As much as I love animals, I don’t look to them to be my teacher or messenger. Therefore, my spirit animal is not an animal.
I have a reality show star to lead my delusions in the right path and to teach me…….and my spirit animal is…………
Patricia Altschul of Bravo’s Southern Charm!
My spirit animal—Patricia Altschul. She isn’t a Patti. She’s no Patsy either. She’s PATRICIA!! I must get that book…and those pink flamingos. I wanted some for my lawn but Bonaparte would not allow it!
If you’ve never watched the show (which I strongly suggest you start), it’s Bravo’s finest. The drama is exemplary. Old money. Old Southern Lineage. Men who are experiencing Peter Pan Syndrome. The women they hang with. Actually, the women are the hard workers on this show.
This is the cast of Season Six. WHERE’S PATRICIA?????? And the men pictured have zero ambition. Complete Peter Pans. I can’t even…but the drama is so delightfully addictive!
There’s also tons of booze on the show!
And the one character who makes it all worthwhile is producer Whitney Sudler Smith’s (he’s the only male on the show with an actual career) mother Patricia.
Producer Whitney Sudler Smith, the only male on Southern Charm with a career, and his mom, the fabulous Patricia Altschul!
Now. You are aware that I’m my own idol—which has nothing to do with narcissistic behavior. It’s just that I found my style and my many hair looks (with the aid of my wigs) that fit me.
And might I add that there’s nothing wrong with being your own idol. You should be the best you that you can be! And by the time you reach my age of 64, you’ve been around long enough to know yourself!
But there’s always room for admiration! And I admire this woman.
Why do I love and admire her so much? Well…it’s because she’s the ridiculously wealthy and very-much refined version of me. (If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you are well-versed in my delusions!) She speaks her mind and is a fantastic hostess and she’s a lady at all times!
My spirit animal Patricia Atchul and me. Our similarities are just so incredibly different! We’re practically twins!
It’s also because we’re so much alike and so different at the same time! I’m the Paupered princess to her Well-Monied princess!
I may be the Paupered Princess–but at least I’m dressed in natural organics and not polyester!
Anyway, let’s do some serious comparisons to our similar differences so that you can get a better understanding of how likely unlike each other we are–and I adore her so much. I wonder if she would feel the same way about me…hmmmmmm….
We both enjoy a good long dress at home to lounge in. She prefers Caftans while I have a penchant for the maxi dress!
Oh my. What an elegant at-home look!
….and I prefer the more laid back version of a Lilly Pulitzer maxi and Rondini sandals!
Both of us are moms! And our children all have sucessful careers!!
She’s a great mom to her son, Whitney..
I like to think I’m a great mom to my sons Jake and Roman……
And my daughter, Oona!
We both love fresh flowers!
Ohhhhhh…that arrangement of flowers is truly spectacular and most likely came from a very expensive florist!
Ummmm …I paid $20 for these flowers at Wegmans and they don’t even fill the vase…
But I’ve had these Walmart Poinsettias hanging out in my kitchen nook since December!!! I guess we are differently alike!
Patricia poses so elegantly with her dog!
How did the DailyMail photographer capture this moment? Treats? Or is Patricia’s Pug incredibly well-trained…
I am lucky if I get a photo of me with Chippy..and when I do, it certainly isn’t very elegant!
I tried to bribe Chippy from under the coffee table with treats…
He took the treats but wouldn’t budge. So I had to climb under the coffee table. OUCH! I banged my head. And the last thing I need is yet, ANOTHER head injury. People still don’t think I’ve recovered from the head injury I suffered in a bathtub fall years ago!
Finally! A portrait with Chippy! See..I told you Patricia and I are similarly different!
Patricia loves a good martini and she’s perfected it!
Yum Yum! A Dry Martini is so delightfully refreshing!
Am I classy enough for a martini?
I want a proper cocktail just like Patricia!
Ewwww. It’s too much for me. Oh well, I won’t be embarrassing my daughter at her wedding…
Oh wait! I’m lowbrow. I love me my Aperol Spritz’s. I wonder if I can get Patricia to drink my favorite aperitif!
Patricia’s son, Whitney, went to boarding school far away.
My boys traveled from far away too! From the way, upper Upper West Side–past Washington Heights to attend school at St. Ignatius Loyola on the Upper East Side. In NYC terms, that is as far as boarding school!
Jake’s first day of Kindergarten at St. Ignatius Loyola. That uniform still makes me so happy. The blazer and pants were purchased at Brooks Brothers and my sons still buy clothing at that store!
Patricia has a Butler to serve her!
Patricia’s butler, Michael is the MAN!!! And the younger male cast members can take a cue from Michael. He is employed. They ain’t!
I have my French husband, Bonaparte, to serve me! And he serves me well because he INSISTS on cleaning up after me because I’m blind in my right eye and can’t see the mess I’ve made. Case in point. Check out the counter behind him. I was baking. He was so obsessive that he cleaned it before he left for work!
My Parisien! When he gets upset with me he speaks in French. Doesn’t he realize that I understand every word he says??
Patricia loves a classic and tasteful LBD! And how about those gams?
Patrick McMullan==Photo – CLINT SPAULDING/ PatrickMcMullan.com====I, too love a LBD!
I got mine on sale at Banana Republic years ago. I can assure you that Ms. Patricia did NOT get her LBD at Banana Republic!
Patricia loves a great place setting!
My lottery goal is to afford the kind of China that Patricia has..
I also love fine China and a killer place setting!
My fancy China was purchased about 20 years ago at the Salvation Army Red, White, and Blue Store in Hamiton NJ. I got 60 pieces for $20..and it’s gold-plated!
But..my usual place settings are more on the casual side!
Patricia loves her white sofas…..
Again with a dog. WTF? Why can’t I get a good pose with Chippy?
So do I..and I’m especially fond of the white loveseat in my sunroom!
My Ikea Ektorp Loveseat!
See? It’s fun to have a person as a Spirit Animal! I look at the little “Patricia Altschul” inspired items in my home and can channel her!
These Mother-of-Pearl spears were given to me as a gift many years ago. I like to pick up olives with them and pop them into my mouth. It makes me feel very refined. And then if I drop an olive I usually drop the “f” bomb which is so absolutely vulgar and trashy. I’ll bet Patricia Altschul doesn’t have the gutter-mouth that I have!
Either way. We are both pro-aging women. And I’m sure that Patricia Altchul is her own icon too!
Two women. Completely different but similar. We’re both proagers and are both over a certain age! But…I’ll keep enjoying having Patricia Altschul as my Spirit Animal! As long as she doesn’t sue me!
Do you have a Spirit Animal? Is it human or an actual animal! I’m nosey!
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Southern Charm ………every stinking minute of the show ….
Jane. Ohhhhhhhhh this season is going to end up being a great one..especially if that low-life bitch Ashley the escort-gold-digging marriage ho returns. And T Rex…ugh. I’m glad he’s gone..but I’m not because the drama he adds is crazy. Now..other than Patricia, my favorite cast member is Kathryn Dennis. She was handed a bunch of really bad stuff and she’s finally managed to rise about it all. But Craig, Shep and Austin are like the Three Stooges..only the Three Stooges had better jobs! XOXOXOXOXO
Yesssss! So proud of Kathryn! Thomas just tortured that poor young thing, but she is a survivor. Happy she and Patricia are now besties. Can I say I am relieved that so many of your readers watch the show? I always felt a little guilty for loving it so much as a ‘mature’ woman. 😏 But we need a new code word for ‘Ashley’ as just seeing that name in print makes me upset.
Haaaaaaaa – hilarious post, I guess my spirit animal is probably either Edina or Patsys mum from Absolutely Fabulous. Edina because she is such a great pal and so tough and Patsys mum because she is unflappable – I admire either character 🙂 Patricia should be so lucky to ever hang out with you, I think we are all heading to your place to have a great time.
LOL! Juliet! This blog post…I swear I feel like I got my groove back. I feel my old self-depreciation sense of humor has returned and it is all thanks to my Spirit Animal Patricia!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Patsy’s mom is a riot and Edina…well, I do believe we all have a little bit of Edie in us. Don’t you????
I’m thrilled you enjoyed this post because I had a blast writing it! XOXOXOXO
Love Ab Fab too!
Me too!!!
Southern Charm is my absolute favorite show! You are so right those young men…boys really have zero ambition! So fun…Patricia certainly adds class and we all need Michael in our lives and tending bar! So glad others love Southern Charm as much as I do…Omg Ashley was such a tramp! Glad she is gone…she was so mean to Kathryn…totally un classy….
I need to figure out who my spirit animal is…hmmm something to ponder!
Have a great week!
Sharon from Dallas
Hi Sharon! OMG. Do NOT even get me started on TrAshley! She and TRex deserve each other. I’m always going to be pushing for Kathryn. She was handed a bad deck of cardOXO
Catherine – you are MY idol!!!!!
THANK YOU SUSAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOX
Love LOVE LOVE Southern Charm. So fun to watch; beautiful clothing, fabulous homes, Michael the Butler, Craig’s pillows (haha) Patricia’s amazing dinner parties, etc etc etc…I could go on and on and ………..on
Nancy..right??? The clothes. I wish I could afford to shop at Gwynn’s! That tramp Ashley was lucky to get those clothes. MICHAEL needs his own show!!! Will Craig ever get that pillow business rolling??? I would love to be invited to a Patricia party! XOXOXOXO
LOVE your blog. You are soooo refreshing and always make me smile and feel good about my age!!
Hi Dawn! Thank you so much for such a nice compliment! LOL–we should feel great about our age! XOXOXOCO
You need a caftan with pictures of Chippy on it…like the one Patricia is wearing with pug faces all over it!! When I started reading this I thought this was a real person until I realized it was a TV show….anyway it looks fun but probably not available in Canada.
Momcat! Oh. Patricia IS a real person. She’s part of that reality show Southern Charn. I’m not a caftan kinda girl though. LOL. Chippy is attached to my fake tanned legs!! XOXOXOXO
Oh my goodness, you are such a funny woman! You crack me up! And I am with you on the aperetive! Apperol Spritz it is!!
Thanks Nancy!!!! I could use one now!!!!! XOXOXOXO
You are so dang funny! I haven’t watched the show in awhile, never saw Patricia but I’d enjoy peaking into her lavish lifestyle! One of my best friends is all Louis Vuitton, Tory Burch, Gucci, and Lilly Pulitzer while I’m all Amazon, Banana Republic Outlet, and TJ Maxx!
xo,
Kellyann
Hi Kellyann. OMG. You HAVE to go bac to watching that show. It’s a hoot and the drama…Wow!!!!! Her lifestyle is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. I’m the same with you..and lately Amazon is coming through with some very decent clothing! XOXOXOXO
Ok, yes the guys are all Peter Pans, but I love that Shep is well read. He also uses correct grammar, and occasionally corrects someone’s grammar. Love it!
Patricia. Shep was definitely raised with a better education than many of them and his lineage is pretty darn good. But I wish he would just grow up!! He would make a fine husband and father. But he needs to man it up!!! XOXOXOXO
Actually, I admire that he knows what he wants from life and at this point it’s not a wife and kids. Know thyself, right? He’s living on his own terms. Maybe his lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but he seems to enjoy it. But if he wants to keep his lady-killer cred, he better watch his weight. He’s starting to get a little dough-boyish.
I have watched this show from day one and I love it…I think Chelsea is the most authentic of all the people on the show…I love looking at all Patricia’s stuff and I need a Michael in my life…martinis on demand!…
Hi Liz! I LOVE Chelsea. She’s got a house, she’s got the good looks, and she’s pragmatic. I’m so glad she kicked Austen to the curb. He’s a bozo. We all need a Michael!!! XOXOXOXO
That too is my favorite Bravo show! I can’t believe that Whitney’s dad (in that black and white photo) and Whitney look so much alike. I want to be Patricia when I grow up. I bet she never swears when she stubs her toe and I don’t even think she breaks a sweat in the southern heat. In addition, she has a servant, which makes me so jealous. Her quiet elegance is nearly impossible to find these days.
L, Southern Charm and Below Deck. I LOVE Captain Lee and Kate has grown on me. But you’re so right. Patricia woud NEVER use the filthy language I used when I broke my toe. With those martinis that Michael makes, she’s cool and refreshed!!! XOXOXOXO
Your memes are hilarious. I love your Chippy💜💜