Good Morning! I’m a F&*()ing Mess!

Hi everyone!

Oh, dear God. The video saga is horrific.  As you know, I started a YouTube channel. The channel is named after the blog.  It’s always a good idea to expand the community—especially since I am trying to expand and monetize the blog. Income is needed and I am giving myself until March to try.

Yes!  Yesterday turned out not to be the day from Hello! It turned out to be the day from Hell!

Some people have that Midas touch.  I have the Merdest touch.

True dat!  I have the Merde touch!

So anyway, I was very confident after posting my first video.

I became even more confident and decided to post a video on how to bake bread.  My initial idea was to have a fun video of me going through the steps that I do when I make bread, but with a little fun and humor thrown in. Simple enough.  And I made six little video clips that could be merged together to make one video.

This is how I looked when I started my day.  Take a good look!!

YouTubers do it all the time.  I could do this!

Instead—I couldn’t.  You see, YouTube discontinued their application to merge videos together.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?  It’s bad enough that my favorite beauty products always end up discontinued—and now freakin’ YouTube discontinues the only element that could have helped me to merge video clips?  And they discontinued it three weeks ago. Three weeks before I decided to make videos. Apparently, since Google purchased YouTube, it’s all about third-party and purchasing Chromebook now.  What a racket!

Now you know why everything I touch turns to merde!

I’m no technical person.  In fact, I’m technically-challenged.  And there are no programs out in cyberland for people who are as challenged as I am.  I researched high and low.  I downloaded one program that turned out to be so difficult that I ended up crying and wishing I had my happy pills back.

Whhhhaaaaaa!!! I’m a SIMPLE person. Therefore I need a SIMPLE program. Is that too much to ask for?

I uninstalled it.

Then I did more research and read about the program Filmora.  Rave reviews about the simplicity of this program made my happy temperature rising. I was pumped.  And so, I purchased the program and installed it.

And at one-o’-clock in the morning, I was sitting at this laptop, tears streaming down my face, sobbing and speaking in tongues because, as easy as the reviews said it was, I was still unable to carry out the simplest procedure of merging videos together. Bonaparte came downstairs, put his arms around me, and I broke down in his arms.  He gently shut my computer off and led me upstairs where I argued with him that I would never get to sleep because I was so wound up.  I fell asleep within five minutes.

Remember that photo of me at the top of the post?  The one where I looked confident and pretty?  Well, this was me at the end of the day!

Microsoft Word discontinued their video merging and I currently stand at a loss.  And the worst thing about it is that I’m so angry now that I can’t focus on anything else.  I need to take a bath. I need to brush my teeth. I need to put deodorant on because I stink to high heaven. If I go another day without shaving my legs, I’ll be able to braid the hair below my knees!  But I don’t care.  I don’t care because I am determined to figure this out if I have to go a week without sleep.

Add to the non-shaved legs, I need a pedicure and a fake tan. I am a hot mess!

And what disappoints me the most is that I wanted this project to be fun.  Filming this stuff is fun. I get a kick out of it.  It allows me to go a step further than just writing.  It brings a voice to my writing. It allows you to see how clumsy I truly am.  And I want you to see that.

So, I’m asking you for the gift of patience while I figure this $hit out. I’m angry with Word for discontinuing a simple procedure. I’m pissed off at YouTube for discontinuing a feature that would have been so easy and so advantageous to a beginner.  I’m upset at Filmora for not having the support that it should have.

Have you ever been determined to do something that it almost drives you crazy?  That’s how I feel right now.  I just cannot understand why something so simple as merging a few video clips together has to be so complicated?

Sometimes progress sucks.

Here’s the first of the videos that I’m trying to piece together. The rest get funnier and informative and Chippy makes an appearance!  So, while I’m trying to figure it out, take a look and enjoy! This is the first part of the YouTube videos I tried to merge.  The rest are in sequential order so you can go over to my youtube channel:  Atypical60

I was smart to pause the video and replay. I wasn’t so smart with the other installments but I’m working on it now. And will work on it until I get it right!

So I just want to thank you for your patience!

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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65 Responses to Good Morning! I’m a F&*()ing Mess!

  1. You ARE A TRIP!!!! Love Ya ❤🤣

  2. Shakemonkey says:

    OH NO!! I cannot believe the DAY YOU HAD?!! I am Very Sorry to hear of all the trouble that YouTube thing gave you!! I am SO NOT computer literate, so I am afraid I cannot help…but I think..could you have posted each video separately and type Video 1 and the Next one Video 2 and so forth? And maybe, people would know to keep watching….I don’t know….I hope you have a MUCH BETTER DAY TODAY Madame Bonaparte!!!!XOXOXOXO

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Shakey. I’m really having major issues. Now I’m getting an error that filmora can’t be installed on my laptop. I am ready to jump out the window!

  3. mareymercy says:

    Gurrrrrl I use Filmora and I can TOTALLY help you! Hit me up!

    • mareymercy says:

      Seriously, we could do a Skype call or something and go over the issues you’re having together. I went through a stage of trying out every film editor imaginable, and found Filmora to be one of the easier ones, but there is a learning curve. And editing video is a B-I-T-C-H. It requires a huge amount of your computer’s resources so that can be a real issue.

      • Catherine says:

        Thanks Cynthia. I may take you up on that. We’re leaving in a while to go to the store to see if I can get some sort of hard drive. It sucks. It sucks because all I want is a simple way to combine multiple videos. That’s all. It is something that should take minutes and so far it has taken over 24 hours with no end in site. Filmora won’t install on my laptop. It gets to 97 percent then I get a message to abort. It’s insane!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!

      • mareymercy says:

        I HAVE BEEN THERE! I felt the exact same way when trying to figure out video editing. Tears and all. It is very frustrating. Let me know if I can help!!!

    • Catherine says:

      I might get in touch with you tomorrow. Just got back from over two hours at Best Buy with the Computer Geek. He uploaded the software. I just have to figure it out now. It says “easy” but it’s easy for those who know what they are doing. I’m going to tackle it in the morning. In the meantime, I put the videos up on youtube in sequential order. I’m so pissed that youtube got rid of such a basic component. It’s all about the money!!! Thanks Cynthia. I appreciate your help so much!!! XXOXOXOXO!!!!

  4. Ugh, I feel your pain. I can’t tell you how many many days, when asked “What did you do today?” I had to answer “Nothing,” because I’d spent hours wrestling with technology without ever even starting the project I set out to do. Grrr!

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Hannah! OMG. I’m right there with you! It’s pathetic too because NONE of the programs are meant for those who don’t understand the technology. That’s why the youtube element was so great–it was simple and now it’s discontinued. Which proves that only the successful are wanted!!! XXOXOXOXO!!!!

  5. Marsha says:

    I love all your videos and posts because you are so REAL. I know I am not alone in my admiration of your gracious and candid sharing of your life. Keep the videos coming. I am not a whiz at technical stuff and am spatially challenged, and I demonstrate that every day. I recently joined Orangetheory, and more than once I’ve had to be instructed on how to re-wrap the heart monitor, and I do think the coaches have given up on me replicating the exercise moves and have just decided to let me do my own interpretive exercise as long as I am not injuring myself. I think that with age comes a definite freedom from wondering what others think. Your videos are so much more interesting than something a rigid professional would do.

  6. Susan D says:

    Sorry for your bad day, but the vlog here is great. Well done for your tenacity. Waiting for part II.
    Susan D

  7. 3C Style says:

    Technically-challenged? Believe me, I am even worst than you! So I cannot help you, unfortunately. I understand your frustration though but remember you are doing good Catherine and I know you will find a solution. You are one of the most determined woman I know. Meanwhile just publish the videos in sequential order on YouTube. We are enjoying them because of YOU remember!

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Dominique. I took your advice. They are on youtube in sequential order. The voice of reason comes to us from Canada!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

      • 3C Style says:

        You are so kind, but you had it figured out from the start. You are smart and wise, don’t you ever thought yourself my dear! Love y’a.

  8. hipchick66 says:

    No more tears! Give yourself credit for taking on something completely new, and give yourself time to learn. You are doing GREAT so far. Believe me, your quality is a lot better than thousands of videos on YouTube. It is not easy to do, it’s going to take time and a lot of patience. You will learn and you will get to where you want to be!

  9. Miss Bougie says:

    Doesn’t matter if you can’t merge the videos. I’ll take all of them as is, in sequential order. Marsha is right, you know? Much more interesting than coming from a rigid professional.
    Love what you did today; you are such a natural. It’s like hanging out with a friend! Am eagerly waiting for the next video.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi B! Yes. They are up in sequential order. I will figure the rest out later!!! I’m just glad I got to take a bath, shave my legs and put deodorant on. Oh..and I brushed my teeth too!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

  10. Momcat says:

    Awwww, for a moment there I thought I was going to read that a bunch of haters had posted nasty comments on the YouTube site and you were throwing in the towel:( so glad that’s not the case!) Chin up girl, you got this. It’s a learning curve for sure but others do it so you can too. I know your boys are busy but can they offer any help, advice assistance? There is NOTHING like a millennial for busting through the train wreck of modern technology. It’s true about the space taken on your hard drive when editing. My son is studying film editing at college and has built a massive computer with two hard drives and two monitors ( it’s meant for editing full length films but he has done some YouTube editing as well, and that kid is TWENTY!! I am telling you millennials have it coded in their DNA)
    Any way you have your friends here to support you, blogging or vlogging!! ( funny how spell check changes vlogging to vlog gin)… there is an idea… a vlog showing how to make those Kir Royales and the salmon rillettes…Mme Lartigue Domestic Goddess??

    • Catherine says:

      Oh Momcat!! Thank you for your support. Roman is supposed to call me later when he gets an SNL break! But yeah, I’ll definitely do a Kir Royale and Salmon Rilettes video for sure!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

  11. Juliet says:

    You know putting it up in sequential order is actually a great idea – it means any of us following along can stop and start, it also means that even my woefully slow wifi can cope with shorter snippets. I feel your pain hon – arguing with the inanimate always gets me into that state too (oh yeah, computers, iphone, husband, itunes…. yeah inanimate – not worth arguing with 😉

    as for the legs – there is only a short window of leg shaving in such a cold climate as Glasgow, really if you let it grow it may eventually look like woolly tights (so I am told 🙂 )….

    • Catherine says:

      Juliet. My voice is hoarse from all the yelling I did. But, be that as it may, I’m glad that I published the videos–they are all there for your ultimate entertainment and tonight after dinner, Bonaparte and I are going upstairs to watch one of my favorite movies of all time. He ordered it from Amazon for me. Barry Lyndon! I freaking LOVE that movie. I’m not a fan of Ryan O’Neal’s non-acting ability but he was great in Barry Lyndon. I can’t wait to watch it!!! My legs feel so good right now…………………XOXOXOXO!!!!

  12. Julie says:

    Sorry things got frustrating they will work out. Love you and tomorrows another day

    • Catherine says:

      Thanks Julie. Yeah. I published the videos in sequential order and am trying to figure out how to use the editing software I purchased. In the meantime, I’m just going to chill!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

  13. Mike says:

    Heya Cath, great job on the videos… You’re a natural. Also watched your wig-vid (just because…LOL) and the lighting is fine… Overall, you’re off t a great start. KUDOS! 🏆

  14. Laura says:

    I am really enjoying the videos, thanks for sharing and all the hard work!

  15. Love how real your posts always are. Your reality brings me giggles. Hope you have a perfect weekend and that you figure out all of the YouTube complications.

  16. Judy says:

    Love you whatever you do or don’t do. You have changed the lives of so many of us and it’s like a friend visiting on the iPad. I am a dunce at anything technical but I know you will achieve it. So, be good to yourself and keep going, girl, we need you! And just think of how you feel when you have cracked it! Xxxx

    • Catherine says:

      Awww.Judy! Thank you!!! Yeah, well, I did find out that the program is not compatible with my Windows so screw it–I’ll keep the videos in sequential order! I don’t want to take the time away from the blog!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!

  17. eveange33 says:

    Catherine, so good that you could finally publish all the videos in sequential order. You’re pushing yourself too hard on this! And your husband is very supportive and understanding : sometimes it is more important to take one’s time than to achieve. So don’t worry, you’ll do great. You’re putting so much pressure on you, this blog should also bring you joy and not seem like a chore because you have to make money with it. And, sorry to say, I did laugh when I read your adventure, I know, I should not!
    Went to Paris today and thought about you and all the things I would like to show to tourists (shops and places). Enjoy your week end.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi MB!!! Yes!!!! Keep laughing!!! That’s what I want–to make everyone smile and laugh!! I just finished filming a video on stuff I get in Paris! Oh man I wish I was there right now!! XOXOXOX!!!!

  18. Oh, do I feel for you. I was having problems dealing with the size of photos. Photoshop said they were too large for them to make them Web ready. I was tearing my hair out. Going nuts. I really relate. I finally fixed them and now I’m boss of them. But until then……. So kudos to you. I can relate. I may have the same problems I’m going to try videos also. Crazy ladies.

    • Catherine says:

      Sandy. The thing that kills me is that the programmers create with other like mindsets. No regard about those of us (and I’m gonna guess we are a large number) who know nothing and need an easy program!! It’s definitely crazy!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO!!!

      • My son ho got a masters in User Experience told me if I can’t understand a program it is not me it is the programmers. They are not thinking the way normal users think. So don’t blame yourself it’s THEM. I’ve been working on a slideshow for my grandsons Bar Mitzvah. You’d think it being Apple it would be easy intuitive. Nope. I just knew there was a way to edit to Apple to figure out how. Honestly. Why not make it obvious? we’ve got to stick together!

      • Catherine says:

        Sandy. That’s exactly what my husband told me. He sat me down and explained that the programmers don’t think the way you and I do–their minds work in a different way!! Hey. Do you have an Apple Store near you? Bring your PC there and have the techies help you. That’s what I do with my iPhone all the time!!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!

  19. PS. Love Barry Lyndon. Great taste in movies.

  20. anne says:

    Just made a google account so I could follow you on there! You are doing a GREAT job and it really is like having a friend to visit. Loving Chippy when he makes an appearance, now you need to sneak Bonaparte into one of your videos!!!Can’t wait for your next post. You are doing a wonderful thing for us older women and you WILL SUCCEED.

  21. jilly says:

    Sounds very ‘new age’ I know but here’s the thing; sometimes when things just won’t go your way there is a reason. Don’t fight this anymore, do the vids in sequence. It’s actually much better. Vids on a subject can often be ‘too much information’, Sequences give time to catch up on the process get back to the next step instead of putting the vid. on hold and rushing it .
    Your style is so cute and natural that it feels like sitting across the counter while a friend explains something and I think that, combined with your openness and honesty are going to be a BIG hit.
    Trust me on this, I have a history in the music video production/direction biz. , qualified in Cincinnati and then did my time in L.A.
    If you really want to go in this direction though, and I can see that sequencing may not work for make-up and styling and more chatty vids. get someone to come to your home and give you a lesson on your own set-up, takes all the hassle out and is well worth the bucks.
    Carry on the way you feel comfortable with and I swear you will set a trend. or not )
    Anyway, how can a woman with such great legs ( shaved or not ) and such a lovely husband feel anything but wonderful.
    But what do I know, I’m just an old lady in the Scottish highlands with chickens and a cat 😉

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Jilly! Thank you so much–your positivity is just what I need right now. I put more videos up and am just experimenting with different locations in the house–I’m trying to be as “natural” as possible because I’m somewhat fed up with many of the unrealistic looking women on YouTube. Most of us don’t look as those women do and it doesn’t give a healthy image!! XOXOXOXOXO!!!!

  22. jilly says:

    There is an ‘ or not ) after the word trend that is not supposed to be there, ignore ! See ? even video producers can screw up !

  23. fiona says:

    Cathe, I watched your videos (brilliant btw) last night not knowing that you were having a technology meltdown. I feel your pain, but really you are doing great. Now I AM a dinosaur when it comes to technology, really….I can’t even figure out stuff on blogger let alone film videos and edit them. Give yourself a break, Rome wasn’t built in a day and you WILL get the hang of this vlogging malarkey. I’m so glad to hear that you are going to continue with the blog and it’s thanks to this I have been out this morning and purchased eyeshadow and highlighter! Geez, there are so many products out there now, blur, primer, contourers…wtf, I wish Wayne Goss could tell me what my raddled old face needs, I’m confused!
    PS Great idea for Bonaparte to make ‘guest appearance’!

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Fiona. Oh yeah. This blog is my baby! And until my unemployment runs out, I’ll try my best to try to either make something of my writing or try to do something other than office work at this point!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

  24. calensariel says:

    Well I thought this was great! You have it all going on, girl! As far as the techo stuff, it figures. It’s just like always getting that note from the bank on Friday that says your account is $2000 overdrawn and you can’t get hold of anyone till Monday! Hang in there. You WILL figure it out! <3

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Lady Calen!! Oh God, if I ever got a not like that from the bank, I would end up in the ER with a coronary! I’ll figure it out at some point–LOL!!! XOXOXO!!!!

  25. Susan W says:

    I don’t know you, but I love you. Just found your blog this week and I am loving your videos. Don’t worry about the technology stuff, I don’t. Nice to see someone keeping it so real and looking forward to seeing more.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Susan!!! Thank you so much for your feedback and please, don’t be a stranger. Everyone is so cool and respectful here! Ugh. Technology! It is my ultimate mission to keep it real. I’m tired of seeing the overdone look–it just isn’t realistic and doesn’t speak to the masses or the “normal” older woman. So–here I yam!!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

  26. Hi Catherine, I read all the comments above and agree with them. I’m not tech-y but wrote for videos for many years. I have one additional tip you might or might not find useful. It can ask a lot of viewer to sit for more than five minutes and watch a video. SOMETIMES the philosophy can be: “get in, say what you have to say, and get out.” Of course, apply this to your funny and charming style. Just a thought.

  27. altogirl2 says:

    Hi Cathie, I’m loving your new YouTube channel! In fact, I just baked bread this morning so thanks for the inspiration. You’re a natural on camera!

  28. doodletllc says:

    Oh I know this tale of woe…but love your drive and brute force determination…I always say, if the dumb butts of the cyberworld can do this, so can I (we)…Can’t wait to take a moment and learn how to bake bread. 🙂 Keep at it! I know you will.

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Jeanne! Oh..and I’m finding out that those dumb butts of the cyberworld are now geniuses in my mind–LOL!!!! I honestly don’t know how these people can do what they do!!!! It’s hard!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

  29. HelloIm50ish says:

    You funny YouTuber girl!!
    I use imovie maker (free on Windows) before I upload it to YouTube.
    You’re a riot!!


    • Catherine says:

      Hi Robin. Windows no longer has Movie Maker! If you had it installed previously, you can use it but I’m late to the party and can’t. I don’t even care at this point. My niche from now on will be bad youtube videos!!! XOXOXOXO!!!!

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