Hey All! The following is a fun review! About a Tree. And Me!
Far be it from me to boast and brag about having a green thumb—-because I don’t!
I’m that person, who, when I was working down on Wall Street at the old Morgan Guaranty Trust Company, would have my colleagues rushing over to my work area to water the plants and trim the leaves because if I so much as looked at the greenery, every one of them would shrivel up and die.
This is what could’ve become of my office plants had my co-workers not saved them!
The only potted plants I’ve ever seemed to be able to keep for the season were geraniums. And that’s because I trained my kids to deadhead the old growth when they were on their way to catch the school bus in the mornings. Three kids and quite the number of potted geraniums on the front porch meant a lot of deadheading on their part.
….and now that the kids are grown, I’ve trained Bonaparte to deadhead the geraniums on the back deck. How else would they live past a week?
Don’t even talk about what happened this past Fall. I was becoming quite envious of the neighbor’s beautiful mums. Apparently, Chrysanthemums are impossible to kill—unless you are me. Four pots of these yellow puffballs met their untimely demise within one week. One. Week.
Don’t even ask how, but I managed to kill these gorgeous plants within one week. One week!! I should have returned them to Home Depot and asked for a refund!
I swear I did everything I was supposed to do.
We have a large potted plant that leads to the sun room. Bonaparte takes care of it. Had I taken care of it, it would have been gone a long time ago.
A nice potted tree this is. No thanks to me!
And those Poinsettias that I’m so proud of because I take such great care of them—it appears that a certain Frenchman has been going behind my back…
And here I thought the poinsettias were thriving because of me–apparently they like when Bonaparte waters them and speaks French to them!
But—the straw that broke the camel’s back came in the form of a green, struggling Dieffenbachia that we had for quite a few years. Bonaparte brought it back from near death after I touched it. Then, sadly, the end came a few weeks ago. I was honestly very sad. It validated my lack of horticultural expertise.
You have no idea how upset I was when this plant died. And it looked so good three years ago!!
I felt like some sort of botanical hit man. Almost like Alain Delon as hit man Costello in the film Le Samouraï.
I’ve never seen a better trench coat–or a more handsome Alain Delon…
..and me–giving this Basil a kiss of botanical death. I hope this plant lasts till next weekend because I’ll need the leaves for pesto!
And that very day, when our Dieffenbachia was laid to final rest, something happened. It was as though somebody upstairs was watching over me and felt the pain of my failed efforts with greenery. I received an email. The email was from PermaLeaf®, a company specializing in all-weather outdoor plants. Faux plants. They wanted to know if I would like to review one of their plants!
From PermaLeaf’s site. Yes. The plants are–genuine faux foliage! Our deck needs these for next summer!
Well, you know how I feel about certain tangible items labeled “faux”! My faux tan, my faux nails, my faux hair!!!! Now I had the chance to try a plant that seemed to speak to me. And on the very day my longest-living real plant passed away!
Seriously. CUT flowers in water last longer than potted plants in my home!
PermaLeaf® generously instructed me to pick a plant from their catalog. After perusing the site’s products, which was, for me, akin to perusing the J. Crew site. It was so hard to make a decision—I wanted everything and eventually I decided on a cute Ficus tree. It would be the perfect solution to filling in a bare corner of our deck during the summer months and would be the perfect solution to fill in either a bare corner by my favorite cupboard upstairs or the space that was left bare from where the Dieffenbachia once stood.
And last Friday, as I was out and about, I noticed a long, slender box that had been set upon our front step. It was my tree! Let me tell you, I took that box, ran upstairs and cut opened that box as quickly as someone who had just gotten a shot of vitamin B-12!
What a delivery!!!!
I felt like Ralphie’s father when he received his major award!
Remember the infamous “Major Award Leg Lamp” from “A Christmas Story”…that’s how I felt when I received the tree!
Only I had better. I received a genuine, indoor/outdoor faux plant that would give me years of pleasure without the chance of destroying it or worse—killing it!
Let’s take a look at Fanfan. And yes, I named my Ficus tree after one of my favorite swashbuckling movie characters—Fanfan La Tulipe!
French film star Gerard Philipe as “Fanfan La Tulipe” next to “Cartouche”, the best and most fun swashbuckling, adventure film of all time. Philipe is the stunner on the left! Now you know why I named my tree Fanfan!
Out of the box, the tree arrived housed in a plastic planter. A plastic sheath covering the leaves ensured that the product was well-packaged.
I ran downstairs to grab this ceramic pot which had been with me since 1994. It was used to throw spare change into–but this was the first time it would actually be used as a planter!
Leaves unleashed from the packaging, they looked incredibly healthy and realistic!
Chippy introduced himself to Fanfan. Thankfully, he didn’t raise a leg to try to “claim” the tree as his!
Pleasantly surprised at how realistic Fanfan the Ficus looked, I was particularly impressed with the sturdiness of the knotted trunk and its mossy finish It really is a nice faux plant!
I moved it over to another bare corner and I’m thrilled that the plastic pot fits so well into my ceramic one!
Admiring from the dining room where I sit to write. This looks like the real thing. And I won’t kill it!
The best thing is how little my husband pays attention to what I say. Not being able to contain my excitement I told him all about little Fanfan and how PermaLeaf® sent it to me. After nodding his head up and down with approval and a chorus of “Oui, Oui” and “Tres joli” I was happy he agreed with me.
But wait! Last night as he was watering the poinsettias that I thought I was lovingly caring for, he walked over to Fanfan the Ficus with the watering can and asked how much water the plant needed. Folks I cannot make this up—this really happened. Bonaparte was ready to water the faux tree because he thought it was real.
The poinsettias were watered but I had to put my foot down when my husband made an attempt to water Fanfan the Ficus!
And when I explained to him—or rather grilled him on why he didn’t pay attention to me when little Fanfan the Ficus was delivered, he stood there and smiled. He smiled at the tree in wonder and just said in his French accent that he was sorry for not paying attention to me, and that he swore the tree was real.
Fanfan the Ficus is now in the spot that occupied our dearly-departed Dieffenbachia. He’ll be here for a long, long time!
It doesn’t get much better than that!
Thumb’s up for Fanfan the Ficus! And thanks to PermaLeaf for sending me a wonderful gift to review. I’m a faux-tree hugger!
Honestly, if you are like me and for the life of you just can’t seem to grow plants whether indoors or outdoors, or if you just don’t have the time to spend taking care of plants, the faux plants from PermaLeaf are really great. If you are looking for a realistic faux plant, I highly recommend this company. I think you will “real”ly like what they offer!
If it were not for our love of real trees and the real plants that grow around us, we wouldn’t be so enamored of their beauty. But not all of us have the green thumb. Here’s an homage to trees–from one of my fave artists of all time–Cat Stevens. Enjoy!