A Different Kind of Hard On!

Caught your attention with THAT title—didn’t I??Get the dirty thoughts outta ya heads, you naughty people, you!!! I’m talking about being “hard” on myself! At least that’s what Bonaparte is telling me lately…

It goes like this….

A large corporation, one that has great benefits, great pay and a great corporate culture, got in touch with me because they liked my resume. A phone interview was set up. It went well. (Or so I thought)

I cannot be a “Phone-y”!

..or so I THOUGHT it went well!  I’m still trying to figure out WHY I wasn’t called in for an actual interview? Could it be she didn’t like my New York/Long Island accent?

The HR person I spoke to told me that the management team would review both my resume and the outcome of our phone interview.

While I was out and about on Friday, I received a message that I would not be called in for a face-to-face interview.

I also found out the job interview I went on during the week, didn’t pan out.

My heart is broken.

My heart is breaking.

Between the job news and Oona moving, I sat down and had a long, long cry! Remember that song by Crystal Gayle? “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue”? Well, I was crying and singing “Don’t it Make My Crossed-Eyes Blue”!

Don’t know when I’ve been so blue

Don’t know what’s come of the interview

You’ve found younger and new

And don’t it make my crossed eyes blue


My blue cross eyes!

“Wahhhhhhhh”  My crossed-eyes are just so blue–and watery from crying!

Bonaparte said in his adorable accent of which I could barely understand:

“Cassee. Ou ahr bee-ang too ‘ard on ouselllllllllllvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv!” “Ou nid to be reh-laxxxxxxxdddde”

(translation: “Cathe. You are being too hard on yourself. You need to be relaxed!”

Mind you, I had this self-pitying breakdown just moments before my son arrived. AND he arrived with a girl. A girl I’ve never met before. I literally had to put on my “big girl” panties. No. I really did have to put them on because my ass and tummy got so large that I had to wear a body shaper! I cannot be fat mom—especially when my son brings a girl home! OK???

Body shaper

My body was shaped, but the fat was just redistributed in spillage!

Anyway, within seconds of Jake’s arrival, I was fine! I was just genuinely happy to see him and we all had a great dinner and I drank too much wine. You wanna know something?   I have a two-drink limit. Seriously. I can only drink two Kir Royales—beyond that, like wine with dinner, I get really blasted and then have a hangover the next day.

Kir Royale

Actually, ONE Kir Royale is my limit….but with mixing wine…

Cote de Provence

…even a glass or two of a nice Rose, I’m just not in good shape!

I was hung over yesterday. I swear to god, I cannot mix anything!! ANYTHING! We had Rosé with dinner and my son kept refilling our glasses. Between the wine and the champagne and crème de cassis, my head hurt and my stomach needed a greasy bagel with egg, ham, and cheese. But—I’m on a “quest” to lose weight (NOTE—I’m no longer using the word “diet”—it’s not happening. “Quest” or “Journey” will be my new words for my feeble attempts to drop pounds!)

So back to my “job” search….

It baffles me that the only job I was able to snag was that two-week stint with the band of grifters.


Ok–so they didn’t seduce or murder me on the job, but that two-week stint really conned me. They murdered my ego and self-esteem!

The boss who fired me, upon hiring me, welcomed me into her world of “misfits”! That could mean one of two things.


Now, THESE little Toy misfits are more my style!

Am I such a loser that I couldn’t even “fit in” with the misfits..or..I was so incredible that I was not able to “fit in” with the misfits.   Presently, in my delusional world, I’m hoping that the later was the reason!

My resume is “Resumazing”! No—really. It is. I can type 70 WPM, I’m a wiz at Word. At my past positions, I created spreadsheets on the average of three times a week. I’ve added formulas, additional workbooks, pivot tables. I’ve corrected others’ spreadsheets too. Fun in an office environment is Power Point for me! I love creating PP presentations!

Little Wythe Tote Goes To France  Click on to see my PP presentation about my little tote in France!

I’ve helped co-workers with issues they’ve had with Word.

I graduated from Katie Gibbs! I love being a support person! I’m loyal like a doggie when it comes to working for someone.

Right now, I’m starting to get scared. As much as I appreciate Bonaparte’s support and good graces, I don’t want to depend on him. We are a team! Teams work together. I feel that I’m not carrying my weight (well, I’m carrying a different kind of weight—OK???) to contribute to the household.

I carry the weight of the world

Besides MY weight, I sometimes feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world around with me!

It’s such a shitty position to be in. I’m 60 years in. Corporations want young blood that is cheaper and less prone to medical issues. It’s better for a young employee to call up on a Monday with a hangover than for an older employee to call in with a back issue. Am I right???

What to do? What to do????

I’ll tell you what to do! I’ll keep pluggin’ away. Never losing hope, I just do NOT give up! When Bonaparte and others ask me how “the interview” went. I’ll smile and cheerfully give them the answer I always do.

“Oh. It went really well!” “I thought about my answers and gave them honest and logical answers and added a touch of humor”. “I was myself!”

That’s right! Atypical60’s advice to all. Be yourself! Always! Never, ever, ever be anyone else. Don’t try.

Be yourself. Faults and all!

Like Popeye, “I yam what I yam” Always be yourself!

At some point between now and when I’m 90 and sauntering around in stilettos and a walker, someone is bound to hire me!

Me at 90

I’ll still be hopeful at 90! Ripples, wrinkles and all!

OFF TOPIC MOMENT:  Remember how I wrote about getting that great extra-large Longchamp Weekender bag at CDG Airport for a steal of 49.50 Euros???? I saw a much smaller Longchamp Le Pliage bag for $99.00. YES! I’m even happier over my airport buy!

The Magic of Rondini and Working the Soldes.          Click on the link..I’ve got my Longchamp bag in that post!

Longchamp bag at TJ mazz for 99.00

TJ Maxx. $99.00. Trust me, that’s still a really good price for this bag!

Enjoy this beautiful Sunday! Oh. Today’s song is one that I’m actually listening to on the radio. I have to tell you, we listen to “Nostalgie” radio when we’re in the car in France. I found out through the website and blog “Comme Un Francaise” that the radio station could be uploaded/downloaded on your phone.

Comme Une Francaise Blog!

I love it. Here’s France Gall singing “Résiste”. She’s got something about an egoist in the song too—I need to build my ego up!


About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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9 Responses to A Different Kind of Hard On!

  1. Jean says:

    Sorry about the job hunt stress. A good cry is cleansing and you’ve maintained your great sense of humor. Something will turn up. As to the creeping weight, can’t advise either. I’ve recently hung this in my pantry hoping it will serve as a reminder when I start looking around in there.
    “It’s all fun and games till your jeans don’t fit anymore”
    So far, not working

  2. Catherine says:

    Hi Jean–I think the worst part about the job hunt stress is the age thing! I swear “ageism” is the new racism! All those ism’s! My guide to life is to find something to laugh at about yourself every day. If I cannot laugh at myself who can I laugh at? But a good cry IS cleansing! Can I take your quote and print it out and place it in my pantry? Pretty Please??? XOXOXO!

  3. Jean says:

    Ageism is no doubt a real thing! My husband worked many years in a large corporation and they rarely let anyone stay on after 50, for crying out loud. How he managed to hang on till 60 I’ll never know. Take the quote, and may it work better for you. Actually my husband opened the pantry this morning and asked if he “could take that damn sign down”. I of course said no because I’m pretty it’s going to work today.

  4. Catherine says:

    Thank you! Thank you! I’m also glad you are able to see that there IS an ageism issue in this country because many don’t think there is–Just wait till they hit that “certain age”. LOL XOXOXO!

  5. Leslie Preston says:

    My jeans still don’t fit, and the fun and games ended last Christmas, Jean. LOL. I’ve been on a low-carb eating “lifestyle” for over 40 days, and I’ve lost four pounds! That’s it….four pounds! I’m not giving up, because I do feel better….even with major “muffin top.”

    Cathe, I think that at a “certain age,” you have to find jobs through connections. Somebody has to know someone who knows someone, etc., who can get you in the door. Sometimes, too, they might hire you part time at first. That’s still okay.

    I see you teaching a “blog writing” class at the local junior college. That’s where experience (age) works in your favor. (I’m not going to suggest retail work….ever…)

    For now, though, keep writing.

    If my husband saw this reply to your post, he’d say, “Did she ask you to solve this?”

  6. gk says:

    It’s so easy to get stressed over things out of our control! You’re such a great writer (and can draw too!) – can you teach a local class? Cooking, spreadsheets, writing…
    Maybe you should sign up with a local temp agency? Can be a good way to find a permanent job and you have such useful skills. Substitute teaching (that seems stressful to me, but you’re good with kids…)
    Glad you had a nice visit with your son! 🙂

    • Catherine says:

      Hi gk! I’m actually considering working with a temp agency. We’ll see what the outcome of that will be. Thanks so much for the suggestions and the positive feedback. It’s nice to read on a Monday morning!!XOXOXOXOXOXOXO!

  7. Gerry C. says:

    Bravo. I enjoyed sharing a hard on with you. Your style is whimsical, infectious, humorous and of course entertaining. Always be yourself because Y O U are important and not a superficial facade you might manufacture. Thanks for sharing. Enjoy the day. 🙂

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