In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “You’re a Winner!.”
Hi All! A mini post challenge has my delusions going in all directions as to what I would do if I won a BILLION bucks, TAX FREE NO LESS, in the lottery.
Do you really want to know what I would do?? Here goes…
1. Retain the best attorney I could find. I would need her to protect me from all the people who turned their backs on me when I lost everything and would be ringing my doorbell for help as soon as they found out I won.
2. Move back to New York City. Best apartment I could find on the Upper East Side. I love the City–I miss it, and I got kicked out due to the rising expenses and greed that turned NYC into a place that only the wealthy could exist comfortably in.
3. Check myself into Columbia Presbyterian Hospital. Ever the hypochondriac, I would have a complete CAT scan, tons of testing. Then I would get my lady parts replaced.
4. Purchase homes for all three kids and create trust funds for them. AND pay off Oona’s student loans. I would never want my kids to struggle. I’m still feeling guilty for not being able to help them due to becoming a woman without a home and having to get out of massive credit card debt due to divorce. That sucked!
5. Since I have that “hair” issue, I would have a couple of great wigs made..and I would get the best hair extensions to fill in the bald spots too!
6. Hire a personal trainer so that I could get into shape without depending on “shapewear”! Actually, I WOULD be getting into great shape by living in NYC because I would WALK everywhere. Just like when I lived in NYC years ago and was a good 30 pounds lighter because I DID walk everywhere!
7. Set up a college fund for Bonaparte’s granddaughter so she would not have the burden of student loans. God only knows what the cost of higher education will be when this five-year-old child gets ready for college.
8. Purchase a villa in the Cote d’Azur. This way ALL the kids could come over in the summer and spend their vacays with us. On a more deeply shallow side, their wedding announcements would be so cool because it would state that their mother lives in BOTH NYC AND the Cote d’Azur! So very “New York Times”!
9. I would have my teeth bonded into the pearliest whites ever–you would need to wear sunglasses when I smile–but I would absolutely keep my beloved fang. Nobody files my fang–it’s equal to Alfalfa’s cowlick!
10. I would make a sizeable contribution to Wounded Warriors. They don’t get enough support from our government that takes advantage of them then disposes the wounded like trash when they come home.
11. Invest so my kids would be taken care of after I’m dust in the wind.
12. Oh. I forgot. I would get a face lift. NOT fillers. An actual face and turkey neck lift.
I will not change the world. I am not giving all my winnings away. I’m keeping those winnings close to my heart and my family. I am unemployed with no chance of any corporation hiring me due to my age. Wounded Warriors is my charity of choice my family being my other charity!
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