Being born of the Baby Boomer generation, my demographic is the target of hate, mistrust, and a general attitude that we are dumb, set-in-our ways, are not tech-savvy and a plethora of other bullshit.

This is the stereotype of a boomer woman. Short, outdated hair, unfashionable sweater.  Yeah. OK Boomer!

Today’s post is a review. An honest review of just what it is like to be “old.”  To be a Baby Boomer.  To be part of the invisible woman to the beauty and fashion industries.  To be passed over when we, as women, can be fashionable and stylish and whatever else we can be.

We may be invisible to the beauty and fashion industry, but to each other, we are a visible demographic of women.  And we still wear the shorts!

Here goes.

Being old is a process.  It is a process that takes a lifetime.  The beginning of the “Road to Old” commences the second your screaming little nugget of a being exits mommy’s uterus, still attached to the umbilical cord.  Once the air hits you—you begin the process of aging from young to old.  Never forget that.  Not now. Not ever. Never!

This is childbirth. Moments before the baby is cleaned and is soft, cuddly and clean and beautiful.  But remember. This is how you arrived and you’ll look pretty-much the same when you hit the end of the “Road to Old”.

Society makes a big deal of t this, and as well it should, because I did this with all three of my children.  And for those who are childless, I know you did this with your nieces and nephews and your friends’ children!  That said, when our little ones took their first step, or used the toilet for the first time, or lost a tooth, or started school—all those milestones that we laughed and cried and bragged and found a sense of wonder in…. they were steps to the road to old.  Your kid was aging.  And so were you!

“Aim for the Cheerios and not my clean floor” was the mantra when the boys started to toilet train. To this day, they can’t eat Cheerios.  I wonder why? But it was a part of the process of aging! Even as a toddler. One day diapers, the next, underpants…and then decades later, back to diapers!

When we hit the age of 30, many of us thought, at the time, we were “old”.  Well, we were not old but we were entering the choo-choo train to the station of “Old.”

Don’t feel like driving?  Then take the choo-choo train instead. You can enjoy the sights along the rail road tracks on the road to old! And you can play Candy Crush when you get bored!

As our children graduated from school, then university, then went on to careers that were lucrative, we cheered them on and were proud—never fully understanding or broaching the subject of aging—for them and for us.

My three babies when they graduated. Jake now forty and Oona and Roman in their thirties.  They are now riding the Road to Old and don’t even realize it!

Okay, as to not turn this post into a novel, I’m going to fast forward to the present….

All aboard!  Come on the Road to Old!  I started off as a child on the road with a smile and no wrinkles.  Mid way on the road, I was still smiling..these days, I’m still smiling but in a more wrinkled way!

And then, social media suddenly appeared.  Making aging and being old both a thing of the past and somewhat criminal and something we do not often think about. That is because our society is youth-obsessed.

Check out several “older” influencers shilling makeup and skincare.  Most are using filters to make the public believe that, at 60 years, they have the visage of a 25-year-old. Honey. I have a bridge to sell ya.  And the beauty industry should be ashamed to allow this.  Quite frankly, if I want to buy a skincare item and I see a filtered woman or a young woman who is just out of her teens, I am not wasting my money.   Let’s have transparency in age. It isn’t a crime to be old.

This is the incredibly talented designer Vera Wang. She is 74 years old. She uses filters. That is such a pathetic denial of age if I’ve ever seen it.  Why does she hide the fact that she’s OLD!!!  She should be celebrating it and showcasing the affects of aging and NOT hiding them. JHC. I can’t even….

Check out Reddit if you are of the old demographic but enjoy a good interaction online.  There is a subreddit of “Boomers Being Fools.” This sub is chock-full of vitriol and hatred to anyone over 50, 60 years and up.  It is intriguing because I can understand that there are several boomers who are averse to change.  Many believe in politics that just do not work anymore.  Many believe the boomer generation is entitled and spoiled whereas boomers who disagree will argue that the younger generations are spoiled and entitled.

I happen to be a fan of Reddit but this sub is vile. I have never seen such hate spewed upon an older generation as I have here. And some day, those who hate will be the generation that younger ones hate. Think about that!

Some posters believe that “old” people won’t retire because they are money-hungry and don’t want younger generations to have their jobs.  Speaking for myself, that is the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever come across.  I work because my divorce left me with nothing. No savings. No nothing.  I spent everything on my children—and that’s fine. I am happy I was able to do so. My children deserved everything and I gave what I could. No regrets.  But don’t hate me because, at 69 years old, I have a job!

Presently, I work because I must.  My SS Benefits are not enough to allow me to not work.  And I am not complaining because work is good. It keeps your mind working.  And yes. There are days when I wake up and think “Ugh. I don’t feel like going to work today.” And when I was in my twenties and working on Wall Street, I would wake up sometimes and have the same thought.   And I can assure you that I am not alone.

We are all NOT that Boomer.  Many of us don’t yap about how long or hard we work or have worked. We just DO it.  We’re like Nike!

The Road to Old isn’t about looking back. It isn’t about remaining suspended in time either. It is about moving forward with your age.  Looking forward in a great and life-loving way.

Old means waking up one morning and seemingly overnight, your face is wrinkled.  Your hands have age spots.  Your eyebrows have thinned but the little hairs fell onto your chin. It

Its true. Textured skin. Wrinkles. Lady Whiskers.  Old looking hands. Turkey Neck.  What a process. But guess what. If you’re lucky–it’s going to happen to you!

The tweezer is your friend.  Car light is the best for plucking those lady whiskers off your chin.  Sunglasses are your friend.  You did not sleep well, throw those sunnies on—you don’t even need makeup.  And we won’t even discuss hair for if you are a regular reader, you know that wigs are an asset for aging, thinning tresses!   Aging can be daunting at first but then you stop and think… and grab the tweezers!

Owning a plethora of tweezers, this type works for  the thicker chin hairs that seemingly pop out of nowhere.

You don’t need to pack on the foundation anymore.  The overabundance of face makeup enhances those lines.   You suddenly realize— “Hey, my face looks so much better without all that stuff” and you prioritize your beauty routine with better skin care.  You fill in the brows and rely on mascara and a bit of eye shadow.  You glide lip balm or gloss across your lips.  Maybe a swipe of blush.  That beauty routine every morning is cut down to five minutes.

My naked face. While traveling on the road to old, I realized all that crap on my face was making me look older.  I’ll take my wrinkles with a grain of salt please.  It’s eye makeup these days and my routine is a lot shorter which helps me to focus on other things!  Such as ironing clothing.

The doctors.  Yes plural.  We have more than one doctor as we age because we have more doctor appointments for various parts of our bodies.  Men have urologists.  We have OB/Gyns.  And being old means you still must visit your OB/GYN annually.  You need to have a mammogram every year.  And those mammos can be incredibly stressful.  My last mammo had me having to come back for an ultrasound.  Luckily all was well, but I stress about my annual next year.

Seriously. As we age, the doctors as well as nurses, are our best friends!

The skin checks are semi-annual. Our generation, being of the baby oil and iodine one, know full-well that our chances of skin cancer are a winning lottery ticket.  We were not aware of sunscreen.  Tan was king.  And then we got skin cancer.  Those skin checks can save your life.  Stressful? Yeah.  But when your dermatologist finishes and says “See you in six months” you walk out of that office on cloud nine.

Then there is the colonoscopy. Some are fortunate of wait ten years between this lovely necessity.   Some, like me, wait five because of a propensity to garner polys in the intestines.  Every three years and, some annually.

Me. Before the anesthstic kicks on when I have my colonoscopy!

I recently had my five-year colonoscopy and one small polyp was found.  My doctor said he would see me in five years.  I asked him if I could do one better and come back in a year.  He said no. He knows me. He knows that I just want him to give me that delightful anesthetic before shoving that tube up my ass.

The worst part is the prep.  But the best part is getting it done. And the anesthetic.

Oy. The eye doctor!  More than half of us/you/they will have the displeasure of cataracts. You will have to have them removed.  With surgery.  And that surgery will not only allow you to regain your sight, but the drugs you receive are the greatest.  If I grew a set of cataracts back, I would be first in line to have that twilight sleep!

Hey!  You gotta have a sense of humor when aging.  After my cataract surgery, I had to wear an eye patch. I decided to draw an eye on it! Ya think anyone knew it was fake?

The Road to Old means more doctor’s appointments and being more aware of your mortality and what can happen if you don’t take these appointments seriously.

Our bodies change when we walk that road.

Our muscles and joints may not be as pliable as they were when we were younger. So far, I’ve made it on the road to not having to have a hip or knee replacement but I credit that with genetics.  I can run up and down the stairs at home and can get up off the floor without assistance.   Can I do it as spryly as when I was younger?  Hell no!  But the fact is I can still do these things. One exception though.  Even though I can outrun a four-year old, for some bizarre reason, I must hold on to the dresser as I place my foot into panties.  And yes—this will happen to you too!

Remember this commercial?  So far, I can get up. However,  due to blindness in my right eye, I bump into things like walls.

Our memories get a bit rewired.  At times I’ll call Jake Roman and I’ll call Roman Jake. But guess what?  I did that when I was in my thirties and forties.  I would call Oona, Ruby or Dorothy, the monikers of our dogs.  And I would often refer to calling my dogs Oona.  Keys are always kept in one place or otherwise can be “lost.”  Sunglasses that are “lost” are oftentimes on my head.

Me. Loaded with glee after realizing the sunglasses were on my head!

And regarding “private” matters.   Let’s just say at times our sphincter muscles aren’t working as well as they did in our younger days.  On the road to old, one must have baby wipes in the bathroom.   The humorous part about this is when we get old, some parts of our bodies revert to infancy!   Trust me on this, if you are not fortunate enough to own a bidet, get baby wipes, and might I suggest the brand “Water Wipes.”  They are gentle and do the job!

These are now purchased in bulk at my house. And it is for me. My husband doesn’t have the issues that I do.  (He wanted me to tell you…)

Speaking of the posterior element of the body, passing wind (as my father would lovingly use instead of the word “fart.”  I grew up in a proper household) becomes something with frequency that one cannot control.  In younger days we could use our cheeks to suck in that gas.  As we are older, those little toots play as we walk, as we run and as we go about our daily lives.  I have already warned my co-workers about this phenomenon and they get the giggles every time. Who needs the French Horn when you can march to the beat of your own bodily functions?

That is the beauty of getting old.  I shall pass gas whenever needed for my gas has not an iota of scent!  (Unless I am eating anything containing garlic)

At this stage in my life, I don’t even have to try…..

The fashion and style aspect.  This one drives me up a wall.  The “experts” pontificate what the older woman should not wear. WTF?  Do not ever tell me what I cannot and can wear. It’s akin to politicians telling a woman what she cannot do with her body.  Influencers and women’s magazines–don’t yap about your feminist ideologies when, at the same time, you are telling a woman she cannot have long hair, nor wear hoop earrings if she is over a certain age.  I’ll wear my long hair and hoop earrings until I am on the flight to heaven or the descent into hell.

I shan’t cease to wear my beloved hoops. Neither should you!!!!!!!!!

Jeans?  The great debate regarding skinny ones.  Now that wide-leg jeans are “on trend,” it seems that skinny jeans are more elusive.  We, on the road to old, are well-aware of what fits us and what our preferences are.  For me, it is the denim of the skinny.   For my body type, they are the most flattering.  They add length to my legs and I will always love them.  In fact, Old Navy is having a sale this weekend and I ended up purchasing a pair for $20.99.

Purchased these skinny jeans yesterday at Old Navy.  I swear to God, I watched two You Tube videos that stated skinny jeans were out of style.  Screw that. I’m wearing what I deem stylish.  

It doesn’t mean that other styles won’t do—because they will.  But for my old money, I’ll take the skinny jeans.

Driving while on the road to old can be annoying when one is ………. on the road!  All younger people need to be aware that one day, a few or couple of decades from now, you will be on that road and it will hit you.  You cannot stand the other drivers!

Yeah. This is basically how I drive these days. And allow me to say that when one is old, all those decades of pent-up anger are released while one is behind the steering wheel!

There was a time in my life when I loved to drive.  Driving my sons to sporting practices, games, guitar lessons was routine but it was fun.  Driving my daughter to Irish Dance practices and competitions was a necessity but it was an enjoyable one.

Back in the day, when mommy drove, I could have been a race car driver to get my kids where they needed to be on time.  Pop some Matthew Sweet in the CD player and go, go, go.  The road to old has changed that!

Driving to Wegman’s these days is a nasty chore. Not only are the drivers on the road an annoyance but…………the parking lot is worse.  People driving 50 mph in a lot filled with humans wheeling grocery carts and strollers with children do not need to have their lives endangered by the idiot with the bigly pickup truck who thinks he doesn’t have to follow the rules of the road—whether on the street or in a parking lot.

Don’t get me started on parking my car far from the store because I need to walk a bit more. Not one car is near my whip.  Then when I approach my vehicle after the shopping has been finished, I come back to someone who parked so close to me that I could swear my auto will give birth to a small scooter in nine months.

Yes. This is the stuff that all will experience as they advance up the road to old.

Remember the big deal about zero tolerance?  There’s a different type of zero tolerance as one is on that road to old.  It’s called impatience. At work, I lack the patience to sit at my desk while my old, state-owned, computer takes 15 minutes to load.  When at work, I want to work.  It isn’t productive to sit staring at the little round “wheel of life” as the computer loads.

This little circle tries my patience every day. Monday through Friday. 15 minutes. Every. Single. Work. Day.   As an older person, this annoys me to no end!

While I can be quite the hypocrite regarding time, when younger, I was always late.  I would be the one to saunter into a family party an hour or more after the festivities began.  My mindset was chill.  These days, I’m the first at every event. Even if I must sit in my car for 45 minutes, I am early.  Why?  Because the other drivers on the road bother me.

As I have gotten older; old, my patience has run out even aas soon as a red light turns green. GO! Stop looking at your phone. GO.GO!  When people are making a right-hand turn, how can it take them over ten seconds to do so? Beep. Beep. Beep.

Let us pretend it is 1965. You are young. And are at the second exit on the road to old. You are watching the TV show “Shindig”.  You pretend you are a “Go Go” dancer.  Take that thought when the light changes to green and “Go Go”!

And while we pull off the road at the “Curmudgeon” exit, it is the exit that, at one time or another, all younger generations will be getting off.

LOL. I love my husband but he’s been on the road to old and at times, he is a curmudgeon.  He becomes grumpy about little things I fail to do.

It is life.  It is a process. It is aging.  And, if you are incredibly lucky, you will be able to get on the road to old and remain on it until the road ends an does not go further.   Some aren’t lucky. Some leave that road as youngsters.  Some as young adults.  Some just before hitting middle age.

These pics are of my brother Pete. The bottom one was taken when we went to pick pumpkins when he was visiting from his AF post in Korea.  The top one was taken when he was on the USAF Honor Guard in DC.  He died young.  He was about halfway on the Road to Old and didn’t make it. Not a day goes by that he isn’t in my thoughts.  I wish he was still on the road…

And despite how cranky, how stubborn, how annoying we old people are, we are lucky to wake up every morning to a new day.  And that new day may or may not be perfect but we are even luckier to wake up the next day to a glimmer of hope that the day will be better.

Be like Snow White when you wake up.  Listen to the birds. Smell the flowers (if you haven’t passed wind).  Be happy!

Life has peaks nd valleys.  The road to old isn’t a smooth ride. It is bumpy. It is daunting. It is sad. It is full of angst and fear.  It is also full of happiness.  And fun.  And love.

Don’t fear the peaks. They are merely obstacles.

So, get in that car.  Ride the train.  Hike that road! Head for “The Road to Old” and no matter where you exit.  Enjoy the ride! Because the “Road to Old” is positive!

And whether you are grumpy, or impatient, or working or have to deal with “Boomer” hatred.  Smile through it all and realize that you are lucky!