the dress looked absolutely gorgeous on me.  I thanked her profusely then went in for the kill.  After thanking her I said …”and no thanks to you. All of you refused to help me when I asked for it.”

Hey—I call it like I see it.

Allow me to reiterate.  Nobody deserves to be ignored.  If a customer needs assistance, and the S/A’s are busy, it’s only normal and polite to wait your turn. I understand that. If the S/A’s are not busy then they shouldn’t hover around the cash register—they should be out on the floor.

I’m not going to tell you if I purchased a dress specifically for the wedding.  (I want it to be a surprise and the search continues) However, I did make a purchase of a dress that I could use.   And I did not purchase the dress in the department I was in.  I went elsewhere.

When the cashier told me that I could pay in the dress department, a can of worms was opened.  Without going into further detail, I explained why I was at her register.  She, Linda, being of sound mind and a pro at customer service, called the store manager over.

The outcome?  I was able to air my grievances to the manager.  And trust me, I also mentioned that Lord & Taylor has a great selection of dresses—especially for the mother of the bride or groom.

Ravi, the Lord & Taylor store manager.  He was very much the listener–which I appreciate and Linda knows her customer service!  Might I suggest looking for her if you are ever in the King of Prussia Lord & Taylor and need assistance!

I highly recommend going to Lord & Taylor’s online site to check out the selection of their dresses because it’s excellent and the in-store selection doesn’t fail.  Even better is that Ravi, the store manager explained to me that they are expanding on these dresses!  Smart move for Lord and Taylor—especially given that there’s a larger variety of “pro-aging” dresses that other stores lack.

Look—some of you may think I was overreacting and being a total ba-zitch. But I want to stress a point about customer service. These days more and more retailers are suffering the effects of online shopping.   It’s easier for those who don’t want to travel to a store.  It’s easier for those who work weekdays and are too spent to shop in the evenings and weekends.

Then there are those who want to see the goods first-hand.  Those are the ones who do in-store shopping.  And the more sales assistants (NOT ALL—JUST A PERCENTAGE) judge customers, or become picky about who they assist, the more customers will be drawn to online shopping.

And so, I don’t get mad—I get even.  Nobody in the dress department received commission on my purchase.

And it is a big mistake to ignore customers and not assist them.  I realize there are horrible customers out there but for the most part–all they want is to be treated fairly.

Tell me your thoughts.  Please.  Do you think I was being too much?  Have you ever been ignored by a sales assistant—and a mature one at that?  I’m really curious!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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61 Responses to The Mother-Of-The Bride Dress Saga Continues or, I Don’t Get Mad. I Get Even

  1. Judy says:

    Oh Catherine, I laughed so much while reading that! Of course you did exactly the right thing. If store assistants aren’t doing their job then they need to be told. I am surprised they don’t realise their jobs are now in jeopardy unless they up their personal service. And serve the snooty ladies right that you didn’t buy anything from them.. I couldn’t believe the awfulness of some of the dresses hanging, but you did look great in some of the ones you tried on. Love the fuchsia one, and the top of the one that was too short was a perfect top for you, and the gorgeous Calvin Klein black one at the end. I don’t think I would wear that to my daughter’s wedding but it is fabulous. Looking forward to seeing THE dress on the day! xx

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Judy! Thank you so much for your support on this!! Yeah. The s/a jobs are in great jeopardy simply because online shopping is putting them out to pasture. And since SOME of them seemingly don’t care–it looks like they will be losing a job if they don’t hop to it.
      OMG. Listen to me, I sound like such a bitch but I’m sorry-not-sorry. It’s about respect and if you can’t respect the customer you need to find another line of work! Ugh. I can’t believe that Nordstrom has such horrible frocks. It’s time to find another buyer!!!! XOXOXOXO

  2. margaret daley says:

    try TJ online too…

  3. Diane Flemming says:

    This was my chuckle for the day. You are ABSOLUTELY correct. I wouldn’t wear any of those dresses from Nordstrom if I was GRANDMOTHER of the bride. I used to work part-time in my friend’s bridal shop and she prided herself on her customer service. I agree that women “of a certain age” (us) are often invisible, but we’re the ones with the $$$. Sales people make a BIG mistake ignoring us. Especially, those who are in our age group. Keep fighting for what you believe in. Also, from my experience working in the bridal business, as my friend would say, “go with the man’s opinion of the dress”. I can’t wait to see what dress you finally choose.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Diane. LOL. I wouldn’t put my GREAT GRANDMOTHER in any of the Nordstrom rags. The buyer from the Special Occasion Dept. needs to be canned. OTOH, the buyer from Lord & Taylor knows their stuff! You’re so correct though WHEN will S’A”s and everyone else realize our demographic is the $$$ one! SMH, SMH!!! XOXOXOXO

  4. Momcat says:

    You called it sister!! I had this happen to me at LuLulemon one time. I was looking for yoga pants when the SA ( whip thin, blonde ) looked me up and down and announced LOUDLY that she was afraid I wouldn’t find anything in the store that would FIT me, had I tried WALMART? My answer was to calmly take her aside ( SHE was the manager!!) and tell her that I had never been treated to such rudeness in a retail store before, that I believed the company policy was to support ALL women and not make a point of humiliating them in public and that yes, I would contact the head office with a complaint. Which I did but never heard back but..I told every woman I know what happened and several of them never went back…my neighbour who lives in LULU yoga pants ( and has the enviable well gymed body to wear them) started buying her yp’s at Costco and says they are way better. That’s where I buy mine now too!! It’s important to escalate shit like this to a manager or store owner…bricks and mortar retail is suffering enough. They want my hard earned money then they will be polite and offer the service they are getting paid to provide.
    On another note have you checked out a business called eShakti dresses? on FB it’s eShakti. It pops up on my FB feed and the dresses are semi custom. You pick the style, length, material and they make it. They had a dress like the short dupioni with the knit top but you can order it as a midi or cocktail length and have it shortened later. Check it out. My son is getting married in November but in our living room so less formal but I like the dresses they offer and may order one for summer just to see.
    Good luck on your search and keep yer dukes up!!!!

    • Sandra says:

      Good for you!

    • Catherine says:

      Hey Momcat! Surprisingly–and this is a hoot. I just ordered a dress from eshakti and it was a dupe for that knit top/dupioni bottom! We’ll see how it turns out!
      Eff Lululemon. I had a similar experience at the Lululemon store in King Of Prussia mall some years back. All I can say to that is I hope every Lululemon S/A and manager who treats women who aren’t of eating-disorder weight, that they gain weight in their mature years a hundredfold. Yeah. Revenge is sweet!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

  5. Gee, you actually wanted service? What an antiquated thought. I’ve had the best service on line! To be honest I have had some good service at Nordstroms. But to be honest it’s rare. Then again if you were in the makeup department at Neiman, they’d be all over you. Show us your undergarment. Is it comfortable when you wear it? I would not wear black or a dark color as MUB. I wound up having a dress made. It actually was a Silver pongee I think with an Asian flare to it. I’ve got to go look at the photos. I can no longer fit into it. Then again I think I lost 10 pounds preparing for the wedding. Anyway, I’ve had better luck looking on line for dresses, shoes etc. Good luck.

    • Catherine says:

      LOL Sandy–I am so naive to think I would receive service–but I was surprised at the lack thereof at Nordstrom! She didn’t even suggest the Wedding Suite! Now I know why online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. You have to post a photo of that Pongee dress–I would love to see it!! The list of items grows–shoes, a bag, and HAIR!!!! XXOXOXOXO

  6. Anne says:


    For both my daughters’ weddings, I purchased a bridesmaid’s dress and had a long sleeve jacket and a 3/4 sleeve jacket made for them. I am overweight and have flappy arms so wanted a jacket. Both were outside weddings, too, so I needed the jacket for comfort. I actually bought a bridesmaid dress from David’s bridal for one of the weddings and then purchased 3 more of that same dress in the largest size. I then sewed my own jacket using the material from those extra dresses, sizing up the pattern for my size and making a trial jacket in cheap fabric. The jacket turned out beautiful!

    I certainly know what you mean about those butt ugly mother of the bride dresses! But bridesmaids dresses are so much more youthful and you have a range of colors to choose from.

    Good luck with your continued hunt. You definitely want to look and feel great at your daughter’s wedding!


    • Catherine says:

      OMG. Anne! Oona and I were texting each other about Davids. That store is next on my list and is about 15 minutes from where I live. I remember when my daughter was in high school she found the BEST dress ever at David’s for Junior prom! I’ve always been a fan of the store!!! XOXOXOXOX

      • Anne says:

        Good luck at David’s!

      • Cheryl says:

        Loved this post! I jumped right on to David’s Bridal website just for fun and the bridesmaid dresses there are truly gorgeous. I think your daughter is spot on with wanting full length, and I’m betting you’ll find a HOT mama-of-the-bride dress there. Can’t wait to see your choice on the next post!

  7. Contemplating the more vile of the ordeal, the hideous frocks or the vulgar associates 🧐!

    Crimanitky, YES you conducted yourself in proper social deportment. Diplomacy & tact trumps immature ranting & raving or throwing a hissy fit. Stating your displeasure to the GM showed class. (I have walked out of too many shops with a curt “Thank you for your generous attention & esteemed opinion.” to uncaring associates who’ve studiously ignored me.)

    p.s. Loved your smile & spirit in both the fuchsia frill & the black sinuous pieces. Both brought out an Art Deco vibe in your presence! Excited to hear the next chapters.

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks for your support in this Bev! Yeah. The GM at Lord & Taylor was great. He listened and I made it a point to tell him that I LOVED the selection at the store. I also made it a point to let him know that my mother (RIP) was a huge fan of L & T. What I found daunting was the fact that I was ignored–and that isn’t acceptable. Had just one of those women approached me to see if I needed help, I would have said no but give me your name because I’ll make sure I go to you when I want to be rung up. It’s incredible. I will call anyone out on that and if I seem like a b*tch so be it! XOXOXOXOX

  8. nancybaten1966 says:

    I used to train people in our clothing stores how to sell an help women. I hate it when I am being ignored and need help. I normally say something about it or ask for the manager. I’m very bitchy about that! I hoped you bought the long gold and black dress.

    • Catherine says:

      LOL. Nancy–you will find out which dress I went with!! Nobody wants to be ignored and I’ll tell you despite the large amount of great sales associates, the small percentage of sharks are ruining it for everyone! Online shopping is popular for a reason and retailers need to take note of that!! XOXOXOXO

  9. Debe says:

    Honey you were not rude, I just went to buy a new car and no one approached me. I went to another dealership and git one then drive back and asked to speak to the manager. He was not happy esp when I told him I paid cash and showed him the paperwork.

    Sweetie the last person you want to piss off from a customer service perspective is me. Your money spends anywhere.

    The dealership was lucky the last person who pissed me off a house fell on them!


    • Catherine says:

      Debe! You are a woman after my own heart! I swear I would have done the same thing–be still my heart!!! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXO

  10. Leah says:

    I wish I could think of the right reply at the moment to rudeness. Usually I get mad later and stew over what I should have said. I am making a resolution, right now, to be more direct, like you did. Sally’s beauty supply near me is the worst. They lost my business.

    • Leah says:

      By the way, both long dresses looked gorgeous on you. the lace shorter dress could be a staple in your wardrobe that would never go out of style, it was absolutely beautiful on you!

    • Catherine says:

      Leah. My husband was shocked and happy at the same time that I was rather…………assertive in my words but he also thought I went over the line. I don’t. I stand my ground and will not tolerate rudeness toward me! Sally by me is pretty decent! One of the workers is a hoot because she’s crazy but great crazy!! XOXOXOXO

  11. Denise Conlow says:

    You are absolutely right !! I’ve been a customer service representative for many years. Not in retail but that doesn’t matter because it’s all about the customer. It’s my job to be concerned and help in any way possible. The problem is, people are only working for a paycheck. They dont care about performing their jobs. It really is a shame.

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Denise! I appreciate your comment. It’s so weird because quality customer service these days seems to be fading. I’m not asking for s/a’s to fawn all over me and follow me, all I’m asking for is a bit of assistance and asking if I need help. Chances are I don’t need help but just ask. It’s so daunting!!! XOXOXXO

  12. Renee in Northern California says:

    I visualized myself in a dressing room needing another size…then having to re-dress half haphazardly, barefoot, purse slung over my shoulder, leaving my coat behind (and other belongings) going back to the floor frantically searching on the racks while the sales folks ignore me! Ladies, how many times have we experienced that!?! Errgh!!! Makes my blood boil!! Catherine, good for you for informing them about their lack of service….ya did it for WOMAN KIND!! THANK YOU!! Anyway, awesome dresses at Lord & Taylor and you rocked them!! Seriously, can’t believe what Nordstrom is trying to sell, ugh, ugh, ugh!!

    • Catherine says:

      Hey Renee! Basicaly, that’s the visual. The husband was out on the floor in a comfy chair holding my wallet–I was able to leave all my “stuff” in the dressing room while I went out to the floor with each outfit. And the funny thing was……………….nobody seemed to be helping ANY of the women who were using the dressing rooms. Tells me the S/A’s aren’t even needed! And I do it for the women of the world!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXO

  13. Sharon says:

    Loved reading this, I feel united with you and your other readers…it is so frustrating to be ignored. It used to happen to me in furniture stores but as I got older I guess they decided I could actually make a purchase without my husbands now associates are all over me..the worst experience in a clothing store was and still is Chico’s it’s as if I’m invisible….I rarely shop there as I think there clothes are overpriced and very matronly…J Crew and J Crew Factory are the best…so friendly and check in to see if you need different sizes…
    The long black dress looked fabulous on you and I wore a long black dress to my daughters wedding and loved it…when you look back in a few years you will still love your choice..classic and timeless…

    • Catherine says:

      Sharon!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you! We both had that Chico’s experience. I swear to you I was in Chico’s over a year ago–I was THE ONLY CUSTOMER in the store and I was completely ignored. My thinking was that I was dressed in J. Crew so the S/A’s at Chico’s knew my taste was better than Chico’s. You are sooooooooooo correct–the store’s inventory IS both overpriced and very matronly. I can’t understand how Chico’s is so popular! And………………when we left Lord & Taylor, we hopped into J. Crew. Naturally, I was greeted so nicely as I always am…and at J. Crew Factory, one of the S/A’s and I have each other’s phone numbers and emails!! We are on the same page sister!!! XOXOXOXOXO

    • Sandy says:

      Chico’s have looked at me from head to toe before deciding to assist. And they usually don’t. Can’t stand that store. Nothing but snobs.

      • Catherine says:

        Oh Sandy! Oh Sandy! HIGH FIVE GIRLFRIEND! And they have NOTHING to be snobby about. Let’s get that straight! The clothing in that store makes Eileen Fisher clothing look slutty–that’s how awful Chico’s is!! XOXOXOXOXO

  14. Babette says:

    Hey Catherine:
    I don’t want any help from sales associates when I shop. I prefer to just do my own thing and not have them hover over me. However, if I did need assistance, I would certainly not want them lounging around, ignoring the customers. I think you looked great in all those dresses. Loved, Loved, LOVED that black lace one.

    I really enjoy your YouTube channel as well. You are a hoot! 😄

    • Catherine says:

      Babette–you know, under normal circumstances, I don’t like help. But in this case, I wanted to find out what was available and just needed a bit of assistance. For instance, I needed a larger size in two dresses and with no help, I had to go out to the floor get more dresses and that drove me nuts! But no one deserves to be ignored!! Hey–I’m glad you like the YouTube channel!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO

  15. I vote for that navy online dress – simple but classic!

  16. amyhochreitercoaching says:

    I loved the pictures of dresses on the first article. How relevant. Went through the same challenges for my daughter’s wedding five years ago. Dave’s was a bust for me, all matronly looking. I wonder why they think we are our parents generation – still! I searched some of the smaller dress shops that have more unique clothes and the sales staff was helpful and of course anxious to make the commission. I finally found a Chaps dress from Kohls on line and loved it. Simple, long, sleeveless dress (100s in AZ in June). Have you thought about taking one of those classic designs to a dressmaker? There may be someone able to sew your dress easily and you would have exactly what you wanted.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Amy! Thank you—Ohhhhhhhhhh the stress of finding a dress! I never thought to check Kohl’s out but for ha’ha’s, I just ordered a custom dress from the site Eshakti–as a trial to see how the dress turns out!!! XOXOXOXOXO

  17. Melanie says:

    Sorry to hear about this experience. If you really want a treat, book a personal shopper at Nordstrom – free service. They BRING dress suggestions to you and water and even food – at least the one in Vancouver did. And I didn’t feel pressure at all. Great dresses! I’m glad you found one.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Melanie. The manager at L & T also told me about the store’s personal shopper and from now on–I’m going that route. I should have done that at Nordstrom! XOXOXOXO

  18. Your writing is awesome. By reading your blog I got mixed up emotions 🙂
    You definitely find a right choice :-)!

  19. Carole says:

    OMG! You make me laugh and good luck. I do know one thing, you will look amazing for sure!!!

  20. Ohh, baby, quality customer service these days at Mall ???huh.
    Try Ralph’s or Saks5….or French connection.

  21. Catherine, I work in retail and I couldn’t agree more. The whole point of a sales clerk, besides ringing up the purchase is to be available to HELP the customer. That may be as simple as smiling and asking if they need help or suggestions, or actually helping them find what they are looking for. Four sales clerks and not one of them, chose to help you!! That is wrong and I would have spoken with the manager as well. Sales clerks who serve customers in that manner should no longer be employed. Nuff said! Can’t wait to see what you pick out for your dress!! – Amy

    • Catherine says:

      HI Ames!! Thank you for validating my thoughts. I’m telling you, all any of them had to do was merely smileIat me and ask if I was doing alright and it would have made a world of difference! It’s great to see so many supportive responses–but it also says something about the state of retail as we know it!! XOXOXOXO

  22. Juliet says:

    Oh my word – those bad dresses are hysterical, I’m sorry but they are actually hilarious (seriously brown??? I guess if it was some sort of passive aggressive thing turning up in brown to a wedding of a child you didn’t want to see marrying themself off.. I mean BROWN!!!!). I totally get you with calling out the bad service, I think you did exactly the right thing as you also called out the GOOD service, that is so important (and Ravi looks adorable). If only you could whisk yourself up and off to Paris, but you WILL find the perfect dress/es – you always do, your posse have total faith in you – so don’t worry, we know you got this .

    • Juliet says:

      …and I have to tell you a funny story of about a year ago – daughter and I were in a posh shop in Glasgow hunting for the tiny chiilds bachelors graduation outfit, I picked out what I thought was quite a pretty dress for her to try and a snarky S/A wafting past said “Oh I dont think thats quite your size…” to which the tiny, elegant daughter swept if out of my paws and back on to the hanger and glared at her with “and not YOURS either”… as she marched me out of the shop. The woman looked mortified but I was too busy giggling (bad), the thing is the daughter looks adorable – she is a tiny elfin creature and very elegant so people fawn over her in a shop. We havent been back to that place – the daughter has banned me 🙂 Even when we wander past she gives them the death-stare

  23. vavashagwell says:

    I think you did the right thing, those people didn’t deserve any sort of commission. Have you thought about going to a seamstress and getting a dress made? That’s what I think I would do. That way it would fit perfectly, the fabric would be ultimate and high quality, and it would be your own unique creation. (and probably made better than anything off-the-rack).

  24. Margaret says:

    I think you handled the situation perfectly and I also speak up when I’m treated like that. What idiots these people are in light of the current retail atmosphere! Maybe they’re looking to get fired so they can collect unemployment. My daughter and I were ignored 10 years ago when we stepped inside a Toyota dealership and every sales person, young and old and including a few women, walked right past us. I had to ask the receptionist to get one for us, a young man who obviously couldn’t be bothered. After a few minutes of his nonsense I asked to test drive the car and he told me to wait outside. Then the janitor came out with the keys and said there weren’t any sales people available. I took the test drive, then went to the manager’s office and told him what happened and that we loved the car but would be buying it from another dealership, and letting everyone we know about what happened there. And that’s exactly what we did.

    All of those dresses look wonderful on you, my favorite being the Alfred Sung. I think it would even look great made longer and in a different fabric too because it has such a timeless design. Glad to hear about the selection at L&T, I’ll have to check them out when I start my search. Good luck with the rest of the wedding planning!

  25. Sandy says:

    Kuddos to you! My first MOB dress I loved. The second MOB dress I hated. I had it cleaned after the affair and never went back to pick it up. It was MATRONLY and so wrong for me. Sales clerk didn’t care, a sale was a sale.

    • Catherine says:

      Sandy. I can’t even with the dresses from Nordstrom. Did you see those diahrrhea-brown dresses? I rest my case and hand Nordstrom’s a diaper!!! XOXOXOXOXO

  26. Liz McGarru says:

    I love the short black lace Guess dress… lively and fun and the long, plain black Calvin Klein…very Audrey Hepburn.
    The only thing I hate more than being ignored by a sales person is being hounded by one who follows me around as if I’m a shoplifter…😡

    • Catherine says:

      *Whispers* I purchased the Guess dress! I’ll be wearing it to the rehearsal dinner! I love it soooooooooo much! LOL. I hear you about being followed around. Been there and ended up saying very loudly. I’m not stealing!!!!!!!!!XOXOXOXOXO

  27. Julie Martin says:

    I LOVED your MOB dress article I can relate. I am a future MOB (wedding this Saturday) and just turned 61…a hip (haha) 61. A size 8 or 10 dress. I am also a makeup artist so I scout out every MOB. My complaint is not so much the service (as there is no service these days because of centralized checkouts like Macy’s), but the dresses themselves. They are all mermaid styles or the opposite style of looking like sacks. To get the dress to fit around my middle (did I mention I have practiced yoga for 11 years), then it is too large across the bust. Ugh
    My search started months ago. In fact every computer in our house has been taken over by ads of MOB dresses. I liked many I saw “only on-li e” but could not bring myself to order any. I was hoping to find them in store. You just can’t trust the end result. The models are a size 2 and the fabric seems to change in transit. 🤨
    My three daughters (one being the bride) kept asking me, “have you found a dress yet?” My response…”don’t worry I will figure it out”.
    I SETTLED on a Eliza J long gown from Nordstrom’s. I am not 100% happy with it but have run out of time.
    It’s beautiful dress and I’m sure it’s going to work out all fine, but it’s not what I had envisioned in my head. I should have had one made a year ago when I found out the news.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Julie! Are your other daughters married? I ask because if this is your first daughter to get married, you know what to do for future reference. I’ll never have that MOB experience again. And I know I could have done so much better. Perhaps one of these days I’ll be the Mother-of-the-Groom. Seriously the customer service at Nordstrom was surprisingly horrific. It’s because all those sales assistants work on commission and in the “mature woman” area those “mature woman” sales assistants are sharks. I asked a S/A why Nordstrom had such hideous dresses for the MOB and she walked away from me. Yeah. King of Prussia Nordstrom. I used to work there and trust me, I worked in a great department and for great managers, but many other areas are just lacking. Don’t even mention Macy’s to me. Lord & Taylor was the best with their selection. It’s amazing how great an event like being a MOB is and how awful retail makes it! XXOXOXO

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