It Looks Like $hit, But It’s the Best Fake Tan Ever—It’s Perfékt-shun!

Seriously, I’m a bit shocked at myself for waiting this long to write about this fake tanner.  I ordered it back in either late June or early July and have been using it regularly.

Nothing like a box of goodies–especially when you order them on sale!!

In fact, I never even got around to getting sprayed this summer!  It’s been an odd summer season, it has.  Between working and little weekend getaways, the summer has almost faded into oblivion.  And out of the entire summer, we made it down the shore three times.  Most weekends were gray and rainy.

I’ll tell you though, my legs managed to look like I was basking on the ocean’s front for weeks. And it’s all due to this body gel by the brand Per-fékt.

Forget about basking in the sun because we didn’t have many sunny weekends.  I basked in my makeup room admiring the color that this unusual body gel gave my legs!

One of the Instagrammers I follow @turtlelovesbeauty posted that the brand was having a sale and she had a code for ten percent off, and I hit the keyboard on my laptop and went perusing!

My purchases were a gold body illuminator that isn’t bad but the piece de resistance is the “body per-fékt matte body perfection gel” in tan.

Don’t even ask me what a ceramide is because I have no idea. All I know is that this gives a beautiful and natural color to the skin.

If you follow this blog you are well-aware how I love my fake tanners.  After having Mohs surgery for skin cancer on my face, I am now extremely cautious of the time I spend in the sun.  The days of roasting my body like a rotisserie chicken are over.

I’m no longer roasting my body although I’m pretty much stuffed at this time!

At the sale price on Per-fékt’s website, I couldn’t resist.  But just how did this product work?

Let’s take a look…

First of all, I was somewhat confused about this tanning product.  Is it a true self-tanner?  Is it simply body makeup?  Well…it’s kind of a combination of both.  I will call it an “instant tanning product” because it sounds more diplomatic.

Keep reading–you’ll understand my surprise!

When I first squeezed the product out, I was shocked because it didn’t look like any other gel I’ve ever had.  I was expecting it to be very gelatinous and somewhat slippery and shiny and blending into the skin.  But boy—did my eyes pop when I saw what made the exit through the small hole at the top of the tube.

Jesus, Mary and St. Joseph–just what WAS this anyway?  Didn’t look like any gel to me!

I was in such a state of shock that my naturally crossed eyes almost straightened out!

It looked like $hit.  I’m not kidding.  I was a cross between the kind of soft and slightly solid waste that you find in a baby’s diaper and what comes out of a smaller dog.  My initial reaction was “Caca de vaca”—what is this anyway?

And naturally, since I’m very clumsy and a total slob, some fell on the floor–this is NOT Chippy’s doing!!

I was a bit nervous about using this and I gather many others who purchased this had the same initial reaction as I did!

Then, as I went to spread it on my legs, it kind of morphed in front of my eyes to have the appearance of chocolate frosting.

Image result for atypical60 oona

I had an immediate of my daughter, Oona’s, first birthday.  I allowed her a piece of chocolate cake in exchange for this Kodak Moment and spent over an hour cleaning the cake and chocolate frosting from her face, hair and those folds of babies bodies!  I shoulda saved it as fake tanner!

Seriously.  It went from looking like something completely disgusting to a delightful chocolate ganache frosting of sorts–I was tempted to eat it!

Mesmerized, by this strange substance, if you will, I never heard the Frenchman as he opened the bathroom door; and he was aghast at what he saw.  You see, some of this stuff fell on the floor and he thought I had an accident.  This scared him terribly.

And he started speaking in French, while holding his hands to his head, Ricky Ricardo style.

Image result for ricky ricardo surprised

“Elle est Folle!!”  Is what my French Ricky Ricardo kept saying.  It transcribed into “She’s Nuts”!!

And when I looked down at the floor and saw the little mess, I realized it was bits of the gel tanner.  Things got worse when I bent down to pick it up with a tissue to show him it was just another beauty product—but he calmed down when I explained that I was just clumsy with the self-tanner!

The Frenchman was traumatized by the sight of my and the product that looked like an accident occured!  He won’t be a knockin’ on anymore bathroom doors anymore!!

He hasn’t barged in to any bathroom that I’ve been using in the house ever since!

But let me tell you more about this stuff!

After the initial shock of the appearance, I did rub it into my skin and regardless of the now chocolate frosting look of it, it blended into my pale skin perfectly.

The gel morphed into a very blendable substance and even though it’s matte, it doesn’t dry the skin at all!

It was an amazing experience!

The color was a true brown with absolutely no traces of orange. It never oxidized and it dried instantly! and when I say instantly, I mean instantly.

Both legs had a very even-toned color!  I did have to clean up a little bit of the gel that I dropped but other than that, it applied beautifully.  No streaks whatsoever and dried IMMEDIATELY!!!

No odor—and that’s the big fault with many self-tanners.  There’s a chemical and sometimes kind of dirty scent that’ll dissipate after a while, but the scent can linger.  This doesn’t smell.

The scent of no odor is a blessing because nothing will interfere with my perfume!!  Honestly there is absolutely no oder from this gel!

It does not, and I repeat, does not transfer onto clothing.  Today I’m wearing white shorts and I refreshed my legs a bit with this before I got dressed.  No product transferred.  Nada!  My white shorts are white!

I’m wearing white shorts today and not one trace of the tanner is on my shorts. And I didn’t even wait five minutes after I applied.  I lit-er-ull-ee applied, ran to my dresser and put these on!

I applied some yesterday too and nothing transferred onto my new Saddle Shoes!  Don’t you just love these shoes?  In my world it’s hip to be square!

It doesn’t come off unless you scrub it off.  Seriously.  I’ve shaved my legs while taking a bath without scrubbing my legs and it stayed put.  But if you’ve had it on for a couple of days and want to take it off, scrub off with body wash or soap and it’ll wash right off, giving you a new, clean palette for re-applying.


It even looks great on my feet and I’m generally pretty sloppy with applying any fake tanner on my feet.  I’m thrilled with Body Per-fekt Body Perfection Gel (or whatever it is)

I paid $14.40 for three ounces on sale.  I’ve since purchased another one for backup and have noticed that it is still available and still on sale I’ll be purchasing a third.

I’ve used quite a bit of this but it’s just so darned good!!  Luckily I have a backup and it’s time to order a third!

Per-fékt came up with a winner with this body perfection gel and I don’t know how they did it and considering what it looks like when it comes out of the tube, I don’t think I want to know.  All I know is this is a great, great product.

Other than getting sprayed, I don’t think I’ve ever had a tanning product that looked this natural or didn’t smell.

Whether you self-tan because you don’t want to sit out in the sun to bake your body or whether you want to make your legs look darker in the cooler or cold months because you hate wearing pantyhose (as I do), this is greatness.  A small amount goes a long way and the shade is just so flattering.

Here’s a photo of me from last summer–I got sprayed before we went to France and I swear the color of Body Per-fekt is just as good a match for my fair skin.  

Proof that one should never judge a book by its cover—or what comes out of the cover until you try it!

I’m gonna apply some to my arms tomorrow.  I honestly recommend this to all of you!

Have a trip to a southern climate or an island coming up this winter?  Might I suggest purchasing this and applying it to your body before getting on the plane—your skin will thank you!

And it works on mature skin too.  My legs have a bit of old lady crepe paperness to them but they still hold up fine with this product!

And with that, I give you a fun song from one of my favorite musical party groups. Joe King Carrasco and the Crowns.  From 1981, his song Caca de Vaca!   (I’m putting this song on Oona’s Wedding playlist for dancing!!)

About Catherine

Far from perfect, but enjoying life as a non-perfect and flawed individual at 60 years young. I'm still wondering what I'll be when I grow up! The characters in my life's screenplay include my better half. He is a refined Frenchman who grew up in Paris and summered in St. Tropez. I grew up in Long Island and summered in Long Island. I am not refined. My three grown children are also a big part of my life. For their sake, they happily live where their careers have taken them! But I can still mother them from a distance! I write about the mundane. I write about deeply shallow issues. But whatever I write or muse about--it'll always be a bit on the humorous and positive side! It's all good!
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18 Responses to It Looks Like $hit, But It’s the Best Fake Tan Ever—It’s Perfékt-shun!

  1. Terri Lee says:

    I can’t wait to try this, Cathe! I just ordered two tubes of caca! HAHA! Does it say anything about whether or not you can use this on your face, too? I looked on the website and didn’t see any products specifically for face-tanning. I’ll let you know what I think when I get it and try it. I’m tired of not wanting to put my self-tanner on because I can’t get dressed for so long afterward. I’m too fidgety to stand around, waiting for it to dry so it doesn’t stain my clothes. This will be an interesting experiment! Happy Labor Day weekend, lady! XOXOXOXOXO

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Terri! OMG. I’ve been soooooooo tempted to put this on my face but shied away from doing so. I think tomorrow I WILL apply to my face to see what happens. This is some great $hit!!! You’ll love it–especially since there’s no wait time!!! XOXOXOXOXXO

      • Terri Lee says:

        If YOU don’t put it on your face first, then I’ll put it on mine and give you the 411! Ha!! The very weird part of this is that I was just recently thinking how I had to find a new self-tanner because, as I said, standing around naked, waiting for this stuff to dry is not for me. So, I end up—in South Florida, no less—walking around looking pale and pasty (especially my legs! You’d need sunglasses to look at them lest you go snow-blind). Then, today, I read your new blog and said “Holy $hit! This can’t just be coincidence! I’m trying this stuff!” You’re the best!!! Always!!! Sending love to you and the Monsieur! XOXOXOXOXO

  2. Juliet says:

    That looks amazing – I am very pale, I think even I could manage to get most of that on me and not elsewhere so that is a huge plus. I also really like the smallness of the tube – seriously you can pack that when you travel and adjust your tan to the local population!!! Genius – I say that as usually I am the wee pink blob that stands out like a sore thumb, so fitting in tan-wise without sun damage is a thing I can only dream of usually

    • Catherine says:

      Hi Juliet! It really is amazing. Trust me, married to a Frenchman who has that glorious Mediterranean Olive skin and me with my Irish-freckly, pasty, fish-belly, white skin—it’s a challenge!! Even in the winter Bonaparte is dark! I just ordered two more tubes to keep me legs dark during the coming winter months. This shit is da bomb!!!!!! XOXOXOXO

      • Juliet says:

        sounds like the English hubster – he is always darker skinned – olivey, swarthy, tanned… and I am the wee pale pink thing toddling behind, I am really interested, as to putting it on my face – well 2 glasses of sauvignon and I’ll do anything 🙂

  3. I just ordered two tubes – I sure hope you are getting a kick back for this stuff because YOU SOLD ME! I’ve been looking for something that is quick drying, living in FL I use tanners year round and a quick drying time is important along with good color. Thanks for the great review and of course the laughs, you really are hysterical!

    • Catherine says:

      LOL. Kellyann, I get no kickbacks–the beauty industry wants nothing to do with a woman as old as me!! I am recommending this purely because I love it so much and it really works!! It also gives a nice finish to the legs. I am sure you will really love this!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

  4. Jenny says:

    I can’t wait to try the self tanner! Love your blog and the honest product reviews.
    Thank you!

  5. Nancy says:

    That looks good! Especially your daughter s childhood photo!😂😂😂

    • Catherine says:

      Nancy–I am hoping Oona doesn’t see this post–she’s in Italy now so I know she won’t or I would get the old side eye from her!! But that photo of her is one of my favorites. I had a Little Mermaid cake made at Carrot Top bakery in NYC for the occasion of which I most likely ate 3/4 of by myself!! But part of the fun of having kids that young is you can get them to do anything!!! I swear I’m the original bad mom!!! XOXOXOXO

  6. emjayandthem says:

    I love all of your product / make up reviews, thank you – I will definitely be checking this out!! A self-tanner I love is this one — it does have a slight coconutty fragrance but it works great, dries quickly and lasts for days – no streaking. If you buy it, get the spongy applicator glove, too to protect your hands in applying —
    – MJ

  7. Thanks Catherine! My legs are so pasty white that I hate to wear capris, so I will definitely give this a try next summer. This summer is beyond hope now because it’s been either too hot and humid to go out or rainy. I have only been to the beach twice. I used to use their Perfekt Skin Perfection Gel ten years ago and it was an amazing product for those who don’t like to use foundation – not greasy at all and my skin looked flawless. And I see they have a version now with SPF. I did my first foray into beauty reviews recently and was moaning about the lack of a perfect non-greasy sunscreen for the face, so will definitely check these out next summer! And the prices on the sale site are great. Alas, here in Canada it’s hard to find their products – I used to buy it at Sephora but they stopped carrying it. Thanks for sharing…..and your visuals were great, as always!

    • Catherine says:

      OMG! I used that Perfekt Skin Perfection Gel ten years ago too! What I didn’t like was the price because at that time, it was $50 and was very pricey but the quality and product was stellar! I got it at Sephora too!!!! I’m telling you this tanner is fabulous. I’m so pasty white that my legs take on a blue hue! And this summer was just as bad here on the east coast. The humidity is a bummer and today it’s ridiculously humid!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO

  8. Rena says:

    Catherine, this post was as funny as $#!% and I’m sold. When I ever I read a review about a self-tanning product, my first question is about the smell and I so glad that you covered that topic (and that it don’t stink). I’m rarely influenced enough by a product review to purchase said product, but you’ve sold me. Thanks for the fabulous post.


    • Catherine says:

      Hi Rena!!!!!! Yeah. This doesn’t smell at all! My husband cannot stand the majority of my tanning products because he says they smell dirty. This works like a charm! You’ll love it!!!! XOXOXOXOXO

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