Or don’t go on thousand-dollar shopping hauls. Or don’t live in a designer-quality home. In fact, don’t hate me at all….
No. Buying all this won’t make you perfect and don’t even watch videos from influencers who showcase this sort of video.
Remember those ads—Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful? Well, if you do, then you are old and have a very good idea of what real beauty looks like. In the case of the ads, nobody hates these women. Due to the 1980’s hair styles, though, it’s acceptable to “hate” 1980’s hair.
Kelly Lebrock in a Pantene ad from the 1980’s. Kelly, I can assure you nobody hated you because you are beautiful.
When did society become so hung up on being perfect? Honest to God, I’ve been spending less time on social media these days because of a few reasons—mostly because our political situation has triggered me to the point of medication. But it isn’t only politics. It’s the bullshit of grifters. The allure of trying to be perfect in every way.
Perfect from your face to your body. Perfect in your home. Perfect in every way. It’s boring and underwhelming. And expensive.
Allow me to express my thoughts:
Back in the 1970’s beauty and perfection were not perfect. Do you remember the actress, Karen Black? Her eyes were a bit wonky, and I, as a cross-eyed individual, absolutely loved that she was not perfect, yet she was unique in her beauty.
Karen Black. A true unique beauty. By today’s standards, social media would have the trolls and haters out. Her eyes always made me feel so good about myself.
Remember the great Lauren Hutton? The model’s model? She had that incredible gap between her teeth and, yeah, to add to her attractiveness, she had a lazy eye. I would say that I was in good company! These women were natural and individualistic beauties. And that was welcomed back then.
I don’t think there has ever been a model as naturally beautiful as Lauren Hutton. Her imperfections were her trademark.
Plastic surgery was basically unheard of . No hemorrhoid lips or floating-device titties back then. Natural was in.
The funny thing about this SNL sketch is more and more actors are looking like this version of Will Ferrell these days (Bradley Cooper–are you reading this?)
Can you imagine what Disney’s Cinderella would have to go through today? Oh those lips! Proof perfect ain’t perfect!
Now we have filters—in ads. In videos. And it remains to be false advertising. The Il Makiage ads are disgustingly false. No foundation is going to take your wrinkles away. No foundation is going to erase imperfections. And if you believe it is, then I got a bridge to sell ya.
Makeup should be used to enhance your features and slightly cover up, but not take away, skin imperfections—not making you perfect but making you a better image of yourself.
This is the most misleading crock of shit. Look at this “mature” woman’s skin. It’s normal older woman skin. She’s attractive. She looks fine. She even has turkey neck as we all do with aging.
Look again my dears. Look AFTER she applies this magic foundation that actually filters her! Her wrinkles are gone. She’s blurry–and the wrinkles in her neck are gone. Why…she’s….she’s….she’s PERFECT–and all thanks to the foundation!
And bodies. I’m sure you are familiar with The Osbourne family. Kelly, the younger daughter of the children, in her young days was a bit on the plump side and there is nothing wrong with that. The online abuse she took must have been horrific for a young girl. When she got older she lost some weight and looked absolutely beautiful. She was a unique beauty who marched to the beat of her own drum and I loved her for that.
Credit where it is due, this photo of Kelly Osbourne from Bridgeman Images is gorgeous. She had a wonderfully normal body and she grew up to be a very unique body–her hair color is wonderfully suited to her personality.
After her dad, Ozzy’s, passing, she went into a serious period of grieving. I get that. Losing a parent is horrible and we all have our ways to deal with it. But there is something sad about this woman’s appearance. I cannot bring myself to post a picture of her body because it is too triggering and just too disturbing. However, here is how her face has changed. It isn’t the same one as years ago. Her hooded eyes of youth weren’t perfect but they were her. She was absolutely adorable. Her features are different. Is this because she is in grief or wanting to be today’s standard of perfect beauty?
It’s hard to come to terms with this being the same adorable woman. I hope the 2026 photo isn’t because of wanting to keep up with today’s version of perfect.
Don’t even get me started on home perfection. The onset of home influencers has me wishing that 2026 is the end of them. And brands should know better. Brands need to focus on their product and not some grifter to shill their wares.
Many would view this as contemporary perfection. It’s clean and nice–I’ll give it that much but I prefer a less perfect, more lived-in look!
Growing up, home décor wasn’t a priority in our house. With five kids, tuition for Catholic school, sports and other extra-curricular activities, the focus was on my mother’s obsession with clean clothing, three well-rounded meals a day (and not the processed meals), and a clean house. In her eyes, perfection was polished hardwood floors and cleaning the sink edges with a toothpick (something I do to this day).
We had avocado-colored appliances in the kitchen, and foam-cushioned sofas in the family room because we weren’t allowed on the “good” furniture in the living room. And that’s how many families lived. Nobody tried to outdo each other. There was no “aesthetic”. Either you had a “nice” house or an untidy one.
Ahh. Memories of that “perfect” avacado kitchen from growing up!
Unless your parents were trained chef’s or sophisticated adults, the spice rack contained three items: salt, pepper and Accent. Maybe cinnamon during the holidays. There were no overpriced “organizers” filling the pantry. Pantries were made for children to go on scavenger hunts—like when our moms told us to go to the pantry for a can of tomato paste and we had to peruse every shelf, behind jars and tubes and other items for that small can of paste. It was a challenge and we felt like we had superpowers for merely surviving that trip into the cave of an unorganized mess! It was fun and an object lesson for adulthood in doing research when we grew up and had jobs.
These days, I’m the only one who gets lost in this small pantry. No matter how much I organize it, two days later it’s a mess. I am not ashamed because it brings back fun childhood memories of being lost in my mother’s walk-in pantry!
I find myself obsessed with little videos of people cleaning and organizing their homes into perfection. Do these people cook a meal, or do they live on the ready-made, processed meals that are delivered to their door? Do they take the time to plop down on a cushiony sofa and love seat to read a book or watch a TV show? WTF are they doing vacuuming their garbage cans, organizing their refrigerator, and pontificating their dwelling’s wellness?
My house will never look this organized. I like having “stuff”. Speaking of organized.
Speaking of organized, I am a huge fan of Operation Niki’s videos on cleaning and organizing. I watch her clean instead of doing it myself. And by the end of her videos, I’m tired from all that cleaning and perfection!
I love Niki! Her voice is so soothing and it calms me down. But I do become exhausted after watching her videos. I don’t know how she does it!
Our dwelling’s wellness is making sure we have room spray for the bathroom, and the heat is working during the winter and in summer, the air-conditioning is keeping us cool in the humidity and heat of the Mid-Atlantic.
I’m a big fan–not that my…you know…doesn’t stink but spraying this gives off a guiltless scent!
We also have fake Christmas trees so that our house isn’t bothered by random fir needles popping up throughout the year. That is our home wellness.
The “big” tree in the living room.
In my ever-imperfect way, we finally took the Christmas trees down last Saturday. And there will be no random pine or fir needles!
Our individual wellness? It isn’t having state-of-the-art exercise equipment (even if there was room) in our downstairs family room. It’s me going to the Ob/gyn in January for my annual lady-parts exam, a mammogram in February for my girls to be squished like two crepes, and in March, my 6-month skin check (which is later this week and, as usual, I’m always petrified). Then I have a six-month period of feeling fine until August when I have my annual “wellness” check-up, and every three years a colonoscopy, and in September my other 6-month skin check, which always has me stressed by the amount of sun I take in the summer. Then I have October, November, and December as a distraction, which may be why I love Christmas so much, until January when the cycle commences for the next year.
“THANK GOD IT’S ONLY ONCE A YEAR THAT I SEE HER”–and that’s what my doctor says when she sees me–all of me!
Yes. That is what wellness is all about. Wellness is not watching a wellness influencer tell you that to have a perfectly running body you must take these “generic brand gummy, jelly, artificially fruit flavored supplements to add strength, youthfulness, vim and vigor to yourself. And might I add these little pellets of artificial flavor are not FDA-approved. And they won’t prevent Covid nor will they take the place of being vaccinated. Go to your doctor!
And let’s not forget about hair, skin and nail supplements that multitask. Thinning hair? Save your money and buy a wig.
I love imperfections. In our home, I love that there isn’t a theme in our décor. The vibe is comfort. It’s inviting. Plop yourself on the sofas or a chair. Sit on the floor for all I care. The dwelling isn’t perfect, but it is clean. And that is all that matters.
Welcome. Take yer shoes off and relax. take a seat and enjoy.
Like my parents’ priority was me and my siblings, when my children were young, they were the priority. Currently, the priority is saving our money for travel and spending our money on our mortgage, car payments, utilities and every-day living expenses. The priority isn’t running out and making purchases to have our home be a royal palace. Instead, our home is an imperfect palace. And that’s how I love it.
When I wake up in the morning and see the vision of my face reflecting in the mirror as I go to brush my teeth and was my face, I see a very old version of myself that isn’t perfect. I don’t necessarily love the reflection, but I am thankful I woke up to see it. And that’s what I love.
Every morning. Every. Morning. The age spots. The discoloration. The wonky eyes. The lady whiskers that I need to pluck. But as long as I get the opportunity to wake up and welcome the day, I’m happy!
Skincare, a bit of makeup, and, naturally, my fake hair are my assistants in making me look nice. My eyes are still crossed and asymmetrical. The age spots have replaced the cute freckles of my youth. The lines are lining. Texture is still there. My fang tooth still manages to stick out when I smile—and I love that. All of that is part of what makes me, well, me.
Slap some makeup on to even out the skin, and it does the job. The eyes are still wonky. The texture is still there but with a little assistance–especially with the wig–and my imperfections are an asset! Note–I’m not wearing mascara!
I love the comfort of our home. When I come home from work at what I deem “Shudder Island”, I am entering my comfort zone of individual home décor and not that of some grifter telling me how to decorate. It is my husband and my collective.
My happy place. It may not be perfect to some but to me–it’s my chateau!
So there. Take that throw blanket that your dog bit a hole into. Take that scratched arm of the sofa that your cat decided to dig their claws into. Take that tiny wine spill on the sofa to remind you of a great gathering during the holidays and embrace it all. Admire your imperfections. Because they have personality. Imperfections are fun and quirky. They are unique and make you..well, you!
A gentle reminder that we live with a dog.
And another gentle reminder. Chippy owns this sofa. And yeah, there’s a little stain on the sofa’s arm. But it isn’t worth it to sweat the small stuff. It makes life realistic!
Imperfection is reality. Smoke and mirrors, as well as perfection, is an illusion and not realistic!
Spooky! That’s the topic of my post today too. I find the perfect wig hair to be disconcerting on me. Especially when it’s fresh out of the box.
GET OUT! (Elaine Benis push)! Great minds think alike. Please. I can barely watch those wig unboxing videos anymore. NO wig is perfect out of the box. They need TLC!!
Well done! This was so real and funny ! I read you from Liverpool UK your blog is one of my favourites 😄
Thank You , My friendly Liverpudlian–am I correct? I hope to make it to England one day. Home of Nick Drake!!
A great read as always Cathe!! Reading you from a very wet and humid Townsville in North Queensland, Australia!! Keep up your good work of keeping it honest and real in a crazy world!! 👏👏🥰
Thanks Robin!!!!!!!!!!!
Great essay! I laughed out loud at “A gentle reminder that we live with a dog.”
The models from the 70s were amazing. Perfect with their so-called imperfections. I could especially relate to the near flat-chested models in Glamour and Mademoiselle. What a great time to be alive compared to what we have become.
Lisa–right? The dog! It’s HIS house, we just live there to feed him! Oh the 1970’s models, as well as the 1960’s models were everything! Twiggy. Coleen Corby (my favorite). Patty Hanson. They were REAL! Too bad our society loves generically fake these days.
Gosh, this was so relatable because I do remember those commercials! I had to chuckle at the title of your post because I say that to my husband all the time. I’ll admit to laser treatments for the brown spots on my face as well as having had a few Botox treatments. The wrinkles don’t bother me near as much as those huge brown splotches. Those Il Makiage ads pop up all the time when I’m playing a game on my iPad. I feel badly for the women who are taken in by those as well as so many others. I’ve struggled the last several years about even caring if there’s dust on my furniture. It doesn’t help that it’s dark wood, either. I used to clean every Saturday while teaching full-time. Now, I’m retired and can’t seem to care enough to clean so my house is clean but not spotless.
As to politics, I truly think, between the election of 2015, Covid, my husband’s many illnesses (including breaking his ankle during Covid), and then the election of 2010, I have PTSD. And, I live in the very red state of Indiana. There are a couple of houses I go by and flip off because of the flags they have out! I do not, however, flip off a living person because, in their infinite wisdom, the dumb ass legislators of Indiana passed open carry gun laws. I don’t even make eye contact with other drivers. I am trying to be hopeful our country will improve…not go back to the way it was….George Floyd et al taught us our country was far from perfect. But, I’m hoping a big blue surge occurs, not only in mid-terms, but also in the 2028 elections…if we even have them. So, hang in there because I am, even if it’s with the tips of my unpolished, gnawed down fingernails.
Marsha, I’m right there with your husband. Only for me, I’m more mentally exhausted. Even the mention of it’s name triggers me. Hey, I’m due for another lip flip but I just have to find the time because the place I go to has limited hours–best $100 bucks I’ve spent! What bothers me is when people say that they’ve had nothing done. Admit to it. Just admitto it!!! I don’t even speak to people who have voted for that thing. Siblings included.
My husband had both hips replaced…one in 2024, the other in 2025. They were failures. He’s going in Tuesday for a revision of the first one. He hasn’t really walked since Christmas 2023. That means everything falls on me, and I am f*cking exhausted. Now, I’m even more exhausted trying to understand a Jewish friend’s anger at the response to the attacks in Iran. I asked Mike, during Covid, if we were in the end times. I’m beginning to think that was the start. Something has to give, and soon.
My sister lives in Northern Indiana, in an area surrounded by farm land, and when I’m visiting and we’re out and about we sometimes drive by properties that feature Trump flags, a-blowin’ in the wind. However, happily for this Californian, my sister now has a new neighbor who from time to time will sit out at the end of her cul-de-sac with an anti-Trump sign.
Hopefully a sign that people from the area are getting wise to his idiocy.
Such a pleasure when I get a new post from you in my inbox. Always heartfelt and fun to read. Thank you for all your hard work.
Hi FMM! Thank you so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are spot on again, Cathe. I have to say I got sucked into the Il Makiage b.s. I tried it once and promptly returned it. The funny thing is when I started the return process, they told me to keep it and returned my money. I threw it in the trash. It was just an awful product. I’ve come to terms with my wrinkles and am grateful to be turning 71 in April especially since I am a 20 year breast cancer survivor and many aren’t as fortunate as I was. I love the humor in your writings and you are so relatable.
Toni–don’t get me started on Il Makiage. I got sucked in as well and it’s shit. I’m sure the brand is aware of this because all their ads showcase women of all ages with filters! And congrats on your 20th anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!
I always love your blog posts Catherine. Your heart and soul are so in the right place,
Christine
Thank you so much Christine!!!!!!!!
You are absolutely right on all topics. The make up fad of the last 30/40 years has somewhat passed me by. I was never a great customer of all the colors you can smear your face with. I much prefer to spend my money on brand name face care products as I do have very delicate dry skin. I do occasionally go with smoky eyes when hubby and I go to a restaurant. In my younger years I loved nail polish. All kinds of colors. Particularly green and blue, with sparkles or without, to the horror of my mother who was a pink nails kind of woman. My daughter had a phase in her teens when she’d go all out with makeup but that has completely faded away as she works outside a lot, training dogs and riding horses. She’s more into a “boots in the mud” lifestyle now. You should see the interior of her car. Then, maybe not. 😂
Concerning interiors I never understood this American fad of sleek curated tan/greige/beige. So boring! Our homes in France have wood and dark-er colors. Antique pieces passed down to you. My home is full of darker reds, greens and different kinds of wood hues. No glass but wrought iron. Love wrought iron accents.
My kitchen is light wood and cream with light sage walls. I will admit though that I have several lazy Susans in my cupboards as seen on YT videos. These are not very common in French households and I am very glad that they house my large spice collection.
Thanks for posting your rambles. Always food for thought and a good laugh. Hugs. Brigitte
Thanks Brig! The French, as well as Europeans, have the right idea. Nothing is perfection but it works so well–it’s all based on comfort and personal taste. I’ve never been on board with makeup trends. I can’t stand color on my face–and that includes red lipstick–which, BTW, I’m sick and tired of influencers insisting there is a red for everyone. No. There isn’t. I stopped getting the nails done because I don’t want to spend the money nor do I want to waste two hours in a nail salon. I’m tired and lazy. And I think that comes with not wanting BS as we age!
There is this new fad in France now with nail salons popping up all over the place. And they actually have customers! The thought of going to a salon, spending so much money on something I can do myself, would never, and has never, crossed my mind. What a waste of hard earned money.
Great post. You absolutely NAILED it. These so-called ‘influencers’ tick me off. Rachel Parcell and her obtuse and vain sister Emily are examples of the sick culture of wanting to be perfect and enviable. I couldn’t care less about the Hermes bags, the designer clothing, shoes that will ultimately destroy their feet.
What Kelly Osbourne did to herself is such a tragedy.
I’ve never really used much makeup. And now that I’m 70 I don’t even use mascara. I let my hair be it’s natural color since Covid hit and haven’t looked back. It’s been quite nice to not have to deal with that anymore.
It’s YOU how is an inspiration. Keep up the good work!
Thanks Vava!! It’s so true. I’m absolutely fed up with influencer culture. It’s why I haven’t done any YT videos for a long while. Even the influencers that are over 50, 60, etc are full of shit (well, except the ONE I follow and that’s because she doesn’t use a filter and she travels to Paris and London regularly). The filters. Come on now. You’re OLD. Stop hiding the wrinkles on your face when your neck and hands give your age away!
And don’t get me started on the ones who dictate what you should wear–at over 50 wear whatever the fuck you want to wear. I don’t need advice from an older French woman nor do I need advice from one who is telling me to type a special word to get a link to her outfit. We all should be our own influencers.
Who needs perfection? I am way too hard on myself at work–I even have a sign on my desk to remind me to stop overthinking. At home, all I want to do is relax–and I’m sure many women our age feel the same.
Kelly Osbourne–I want to hug her and tell her it’s going to be fine and I want to bake her a batch of cookies to enjoy with a cold glass of milk. She’s beautiful but fell prey to online trolls and the hollywood delusion of perfect.
LOL. My absolute two favorite coats are from Temu and both look like a million bucks. I’m mentally exhausted from the vulgarity of old money looks vs. new money. Those who pontificate new vs. old have no idea what they are talking about. My wardrobe is based on my old clothing. Oh I could go on and on!
Enjoyed! Great to see you and Chippy! Live it up….love
Catherine, what a great, entirely realistic outlook on life! I stopped wearing makeup years ago because a) I couldn’t really be bothered and b) My chronic allergies would make my mascara run and make me look like a racoon! I let my hair go grey and even though now it is thinning, as long as its clean I feel like I won’t scare little children in the grocery store! LOL My Pantry looks exactly as your picture and I have numerous times bought duplicates because I couldn’t find what I was looking for! My house has a lived in look as I look after my two grand-cats 3 times a week. Forever grateful for having a house to live in, enough to eat and the love of my little family! Always look forward to your posts.
I’m spending less and less time on social media (I’ve given up Instagram) as every time I go on I get the urge to buy something that will make me look better, or feel better, or live better and…by now I know that these posts are not made by people who want to help us improve our lives but instead advertisements trying to get us to buy something so that the posters can make money from the brands they feature.
One of the reasons that I reading your blog is that you are not in it to fleece us. Thank you.
Regarding poor Kelly Osborne – I was shocked when I saw that photo of her. The people I feel the sorriest for are the young women of today, who are surrounded by scores of ridiculously altered faces and thus have no idea what a ‘normal’ woman looks like, at any age. I just saw photos of the Kardashian women before and then after all of their surgeries and, holy moly, it was shocking. It’s a societal problem and getting worse, it seems.
By the way I think you’re quite beautiful – that bone structure! – and aging perfectly as women with good bones do. Charlotte Rampling is my best example for this – she’s clearly whatever age she is but still stunning. Bravo to you both!
Another good conversation. Merci.
Catherine – You rock! I get a smile on my face when I see an email from you. Don’t ever stop. I feel I live in a bubble, in a good way. I have never spent one minute on TicTok and proud of it. i use little make-up and no red lipstick for me either. I keep my sanity by having friends and family who think like I do. They have intelligent conversations about matters that matter.
Keep up the good work
Thanks so much Bonnie. And I won’t stop!!!