I guess you’d Say
Oprah and Me are doin’ OK!
Cloud Bread. Talkin’ ’bout Cloud Bread. Cloud Bread!
If the Temptations knew about Cloud Bread, they would have changed the lyrics!
Oprah loves bread. Oprah sure makes a lot of bread too. Now that she’s got a ten percent steak stake in Weight Watchers, she’s probably got more bread than she can handle!
Bitch is bragging about the 25 pounds she lost.
Still. She eats that bread every day!
Yeah, well. Good for you Oprah! I can have Cloud bread every day! BTW are you talking about bread you eat or money?
I love bread. I love bread so much that if Bonaparte went away, I’d let his batard get stale. And then—use your imagination. THAT’S what I would do! That’s how much I love bread!
Its “batard” not “bastid”–although that’s what I refer to it now that I can’t have it!
But ever since doing the “Whole 30” (although I’ve done it “lite”) five unwanted pounds of me has dissipated. It isn’t easy though. The weight is coming off, but is coming off very slowly. I’m taking it in baby steps.
Poor Bonaparte. I know it will be a long time till my ass looks thinner so I greet him with this question every morning!
We have no processed food in the house. (Well, except the little pre-made quiches that Bonaparte enjoys with his aperitifs.) Green shakes are my friend and I’m paying attention to my portion sizes.
FYI–just in case you’re interested, these taste MUCH better when made with spinach rather than kale! You are quite welcome!
The bread thing. Crusty on the outside. Chewy on the inside. Warm out of the oven and slathered with butter. Oh—how I miss it. But—since giving up gluten, I feel so much better. My stomach isn’t bloated and I’m not getting cramps either. I also have less gas–and that makes everyone around me much happier! But I’ll tell you. I’m really missing bread!
No gonna lie. I miss this shit!
Anyway, I one of my friends posted a recipe for cloud bread on Facebook. I became quite intrigued. Gluten free. Just a bit of dairy. Hmmmmm. I needed to research this.
This recipe from Food.com is just one of the many hundreds of recipes for Cloud Bread!
What I found is that this little fluffy bit of happiness is also called Oopsie Bread.
I had to make this. And I did. Earlier in the week I baked a batch. I got about ten small slices/rounds/whatevers. They didn’t taste like bread at all. They didn’t taste very eggy either. But in the weirdest way, the Cloud bread satisfied my need and desire for regular gluten-filled and glorious regular bread! BTW, Bonaparte almost cried. He said “eezz dee-zug-zteen” to call that merde bread. And, no. He didn’t sample a taste.
Since I wanted to save what I didn’t use, I stored the other pieces in a large Ziploc bag. Quite honestly, this is better eaten the day you bake it. Second day was ok, but any later and the bread gets very mushy.
So here’s how I made it:
I spooned three tablespoons of room temperature whipped cream cheese into a small bowl.
I like the whipped cream cheese because it’s not as dense.
I separated three large eggs, also at room temperature. I plopped the yolks into the bowl with the cream cheese and the whites into the bowl of my Kitchen Aid.
Yolks with the cream cheese.
Egg whites into the bowl of the Kitchen Aid. Ugh. It looks more like a sample for the doctor! Don’t worry–it isn’t!
The cream cheese and yolks were whisked until completely blended and smooth…
…a pinch of Cream of Tartar was added to the egg whites….and
The whites were whipped until stiff but not dry. Make sure that you don’t over whip the egg whites!
The yolk mixture was folded into the egg whites. Fold gently because you want that air from the whites to be retained!
When the yolks, cream cheese and whites were blended….
Salt, Herbes de Provence, and pepper were added to the batter
I spooned six large rounds onto a cookie sheet that was covered with parchment paper. NOTE: Parchment is the greatest kitchen tool on earth for baking. No need to grease or get cookie sheets messy. It’s the lazy way to go! Trust me, I’m lazy!!!
Bake in a 300 degree oven. Preheat the oven while you’re making the batter. Bake for about 25 minutes. More or less depending on your oven!
Out of the oven and cooling off. They are nice and flaky when they are warm. They look like a cross between Momofuku Corn Cookies and little omelettes!
See the little flecks of pepper and herbes? I’ll have a couple for dinner and top them with avacado, cilantro and smoked salmon. It’s Lent and it is Friday so I’m doing the meatless thing. I’m making lamb chops for Bonaparte! I’ll tell you, Lent is a great way to ensure a meatless meal!
It’ll be fun to see what else I can do with these little Cloud breads. Melted cheese would be good or apple slices and peanut butter. Oprah may be eating real bread and taking her bread to the bank. For now, I’m pretty much ok with my little fluffy clouds!
Have a great, great weekend. Stay warm and safe–and why not give in to a bit of Temptations? I have to tell you, watching this video put me in a very melancholy mood. I love their moves!!