I guess you’d Say
Oprah and Me are doin’ OK!
Cloud Bread. Talkin’ ’bout Cloud Bread. Cloud Bread!
If the Temptations knew about Cloud Bread, they would have changed the lyrics!
Oprah loves bread. Oprah sure makes a lot of bread too. Now that she’s got a ten percent steak stake in Weight Watchers, she’s probably got more bread than she can handle!
Bitch is bragging about the 25 pounds she lost.
Still. She eats that bread every day!
Yeah, well. Good for you Oprah! I can have Cloud bread every day! BTW are you talking about bread you eat or money?
I love bread. I love bread so much that if Bonaparte went away, I’d let his batard get stale. And then—use your imagination. THAT’S what I would do! That’s how much I love bread!
Its “batard” not “bastid”–although that’s what I refer to it now that I can’t have it!
But ever since doing the “Whole 30” (although I’ve done it “lite”) five unwanted pounds of me has dissipated. It isn’t easy though. The weight is coming off, but is coming off very slowly. I’m taking it in baby steps.
Poor Bonaparte. I know it will be a long time till my ass looks thinner so I greet him with this question every morning!
We have no processed food in the house. (Well, except the little pre-made quiches that Bonaparte enjoys with his aperitifs.) Green shakes are my friend and I’m paying attention to my portion sizes.
FYI–just in case you’re interested, these taste MUCH better when made with spinach rather than kale! You are quite welcome!
The bread thing. Crusty on the outside. Chewy on the inside. Warm out of the oven and slathered with butter. Oh—how I miss it. But—since giving up gluten, I feel so much better. My stomach isn’t bloated and I’m not getting cramps either. I also have less gas–and that makes everyone around me much happier! But I’ll tell you. I’m really missing bread!
No gonna lie. I miss this shit!
Anyway, I one of my friends posted a recipe for cloud bread on Facebook. I became quite intrigued. Gluten free. Just a bit of dairy. Hmmmmm. I needed to research this.
This recipe from Food.com is just one of the many hundreds of recipes for Cloud Bread!
What I found is that this little fluffy bit of happiness is also called Oopsie Bread.
I had to make this. And I did. Earlier in the week I baked a batch. I got about ten small slices/rounds/whatevers. They didn’t taste like bread at all. They didn’t taste very eggy either. But in the weirdest way, the Cloud bread satisfied my need and desire for regular gluten-filled and glorious regular bread! BTW, Bonaparte almost cried. He said “eezz dee-zug-zteen” to call that merde bread. And, no. He didn’t sample a taste.
Since I wanted to save what I didn’t use, I stored the other pieces in a large Ziploc bag. Quite honestly, this is better eaten the day you bake it. Second day was ok, but any later and the bread gets very mushy.
So here’s how I made it:
I spooned three tablespoons of room temperature whipped cream cheese into a small bowl.
I like the whipped cream cheese because it’s not as dense.
I separated three large eggs, also at room temperature. I plopped the yolks into the bowl with the cream cheese and the whites into the bowl of my Kitchen Aid.
Yolks with the cream cheese.
Egg whites into the bowl of the Kitchen Aid. Ugh. It looks more like a sample for the doctor! Don’t worry–it isn’t!
The cream cheese and yolks were whisked until completely blended and smooth…
…a pinch of Cream of Tartar was added to the egg whites….and
The whites were whipped until stiff but not dry. Make sure that you don’t over whip the egg whites!
The yolk mixture was folded into the egg whites. Fold gently because you want that air from the whites to be retained!
When the yolks, cream cheese and whites were blended….
Salt, Herbes de Provence, and pepper were added to the batter
I spooned six large rounds onto a cookie sheet that was covered with parchment paper. NOTE: Parchment is the greatest kitchen tool on earth for baking. No need to grease or get cookie sheets messy. It’s the lazy way to go! Trust me, I’m lazy!!!
Bake in a 300 degree oven. Preheat the oven while you’re making the batter. Bake for about 25 minutes. More or less depending on your oven!
Out of the oven and cooling off. They are nice and flaky when they are warm. They look like a cross between Momofuku Corn Cookies and little omelettes!
See the little flecks of pepper and herbes? I’ll have a couple for dinner and top them with avacado, cilantro and smoked salmon. It’s Lent and it is Friday so I’m doing the meatless thing. I’m making lamb chops for Bonaparte! I’ll tell you, Lent is a great way to ensure a meatless meal!
It’ll be fun to see what else I can do with these little Cloud breads. Melted cheese would be good or apple slices and peanut butter. Oprah may be eating real bread and taking her bread to the bank. For now, I’m pretty much ok with my little fluffy clouds!
Have a great, great weekend. Stay warm and safe–and why not give in to a bit of Temptations? I have to tell you, watching this video put me in a very melancholy mood. I love their moves!!
I’ve never heard of this ‘bread’ but if it fills a craving, then that’ll do for me! Bread (and cake) are my downfall too – truly nothing beats a quality piece of bread with fresh butter – so I admire your willpower. I’ve massively cut down on it, even removing it entirely for about a month at one point. But then I always have a massive relapse and try to cram as many loaves in as I can, in a record amount of time!
Haylee! Try this recipe then! It’ll kill the cravings! The willpower comes from vanity. I want to fit comfortably into my old clothing!!! If you give a shot at the recipe, let me know how it turns out! XOXO!!!
I will! Just need to find a recipe for zero calorie cake and biscuits! 🙂
Oh, come on girl, nice post, but time to go back and put the armour on 😀 The old warrior in me has been aroused, and while dilapidated and decrepit, I suppose there is still some life left in us old warriors. Won’t you join me?? 😀 Like the 60s, I promise you.. except a lot tougher enemy now.. my latest blog post was sort of nostalgia and envy.. and I was thinking of you as I was typing it.. I bet you would have joined me in this fight in a trice hahaha… Sorry to talk about all this.. it is mostly irrelevant to you and at the same time relevant because this kind of right-wing hooliganism is going on all over the world now.. and so the stupid comment here/… do frogive me 😀 mind is occupied with so much and I just can’t think of anything else…
Lol! Namaste my buddyroo! XOXO!!
Namastey to you too 😀 Thanks for not minding my OT nonsense 🙂
I actually saved this a few weeks ago…haven’t tried it yet!!!
Oh I can’t wait till you try it! It’s an easy peasy recipe! Let me know…XOXO!
😘😘
Those little fluffy clouds look really good. Thanks Catherine for sharing the recipe. A great weekend to you as well! 🙂
Hey Spear–and a great weekend to you too. Take care of yourself–you are always in my thoughts! XOXOXO!
I’ve cut out carbs and sugar since Thanksgiving. Anything bread is a downfall. Sugar now only I the flavored creamer – Italian Creme – I’m addicted. Anyway, really couldn’t see much difference, except in my face – why not my stomach for God’s sake? Went to Doc, no weight loss, not an ounce! Always had thyroid problems, but it is so screwed – seesawing wildly and she said no way I’ll lose until we get it taken care of. So, do I continue to be good or do I throw the willpower to the wind? Tell me this bread will keep me happy!
HI Dana. Ugh. The thyroid! I’ve been tested and retested and the doctors tell me my thyroid is fine. Although cutting out the carbs and sugar make me feel better, I’m with you on the weight loss. It’s coming across so slow. Don’t give up!!! You are not alone! XOXO!
Will try this cloud bread Catherine. I’ve been gluten free for 10 ten years out of necessity, and still miss bread! The other day my daughter and I (she’s gluten free too) were enjoying a slice of lemon drizzle cake and coffee in a lovely cafe. “This cake is delicious” I say. “Mmmmmm” she mumbles back, with her mouth full. “Even your dad would like this cake” I say. “You reckon?” she says doubtfully, “We’re not great at judging cake and bread any more Mum – we’re just droolingly grateful!”
Hi Suzy! My gluten-free journey started because of weight loss but I find that now it’s more for health reasons since I’m no longer experiencing the types of stomach issues that I was before. That isn’t to say I’m not going to cheat every now and then–your lemon drizzle cake is making me want some lemon pound cake with a bit of lemon curd right now! XOXO!
I’ve seen a lot of people are changing to gluten free. I’m not sure it’s something I could do myself lol
Faye–it ain’t easy!!! It just ain’t easy! XOXOXO!
I can only imagine lol
Love your riff on Oprah and bread! Great pictures too–especially the fluffy egg whites.
Thanks Mary! I want to write to Oprah and tell her I’ll trade my green shakes for her green bread! Something tells me she would not put my request into her favorite things! XOXOXO!
That is great, Catherine! We’re going in opposite directions, though. I recently found I’d gained eleven pounds. Turns out doughnuts are bad for me. Who knew?
Hi Bun. I have to say. Blogging has contributed to my weight gain. Sitting in front of a computer has caused every part of my body with the exception of my fingers to become thicker! XOXO!
That’s certainly what happened in my case. I have blogger’s bulge. 🙁
Oh Bun. I have “nowillpowergluttonyismymiddlename” bulge! XOXOXO!
I have a lot of sympathy. I simply can’t be in the same apartment as a doughnut, chocolate bar or piece of cake. 🙂
When I go to Italy and eat the fabulous crusty bread, I don’t gain a pound. If I do the same here, watch out scale! I’m convinced it’s the chemicals that they put in our food supply.
You know, I’m so glad that you brought that up about the bread. Whenever we are in France I eat the bread constantly and I don’t get bloated and I don’t gain weight. I believe it IS the flour they use overseas v. the flour we use here. I’m with you 100 percent on that train of thought! XOXOXO!
Thanks for the ‘white cloud’ recipe. There is something to be said about making from scratch the treats we enjoy – apart from putting in the effort (and cleaning up the mess), we actually know what goes into our food. Weight loss has always been hard for me – I have never been one of those lucky people who can eat anything they want and not put on weight. About six months ago, I realised I had put on a lot of weight http://www.thehipsterette.com.au/wordpress/?p=10306 and like you, Catherine, I am losing it, but the process is painfully slow (about one kilo or 2.5 lbs a month). But because it is slow (and painful) I am determined that this will never happen again. Once I get to my goal weight I intend staying there for the rest of my life!
Hipsterette. First of all, I want to thank YOU for adding that link. Your post was beautiful–and your honesty made me like you more than ever. (That segueway from Heartburn before your post–I may be using it). We all struggle and like you, I realized the weight that I put on was a lot. It IS a slow process to lose it but by losing our weight we are gaining health and a better outlook! Definitely try the recipe. It will help satisfy those pangs–and I agree wholeheartedly–baking from scratch is so much better! XOXOXO!
Of course you should use the ‘heartburn’ reference – the late Nora Ephron was a genius, wasn’t she?
Ephron was amazing!
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Hi Catherine
First of all, loved your account of the Oscars. Here in the UK the Oscars has gone behind a pay wall. All I do is read about it – but your account rocks!
Btw, get better soon. Here in this household my other half has had a dreadful cold which began with a sore throat – still unwell after 10 days 🙁 And me, I always look reasonable in my photos but actually I’m feeling rather low and very under par. It’s the season of viruses I think!!!
Bread. Just pure bliss really. Throw anything tasty that’s fattening on top and you’ve got yourself comfort. Cloud bread is a good alternative to though… 😛
LOL. It isn’t the same as good old home made gluten-filled bread but it is a most excellent dupe! XOXOXOXO!!!
This was a loveely blog post