We all know what last Friday was. It was the day #nevermypresident was sworn in as the 45th President of The United States.
Orange you glad you didn’t watch his inauguration? I know I am!
It was a sad day for many of us—especially those who voted for the woman who won the popular vote. Hillary Clinton. But—alas, America really isn’t a democracy when it comes to a Presidential election because of the electoral college. And this election was even less democratic because it was compromised by our President’s “friend” *wink*, *wink*, *nudge*—Vladimir Putin. (And just where was Vlad during the inauguration? My guess is that he had some “girls” sent over from Russia and they all waited in a hotel suite for Mr. President!)
Two big dick-taters sharing everything they possibly can. Maybe that should be “small” instead. Hurry up Mr. Orange. You need to get dressed for your inauguration!
Despite the sadness and the gloom over the inauguration, there is always a bright side. Um—no. I’m not talking a bright side to the next four years. I’m talking the bright side of the Inaugural Fashions.
And though I didn’t watch the ceremonies of the day or evening, like, Mrs. Kravitz, the nosey neighbor in the TV show “Bewitched”, I just had to snoop the internet to find out what this alternative truthful family, along with their friends, wore.
I’m just as appalled at some of the fashion choices as Mrs. Kravitz is (BTW, I like her, the ORIGINAL Mrs. Kravitz better!
Come along with me while I offer my honest opinions on some interesting ensembles and clothing choices. And I will not give you any “alternative facts”. I speak the truth! Let’s have a look-see!
And just like Mrs. Kravitz, I’m at my little window spying on the First Family. Oops! Can I say “spying”? I don’t want the CIA mens after me!
Mr. Not-My-President looks like he is about to shart. His pants are too short
Melanoma, Malaria, Mesopotamia, Medusa, Morocco,Malta, Mississippi,
Jesus, Mary and Joseph! While the First Couple of Grifters were enjoying their pre-inauguration dinner, Ivana was leaving New York City for D.C. She did attend the inauguration but I could not find any pictures of her ATTENDING this inauguration. What the hell is she wearing? Did she dye one of the wild animals her moron sons hunted? And that purse–I thought it was some sort of exotic blue melon with a handle! The shoes–OMG–they need to be polished and the hemline on those pants…have you ever heard of a tailor? The demim jacket under the blazer? Oh please. But always looking for a ray of sunshine, I love the updo and the lipstick!
The most unchristian Roman Catholic on earth! My good buddy Pope Francis doesn’t even like this guy. I think VP Pence is giving a “Heil Hitler” salute to Trump! Back to fashion–Mrs. Sickpence has a very ill-fitting gown. She is not wearing it. It is wearing her. Way too much fabric. Her titties are down to her waist. What’s with the saggy look? And the spaghetti straps with the droopy off-the-shoulder hanging fabric? And I thought the fashions at the Golden Globes were bad. You are the wife of the Vice President. Dress the part. Don’t dress like you are the mother-of-the bride at a trailer park. And put some blush and lipstick on for cryin’ out loud. Looking on the bright side. The color looks good on her. And that ain’t sayin’ much!
Oh look! It’s the big “Alternative Factor” herself. She looks stunningly beautiful!! Hahaha–I alternative facted! The dress doesn’t fit around the middle. And no amount of makeup would make that hag look anywhere near attractive. Her hair is dull and lifeless. She should wear a wig. Fake hair would really help her fake personality. I know–I wear fake hair all the time. Jeez–she really looks like a witch when she smiles. Satan in a gown. (Shhh. I’m actually like George Washington. I cannot tell a lie. I DO like the dress. But she’s such an ugly soul that I don’t like the dress on her. I should own that dress instead!)
One of the inauguration festivities. I love Tiffany Trump. She has that oh-so-slightly-slutty look. She’s my fave! The short in front-long in back look is so 2015! But I know why she’s smiling from ear-to-ear. She can drink till kingdom come and she’ll always be protected. We should have all been that lucky when we were her age! Ivanka. Why is she wearing emerald green? She’s not Irish. That look on her face says “Upper-East-Side-Paxil”. I know this. My friends and I were “Upper-West-Side-Zoloft” Mommy needs her meds. Is that little girl Ivanka’s daughter–or is it Wednesday Adams? We are ALL in mourning–but you couldn’t dress this child in a cheery ensemble? And the hair–maybe mommy Ivanka needs to start paying more attention to her little girl. Just sayin’
Ivanka and her brother Beavis –or is it Butthead–look like two zombies. Are you THAT upset that the Secret Service is now going to be up your ass 24/7. He may like that. This outfit of Ivanka’s. It says so much more than “fashion”. The asymmetrical lines remind of..they look so…the outfit looks like..
…it looks like an upside down KKK hood. Well, her daddy IS pretty friendly with some of these guys!
Here we have Barron Trump, my favorite girl Tiffany and Ivanka. Happy little siblings. Just like Bob Ross’s happy little trees! Barron has a nice head of hair and he doesn’t look too happy. I know why. Look at his shirt. The collar is way too big. And the tie. For God’s sake. Take this boy to Brooks Brothers and get him a proper fit. He’s the First Son! He has the makings of a prepster teen icon and he’s dressed like he has his first hangover! My adorable Tiffany DOES look slightly hungover. It’s ok Tiffany, I won’t let on that you were out in Georgetown tramping it up the night before. You’re a party girl. I like that! Ivanka changed the part in her hair. It looks much better but girl, get rid of that KKK suit!
I’m having “issues” with Ivanka as a mother. Look how she dressed her daughter for Inauguration Day Church. I realize they are Jewish but go out to Long Island. If you think for one second that any of MY Jewish girlfriends or my sister would allow their daughters in a synagogue on the High Holy Days in that outfit, you would be kicked out! Put a comb through your daughter’s hair! Or if you can’t be bothered, get her hair cut in a China Chop Bob! She would look precious with a cut like that, and a part on the side with a huge bow. Absolutely adorable. Do I see the hem of her dress hanging from under the coat? Ivanka. You have a clothing line. How can you allow your daughter to be dressed so sloppy? White coat, white tights? No, she should have either opague knee socks or ankle socks and patent Mary Jane shoes. Ivanka. Burgundy is becoming on you. But please, don’t wear a bathrobe to a church. You may have been in a hurry but you could have worn a dress. And the bag. Black would have been better. Are the shoes from your Ivanka Trump line? I dig the toe-cleavage!
Hill and Bill! Remember Hillary, YOU won the popular vote. But think how lucky you are now. Nobody can blame you for “alternative truths”!!! How come the republicans said you “lied” but they insist that Trump told “alternative truths”. BTW, your white outfit is more empowering. You look more like a doctor than a KKK supporter. That Ivanka–huh?
Oh shit! I almost had a heart attack at this scary sight! It’s Sataness again! She’s laughing with glee at all the “alternative facts” she will be spewing for the next four years. Jesus. Help me.
Kellyann Conway doesn’t even know what country she lives in. This is NOT Bastille Day you idiot! You are NOT one of Napolean Bonaparte’s Army. It’s bad enough you insult the people of America–now you’re insulting the French!
Yes. You CAN plagiarize an outfit–just like I stole this meme! Ralph Lauren hasn’t an original bone in his fingers. His big original Inauguration ensemble for
Monaco, Metz, Michigan Melania was a direct rip-off of the Oleg Cassini that my beautiful Jackie Kennedy wore. Mrs. Trump steals speeches and now clothing. Her hair looks fabulous though. And the light blue looks nice on her too. But her color still remains “nude”!
Michelle Obama always looks great. But this outfit isn’t cutting it with me. I’ve seen my Michelle in better. I don’t like the length of the coat. It would have been much better in a shorter length and there’s too much fabric. A tailored coat would have been perfect. I feel your sadness Michelle–I love the boots. And the hair. I love you!
Hold your horses! The Sloveian doesn’t have to place her hand over her heart to recite the Pledge?? That is so unAmerican. Oh wait. She IS unAmerican! Will her husband send her back in the box she was mailed to him in? You are First Lady now Melania. Respect the Pledge!
Ugh. Trump is so vile looking. Even his trophy wife can’t make him look better. But look! To the left! Tiffany’s booties! OMG. They look like they came from Forever 21! They are absolutely horrific with that coat. This makes me admire Tiffany even more…
I’m thinking she changed into the booties because these slutty shoes were too slippery on the church floor! She probably had the booties left over from all the Georgetown partying the night before. The coat is reminding me of one of those blankets with the satin trim at the top. Right? Tiffany–you might look a bit unkempt but trust me. You will end up the most popular member of this family. You need to write a book with your mom Marla. We’ll all buy it!
I’ll bet he needed lessons on how to behave in Church since I’m sure its been decades that he’s been in one. What’s with all the belted coats? Does no woman wear a classic tailored coat anymore? I think Melania will be praying that she can soon take all her clothes off and run naked through the white house. She’ll be more comfy!
Oh. Another Upper-East -Side Paxil mommy! Hey. If I had to wake up next to him in the mornings, I would be medicated too! The neckline of this gown is beautiful. As you move downward the dress turns from cute and hip to Mother-of-the-Bride. Not a youthful look. What’s with the Trump brother’s and the oil slick hair? What–are they Miami Vice fans?
Oh..I see now. They hunt animals and use the animal fat as hair dressing. NOTE to Trump brothers. I hope you get hunted down like this poor innocent animal did.
I’m thinking I need to be friends with Marla. I wish I could have seen the rest of her dress because if it is anything like what we are seeing–then Marla Maples gets the award for best dressed woman during the inauguration! The hair. The necklace. The neckline. I think Marla and Tiffany are the best mother/daughter team ever. Besides me and Oona! I love Tiffany’s lashes and that lady behind her seems to be having the time of her life!
Look at #nevermypresident’s hair. It’s so–umpresidential! Whats with the little crimson ribbon across
Stop the presses. Look who showed up at the Inaugural Ball! Kaitlin Jenner. Now she’s a woman with REAL balls! She is also a disgrace to the LGBT community to show up where equality will be a thing of the past. BTW, s/he looks awful. This type of dress doesn’t look flattering on a body with such broad shoulders. And the fillers–way too much and the makeup is horrible. On the bright side. That shade of blue is very flattering to Kaitlin. The purse is ridiculous. It doesn’t even match the shoes. Pewter shoes and a pewter bag would have added so much to this outfit!
Thank you Hollywood Life for this fabulous photo of the great Tiffany Trump! The gown looks so–Upholstery!! I want to cover a chair with this fabric. Tiffany–you’re so much fun. Keep smiling and keep having fun!!!
The First Family of Alternative Truths! Only in America. Ivanka’s gown. I think she’s going to recycle it for an evening Bar or Bat Mitzvah for her children. Or she’ll recycle it for the wedding of one of her children. I don’t understand why a young woman, who is very pretty would wear a matronly gown like that. Ivanka should be wearing what her stepmommy is wearing.
And my sincere thanks to my favorite designer Mr. Karl. Thank you for not dressing anyone for the inauguration. You’re my friend again!
I love you Mr. Karl! Even though I can’t afford your designs!
This is the second time I’m posting this song because it is how I feel every time I think of our #notmypresident and the congress. George Harrison with the prolific “Beware of Darkness”