As most of you most precious friends of this blog may recall, and simply because we are all around the same age—the 1963 movie “The Stripper” starring Joanne Woodward as the struggling, aging, actress who turned to stripping her clothing off and bumping and grinding her way, in her newly seedy existence to pay her bills.

Hmmm. I wonder what The Long Island Catholic newspaper rated this movie. It was most likely either A-f which was “Adults with Reservations” (whatever that meant ) or C for “Condemned”! 

Although, ever the precocious young music fan, I do remember loving the theme from the film, written, and composed by David Rose.  It was a huge hit and I’m pretty sure that one of my siblings was conceived to their Catholic rhythm method to the beats of that instrumental.

I’m sure one of my siblings was conceived to the rytthm of this song!

But that isn’t the sort of stripper I reach for—whether inward or outward.

I’m talking of the process of stripping my clothes off every weekday as I return home from work.  And a few other ways I enjoy less clothing.

And if I WAS a stripper, I would relate more to the Chris Farley (R.I.P) version! We have the same belly!

Now, do not get me wrong.  I love my clothes.  All those corporate ensembles I wore as an executive assistant—I adored them, and enjoyed the process of planning my daily outfits.  And as casual as the dress code is at the hospital in which I am employed, I become joyful in playing around with how I’m going to wear jeans, J. Crew pixie pants and the like.

In the year of working for the State Hospital, I no longer miss these ensembles. However, the tartan kilt will still be worn–it’s comfy!!

When traveling?  I’m your girl that doesn’t throw two weeks’ worth of clothing into a carryon.  My wigs go there.  I lug an oversized suitcase around with a month’s worth of cloths that I won’t even wear.  Having a choice is important to me.

Hey!  I’m going away for the weekend!  I’ll live in one pair of leggings and a Tee shirt but I love a choice!

And if there is an “occasion” such as a wedding or event (that I am usually not invited to), I can assure you that my entire being will be shoved into a great dress!  And heels (even though I won’t be able to walk in them.

As formally dressed as I was for Oona’s wedding, this Calvin Klein dress was incredibly comfortable. It had a built-in bra!

Running errands, from the most mundane to the full-on mall trip, will have me looking stylish.

I wore this to the mall after work last Friday. It was perfect for work and shopping!

However, something happens as soon as I arrive home from anywhere.  The clothes come off.  And no, I don’t run around the house naked.  My slob clothes come on.

Here’s how it rolls:

Clumsily, I open the front door.  Often, I’ll be carrying so much shit that it will take me at least ten minutes to turn the handle of the front door and carry myself through the threshold.

Basically, this is me at the front door arriving home from work every day. Except I am carrying more stuff!

Then, as I hit the first few steps, I reach into my shirt, any top, or if a dress, I hike up the bottom and, while the item is on, my hands will reach into the sleeve and magically take the bra off.

There’s nothing like disrobing up the stairs. And Chippy is always waiting to assist!

Next, the hair comes off.  By this point I figure this is my exercise for the day:  Running up the stairs.  Carrying the weight of my life. It requires strength!

And that is my same reaction as my wig is taken off!

Now that I’m on the second landing, I drop the purse and overfilled tote bag on the dining room table.   After all, the dining room table is the great multitasking piece of furniture.  From using it as my office (I’m writing my blog post on my laptop which is placed upon the dining room table), and using it to place all my stuff on. Oh yeah. We eat at this table too.

Yup!  My multi-tasking dining room table! 99.9 percent of the time it looks like this!

Wig and bra in hand, the shoes come off as I get ready to climb up the final set of stairs.  My finale to this obstacle course.

My clothing is finally thrown off my body!

WE NOW INTERRUPT THIS BLOG POST  TO GIVE YOU AN UNPAID, UNSPONSORED AD ABOUT MY NEW FAVORITE BRA!!!

I got tired of my titties being squished into bras that were underwired, digging into the soft, pillowy flesh of my bosom.  The overflow from side boobage was also annoying as were the bra straps that always fell down.

So I ordered these bras from Temu.

The cost was $17.99 for five bras. How could I resist?  The bras are front-closure and the straps really aren’t straps. They are a micro blend and wide and don’t fall down!

And even though the bras are softly padded, behind you will see two little insert pads (they did not come with the bras. I had these)

There’s a little pocket in the bra to place extra padding.  Don’t mind the dark spot on the pad, I washed it specifically for this post and it didn’t dry. The large fits my 36 C bust perfectly.

OK. BACK TO THE BLOG!!

In my panties, I carefully hang or fold my jeans.  If the top needs to be washed, it gets tossed into the laundry basket. If it can be worn again, it gets folded nicely and placed in a drawer.

And speaking of drawers…. the drawers on my body, or as the proper individual would refer to them as my panties or underpants, they get tossed in the laundry basket.

How lazy AM I?  The drawers, which are thrown on the floor, are picked up by my foot. I won’t even bend down.  I am a disgraceful individual.

Am I embarrassed by the jiggly bits my naked body is shaking?  Nah.  It’s me. They are my jiggly bits.  But I like to cover them.  Especially since I’m most-likely awaiting an Amazon delivery and don’t want to be arrested for answering the door in my birthday suit.

Instead, I slip into a pair of Old Navy Holiday pajamas.  Caveat: These are worn from October through May.  When the weather warms up, it’s an old sundress that has been stained from my sloppy cooking.

My favorite at-home clothing. Old Navy PJ’s.  As much as I love them at home, it disgusts me when I see people on airplanes wearing these.

Speaking for myself, I take extreme pleasure in dressing like the ultimate lazy, slovenly, piggy when I’m home.  Within the confines of our townchateau, I can plop on a sofa and read a book in my pajamas that are old, raggy, ripped in unmentionable places and not have to worry about bending down.

The Frenchman doesn’t mind this for I am the one who introduced this rather formal specimen into the joy of dressing down at home. By explaining that his cashmere sweaters or expensive trousers would live a longer life if he took them off when he is home and, instead, dresses in the one pair of sweats he owns and an old tee from his tennis club, he would be a happier person.  He has followed my advice and remains both grateful, happy, and buys less clothing so that I may buy more!

It goes a bit further though.  When family comes over for dinner—whether randomly visiting or for holidays, I don’t ask them to dress up.  Rather, I prefer casual comfort. The table will be beautifully set.  The food glorious food will be delicious.  And why should they wear clothing that they will be afraid to mar if a spot of gravy is spilled or if anything falls into their lap of clothing?  No. Come over. Wear what you want.  But dress for comfort!

The usual holiday table when guests come over..

The usual holiday table after the guests leave!

It’s an odd paradox.  Because when we do go out for dinner, I love to dress.

Sometimes dresses. Sometimes pants. But when we head out to dinner, I always dress up a bit!

I will make sure that, even heading to the mall, I will not be wearing sweats or pajama bottoms.

Do you roll the same way? I’m curious about this because I wonder if I am the anomaly or the norm?

As an aside, on this Tuesday, the first of October, I’m home from work.  I’m in a pair of Old Navy Holiday pajamas from last year because I took a sick day.

My ensemble today.  Holiday PJ’s. I did throw on some lipstick and a wig so I would feel slightly better but the wig is coming off.

I woke up yesterday with a bout of Gastroenteritis.  I’m prone to this stomach condition. For me, it is due largely to stress (think election).  But I must tell you, unless you have had this, you cannot imagine just how bad the stomach cramping is.  Those cramps are bend-over-forward cramps.  Birthing contractions are more enjoyable!

This was me yesterday. All I want for dinner tonight is chicken noodle soup.

When I was headed to work yesterday, I could feel the onset.  I honestly spent more time in the bathroom on the toilet than at my desk working.  Luckily, I can run fast or I would not have made it to the bathroom without soiling my jeans.  But to be safe, I shoved almost an entire roll of toilet paper into my panties.

A month ago, I had to prep for my Colonoscopy. At least I was home. Yesterday. I was NOT home. I had to run to the bathroom all day. I felt like this !

It. Was. Painstaking.

That said, we’re two months away from December. The remainder of the year is going to zoom no matter what we wear! No matter what we don’t wear. We will be making plans. We won’t be making plans. Overall, let’s enjoy the remainder of 2024!