It’s been a tough week at work. There’s a monthly project that I’ve taken on, and in all honesty—it’s the cause of frustration and stress. Nonetheless it has to be done.
My eyes. They burn. They hurt. I’m seeing triple! I’m so stressed!
And that’s what happened this past Thursday. And it rained. No! It freaking poured. Add to the rain, thanks to daylight saving time, the sky was dark when I left the office and my commute home was treacherous.
Add rain, darkness and glare to this mess. And me driving one mile an hour! But at least I had the Christmas music on!
I don’t even want to think about what those who were driving behind me were thinking because when driving around the bends and curves, I must’ve been going five miles an hour. Then there’s the glare from oncoming traffic (I have non-glare glasses. There’s still glare). And the bozos who drive at twilight with their damned brights on.
Yeah. This is me all bent out of shape because oncoming traffic lighting is too bright!
Suffice it to say, when I arrived home, I broke down in tears. Night driving is very challenging for me due to my horrific eyesight and I cannot change my work hours.
Let’s just say I wasn’t in the best of moods. And leave it at that.
It’s kind of a bitchy story…..
And so, I was too spent to sit downand write a blog post. I was too stressed to do much of anything.
All I wanted to do after dinner was to relax and watch a TV Show. A particular TV Show.
Ok. So I don’t have a reclining chair. But I did want to chill and watch TV!
I just wanted to watch “The Righteous Gemstones”!
After a taxing day and a horrific drive home, I can relax and have a good laugh by watching this show!
Earlier in the week, my daughter, Oona, called me to extol the greatness of this HBO series.
She said it was the funniest show ever and that Bonaparte would love it because it broaches the subject of religion. Now understand. Both of us were born Roman Catholic. I’m still very-much into my Catholic roots. Bonaparte is not.
As a Catholic, I’m not particularly fond of priests but the nuns…I love these women. Two of my aunts were nuns and The Sisters of Mercy taught me. I honestly love the nuns!
However, we are not fans of the religious extremists. Evangelicals top that list. Anyway, the description from HBO’s site is below:
You had me at John Goodman!
This comedy series tells the story of a world-famous televangelist family with a long tradition of deviance, greed and charitable work. John Goodman, Danny McBride, Edi Patterson, Adam Devine, Cassidy Freeman, Tony Cavalero, Tim Baltz and Greg Alan Williams star.
And the sons! Adam Devine from Pitch Perfect!!
The Father, The Sons, and the Holy Spirit! I’m blessing myself already!
This show is right up my comedic alley. And considering all the political garbage that I’m subjected to every night –a leader with no moral compass, I welcome a show that’ll make me laugh.
And music about the evils of Satan are included! I’m shook!
And as we settled upstairs in our comfy bed, me in my toasty pajamas nestled between Bonaparte and Chippy, I anticipated an evening of fun and laughs.
I was already smiling–but it was to be premature…
That did not happen.
What ensued, however, was an hour-and-a half of frustration, anger, cursing and threats to Verizon Fios and HBO!
That’s correct. My happiness quickly evolved into distorted frustration..
Remotes, yes, the plural. Remotes in hand, we headed to “On Demand.” First off, the Verizon Fios On Demand is challenging and a great pain-in-the-ass. The process to even get to the show you want takes at the least, fifteen minutes. And that’s when you know what you want!
And these are just the master bedroom remotes. There’s more downstairs and on the ground level of our home!
You have to press the “On Demand” button on the remote. And then you have to wait for On Demand to load.
On Demand. It should be renamed “On Anti-anxiety Meds”!
Then once there, you must choose a particular category. Sounds easy—right? Wrong because the friggin’ remote either jumps categories or a window for movies automatically pops up that you can exit out of.
Really? Trying to watch your damned TV show is giving ME anxiety flashes!
So, after about ten minutes, we reached the “Premium” channel category and started to peruse through the never-ending sea of offerings of the Home Box Office. When we finally found The Righteous Gemstones, all frustration was gone because, by now, both of us were eager to watch the first episode.
Thank you Jesus. I was finally going to see The Righteous Gemstones. Or was I?
And then the frustration really began to hit us. The series just ended it’s first season (it has been renewed for a second). With that, you would think this series would be readily available for viewing. Well……it is but you have to pay!
So wait. We gotta PAY to watch this? We already DO pay…
Yeah. PAY! We already pay over $100 a month for Verizon Fios and for HBO. And we’re supposed to pay extra to view this series? From a premium channel that we pay for from a provider we pay for?
Lots of naughty language from both of us. Me, cursing in English, and Bonaparte saying very naughty words in French came next.
Actions speak louder than words so I flip to bird to both Verizon Fios AND HBO. Actually I got loud too!
A few moments later Bonaparte’s eyes lit up. He reached for yet another remote. This time it was the Roku remote. I don’t even want to think about what he paid for the Roku service but he went through a series of clicks and another screen popped up.
WTF? Where’s HBO? Where’s HBO NOW and HBO GO! Gone to hell I suppose!
This time with “HBO NOW”. It occurred to me that we probably received HBO NOW with our monthly subscription. We did not. We tried entering passwords and usernames to no avail.
Truth. I want my HBO NOW!!!
Then I realized we must have HBO GO; a service provided to HBO Subscribers.
The problem lies therein that we couldn’t reach anyone from HBO or Verizon to help us. The wait was over a half hour.
It was at this time, I nearly ended up in a straight jacket. After a taxing day, all I wanted to do was watch a damned TV show to make me happy. I wanted to smile. I wanted belly laughs. I wanted entertainment.
All I wanted was to be comfy in my pj’s, watch a TV show and have a happy laugh!
Instead I went to sleep exhausted from anger and frustration. My hysteria fatigued me. Where my husband is the calm one, I’m the crazy person. And trust me, I went to sleep a madwoman!
Yes. I’m the crazy lady. Thank you Verizon and HBO for my insanity!
And that’s what frustrates me. Everything these days has a price. Subscribing to a cable provider isn’t enough. You need the premium channels. Subscribing to a premium channel isn’t enough. You need to pay more if you want to watch a newer show.
It’s all about the Benjamins. Mo’ money. A Cable subscription isn’t enough. A premium channel isn’t enough. They want more and I bring home less.
Network TV sucks. Comedies are contrived and way too politically correct for my taste. If you want something along the lines of Norman Lear, you need cable. Network TV is for those who are easily offended.
Maude. Where are you? Network TV needs you back. God’ll get you for that! Oh how I miss great network TV!
A simple evening at home is no longer simple if you want to watch TV. I’m better off reading a book.
Perhaps I need to read The Count of Monte Cristo again. After all, it was entertaining and juicy and full of revenge!
Is it these times we live in? Technology, as great as it is, can be daunting and frustrating and cause for high blood pressure. Even the simplest of things, like setting a clock in your car can be difficult. It isn’t just TV. One of my sisters sent me this video the other day. I’ll tell you, no matter how many times, Bonaparte and I watch this, we bowl over from laughing so hard.
It’s so stinking funny and rings so true at the same time. Here it is for your entertainment. And if you are easily offended by naughty language please do NOT watch this. He drops the “f” bomb so if you are offended, this isn’t for you. I’m giving you fair warning. If you can relate to the frustrations of remotes, electronics, digital items and so on, you will be laughing at this guy and at yourself. Here goes!
As I said before. I’m better off reading a book. A novel if you will and not a manual!