Atypical60 Looks At The Oscars 2017!!

It was the worst of dressing. It was the best of dressing.  Not really, it was more of the worst of dressing.

We’ll get to that later.

I want to start by saying that I actually enjoyed the Oscars this year because of Jimmy Kimmel’s hosting ability.   He was sharp, funny, charming and cutting at the same time.

THE OSCARS(r) - The 89th Oscars(r)  broadcasts live on Oscar(r) SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2017, on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Eddy Chen) JIMMY KIMMEL

THE OSCARS(r) – The 89th Oscars(r) broadcasts live on Oscar(r) SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2017, on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Eddy Chen)
I honestly was surprised at what a great host Jimmy Kimmel was. He can definitely come back!

Justin Timberlake’s opening number was very entertaining. I love me an all-around great entertainer and Justin fits the bill so perfectly. He can dance—which, when the camera panned to the audience, is something the white actors and actresses cannot do.

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Timberlane should have performed ALL the nominated songs with his own touch. His opening number was fantastic!

They couldn’t even act how to dance. It was painfully funny to watch them. Thank you, Justin Timberlake, for being one of the small percentage of white people who can dance (I’m also one of them).

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Oddly enough, Elaine dances better than the majority of the white actors and actresses in the Oscar audience last night!

It was awful to sit through some of the speeches too.  Why can’t these people just say “Thank you” and walk off the stage. I don’t want to hear about you thanking your pre-school drama teacher nor do I want to hear you yap about the ice cream man’s effect upon your acting. OK?

The speeches are so self-serving.

I did like Casey Affleck’s acceptance speech. He seems like a very down-to-earth guy. I also love the way his acting is so subtle and not over-the-top.  Denzel Washington didn’t seem to like Casey’s speech. Or maybe my Denzel was pissed off that the Oscar didn’t go home with him!

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Jesus  Casey Affleck’s speech was one of the better ones. But Denzel looked really angry. Maybe Denzel came down with the stomach bug that I had and was “holding” things in!  Or perhaps a little birdie flew out of his wife’s bird’s nest hairdo and nibbled at my Denzel!

As much as I am in love with Viola Davis, her speech was eye-roll worthy.  Viola. Don’t take your Oscar acceptance speech too dramatically. You are not auditioning. You won!!  Enough with the emoting. I still love you!

viola-davis

Now THIS is the Viola I love to see. Smiling and beautiful. Viola–you looked too serious during the speech. Stop it.  Be the fun Viola!  I love you so much!

And speaking of speeches.  Why do they all have to give the cliché “This-award-belongs-to-everyone” spiel? Take the damn win gracefully. Thank the guy or woman who cast you. Thank the director, and for crissakes, thank yourself.

Here’s what I would say if I won an Oscar for acting:

Me: “Wow! I’m really surprised!” “Anyway, I would like to thank (insert casting agent here) for casting me. And I would also like to thank (name of director) for really bringing out the best in me. I hope I didn’t disappoint you.  I also want to give myself credit for working hard and having a stellar work ethic. It isn’t every day that you have an employee like me on set” “I work hard for what I have and it shows”. “Again. Thank you”.

And then I would walk off the stage.  I would not thank God because when I wake up every morning I thank him.  I would not thank my kids because as much as I love them, I am thankful to them every day.  I wouldn’t thank Bonaparte either unless he gave me back my credit cards!

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NOTE TO HOLLYWOOD CASTING PEOPLE! HERE I AM!  Look at ME!  See the many different facets and emotions I put forth. I’m happy. Pensive. Mysterious. Angry. Sad. Scared. Thoughtful. Playful. Adorable.  Old.  Mature. OK. I look more like the neighborhood crazy lady. But who cares. I’m an ACTOR!!!

And what about the snafu with best picture. I should have stayed awake a bit longer but as soon as the wrong “best picture” was announced, I shut off the remote and went to sleep. I know every single person who saw “Hidden Figures” said that was the movie that should have won.  Well, at least “La La Land” did not win. I liken it to “Birdman” with songs and white people bad dancing.

The actor, Mahershala Ali who won for Best Supporting Actor–people were all goo-goo over the fact he was the first Muslim actor to win the Oscar. I’m really getting annoyed with the labels.  Who. Cares. What. Religion. He. Is.  Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Athiest. Why does his belief get a mention. The man can act. Let’s believe he won the Oscar because of his acting ability and not the fact he’s a Muslim. He’s also cute.

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Yeah Mahershala Ali. I really could care less what your religious beliefs are. I just care about you as an ACT-OR!!!

This could have been a conspiracy you know.  I think the younger powers-that-be in Hollywood sabotaged Beatty and Dunaway because of their older age. Yeah. Ageism runs rampant. In Hollywood, you are ancient at 40. Beatty and Dunaway are close to 80 if not already there.  I’m sure they were made to look senile. Yeah. I’m pretty sure they were sabotaged!

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Hollywood doesn’t like THIS version of Bonnie and Clyde. They are too old….

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Hollywood likes THIS version better.  The version without Faye’s bad plastic surgery!

But you know what really bothered me?  The fact that the American entertainment press as well as The Academy never congratulated Isabelle Huppert on her Cesar win for best actress in the film “Elle”—of which she was nominated for an Oscar.

Huppert won the Cesar Friday evening. I’m sure she was enjoying some very expensive French Champagne and wine afterwards.  Then she had to get on a plane and fly to L.A.  Then she had to get all dolled up for the Oscars. Not one reporter mentioned her Cesar win.  These are supposed to be well-informed journalists and yet, nobody could be the good American and congratulate her! Shame on the press!

isabelle-huppert-a-recu-le-cesar-de-la-meilleure-actrice-durant-la-42eme-ceremonie-des-cesar-a-la-sa_exact1024x768_l-copy

Isabelle Huppert with her Cesar award!  She looks fabulous in green. She looks fabulous period!

I congratulate you Isabelle!  I love you!

But let’s get to the good stuff. Let’s get to the fashions or lack thereof.

It never ceases to amaze me at how awful these actresses (Yes. I’m being sexist. They are females and I am referring to them as actresses) can look at a major event.  Their stylists really need to be fired. Terminated. Let go.  I should be hired instead.

Let’s have a look-see.

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Huppert at the Oscars. She looked a little tired–considering she probably partied all night after WINNING that Cesar that nobody congratulated her on!  Her Cesar dress was much better.  This dress would have been better in a brighter color but I’m not crazy about it. It’s bland. She should have gone with a more fitted dress because she has a great body!

52327807 Celebrities attend the 89th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood & Highland Center in Hollywood, California on  on February 26, 2017.  Celebrities attend the 89th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood & Highland Center in Hollywood, California on February 26, 2017. Pictured: Kirsten Dunst FameFlynet, Inc - Beverly Hills, CA, USA - +1 (310) 505-9876 RESTRICTIONS APPLY: NO FRANCE

Kirsten Dunst. Hands down. THE best dressed of the evening. This Dior is a knockout. Look at the shape the dress gives her. I LOVE the fact the hem is shorter in the front showing off those great shoes. A throwback to the glamour of the 1950’s. What a great look! This is the best Dunst has ever looked!

89th Annual Academy Awards held at the Dolby Theatre at the Hollywood & Highland Center Featuring: Viola Davis Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 26 Feb 2017 Credit: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com

My second-best dressed of the evening. Viola. OMG. She looks so freakin’ beautiful in this bright shade of red. And the dress is simple and the cold shoulder is so perfect for her. She is so beautiful that I can’t stand it!

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Taraji P. Henson must have read my Grammy blog post. She looked awful that night but she did a complete turnaround. She’s my Number 3 Best Dressed. OMG! I LOVE this dress. The shape of the dress, the neckline, the slit, the velvet–it works so well. And the shoes!  And the hair. Thank you Taraji for listening to me. You can fire your old stylist and hire me. OK?

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What an incredible transformation from Grammy night–huh?

Hailee Steinfeld. Another Best Dressed. I love watching her on the red carpet because she always gets it right. This dress is so fresh and adorable and youthful. It is perfect for a younger woman and she just looks like a princess in it.  She’s one to watch!

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OK. She isn’t an actress but Robin Roberts looked better than 95 percent of the actresses at the Oscars. She looks like a pretty gold statue. And guess what? Robin did gold RIGHT! She has a great skin tone for a gold dress. Very Cleopatra.

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Shirley Maclaine is still looking good. She’s in her 80’s. She looked very classy…Charlize Theron is another issue….

HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 26:  Actor Charlize Theron attends the 89th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood & Highland Center on February 26, 2017 in Hollywood, California.  (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

I swear Charlize Theron wants to underplay her natural beauty. She, one of the most beautiful women on earth, looked terrible in this dress. It looks like an old lady formal dress. It’s frumpy.  And the hair. WTF?  Was she trying to channel her inner Ethel Mertz..

ethel-mertz-copyHey. I’m a HUGE fan of Ethel Mertz. But really, I do think Theron was trying to emulate the hairdo!

ginnifer-goodwin-ruth-negga-oscars-2-0579f4ab-65a6-4782-8719-71696c5b2473-copy-copyCan someone please explain to me why Ruth Negra and Ginnifer Goodwin look more like Sister Wives than elegant women? Are they both in a movie about Amish rebels? Red is a great color for both women but both of these dresses are not stylish and too fussy. Some stylists should be shown to the door…

octavia-spencer-worst-dress-copyOctavia Spencer is not a frail woman. She should not be wearing a dress that cuts her body in two.  First of all, this dress is too high-waisted and cuts her right under the bust. Like Adele, Spencer needs a princess style that is slightly fitted at the waist but doesn’t cut. She needs simple lines. She would look great in a three-quarter sleeved dress with a similar neckline but a more simple cut.  She would also look better with a longer bob.  Let me dress you Octavia. Let ME dress you!

nintchdbpict000304938638-copyShe may be the world’s greatest actress but she’s a lousy dresser! Put some sexy Sophie into your event dressing please!  This dress is just ill-fitting and the bottom has too much material. The color is great though. An updo would have been much better!

images-copyIs it a tassel?

nintchdbpict000304915681-copyNO!  It’s Emma Stone and her pretend lisp!  OMG. This dress is hideous. The color is a bit like what came out of my body near the end of my stomach bug.  This young woman does NOT have the coloring for a dress this color.  The sweetheart neckline is unattractive on her. She needs a higher neck. The dress is too fussy. This is wrong on so many levels.  

f071264b4202549dd5f7763e28a141f7-copyIs it my grandmother’s doily?  

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No! It’s Nicole Kidman and her overly-Botoxed face!  Again. We have a pale woman and a dress that washes her out.  The lipstick isn’t making you look any better Nicole. I was watching Robin Roberts interview and your lipstick was so smeared you looked like Bette Davis as Baby Jane!  The sad thing is, this dress is beautiful. In a darker color like an emerald green and she would have rocked it….

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There are no words… this dress is so horrible that I can’t even..

leslie-mann-belle-dress-oscars-2-copyBut I can with this monstrosity! I call this color “The Bile That I Threw Up When My Stomach Bug was in the Upper Part of My Body”. Do these women even so much as glance in a mirror?  This dress is wearing Leslie Mann. She is NOT wearing it! And it looks like a teenaged prom dress. It’s horrific!

janelle-monae-oscars-dress-2017Another example of beautiful woman in ugly dress!  Janelle Monae is so beautiful–and even more so now that she isn’t sporting that pompadour hairdo!  Is she trying to look like Marie Antoinette?  Perhaps she’s hiding cake under the bottom of the dress.  There’s just too much going on here.  If the bottom of the dress was slim and sheer with a nude underlay, it would have been beautiful.  She’s a walking “Hidden Figure” under this thing!

bieber-johannsenHey girl, is it Justin Bieber?

nintchdbpict000304913224-copyNo!! It’s Scarlett Johansson as Justin Bieber in a gown! Good Lord. What did that Frenchman DO to her?  Scarlett. Please. For the sake of us all, please go back to the sexy vamp Scarlett!!  This look is not becoming on you. At all. 

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The extremism in Hollywood is so disturbing to me. Either titties are hanging out like two pink-tipped buoys floating in the sea or these women are covered up like Amish pastor’s wives. I’ve seen NUNS show more skin!  Is the apron so you can cook with Wolfgang Puck at the after party?  This dress is like the mistake Trump’s parents made when he was conceived!  And the hair.  Did Dakota Johnson start co-washing instead of using shampoo?   I’m scared of this look. Seriously.  This dress is 50 Shades of Shit!

felicity-jones-dior-couture-dress-oscars-2017What is it with pale ladies and dresses that wash them out. GET A FAKE TAN IF YOU WANT TO WEAR A DRESS LIKE THIS!!!    I think my grandmother wore a similar dress to my Baptism some 60 years ago.  And the shoes. I don’t even see painted toes! Felicity Jones has had more worse looks than good ones. She needs to either fire a stylist or hire one!  

rs_1024x908-170226133434-1024-giuliana-rancic-2017-oscars-awardsLast of all we have Guiliana Rancic. This dress was the topic of conversation last night. Bonaparte loved it on her and thought she looked beautiful. I was talking to Oona on the phone and she couldn’t stand the dress. I’m on the fence. There’s a lot of fabric but I love the color on her. And she looks great in the one-shoulder Grecian look gown. Her hair and makeup are perfect.  I’m really in the middle.

That’s it!  Fashions were mostly on the bland side.  The one WOW dress was Dunst’s.   I need to think of what I’ll wear on the red carpet when I start interviewing these people who are more self-centered than me! 

jenner-etcI almost forgot. Kristin, Brad and Kriss were the red carpet crew on E. At least Kristin’s boobs were in their places.  Brad’s tux was bland. And at least Kriss got rid of her butch “do”. She must have read my posts about her red carpet looks. That dress of hers brings attention to those hips of hers. She needs a stylist–and not her daughters as stylists either.  I’ll dress ya Kriss!!!

Here’s a great one from Danny Kaye “The King’s New Clothes”!  Very appropriate!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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23 Responses to Atypical60 Looks At The Oscars 2017!!

  1. Nancy says:

    Great post! I watch the Oscars every year–great ending to an otherwise boring ( except for the tourists–that was great! ) evening. For my money, the best dress all night was Halle Berry’s! Classy and sexy at once!! She rocked it! And I don’t like her that much but I loved her gown!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Nancy, Oh..I did like Berry’s dress. A lot. But I have to tell you, as much as I love natural hair, I think she was wearing a wig because her hair looked a tad “crooked”. Trust me. I know wigs! She’s a great beauty though. I wish I had seen that snafu with the best picture though! XOXOXOXO

      Like

  2. Gastradamus says:

    That was quite the review, thanks for sharing. My writing has been coming along, the blog is continues to blossom. I will never forget you. You were one of my first followers and you will be taken care of. Weve got a new one called eaten an Eskimo and as always, we would love to have your feedback. I thought Jimmy Kimmel did a great job hosting. I still think Hacksaw Ridge was the best film nominated

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Gassy! Wait. The new blog is “Eaten an Eskimo”? I need to check this out. Kimmel was great..and I am intrigued by this Hacksaw Ridge film. I’m also intrigued by Mel Gibson’s “comeback” of sorts. Hopefully, he has learned to keep his mouth shut about certain subjects. I’m gonna check out the new blog! XOXOXOXO!!!

      Like

  3. Thanks for the run down on the oscars. I am going to have to out with Charlize and teach her how to dress. Although I love Danish women too much. But i can make an exception. Yes Isabelle Huppert won too bad she did not win the Oscar. c’est la vie. And yes she was drinking Champagne. Nice post Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Dude!! Ugh. Charlize needs to either learn TO dress or undress–like in the J’adore perfume ad! I really wished that Huppert would have won the Oscar–instead it went to a one-dimensional, pretend-lisped, limited-range sort-of actress–Emma Stone!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Casey Affleck may be a good actor but by most accounts a terrible human beings who settled two cases of sexual harrassment from colleagues in recent years. But who cares about the women, would you look at his body of work! Tosser.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Wow, I had no idea that Casey was brought up on charges of sexual harrassment. I’m going to have to read about that. Who cares about the women? Obviously Hollywood does not or “Hidden Figures” would have won for Best Picture!! XOXOXO!!!

      Like

  5. KB says:

    I was waiting for this post! So many 1970s prom dresses and sequined nightgowns! I agree about the color of Emma Stone’s dress–that color is hard to wear unless you’re the inside of a diaper. But I did love the design. And there’s something so Stepford about Kidman. They didn’t even program her to clap correctly. They need to program her to age gracefully. At least we weren’t treated to any barely-there dresses that looked like they were made of gold crochet pot holders or maracme plant hangers. Quite the opposite trend seems to be happening. Sign of the times that we feel the need to cover up?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      OMG. KB Did you SEE Kidman clap? It was akin to Eddie Murphy clapping “Hercules, Hercules” in The Nutty Professor. She’s an mystery to me. It looks like she was great in Rain but outside of the movies she’s in she looks completely plastic. It’s weird. The dresses are so extreme–either all lady parts are hanging out or the dresses look like Amish cult wives dresses. The dresses need to be bi-partisian!!! XOXOXOXO!!!

      Like

  6. Gracie says:

    Amen to it all! You Are spot on with everything you wrote. Love it!

    Like

  7. kathylcsw says:

    Hidden Figures should have won best movie.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Kathy. Every single person I know who saw Hidden Figures said the same thing. My daughter Oona said it was one of the greatest films she’s ever seen. I’m upset I haven’t seen it yet but it’s been a whirlwind here. I’m confused as to why these women were never brought up in history classes. I can’t wait to see it!! XOXOXOXO!!!

      Like

  8. calensariel says:

    I laughed SO hard at your tassel comments about Emma Stone I actually peed on the chair!!! Damn you, woman!!! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  9. angelin2014 says:

    I agree with you on most dresses, Catherine – but not Charlize, I thought that dress was okey. And Halle Berry looked pretty good. BUT that Taraji-woman (don´t know who she is, but then I´m Swedish) looks too much. “Tits OR legs” not both in the same dress is classy for me. I don´t know if you saw that part with the tourist group who were conned to enter the Ceremony? Apart from the fact that most of the group was so rude and stupid with their Iphones and selfie-sticks, I told the Teenage Ninja that if that happened to me when he and I were in Hollywood, I would´ve screamed “Viggo!” (Mortensen) and if he had hugged me I would´ve fainted in his arms! Daydreaming ofc:))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Catherine says:

      Angelin. Taraji’s outfit for the grammy awards was so horrific that anything looked better! I did love that dress on her though. You bring up a good point though. It’s like wearing too much jewelry. Now I’ll be obsessed with the tits and legs on dresses!!! Charlize’s dress was just not doing it for me. But it’s fun to see that we can have different thoughts.
      I can’t believe you said that about the tour group! I thought they were rude with the phones too, In fact, I’m still a bit skeptical that they were “regular” people. Part of me thinks it was staged. Oh. If I saw Viggo, I would be fighting with you to get a hug. I LOVE him!!! XOXOXOXO!!!

      Like

  10. LA CONTESSA says:

    THE BEST was the TOURIST BUS!
    I AGREE with you on most of the dresses but I did like the yellow/mustard on the GAL with the sweet voice!I THOUGHT IT SUITED HER.AS FAR AS THE MIX UP………I HAD A PREMONITION JUST MINUTES before it happened!!!!!!!!!!I DID!
    XO

    Like

  11. patricia blaettler says:

    The clothes gotta fit right! In both of Taraji’s photos, they are TOO TIGHT! It’s clear she’s got a rockin’ body. She would look far better just relaxin’ in something beautiful and comfortable. Her boobs look like they’re trying to make a getaway.

    Like

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Patty! LOL! I need to study that pic of Taraji a bit better. Her boobs do look a bit like they are trying to escape! It’s funny because her Grammy outfit was so horrible that I thought this one was just so much better and a great improvement!!! xOXOXOXOXO!!!

      Like

  12. Yvonne says:

    Always spot on – I want you to come and go through my wardrobe and show me how to contour. Nicole Kidman is so plastic – can’t act,can’t dance and can’t sing. Just married Tom Cruise. She has always clapped like a seal. There is nothing about her that is not completely orchestrated including her marriages. I remember years ago she said to a US paper that she loved watching the Academy Awards growing up in Sydney with her sister when she was young and that they would put on their flannelette nighties and sit by the heater. Someone forgot to remind Nicole that its summer in the Southern Hemisphere in March and most people will be sitting in their tshirt and thongs with the air conditioning on. Only film I have seen was La La Land and it was too long. Loved the opening scene because I miss the glare of the coastal sun and it was so well captured in that traffic jam. There was a white overweight man in that scene who danced up the back and was completely out of time which I thought was hilarious though not sure it is politically correct to stereotype white overweight males of course!!

    So much fun to see Ethel Merman and some of my very favourite times were watching I Love Lucy with my Nana. And I also loved the movie Hans Christian Andersen with Danny Kay and his Tubby the Tuba.

    Like

  13. Q.D says:

    As a high school drama teacher, my kids all know that when they collect a major award they had better be thanking me for getting them there! 😀

    Like

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