Okay. I’m going to get a bit “real” with this blog post. There’s a lot I have to say. So, grab a cup of coffee or tea. Or, depending on what time of day this is, grab a bottle glass of wine and curl up on your sofa to a decent read.
Curl up and read!!
Back in 2015 I started this blog. It was basically to keep my sanity whilst in between jobs. The company I worked for disbanded and I was in a slight panic. And, if you have been reading this blog, you know that it’s somewhat evolved from talking about my life into a sort of “Style” (trust me I use that word lightly because I’m no pro), Cooking, Makeup, Wig, …and basically a “Whatever” blog. January 12,th blog post 2015 for your reading pleasure
The first photo to ever appear in my blog. Me, Oona, Jake and Roman –and my photography skills have not improved since then!
My delusions were rife with hope that I would not have to return to an office job because I foolishly thought I would become an internet sensation for the “mature” group. After all, how many “mature”, in reality—old ladies have blogs and other social media accounts? Well..a lot of ‘em do!
And they have great little studios with great lighting and great cameras and even people to manage them. They use filters when reviewing makeup. And even when they tell you they don’t—trust me, they do. A number of these older women pose as though they are fashion models—the good thing about that is they are more delusional than I.
This will never be me. There’s too much stuff to crowd my house. My iPhone will have to do.
I’m nobody special. And I’m fine with that because over the years I realized something.
‘Tis true. The only person I’m special to is me, myself and I!
The majority of people do not want transparency nor do they want honesty. They want to see over-filtered faces with no texture. I’ve come to the conclusion that human beings prefer a filtered photograph of a face without a nose.
The fading nose. It’s the new beauty trend. Do we really need a nose anyway?
And while I realize that some noses aren’t all that attractive, we need them. We need them to breathe. We need them to use the sense of smell—to smell the scent of danger as well as the beautiful scents of flowers, fresh bread cooking, little baby heads and even puppy breath. Apparently, that’s all for naught.
Save this photograph for reference dear friends–because at the rate over-filtered selfies on social media are going, the nose will become extinct!
And in our present day of social media, from Instagram ads, to Facebook groups dedicated to everything from reselling luxury items to handmade goods, and TikTok videos. Social media is a huge part of the human comedy—or drama, or even of human bondage! But what bothers me the most is the lack of honesty among “creators”, “influencers” as well as cosmetics companies, skincare companies and clothing companies.
This SNL skit says it all. The glamorous dress. The basic long wavy hair do. The content creator!
It’s all about the disclosure and the dishonesty.
Let me put it this way. I love cosmetics—there’s no way around it. I simply cannot go a day without mascara or brow products or lipstick or gloss. On days when I want a little extra there’s CC Cream and foundation—running the gamut from extremely light to bare coverage or to full-on coverage when a wedding or special occasion calls me.
Yup! I need all of this so I don’t scare people away. Seriously. I love my makeup and skincare because it makes me look better and feel better!
And the thing is..I can no longer trust reviews on YouTube or Instagram because of the filters that creators/influencers are using. When I’m interested in a product, I want to see how it looks on textured skin. Skin with lines. Skin that’s sun damaged. Skin that is old!
YouTube, Instagram, TikTok…I can’t trust any influencers or creators–and this one is still in her 20’s and using filters!
Sadly, I have to rely on my own devices to try the products out because I no longer trust any social media creators nor do I trust cosmetics and skincare companies because they continue to send products to these people fully knowledgeable about the fact they filter.
The photo on the left-hand side shows how I looked in real life at my daughter’s wedding. On the right is how I looked with a FaceApp filter. As ridiculous as it is, many older women–especially those showcasing wigs are using this app and filter to completed de-age their faces. Even the fake hair looks more fake!
Which brings me to yet, another discussion regarding pro-aging. I’ve been on this bandwagon for years—since my fifties. And at the halfway point this very day (October 16th) to 68, it’s even more important to discuss this.
One of my Instagram followers sent me this photo from one of Jamie Lee Curtis’ posts. She’s a proponent of pro-aging. Now, usually I don’t put much stock in what celebrities have to do or say, but Curtis is a different kind of animal. I love her. I follow her on social media. She is herself and in no way is she at that “I’m-so-ashamed-of-aging” stage. She embraces aging. No fillers or surgery. Her short-cropped hair is a beautiful shade of gray and she’s happy to showcase her person as she is.
I simply adore Jame Lee Curtis. She’s aging so gracefully. She is what REAL LIFE aging looks like. She. is. greatness!
Take someone like Madonna. I’m constantly flummoxed as to why she cannot embrace aging? I honestly don’t know if her social media posts are meant to be a joke or if she’s serious. But it bothers me. She is a gifted, talented and iconic musical presence. She could, as Curtis does, embrace her age but yet, she doesn’t seem to want to. I must say though, no matter how many filters she uses, her hands give her mature age away.
It’s Madonna. THE Madonna. WTF is she doing this? She is in her 60’s. She should be more relatable to her demographic.
How beautiful is she in real life? Madonna is stunning! She’s gorgeous and THIS is how she should be showcasing herself!
But even young social media presences don’t seem to want to showcase their true age. Mikayla Nogueira is an internet sensation. She does makeup tutorials and reviews—on Instagram and TikTok. She’s all of 24 years old. And she filters the bejezus out of every post. It’s ridiculous. How on earth can someone look at the products she has plastered over her face when her skin texture is smooth as glass. And it’s a shame. It’s a shame because she has admitted to acne and skin issues. If she showcased how the products really worked, it would be not only beneficial, but also helpful to all those out there with the same sort of skin issues. She’s incredibly successful and has amassed a fortune in charging cosmetic and skincare companies to “advertise” their products.
She is incredibly talented with makeup. But the filters. For the love of God, she filters her face even without makeup. It’s disheartening and dishonest–especially for young women.
And what’s upsetting about that is the false advertising. Use a filter? You’re not being honest. The companies are not being honest. All to make a buck. The other upsetting thing is Ms. Nogueira is every girl. She really is, without her filters, she’s a normal, average 24-year-old. She’s cute and perky. And she knows her makeup stuff. So why hide who you are?
It’s disturbing because, as women, we need to be proponents of our bodies and our minds. We can’t allow ourselves to be set up for self-hatred. It starts at an early age. What about all these young girls who think they can use a product and be as beautiful as the perfect creators and influencers they see on the internet? These people also photoshop their bodies into thinness. What are these young girls thinking when they see this?
And let us not forget the impact the Kardashian family does have when it comes to advertising. Although I’m not a fan, I always thought Khloe was the most attractive of the sisters. But look at the left–she’s photoshopped her face to the point she does not resemble herself.
And what about older women? Jesus H. Christ! For any women over 50 who sees an over filtered visage on any social media platform then feels bad because of her own lines and wrinkles—that is sinful. And it should not be.
The woman on the left is beautiful and doesn’t need to filter her face. Seriously. She’s really stunning!
The woman on the right? She has texture! She used good lighting but she’s got texture. Her lips have normal lip lines. Thank you!!!!!!!!
Guess who’s wrinkled face is on the right? It’s an old Buzzfeed article.
Aging is a gift. Ask those who have lost a loved one at a young age and they will validate that. Aging isn’t pretty. Our faces and bodies are not the ones we had in our twenties. We sag, we drag, we’re lined and our features have faded. Our tummies are akin to cloudy marshmallows. Our feet are stiff in the morning. Some of us have difficulty walking down and up the stairs. Some of us fart when we walk fast while other get leaky pee-pee and need to wear special undergarments. Our teeth change. Our hearing is different. Our eyes don’t see as well.
But it’s ok! Put some makeup on (My favorite mature-friendly brands are Subtl Beauty, Trestique, Mob Beauty and Jones Road Beauty).
Wear the makeup–but let the wrinkles and freckles and age spots show through!
.
Better lighting. Darker wig. Same makeup!
Don a nice outfit for the day.
Maybe not this dressy but I’m attending a wedding this coming Friday so it was a new-dress-tryon!
And go strut your stuff. You deserve it!
Oh Catherine I LOVE you! Yeah, yeah, yeah!!!! What would we do without you? Thank you so much for this Xxx
Thank YOU Judy! OXOXOXOXOX
Catherine,
I love this post, your spot on! I am sick of seeing these over filtered faces..embrace your aging, or quit fooling yourself!
Hi Barb, And quite fooling others. There is a certain amount of gullibility out there–people believe what they see on the internet and there are women who think they will look as perfect as filtered photos. They are just wasting their money! XOXOXOXO
PREACH!!! Everything you say is true. The only mature woman blogger I read besides you is Susan after 60. Why do we need to look like duck lip expressionless automatons?? No way, sister! Real is good and I’m glad to be alive. Grey hair, big pores, and all. Another thing bloggers and creators do that pisses me off is push vitamins and weird medicines. You can do yourself harm with that stuff!!
Hi Susan. Thank you for the heads up on Susan After 60. I just this second subscribed to her blog. She looks like a natural and honest woman! Do. Not. Get. Me. Started. On. Those. Vitamins. and Supplements. I’m a huge believer in doctors administing medicines and supplements–not bloggers who are shilling mumbo jumbo and probably don’t even take them. My mother always said, if you eat enough vegetables you don’t need supplements. Her advice has been well taken. Thanks for bringing that up–you are so spot on! XOXOXOXO
You are beautiful!
Thank you Donna! XOXOXO
That was Madonna? I would have never, ever guessed. Such vanity! These filters, in my opinion, are empty gestures. They erase the living person hiding behind them. Congratulations Cathe for your real and liberating attitude toward life. I love the way you speak up!
Kyriaana. YES. That was Madonna. Can yoiu believe it? Vanity and narcissistic behavior. I was shocked when I saw that because she could absolutely be a driving force for aging instead she wants to remain relevant with the younger generation. It’s disappointing! XOXOXOXO
It’s certainly a strange new world. You are right to name the use of filters (and the rest) as dishonest, deluded and dangerous. And to my 82-year-old eyes, today’s unnatural concept of beauty in the female face seems, well, grotesque. Thanks for your own honesty.
HI Rachel, and thank you for appreciating my honesty. I have come to the conclusion that beauty is a fake illusion–and many of the cosmetics companies are to blame for going along with that filtered look. Did you know that in the UK cosmetics ads have to have a disclaimer that a filter was used? Too bad they don’t do it in the USA! XOXOXOXO
Mighty interesting. It’s all a bit much, right?
I have always loved your blog! You actually write about stuff! I started blogging last year (do you remember replying to my email about starting a blog). It’s a struggle to constantly come up with content, but I do it. I also have no problem with showing myself as I am. I don’t even know how to use a filter, and I absolutely hate apps! The only thing I do do (hahaha…I taught fourth grade for lots of years so excuse me) is make sure the photos I choose show my body to be a little slimmer (ok, a lot) than it is. I also have tried to figure out a way to pose without the daggone double and triple chins showing! In fact, I just posted about being honest when blogging! What irritates me about bloggers? I honestly don’t worry about them that much though I’ll readily admit I’d love for some companies to send me lots of free clothes! I did accept a brand ambassadorship for a couple of places. And, that’s all I’ll say about that for a couple of reasons! Keep up with the honesty, Catherine! It’s definitely needed. And, come visit if you want a laugh at a less than professional blog!!
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
Marsha–your blog is great! I love the layout and your content is wonderful!! I think showing ourselves as we are is the ultimate homage to ageing! XOXOXOXOXO
I love your attitude!
Thank you Donna! XOXOXO
I love your honesty!
This made me think of my experience in the 1970s when I worked in a New York store where all the top models came in to have their photographs printed on the (then new) color printing machines. I’d be stunned by how amazing they looked in the photos and how ordinary most looked in person!
OMG. That’s so true. Back in the ’70’s when I lived in the city I used to see top models all the time and they looked very ordinary compared to their photos. Nice–but plain. I think the prettiest one I’ saw was Andie McDowell. She was just a gorgeous without makeup as with it on! XOXOXO
Exactly what I needed to hear! And I agree with everything you said, thank you.
I love this, and I love your blog because you are real (and really beautiful).
Recently, I’ve seen un-curated photos of two ‘older women’ bloggers that I follow and I was disappointed because their appearance was quite different than it appears on their blogs, which are organized under the same idea – women are beautiful at any age. Well then, why not represent yourself as you really are?
Celebrities are another story altogether, and of course, go much further than only posting flattering photos of themselves from the right angle. I’m so glad that I didn’t grow up with the internet as I had little confidence in my appearance in my teens and early 20s…I cannot imagine what it would have been like with fake women everywhere I turned!
By the way, a comment on your previous blog: I’m completing the technical challenges of the current season of the Great British Bake Off, and just made laminated pastry for the first time (Paul’s Raisin Danish). There was butter leakage but, still so good! I had a lot of fun working with that dough and am going to be making more of it in the future (I think I’m going to put some in the freezer to prepare for holiday guests). I loved reading about your own croissant making and appreciate the bar mold idea…going to order that soon.
I totally agree with you Cathe. It’s so depressing to see over-filtered faces everywhere. It’s so ubiquitous, that when we see a 30 something yr old actress or celebrity on tv, for example, who’s not botoxed and filled to the brim, we see them as tired and worn out. Nearly everyone on the media is altered in one way or another, air-brushed, filtered and unreal. Thank you for standing out from the crowd, it helps so much with ‘National’ sanity! xoxox
Thank you Annie. And you bring up a great point. 30 is young. And people on Social Media are always calling these non-filtered women out–it’s bullying and sad. I, for one, would love to see what those people commenting look like in real life. People need to be honest with themselves and they can’t. My thing is, if you need to overfilter-then you shouldn’t be posting photos of yourself! XOXOXO
You made me giggle and that is a good thing. Thanks for telling the truth about aging. How refreshing.
You are most welcome Donna! XOXOXO
Wahoo! I’ve unsubscribed to several “filtered” women. I need real, gritty, women who embrace their age yet love to dress up and play with makeup to look our ever-lovin’ “I am over 70” natural best! I now choose to “follow” women who care more about social issues and uplifting and protecting other women in this country trying its damnedest to do otherwise. It’s ok to look one’s unfiltered best in the heat of this battle. Keep going, girl,
Missi , You made me smile. I’ve actually been “blocked” by a couple of the older filtered women because of my opposition to filtering. I can’t even watch wig reviews anymore because the heavy filtering distorts the texture and color of the wigs they review. It’s pathetic and sad!! XOXOXOXO
You don’t post often but when you do it’s worth the read. At least you take the time to provide REAL content and don’t insult your readers blog in and blog out by giving one paragraph and a f#&$ing list a yard long on where the latest ‘soldes’ are! I f I take the trouble to subscribe to a blog I want some real content to chew on. Honestly there are just three good blogs I get…the fourth is turning into a train wreck. She literally throws out a few sentences then a link dump($$$) and c’est tout! Oh maybe a photo or two, when I see her in my in box these days I am scrolling on.
Yeah the filters are a gimmick …to be honest I am getting tired of IG too. It’s a bit of a rabbit hole to the sewer. Life is too short to waste on social media.
Your blog is the only one I read these days because you cover a lot of very interesting subjects, this one in particular. I don’t wear makeup anymore, but I like to read about it for someone in age group. Aging truly is a gift.
Another hot topic for me is weight and body shapes. Our society seems so fixated on such things. I’m surprised there aren’t more people out there with eating disorders considering the number of Instagram and Tik Tok posts discussing bodies, particularly young women. When did this fixation on thinness begin? The Twiggy Era?? That’s what I want to know. (But then again, the Duchess of Windsor was quoted as saying you could never be too rich or too thin, so maybe it goes back further. Sadly that attitude continues today in the Windsor royal family, but I’ve digressed.) The fact of the matter is that our bodies change throughout our lives. The important thing is health, not the size of the garment these people are wearing. The moment for me was when some years back I ran into an old friend of mine while walking around a shopping center. Hadn’t seen him in many months. He had lost some weight and I thought he looked good. About a month later, I saw his photo in the local paper. It was in the obituary section, he had died of prostrate cancer a few days earlier. From that moment on, I never discuss weight with friends and I don’t comment on their bodies. Instead, I compliment them on their outfits/shoes or other things they are doing. That situation I described was a huge eye-opener for me. My friend didn’t make it to old age and that was a real tragedy.
Vava Thank you! And you are so spot on with your thoughts. I’m so glad that all I had to hide from Oona were fashion magazines. Had she been a teen today, I would have banned her from all social media simply because there is such a disgusting overtone to be thin. Influencers actually photoshop their bodies to appear thinner. It’s awful.
Princess Katherine needs to eat a big plate of pasta and wash it down with a greasy burger. She’s wayyyyyyyyyyy too thin.
Dont even get me started on bloggers from our demographic. I barely read them. They refuse to write about important issues and continue to shill shit from Chicos. Your story about your friend is very moving and telling–we really need to watch what we say about others’ weight. ! XOXOXOXO
Your comments, as alwlays, are spot on. I read your blog this morning right after seeing photos of 81 year old Martha Stewart with only an apron on! Good grief. What has the world come to? The recent photos of Madonna make her look like Megan Fox. The world is so strange anymore. Thank you for being so grounded! I love your world view!
HI Barbara, Ugh. The worst thing about that Martha-Stewart-Apron-Only photo and series of the photo is the fact it is filtered beyone reproach. And, although it isn’t all that revealing it’s just ridiculous. I would have had a bit more respect if she didn’t have the images filtered to the clouds. And Madonna. –I can’t even. It’s one thing to enjoy looking youthful but trying to relive your youth is foolish. I can’t even anymore!! XOXOXOXO
Catherine, totally unrelated to this post! I was late to the JCrew Jamie pant and only have one pair. 😞 EVERY TIME I wear them I want to cry. Have you discovered any similar pants? Thank you.
Hi Suzi, Head to Target. They have a couple of styles that are very similar to the Jamie Pant!! XOXOXOXO
Thank you! 🤞🏻🤞🏻
Cathe, think you may enjoy this. https://www.mcsweeneys.net/art…..ture-women
That one wont open here it is again. https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how-to-apply-no-makeup-makeup-a-guide-for-mature-women
I am trying again, as the one above will not open.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how-to-apply-no-makeup-makeup-a-guide-for-mature-women
Thank you, Catherine, for being so authentic and real. I always look forward to your posts because of your honesty and calling it as you see it. Like some of your ‘followers’, I have also unsubscribed from blogs that were presenting unreal images with the use of filters. I love the honesty of your photographs and the fact that you are happy in your own skin.
Enjoyed this post Cathe and agree wholeheartedly that ageing is a privilege. I’m so sick of these celebs and Instagrammers who filter the he’ll out of themselves. They all look the same and tbh some of them look quite ridiculous…even strange. Personally I’d rather look old than weird. As for Madonna, she’s a joke. No love, nobody wants to see your bare arse in the air it’s not dignified. I truly feel sorry for her children.
It’s so difficult to embrace aging when the media doesn’t support it. Nothing new. Reminds me of growing up in the 70’s we were all suppose to be rail thin. Now we can’t even have a wrinkle. Thank you for being real! It’s the main reason why I read your blog.
Well said!!! So much of social media is truly “fake” looking (not to mention all of the truly fake news out there). Aging is difficult. I hate seeing the changes and use a lot of serums and creams – but we can’t reverse what is happening and it’s silly to true. I applaud your honesty.
Love reading your posts! Your honesty and humor are appreciated. We older women should not sell ourselves short… we’ve worked too hard for our independence and individuality to “filter” our physical or intellectual beauty. I’ve earned every beautiful gray hair and every thoughtful wrinkle! Thanks for sharing your real life insights.
Loved this post. Thank you.
I too am currently diving into the skincare/makeup beauty blog world for 50 and over. On my socials, I almost always show my real face. If I’m using a filter, I am honest, and I put a disclaimer saying that I’m using a filter and, as a bonus, I’ll even tell you what filter it is.
When I feel down, I remind myself that my years are a privilege. One that wasn’t afforded to my brother. I try to take everything in stride…wrinkles, hair loss/thinning, and the rest of it.
I love this!!!!!!! XOXOXOXO
Yes! We’ve been sold that life pretty much ends after 29. Hello?! That’s when it starts getting good!
Yes! We’ve been sold that life pretty much ends at 29. Hello?! That’s when it starts getting good!
Elizabeth! PREACH-And louder for those in the back who can’t hear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OXOXOXO
Hon, you are just ahead of the curve – the “real” look will come, eventually people will wise up and the crazy photoshopped look will just become even more of a joke than it already is. Also, the “enhanced” photo of you – I could swear you have changed ethnicity with that one.
Hi juliet. Crazy Right? Those photoshopped/filtered shots of me are crazy fake! I’m purging less and less of the mature people I follow due to their phoniness with the filters, with the shilling of shit they obviously don’t use and the fact not a one of them has the balls to post anything even slightly political. I can’t anymore-LOL! XOXOXOXO